Hi,

I hope you’re having a good day.

I was talking to a friend of mine about some problems I’m having.

Oh, nothing big, just some problems.

But apparently, I was complaining about it enough that eventually he said,

“Well, it’s not ALL bad.”

I looked at him like he was crazy!

See, to me, at the time, it DID look all bad!

But that’s because I was looking at it from the wrong perspective.

I was looking at it from the problem’s point of view.

I know that sound’s crazy.

I’ve been accused of being crazy before, believe me.

But hang in there with me, there’s a point to this.

The problem has the point of view that, “You’ll never solve me, I’m impossible to solve.”

And you know the thing about it is that people give up too easily.

They agree with the problem’s perspective!

They think, “Problem, you know, you’re right. There is no solution to you.”

But I want you to think of it from a different perspective.

I want you to think of it from the solution’s perspective.

It’s kind of like the hide-and-seek game we played when we were children.

The solution’s perspective is kind of like…

“Here I am, I’m here someplace, you just have to find me!”

It’s not always obvious.

It doesn’t mean to hide. It really is there.

Sometimes you just have to look for the solution.

In my courses/systems, I teach different problem-solving techniques, because they are important both for the person who has bipolar disorder and their supporter as well:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
Remember how when you played hide-and-seek…

Some kids were real easy to find, but others were harder to find?

Well, it’s the same with solutions.

Some are easy to find, but others are harder to find.

You just have to look!

Some solutions are right in front of you.

Some you have to look for yourself.

Others you can get by talking to other people about your problem.

But some you just have to roll up your sleeves, and dig right into the problem.

It’s like you have to say to it…

“Problem, I am not going to let you defeat me. I’m going to solve you no matter what it takes.”

Then there’s your own perspective.

How do you see things?

Do you see things from a negative or a positive perspective?

Do you think, “I’ll never solve this problem,” and then throw in the towel without even trying?

Or do you think, “There’s got to be a solution,” and then give it all you’ve got?

It’s up to you.

Finding the solution to your problems is a matter of perspective.

It really can’t be ALL bad.

What is YOUR perspective?

How do you solve YOUR problems?

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How are you doing today?

I just got back from the gym and was thinking about something.

You hear a lot about codependency.

There is even a 12 Step Program devoted to people who are codependent (CODA).

So naturally there is a lot of concern about codependency and bipolar disorder.

Some supporters worry if they are codependent or not. Some people who have bipolar disorder worry if they are codependent as well. But many people don’t even really know what codependency
is.

Since it is such a big subject, I talk about it in my courses/systems below:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

The question is, are you a codependent?

Then ask yourself, are you always feeling emotionally exhausted from trying to “fix” your loved one with bipolar disorder?

In a relationship where both people are emotionally healthy, both people try to meet each other’s
needs.

But in a relationship where one of the people has bipolar disorder, this just doesn’t happen.

The supporter ends up doing most of the work, going further to meet their loved one’s needs.

In a normal relationship, giving and receiving are balanced.

But do you feel as if this giving and receiving are balanced in your relationship with your loved one, or do you feel as if you are doing most of the giving, while they are doing most of the receiving?

There are some people who always seem to take on the role of being the “helper.”

They just seem to be drawn to people who have problems, people who are needy in some way.

These are people who give and give, hoping to get something in return (no matter what relationship they are in, not necessarily with someone who has bipolar disorder).

Look at your past.

Look at your other relationships.

Does this sound like you?

Then you may be a codependent.

People who have codependency issues try and try to save the other person…

Even sometimes at cost to their own health.

Have you found yourself suffering with your health: physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually?

It could be because you are being codependent.

This is a trap that is very easy to fall into with someone who has bipolar disorder.

They need you to be their supporter.

Then you are always there for them, meeting their needs.

Trying to help them, in any way you can.

But you usually can’t, so you try even harder.

That’s the codependent in you.

You need to understand that no matter how much or how hard you try, you will never be able to “fix” your loved one or their problems.

Their problems stem from the fact that they have bipolar disorder.

And you cannot fix bipolar disorder, because you cannot control it – it has no cure.

You also have no control over your loved one.

The only person you can change is yourself.

If you think you may be codependent, the first step is knowing it. Then you can do something about it.

You can change yourself, and you can change your behavior.

You can change your response to your loved one’s behavior.

Are you a codependent?

Only you can answer that for yourself.

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How’s your day going?

Happy Mothers Day if you celebrate it. I say “if” because we have so many people on our lists all over the world that sometimes people don’t celebrate some events/holidays.

Anyway it finally stopped raining and it’s sunny.

Hey, Guess what I am politically?

Do you think I am a Republican or a Democrat?

NOTE: For those outside the United States and don’t know what Republicans and Democrats are, these are political parties.

So, have you figured out what I am?

Take a guess, then scroll down for the answer.

Have you seen the movie “Swing Vote”? Keep scrolling…

Still don’t know?

Well, guess what? I am NEITHER!

I vote for who is the best one for the job.

Just like most Americans, I want the best Person in office who will run our country the best.

Who will take care of our people.

Who cares if they are Republican or Democrat?

Who cares?

Well, a lot of people do.

They will only vote for one or the other.

Well, I think that’s totally stupid!

They just want to do things their way, no matter what the consequences are!

What does this have to do with bipolar disorder?

Well, it’s kind of the same thing.

People come to me.

They want to have success with bipolar disorder, but they want it on their terms.

I want to help people, and that’s why I’ve outlined in such detail what to do to have success with bipolar disorder or to be the best supporter in my courses/systems below:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
BUT…

Some people just ignore that.

WHY?

Oh, they want to have success with bipolar disorder, but they want to have it on their OWN terms.

They want to have it THEIR way.

Even though I’ve outlined what to do, from vast experience, people tell me, “I don’t want to do that.”

I ask them, “Why?”

And they say, “Well, I don’t want to.”

In this country, we have freedom to choose (whether you’re a Republican or a Democrat), so I can say, “So what?”

So what? Do what you want to do.

As long as you get results.

But do you think these people are going to get results if they don’t do what they need to do to get stable?

If they keep doing the things they’ve been doing that DON’T WORK and keep them going into episodes, do you think they will ever get better?

But they want to keep doing things their way.

As a supporter, you can’t just say so what, because you want your loved one to get better.

And they shouldn’t say so what, because they should want to get better.

But they won’t if they keep wanting to do things their own way.

They just can’t say so what and not think about the consequences, because the consequences are more bipolar episodes.

The consequences are more problems for you.

Do you know what I mean?

They have to do the things they need to do to get stable.

A who cares attitude just doesn’t work when you’re dealing with bipolar disorder.

Right?

I am taking my mom to brunch so I have to go, anyway write me back.

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How it’s going.

Guess what?

A person on my team upgraded my blog system at www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsupporterblog
and made it much easier for me to use every day and administer it. We have thousands of posts and it was getting out of control managing.

Speaking of blog, I saw this post from someone:

Dave: One thing that DRIVES ME
CRAZY when I am in an episode
(medicated even) is people asking:
“How are you doing?”, “Are you okay”,
etc. I used to scream when I heard those
expressions. A much better greeting for BP
people (or anyone in therapy) is “Good
to see you!”, “I’m glad you are reading
this and hope you are well today.” Some
of “us” feel like we are constantly bombarded
with “ARE YOU OKAY” – when the
answer is NO – but I’ll make it with help.
No we aren’t okay. No, no, no. So quit
asking. It just makes us question ourselves :”
ARE we OKAY?” “WHAT is okay?????”.
Regards!

This is great advice.

There is no need to ask are you okay a million times over.

It does drive people without bipolar disorder crazy and of course people with it crazy.

You should be looking for the signs and symptoms and not have to ask. You can observe.

Some of the better questions to ask might be:

“Honey, is there anything I can get you?”

Or, “Is there something I can do for you?”

“Care to talk about it?”

“I’ll just be here if you need anything.”

And that last one is the best one of all.

Do you know why?

Because it shows respect.

You are respecting their space.

You’re not bugging them.

You’re giving them the right to be “not OK” by themselves, yet be there in case they do want to talk to you.

That’s what many people with bipolar disorder want most of all.

That’s what they consider support.

I had one person with the disorder tell me one time:

“She’s not my mother! She’s not my babysitter! I don’t need her hovering over me!”

Your loved one doesn’t need you to act like their parent or to treat them like a child.

In fact, the opposite should be true.

Remember when I was teaching about being an enabler, like I do in my courses?

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
Well, the difference between an enabler and a supporter is that an enabler does things for the person that they can do for themselves…

While the supporter treats their loved one with respect and understanding, and is just there for them, helping where they need to.

Big difference, isn’t there?

If you were your loved one, which would you want?

Either way, you know it’s hard for your loved one to live with bipolar disorder.

It’s even worse, like the man in the post said, to have people all the time asking you if you’re ok.

Imagine if you just had an operation.

And everyone just kept asking you if you were ok.

They just wouldn’t leave you alone.

You’d never get any rest.

Well, that’s not even 1/10 of what your loved one goes through.

They just want to feel some sense of being normal.

And if you don’t treat them like they’re normal, how can they expect anyone else to?

You need to model the right behavior, set the good example.

When someone asks you how your loved one is doing, it’s not wrong to say they’re doing fine, just as you’re doing fine.

Because you’re loved one is doing fine, for someone with bipolar disorder.

And you’re doing fine, for someone who is supporting a loved one with bipolar disorder.

What do you think of what this man in the post said?

Is what he said something that your loved one would say?

Does your loved one feel like this man does?

Hey, I have to run to the gym. It’s Saturday and today is the day that I have to do lots of cardio and other training
stuff.

Have a great day and let me know what you think of what I wrote.

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

PLEASE FORWARD TO YOUR FRIENDS

Hi,

How are you?

Here is today’s news.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews429

Lithium May Help Radiation Target Cancer, Spare Healthy Tissue
DO> Wow, interesting article.

Laura Yeager: Hypersexuality and Bipolar Illness
DO> Have you had this problem?

Mo. man treats mental illness with self-awareness
DO> Do you agree with this?

Dad’s mental health affects children too
DO> ABSOLUTELY don’t you think?

Lithium in drinking water lowers suicide rate
DO>Isn’t this strange to you?

Changing perceptions about mental illness proves a difficult task
DO> There is no question about this.

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews429
==>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

Hope you’re doing well today.

I am up super early today. I am actually writing this at4:30am because I can’ t sleep.

Anyway, I want to tell you about a friend of mine. She has bipolar disorder.

She has the type of bipolar disorder where she struggles with both depression and mania, which is very difficult with her.

As part of managing her disorder, she has a doctor, psychiatrist, and a therapist.

She has used the following technique with all of them.

I promise you that if you use it, that it will be successful for you, too.

Oh, I forgot to tell you –

She uses it with her supporter, too (which is usually what starts the ball rolling).

So what is this mysterious technique that my friend with bipolar disorder uses?

Well, it’s not really mysterious at all.

In fact, there’s no secret to it.

It involves using a KEYWORD.

In my friend’s case, her keyword is:

DECOMPENSATING.

When she feels as if she isn’t doing very well…

Like when she feels as if she’s depressed or manic…

And/or she feels as if she might be going into an episode…

She first tells her supporter, and then she calls her psychiatrist’s office.

She speaks to his nurse first, and she uses the keyword that they’ve agreed upon, which is DECOMPENSATING.

The nurse then asks her a series of questions, like if she’s suicidal, or if she feels as if she wants to harm herself.

(That’s the most important question of all.)

Then they talk for a few minutes, with the nurse trying to assess the seriousness of
the situation.

Because my friend has used her keyword, the nurse will ask her if she is safe, or if she feels she needs to go to the hospital.

In my courses/systems, I talk about how important it is to have plans for episodes, in case they do happen, like my friend has her keyword with her psychiatrist’s nurse.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
Then, if my friend says that she is safe (usually, since her husband is her supporter, she is), the nurse will talk to the psychiatrist about possible medication changes to help my friend.

If my friend is not safe, supporter by her side or not, the nurse will recommend that she go to the hospital.

There my friend gets the help she needs to avoid going into a full-blown episode, or a safe place to get further help if she is already in one.

The word DECOMPENSATING is my friend’s keyword.

You and your loved one need to learn a lesson from my friend.

You need to have your own keyword.

Then you need to teach it to your psychiatrist, his/her nurse, your doctor, and your therapist.

Had my friend not been able to reach her psychiatrist’s nurse, she would have called her therapist (and down the line until she reached someone for help).

The main thing is that your loved one is encouraged to reach out for help when they are in trouble.

If the two of you work out the keyword together, then you can be the first one your loved one reaches out to when they need help.

If they cannot call their doctor, psychiatrist, or therapist, then you can do it, and you can use their
keyword.

You can use my friend’s key word of decompensating, or you can use one of your own.

Even a phrase will do, such as “needs help,” “out of control,” “in trouble,” or “having bipolar
problems” have worked for people who have used this technique.

What about YOU?

Have you or your loved one, or someone else you know with bipolar disorder ever used a keyword or phrase as a way of reaching out for help when needed?

Has it worked for you?

What happened?

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

I hope this day is a good one for you.

I have to go to a meeting all day today so I need to get going, okay?

Let’s talk about what’s going on these days for a minute.

These days lots of people are worrying over all kinds of things.

Is it the end of the world?

Are we in a depression?

Will things get worse?

Are we running out of oil?

Are there going to be any jobs?

And on and on.

I saw an article that says the average person now spends more than 2 hours a day worrying.

This is highly unproductive.

I see with bipolar disorder people worry, too:

Will I go into an episode?

Will my loved one get ill again?

Will a major episode strike?

Will the bipolar medication stop working?

Will things ever get better?

The problem is that this is wasted time.

Worrying is always a waste of your time.

Know why?

Because the things you worry about are things you have no control over.

You should focus on what you can control instead.

You can waste your time worrying about all the things that could go wrong, you could choose to do that.

Or…

You could think about the things that could go wrong and try to have a Plan A, B, and C, but don’t dwell on all these problems.

Do you see how you have a choice in the way you handle your problems?

I teach problem solving techniques in my courses/systems:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
There’s a wrong way and a right way to go about it.

The wrong way is like I said in the beginning of this post.

There’s always something to worry about.

Always.

Just look around you, and you can find something.

Some friends of mine live in a trailer, and it’s pretty old, so there’s some things pretty wrong with it, like some plumbing problems.

They live on disability, and they barely can pay their regular bills.

And they probably can’t get a home loan.

Now, they’ve got real problems.

So they have a reason to worry.

But are they worried?

No.

Why?

Because this couple is solution-oriented.

They have a Plan A, B, and C.

First they are going to present the problem to their homeowner’s insurance. That’s plan A.

They are going to the bank anyway, because they figure the worst that can happen is that the bank says no. That’s Plan B.

Then, Plan C is that they are going to try to find someone they know who can help them get the work done, so all they have to do is pay for the materials.

Then, if all else fails, they will come up with a Plan D.

Do you see what I’m talking about?

They aren’t sitting there just worrying about the problem.

They are looking at ways to fix the problem.

Because they know the problem isn’t going to just go away by itself.

The problem isn’t going to go away by worrying about it.

The problem isn’t going to go away by talking about it.

The problem will only go away if they DO something about it.

It’s the same thing about bipolar disorder.

You may have some problems managing it.

But you CAN do something about it.

Think of a Plan A, B, and C. Even if you have to have a Plan D, at least you’ll be doing something about it.

Anything is better than just worrying about it.

Agree or disagree?

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.