Getting to the Source

Hi,

I want to tell you about this situation that my friends were in, because I think there is a lesson that we can all learn from it. They lived in this huge apartment complex. I mean HUGE! There were like 3,000 people that lived in this apartment complex!

And the thing was that it looked real nice on the outside and all, at least to the naked eye. And at least in dry weather. But here’s the rub – When it rained, the parking lots all flooded! That’s because they weren’t paved right to begin with. But you couldn’t see that to the naked eye when the weather was dry, you could only see it when it rained.

So here’s what happened: So many of the tenants complained that management finally decided to do something about it. Great, huh? NOT! Well… They got the pavers to come out, and they inconvenienced the tenants by making them go all the way around the paver’s blockades to get to their respective apartments while the work was being done (which they didn’t mind, because they thought well at least the parking lot was finally getting paved and no more flooding, right? WRONG!)

The next time it rained, the parking lots flooded even WORSE! That’s because all the pavers did was PATCH the parking lots where they were at their worse. They never fixed the REAL problem at its SOURCE.

So here’s the lesson I think we can learn: When you’re solving problems, you have to get to
them at their SOURCE. Or else they’re going to keep coming back at you again and again and again, just like that flooded apartment parking lot.

If you’re having problems with your loved one and their bipolar disorder, for example, you can’t just “patch” them and expect things to get better. Oh, they might get better for a little while…But then the problem is just going to reassert itself, possibly even worse.

Say, for example: You want to stop the fighting. So you just start getting real quiet. And the fighting may stop for awhile, but since you never discussed with your loved one the source of the fighting, nothing is really resolved, and eventually the fighting will start up again.

It’s just inevitable. Because you never really solved the problem. You never went to the SOURCE.

In this case, you need to talk to your loved one about what is causing you to fight in the first
place. You need to practice this strategy whatever the problem is that you’re facing. As long as you go to the source, you have the best chance of actually solving the problem and not just patching it up.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

 

Current Bipolar News

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews760/

Lithium safe, effective for bipolar disorder in children
DO> Important study, don’t you think?

Carolyn Amy Hood, former Thorburn teacher, on trial for sexual assault
DO> Do you think bipolar was responsible for what she did?

Family fights for ‘normal’ future
DO> This girl’s story will move you.

Antipsychotics use among older adults increases with age
DO> This study makes an important point.

Fraudster’s friend posed as ex for loan application
DO> This article will shock you.

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews760/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Is Your Loved One With Bipolar Trying?

Hi,

You’ve heard the expression, “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try, try again,” right? Most people have. It means to not give up after the first time you try something and fail at it.

Sometimes we don’t get what we want out of life. Or sometimes we don’t get it the first time
we try for it. Sometimes it’s because we need to wait for it. Sometimes it’s because we need to try harder. Sometimes it’s because we need to try a different way to get it.

Sometimes it’s because we need to change our approach. Sometimes it’s because we need to change ourselves. Sometimes it’s because we need to change our outlook. Sometimes it’s because we weren’t realistic to start with. And sometimes it’s because it just wasn’t meant
to be.

There are times when you just have to compromise. No matter how hard you wanted something to begin with, you may have to compromise and settle for something less.

In science and in math, the saying goes that the shortest distance between two points is a straight
line. But sometimes you can’t just go from point A to point B directly.

Just like when I go hiking, sometimes the path meanders and takes you around curves and bends
that you didn’t expect in the beginning of your journey.

So what does this have to do with bipolar disorder, you’re probably asking yourself by now, wondering if I’ve meandered off the path myself (LOL)?

I’ll tell you…It has to do with your loved one trying and failing. That’s right. What do you do when you see that your loved one is trying as hard as they can to cope with their bipolar disorder, but they still keep having problems with it, like getting depressed?

Well, first of all, you have to remember that you can’t change your loved one or make them do anything they don’t want to do. No, you can’t change your loved one. But you can help them change how they cope with their bipolar disorder.

How? Well, first of all, being a good supporter means being a good example. So you first have to show them that you cope with your own problems well, which hopefully you do.

And, hopefully, that you handle stress well, as that can be one of your loved one’s triggers to a
bipolar episode. So if they can learn from you how to handle stress, it will help them to avoid it.
And of course, you need to be loving and supportive, that goes without saying.

The way to do that is to act as you would with any other friend. In other words, be your loved one’s best friend. Be kind, be a good listener, be there for them if/when they need you, and don’t be judgmental.

They need you. They may act like they don’t need you, but they do. Just being there for them is very important. Don’t dismiss this.

They do need to keep trying, though, no matter how hard it is, no matter how many times they fail. So you need to continually offer encouragement to your loved one.

Reminding them that bipolar disorder is NOT a death sentence and that although there is no
cure, there is treatment and hope for recovery (stability) might help.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Current Bipolar News

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews759/

Lithium safe, effective for children with bipolar disorder
DO> Important study, don’t you agree?

Genetic Testing: A Key Campus Resource for Mental Health
DO> This testing will be really important.

Video Shows Police Officers “Protecting & Serving” a Computer Science Student — to Death
DO> This video will shock you.

Your smartphone can detect bipolar disorder
DO> This is an amazing way to track bipolar symptoms, don’t you think?

Ohio bill would exempt severely mentally ill people from execution
DO> Do you think this bill would help?

Clifton psychiatrist who allegedly had sex with bipolar patient agrees to license suspension
DO> Do you think this was fair?

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews759/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Bipolar Lesson From a Tree

Hi,

You know I like to go hiking, right? It’s my main hobby (besides non-competitive bodybuilding), and I do it as often as I can. Hiking helps me balance out the hard work that I do, and helps me stay de-stressed. That’s what a hobby is for, and I think everyone should have at least one, and the experts agree with me.

Anyway…For my hikes, I like to pick spots that have the most beautiful surroundings, so that when I take my breaks, I can enjoy them. Makes sense, right?

So I was thinking about this…Have you ever noticed the trees? How they seem to bend in the wind but not break? And how strong their roots are? That’s what keeps them firmly planted, so that they can stand against the wind and not be blown over.

So that’s what I was thinking about, how we could learn a lesson on bipolar disorder from the trees. I was thinking about how when they bend in the wind, they’re being flexible… And how you need to be too…Sometimes.

And how when they’re being firmly planted, so that they can stand against the wind and not be blown over…That’s how you need to be against the adversity that comes into your life…Even if it comes from your loved one…At other times.

Adversity, or stress, can come from your loved one in the form of being depressed or manic
at times, especially when they’re in an episode.

So, like I was saying…There are some things you need to be flexible about. For example…It won’t kill you to be flexible about what you watch on TV. Seriously, I’ve known couples who’ve gotten into verbal battles over just what to watch on TV! And you’ve got to ask yourself, is it worth it? To fight over something so seemingly trivial?

But to these people…Hey, they’re willing to go to battle over their right to each watch what they want! Well… I agree with their rights, but…I also believe that you should, as they say, “pick
your fights.” There are some things worth fighting over, and some things that just aren’t, in my opinion. Like the TV and what you watch on it, I don’t think that’s worth a knock-down-drag-out fight, do you?

Or…Say the fight is over your teenager’s curfew time. What’s the difference if it’s 10 pm or midnight? Is it worth fighting over? Some say it is, some say it isn’t.

The point is…This might be a place where you can be flexible, like the tree bending in the wind.
You might be willing to give in to the two hours curfew time just to save the peace and your relationship with your teen.

There are some things you would be firmly planted about, of course…Like who they hang around with…Or how they are in school…Or how they act at home…And getting their chores done, etc. And meeting their responsibilities.

But on other things you can be flexible. It’s the same in your relationship with your loved
one with bipolar disorder. There are some things you will stand firmly planted on, of course, and other things you can be flexible about.

For example…You will not stand for unacceptable behavior. Like the impulsive behavior they exhibit when they’re in a bipolar manic episode.

Like risky sexual behavior, risky driving, shoplifting, excessive spending, fighting, or even substance abuse, and other unacceptable behavior that hurts them or you (or others) or has consequences in whatever way.

That’s when you put your foot down, saying that you won’t tolerate the behavior. Or at least that you will reinforce the consequences of their behavior. That’s you “being the tree,” and “not bending in the wind.”

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Life Poem for Bipolar

Hi,

I read a poem the other day, and I thought it was really beautiful. Here it is:

Life is like a rose.
In order to partake of its beauty
You must also suffer the pain of
Its thorns

——————————————————————————————————————–

Now, that may be a good statement about life in general, but I’ll tell you what it has to do with
bipolar disorder. It was written by someone who has bipolar disorder herself — Michele, who works for me. So let’s talk about what she says, and how it does relate to bipolar disorder.

We’d all like our loved one’s bipolar disorder to go along without a hitch. We’d love it if they were medication complaint, stuck with their treatment plan, had no more episodes, always saw their doctors, therapists, etc., without complaining…

We’d love it if they would always take care of themselves (so we wouldn’t have to)…Stick to a good diet (and never cheat)…Exercise (and not get lazy)…And sleep right (never staying up too late to watch those late movies or TV shows).

We’d love it if we had a stress-free life as a supporter of a loved one with bipolar disorder. Yes, we’d love those things. But that’s not reality, is it? The reality is like what Michele wrote about
the rose. You have to take the bad with the good.

A rose is very beautiful. But it also has its thorns. Just like bipolar disorder. It has its good days.
But it also has its bad days too, doesn’t it?

What a beautiful life it would be if we didn’t have to deal with bipolar disorder…NOT TRUE!
We’d still have to deal with life itself. And, like the poem, which was NOT about bipolar disorder, by the way, it was about LIFE…No life is perfect.

You’d still have to deal with many of the same problems you’re having to deal with that you are
now with your loved one’s bipolar disorder. So what I’m trying to say is…Don’t feel sorry for yourself when times get bad, because they would get bad sometimes with or without having to deal with bipolar disorder in your life. That’s just life itself.

If you have communication problems with your loved one who has bipolar disorder, you would
probably have communication problems with them even if they didn’t have bipolar disorder.

If you have problems with expressing your thoughts and feelings, and/or you tend to “stuff” them now, you probably would anyway, and that would still be a problem.

If you feel distant from your loved one at times, you would probably feel distant from them even if they didn’t have bipolar disorder.

If you tend to get stressed and anxious, you would probably still get stressed and anxious whether your loved one had bipolar disorder or not.

If you are short-tempered and tend to get angry easily, it is probably not because of your loved one’s bipolar disorder – it just may be the way you are.

What I’m saying is that you can’t blame all your problems on your loved one’s bipolar disorder.
Some of your problems would still be there whether your loved one had bipolar disorder or not.
Learn from the Lesson of the Rose.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Current Bipolar News

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews758/

Woman spared jail after attack at Padstow’s Obby Oss celebrations
DO> Do you think she would have done it if she didn’t have bipolar?

Heather Yakin: Carpino’s mental illness key issue in murder case
DO> Do you agree that bipolar is the key issue?

Scientists discover biological markers for bipolar disorder
DO> Interesting study, don’t you think?

Lawsuit alleges Kansas City airline pilot lost job after misdiagnosis for mentaldisorder
DO> Do you believe what happened to him was fair?

Man accused of insulting UAE online suffers from mental health issues, lawyer argues
DO> Do you think he should be held accountable?

Marlene Pinnock punched by patrol officer detained on same LA freeway
DO> This video will shock you.

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews758/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Current Bipolar News

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews757/

Man who stabbed workmate has sentence reduced
DO> Do you think this was fair?

Woman sentenced following Crewe fire
DO> Do you think this would have happened if she would have taken her medication?

Woman spared jail after attack at Padstow’s Obby Oss celebrations
DO> Do you think her bipolar was at fault?

Haley, DSS chief agree to increase protections for children in foster care
DO> This lawsuit will make a big impact.

Heather Yakin: Carpino’s mental illness key issue in murder case
DO> Do you think he got away with it?

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews757/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave