Dealing with Bipolar Disorder? This is the key

Hi, how’s it going for you today? Are you doing all right? I hope so.

Recently, I’ve been talking a lot about communication – good communication – and how important that is. Well, a key component to getting along with others is COMPROMISE.

I had shared about this guy I know who is always fighting with his girlfriend because he HAD to

be right! He didn’t realize that compromise was the key. So they kept fighting. But when I talked to him and explained about the AGREE TO DISAGREE concept, which IS compromise, I think he really listened, because I haven’t heard about any more fights lately!

Whether it is a relationship with your loved one or whoever, you need to learn the art of compromise. Whatever the situation, you may be called upon to compromise, and the more willing you are to do that, the less disagreements or uncomfortable situations you will have to face.

So the first thing is WILLINGNESS. You have to be willing to compromise.

Now, that’s hard for some people to do – Like the guy I told you about who had to be right all the time. At least until he became willing to compromise. Then he started getting along more not just with his girlfriend, but in other situations and with other people, too.

If you are willing to compromise, you will get along a lot better with your loved one who has bipolar disorder. Hopefully, you can teach your loved one about the AGREE TO DISAGREE

concept, or even show them the emails (that one and this one).

Then, as long as they are WILLING to compromise, especially if they agree with the concept, your communication will improve.

So, the first step is WILLINGNESS.

Then you have to have the DESIRE to have effective communication. Like this guy I had told you about, it was either learn how to compromise, or to have to break up with his girlfriend, because they couldn’t just keep going along fighting all the time. If you have willingness and desire to have good communication, you will be more apt to have it.

You also have to have a GIVE-TAKE attitude.

Like that guy who learned in the end that it was ok not to be right all the time! Having a give-take attitude means that you will have a more positive attitude, not shutting the other person out.

You also need to have an OPEN MIND.

Understand that it’s ok for your loved one to feel the way they do. If you keep an open mind, it will be easier to separate them from their disorder. It will also be easier to see where they are coming from. In turn, if they keep an open mind, they will be able to see where you are coming from as well.

If the two of you can do these things, you CAN have good communication, in spite of the fact that your loved one has bipolar disorder.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Current Bipolar News

Hi,

How’s it going?

I am getting the news out early today because I have a million things to do today.

Anyway, with that said, here’s the current news on bipolar disorder

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews467/

Here are the news headlines:

Fighting bipolar with art
DO> Wow, great article, take a look.

Toledo woman describes her battle with bipolar disorder
DO> What do you think of what she is saying?

Service dog helps woman fight mental illness
DO> Inspiring article, take a look.

Excessive substance use in bipolar disorder is associated with impaired functioning…
DO> I hope that you knew this, if you didn’t read this article right away.

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews467/

==>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Bipolar Supporter? Learn How to Do This

Hi, how are you today? I hope you’re fine.

I was reading this article the other day about relationships. It was saying that, of course, good, honest communication is one of the most crucial parts to a successful and healthy relationship.

I already knew that, as I’m sure you probably did as well. Hopefully, your communication with your loved one is good. Because good, honest communication with a loved one with bipolar disorder is especially important. They need to feel that they can be honest and open about their thoughts and feelings when they talk to you. Many times, you are their “check and balance,”

Here’s what I mean by that. They may have disturbing thoughts that have them concerned. If they feel they can share them with you and you won’t judge them for those thoughts, or throw them right into the hospital, they will tell you what they’re thinking and get your opinion.

Sometimes, the thoughts of a person with bipolar disorder are not rational. And that can be scary for a person with the disorder. As their supporter, you can listen to what they share and decide whether these thoughts are rational or not.

When this happens, your loved one is asking for an honest opinion. This is not the time to hold back so that you don’t hurt their feelings. They may really be in trouble, and asking you for help.

If your loved one is having troublesome thoughts, it would help to have you as a sounding board. Especially if they’re concerned about their own thoughts. They may not trust these thoughts (or themselves), and they need to know that you will be impartial and tell them if there’s nothing to worry about or if there is.

You need to learn the difference between just a “racing thought” (or even just a normal thought

with nothing to do with bipolar disorder) and thoughts that are irrational and indicative of a bipolar episode.

That way, if you agree with your loved one that their thoughts are disturbing, you can get them the help they need before they go into a full-fledged episode. They may just need you to encourage them to go to their therapist and talk about these thoughts. Or they may need to be hospitalized, especially if the thoughts are about dying, hurting themselves (or someone else), or even committing suicide.

Usually, you should be able to just encourage them that their thoughts are just from the bipolar disorder, and that’s enough. However, as I was saying, if these thoughts are disturbing even to you, or cause you concern for your loved one (and their safety or yours), you may need to take

action. Encouragement may not be enough. You may even need to take your loved one to the hospital.

Especially if these thoughts go on for any length of time, as that can indicate a pending episode.

But it’s up to you to discern whether you need to take action or not. You need to learn the difference between thoughts that are just concerning, and thoughts that are from a bipolar episode.

Try talking to your loved one when they are between episodes and can explain what it’s like to have these thoughts, and what type of thoughts they have.

NOTE: If the thoughts are bad enough that they even concern you, it means you need to take

action.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Dealing With Bipolar? Discover These Simple Things

Hi, how’s it going for you today? I hope you’re having a great day.

You know, I’ve heard it said, as I’m sure you have too, that it’s the simplest things that can make a big difference. Have you ever thought of that? Too many of us have a way of complicating things, so that we lose the solution in the middle of all the tumult. When it could be that the solution is staring you right in the face. A simple thing.

Some of our greatest inventions are due to a simple idea. Look at the telephone…The lights…

The car…The computer…

They all started with a simple thought, and expanded on that to become a great invention that helps people.

I’m not saying that it is always going to be easy to solve your problems. Some problems seem almost impossible to solve. But let’s take, for instance, that your loved one is in an episode. It’s not hard to see the solution to that problem – they need to get immediate help, or they will get worse. It’s the HOW that is the problem.

If you’re lucky, your loved one will call their own doctor, psychiatrist, and/or therapist for help.

Or, if it is really bad, that they would agree to go to the hospital voluntarily. But if they are not cooperative, you need to come up with another solution. Especially because they need more help than you can give them.

For one couple, this was a simple solution.

The husband was in a bipolar episode, and saying all kinds of strange things (hallucinations and

delusions). He also wasn’t sleeping. The wife was trying to get him to seek help. The problem was, he didn’t want to. So she very patiently talked to him.

She reflected back at him (one of the communication techniques that I teach) the things he was

saying. When he heard them coming out of her mouth, he could see that they weren’t rational. When she pointed out that there really was no one else there (and showed him), he could see that he was hallucinating.

But when she asked him if he was tired…When she pointed out how nice it would be for him to sleep…That’s when he started listening to her. I’m not saying it will be something as easy as “Wouldn’t it be nice to get some sleep?” like it was for this woman.

But I am saying that sometimes it’s the simplest things that help the most.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Bad Bipolar Disorder Advice Inside

Hi, how are you doing today? I hope you’re doing fine.

I’m really concerned about something, and I think you need to know about it as well.

You know I volunteer at several places where there are people with bipolar disorder, like support groups and such. Well, sometimes I like what I hear, and then I bring that information to you, because I think you can benefit from it.

But what is really bothering me today, and I think it’s been building up and I’m surprised I haven’t brought it up lately, is something that I’ve noticed happens at some of these meetings that is NOT a good thing.

I’ll tell you about it:

It’s when people who have NO clue about bipolar disorder give advice on it – even though the advice is sincere, it is still sincerely wrong! Now people can truly get hurt by this advice, and that makes me mad!

For instance, one person at the support group meeting said, “My friend told me that since I seem

to be doing so much better, that I should stop taking my medications.”

Then other people say, yeah, my friend said the same thing… and before you know it, this one comment is controlling the whole meeting, and it is a totally FALSE thing – a LIE!

I’m sure they’re not trying to steer someone else wrong, they just might not be aware of how harmful bad bipolar disorder advice can be. Even fatal, when you’re talking about going off your medications.

Then, when I try to tell them that that comment can’t be true, or that it could hurt them, or at least that they should check with their doctor before going off their medications, they ALL look at me like I’m some crazy person! Know what I mean?

Or they say their friend told them to stop working and get on disability. Another person said that their friend told them that another friend said that they should take this supplement on the market instead of their medications, and that it worked for their friend’s friend!

But I ask myself, where are these people getting this stuff? And how come people are believing it? Really, sometimes I just want to walk out of these meetings and just keep going. But then I remember why I am there – to help. And sometimes that help is just to tell them the truth about what their “friends” have been telling them.

Unfortunately, there is still no cure for bipolar disorder, no matter what you may hear at a support group meeting. Even though these people are well meaning, always check with your

doctor before you do anything like taking a supplement instead of your medications just because you heard “a friend of a friend of a friend” says it works. Everybody is different. What works for one person great may not work for another person.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Dealing With Bipolar? Don’t Let This Go On

Hi, how are you today? I hope you’re having a great day.

Have you ever known a workaholic? Or even been one yourself? It’s one thing to work hard. That is commendable. But to work so hard that it gets you stressed out is not a good thing.

Here’s another question for you: How many people do you know who love their work? Probably no one, right?

As children, we are encouraged to follow our dreams (even though some of them are not realistic, like becoming the president). We are told to use the gifts and talents we have to think

of a career that we want to work in.

But too many people actually hate their jobs. If you are one of them, don’t let this keep going on.

I know the economy is tight. That’s why so many people are holding onto their jobs, even if they hate them. But eventually, it will eat away at you.

I know one woman who hated her job so much that she had an anxiety attack on the way to work every day. That’s no way to live. And definitely no way to take care of yourself.

I have talked before about starting a home business as an alternative to working outside the home. Or consider working only part-time, if you can afford it.

But remember back to the beginning of this post. You should be working in a field that supports your gifts and talents. A job that you enjoy. One that makes you feel good about yourself. One that you look forward to going to. Unfortunately, too many people don’t do that. They just take whatever they can get.

I know one man who is a certified car mechanic, but can’t find a job in his field. So he started a home business just fixing cars in his driveway for now. And he does very well for himself, and is basically stress-free, because he is his own boss. Also, he can set his own hours. He also determines how much money he is going to make.

So he is doing what he is trained to do…What he loves to do…The way he wants to do it.

Some people are stuck at dead-end jobs – they can’t go any further up the ladder. Then what do you do? There are so few jobs out there at this point, because the economy is so bad. So many people are even being let go from their jobs. And the competition for the jobs that are out there

is fierce. But not if you start your own business, like the car mechanic I was telling you about.

He is very happy doing what he’s doing.

Maybe you should consider starting your own home business?

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Current Bipolar News

Hi,

How’s it going?

Here’s the current news on bipolar disorder

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews466/

Here are the news headlines:

More young people seek bipolar help and advice
DO> This is great isn’t it?

Helpline obsession makes telephone therapy a tough call
DO> What do you think of this?

Calls to bipolar helpline double
DO> Well this is sad there are more problems, but good people are getting help

Rutgers grad helps others with lessons learned from own battles with severe mental illness
DO> Great article.

Guitar helping musician with bipolar illness hit high notes
DO> Another inspirational story.

Eye test could help diagnose depression
DO> Hmm. What do you think of this?

For these stories and more, please visit
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews466/

=>>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Bipolar? This With a Capital P Will Help

Hi, how is your day going? I hope you’re having a good one.

You may or not remember a musical many years ago called “The Music Man.” In this musical, there was a song about a new pool table the town had just gotten. Some people weren’t happy

about it. So the song was about that.

Here are some of the lyrics:

“We’ve got trouble

Right here in River City

Trouble with a capital T

That rhymes with P

That stands for pool…”

Now, that’s kind of a lighthearted way to introduce today’s topic: Patience with a Capital P

You need patience with a capital P if you are going to be able to deal with your loved one’s bipolar disorder.

I know, that may sound “easier said than done.” I remember I lost my patience with my mom many times. It was really hard for me. Sometimes I would have to explain things over and over

again, and she still didn’t get it, so I would get frustrated and lose my patience.

It’s hard to have patience with a loved one who has bipolar disorder sometimes. As supporters, we’re dealing with our own problems, then sometimes we have to deal with our loved one’s problems as well as our own. Sometimes the stress level gets too high (both theirs and yours).

Losing your patience will only add fuel to the fire, though. Your loved one depends on you

to be patient (with a capital P). And you need to be patient for your own sake as well.

Patient people can think clearer. They don’t react to things as much as impatient people. Impatient people get angry and frustrated more often. They get stressed. And stress can bring with it a host of physical problems, like ulcers.

For someone with bipolar disorder, stress can even bring on an episode, so patience with a capital P is especially what they need to practice.

But supporters are just as susceptible. If you aren’t patient, you will react more negatively to a situation, or to something someone may say to you (or something your loved one has done).

If you stuff your feelings, as many supporters do, it may come out anyway, in the form of impatience, frustration and anger. This doesn’t help anything.

What WILL help is if you have patience with a capital P.

Unfortunately, patience is not easy to come by. You will have to work at it.

The next time you face a situation that you can’t do anything to change (like your loved one’s behavior), try practicing patience with a capital P. It may get you further.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Dealing with Bipolar Disorder? Can you do this?

Hi, how are you feeling today? I hope you’re feeling good. If your loved one is not in an episode, you can consider it a good day! On the other hand, if the two of you are struggling, you may need this blog today. It’s about working together for your loved one’s stability (and whether you can do that)/

Do you think that your loved one feels your support? Or are you frustrated, because you know you’re going out of your way to support them, but they don’t seem to appreciate it? Maybe they just don’t see what you’re doing as support. Maybe they are in their own little “bipolar world.”

Maybe they really are taking you for granted.

Some people with the disorder get so caught up in themselves and their own suffering that they can ignore their supporter and what is done for them. I’m not saying that this makes them a bad person or anything, but it may point out a problem in your relationship.

It’s important that you get your own needs met before you can meet your loved one’s needs. Or, maybe even not before, but you at least do need to get them met. If you don’t, you will end up resenting your loved one, among other negative feelings.

The point is that you both need to work together in order to have a good relationship in spite of the bipolar disorder. Because that can be very difficult. Impossible, if you don’t work together.

In order to be on the same side, your loved one has to know what you are thinking and feeling.

Stop tip-toeing around them. Be assertive. Tell them how you feel, even if it’s negative. That’s the only way they’re going to know – they are not a mind-reader. Don’t be so afraid to hurt their

feelings. If done properly, no one’s feelings will get hurt.

Pick a time when your loved one is not in an episode. Or even isolating or being distant from you. They need to be receptive to your advances. Try to be kind and loving when you bring up this topic. You want to be sure not to be threatening, or cause your loved one any stress or anxiety, or they won’t open up to you. Then, being calm, and using a soothing voice, tell your loved one how you feel.

You can say something like: “I love you, but I feel like you’re pulling away from me, and that hurts me. I want to help you with your struggle with bipolar disorder, but I need your help in telling me what you need.”

You see? This is not threatening, but offering support. Especially if you use a calm, soothing tone of voice. Then be ready to do what your loved one needs to further their stability. It’s always better when you work together.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Bipolar? The Truth of a Man’s Character

Hi, how are you? I hope you’re having a great day

They say that the truth of a man’s character is what he does when no one is looking.

How is your character meter? Are you the same whether you are at home or with other people?

Are you proof that adversity can be overcome? Do you have a positive attitude? Are you an optimist?

I’ve talked about how your attitude determines your stability. Well, it’s not just stability that

your attitude determines. It goes further than that. Your attitude can determine whether you have a good day or a bad day. It can affect your relationships with other people.

Although it works if you have bipolar disorder by helping you reach stability… If you’re a supporter, your attitude (character) can affect your whole life. It can definitely determine whether you are a good supporter or not.

What do you do when no one is looking? Are you consistent in your character? Do you show the same strength at dealing with things whether anyone is watching you or not? Do you have the same stamina? Do you devote yourself to helping your loved one get better? Do you do things like trying to keep your loved one’s life (as well as your own) as stress- free as possible?

Do you keep your home relatively stress-free? Are you protective of your loved one? Do you try to keep junk mail and negative mail and calls from reaching them?

How are you at handling your problems? Are you a creative problem solver? Do you keep looking for a solution even though one doesn’t seem to be forthcoming?

Are you embarrassed by your loved one and their behavior? Or have you learned to show

understanding, patience, and tolerance? Do you hide from the world or take it head-on?

Are you being the best supporter you can be? Do you admit when you need help, and then accept the help that is offered? Can your loved one depend on you? Are you really there for them? Are you a good listener? Not only listening to what they say, but also what they DON’T

say? Are you a good companion? A good friend?

Are you doing what is necessary for yourself? Are you taking care of yourself so that you can take care of your loved one?

I know, this all seems like one big quiz, doesn’t it? But your answers do matter. They determine your character. And you need to have strong character to deal with bipolar disorder.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave