==>>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==
Check out all my resources, programs and information
for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp

Hi,

What’s new?

How’s it going?

People have been asking me what I am
planning on doing for New Years. I think
that I might just stay home and rest.

I could use the rest J

Anyway, I wanted to send an important reminder
about bipolar disorder.

It’s coming up to New Year’s,
and the time of year that everyone
starts making their New Years
resolutions.

Are you one of those people who
make resolutions but never keep them?
If you are, don’t feel bad, because you
are definitely in the majority!

Do you know why most people
fail with their New Years resolutions?

Because they have NO PLAN.

Because they SET NO GOALS.

It’s like all those people who
want to lose weight, but don’t set
up a system to change their lifestyle
so that they’ll be able to lose weight.

Instead, they go on a crash diet, so
they fail. Because everyone knows
that crash diets don’t work.

And even if they do work, it’s only
a temporary weight loss at best, and
then you gain back the weight and more!

See the difference? They want to
lose weight, but they aren’t doing it
by setting goals and making a plan!

The fast track never works. Long-
term change only happens when you
have set goals and set out to achieve
them.

Do you want to be a person this year
who keeps their New Years resolution?

Then I recommend today that you swing
by the bookstore and/or library. Get a book
on goal setting. There are a million today.
All are good in general.

Read it before the New Year. Pick 2 to 3 goals
(not a million) and use the book to set some
reasonable goals.

Get my course/systems to help with bipolar related
goals:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

Notice that I used the term “reasonable
goals” above. If you make your goals too
far out of your reach, you’ll never attain
them, and you’ll fail.

But if you make your goals reasonable,
they’ll be attainable, and you’ll find
success! They don’t have to be
anything extreme, just something you
would like to achieve.

The books and my courses will help
you learn how to set and achieve goals.

Let’s hope that this year will be the year
that you’re able to keep your New Years
resolutions!

It’s sad but true that many people won’t
do well in 2008, because they either don’t
set any goals or don’t follow through.

If you struggle with goal setting, run
down to the library or book store and
get one book on the topic. There are a million
good books and each talks about how to
overcome problems with goal setting.

Make it a great year and take action.

I have to run, I have a bunch of things to
do today. I will catch you tomorrow morning.

Your friend,

Dave
–
P.S. Don’t forget to take a look through the
different programs I’ve put together… each one is designed
to help you with a different area of bipolar disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp

P.P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com

==>>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==
Check out all my resources, programs and information
for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp

Hi,

How’s it going today?

I really have to go quick today because
I got up late.

Anyway before I get started on today’s
topic, I wanted to let the people who
have written me about various new
courses and projects, they are coming
just as fast I can.

Several people have asked me about
this or that program and when it’s coming.

I wish they were all done right now but
I have learned that like getting better
with bipolar disorder, it takes time.

Here are the things that I am releasing
within like the next 3 weeks
for free:

new guide on the top myths that
are deadly with bipolar disorder

huge Encyclopedia of the major
categories of mental illnesses.

I have been working on this for one year.
It cost me a ton of money to put together.
I was going to charge for it but I am giving
it away totally f.ree. Strangely, this is the
single most costly thing that I have ever made
for mental health.

Anyway, this is coming really soon. It covers
every single major category
of mental illness from autism, adhd, sexual
disoders to

schizophrenia to the ones that are called
“nos” not otherwise specified.

It’s been reviewed by multiple doctors,
researchers and regular people. It includes
comprehensive footnotes and endnotes
and is the most comprehensive resource
I have ever seen like it, anywhere.

-pilot program for getting low cost,
free and affordable medication and
treatment for bipolar disorder. GIGANTIC
project that’s will be out in a bout 2
months.

-A new guide, for free, 101 tips on
living with bipolar disorder. This is coming
out in about 2 months as well..

This year alone I have more than 20
projects that will be completed and launched.
I will try to keep you posted.

There will be links sent out via email
as to where you can get these things when
they are ready.

Okay, with the new year just around the
corner, I thought it would be a good
idea to talk about new beginnings.

But you can’t have a good discussion
of new beginnings without dealing
with the past first, now can you?

There are people, though, that will
literally argue about this –

Some people think you should
never think about the past at all,
and other people think you should
remember the past.

Ok, here’s what I think – I think
you should be somewhere in the
middle. Here’s the way I see it:

Santayana said: “Those who do
not remember the past are
condemned to repeat it.”

Well, that’s true. You do want
to remember it in that way, that
you want to learn from your
mistakes, so that you don’t
repeat those mistakes.

But on the other hand, if you
dwell on your past too much,
it could send you into a bipolar
episode.

So, like I said, I think you need
to come out somewhere in the
middle – there should be a
balance.

Just like everything else I
teach in my courses and
systems, there should be a
balance to everything so you
can stay stable:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

Once you have dealt with your
past in a healthy way, however,
(which is what I think you should
be working out in therapy), then
you can look forward in a positive
way.

Then you can start your “new
beginnings.”

And this is the perfect time for
new beginnings. New Year.
New Year’s resolutions. A new
start.

Every day is what you make it.
If you have a negative attitude,
you’ll have a bad day. If you have
a positive attitude, you’ll have a
good day. This isn’t rocket
science!

Let’s all look forward to the new
year with a positive attitude; a
good point of view. Let’s all
have a great new year!

Your friend,

Dave
–
P.S. Don’t forget to take a look through the
different programs I’ve put together… each one is designed
to help you with a different area of bipolar disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp

P.P.S. Check out my Free blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com

==>>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==
Check out all my resources, programs and information
for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp

Hi,

How’s it going?

Today I have a super important
thing to remind bipolar supporters
about.

Before I get started.

Hey, there is a person who posts many great
things on my blog. Her id is SuzanneWA. I am
trying to get a hold of her. If you
are her, or know her, please have
her email me at:
feedbacktodave@mentalhealthworld.net

Thanks.

Okay let’s move on to today’s
topic. We have been talking about
goal setting for several days now.

I am happy to report that I have been
flooded with phone calls, emails,
faxes and a few letters in the us mail
about how they are excited to think about
and set goals related to bipolar disorder.

Actually on Thursday I spent 7 hours
in the library working on my goals for
2008. I actually do quarterly goals
so I do this 4 times a year.

I still have to do a little more
work which I will do probably today/
tomorrow.

Anyway, someone wrote me:

“Dave, it’s amazing. What you said
the other day was so simple. The fact
of thinking about your future, where
you want to go and how you are going
to get there. I haven’t done this in
30 years. No wonder I am not going
anywhere. I am going to my therapist
to work on what my goals are and
I will talk to my doctor about them.
Thank you for making me think of this.”
-Cherie

That’s great Cherie! I am really
proud of you. Also I noticed
a whole lot of people are talking
to their doctor AND therapist
about their goals. This is great.
EXACTLY what you should do.

It’s kind of amazing when you
sit back and think about how little
time people devote to goal setting
and planning for their own life.

I have a friend who came from
another country. She barely spoke
English and had absolutely no
money whatsoever.

When she first got here, she bought
many books to help improve her
English. She started buying
motivational and goal setting
books.

She set several specific goals
8 years ago:

earn more than $100,000 a year
live in a big house on 5 acres of land
drive a black high end BWM
be married
live in the country
Have a job with a lot of responsibility

She called me the other day and I was
telling her about how I was talking
about bipolar disorder and goal setting.

She said goal setting was important
and how she had just found her list of goals
she wrote out and set years ago and was reading
frequently up until a couple of years ago.

She said she was amazed that every goal
she wrote down and set she had reached.

I asked her if she thought at the time
it was possible? She said no but she
followed the exercises in the books.

It was amazing story and hard for me
to believe but it’s true.

But back to bipolar disorder. I really
believe so many people fall short of
their potential when they are dealing
with bipolar disorder.

On the one hand, there’s the person
who is not stable, manic who gets a whole
lot done but then crashes.

Then on the other hand, there is the
stable person who doesn’t set any goals,
live on disability day to day really not
doing a whole lot. I find many of these
people are kind of afraid to set goals
or be more than they are because the
fear bipolar disorder.

There’s no question that you have to
factor bipolar disorder into your goal
setting. But when I talk to people I still
think they fall short of what kind of goals
they can set for themselves.

I really believe that the way around
this problem is to set goals and work
with your doctor/therapist about what
will not negative affect your bipolar
disorder.

So, again, like my mom, you have to
work with your doctor and therapist
when goal settings.

There is a side benefit of this.
When you show your doctor and therapist,
you’re serious about changing and improving
your life, they work harder to help you.
You wind up getting better treatment
from them. You’ll see.

Now if you are a bipolar supporter,
you too, can be involved with your
loved one’s goal setting by going
to a therapy session or doctor visit
that will be devoted to goal setting.

NOTE-This will be primarily for those
supporting stable individuals who will
allow them in the visits.

Speaking of bipolar supporters,
I got a lot of feedback
of people saying that they took
my emails to their loved ones
to talk about setting goals. Many
bipolar supporters are now
talking about setting goals with
their loved one’s with bipolar
disorder.

On this note, I have received a number
of voice messages and also emails
about how supporters feel bad thinking
of all the bad things that bipolar
disorder has caused.

Let me explain further by one
email I got.

“David, Hello. Thank you for all
you do. I have been on your list
for more than 1 year. I have learned
so much from you. I totally
agree with your concept of goal setting
with bipolar disorder. I spent time
thinking about what I wanted our life
to be like next year. My wife is
now stable, we did all you said
in your courses and it worked.

It’s really hard for me not to be
really angry when I think about
where we are. We lost all our money.
I lost many friends, family members.
I’ve been made to look a fool. Our
children are angry because of all
these episodes.

When I think about setting goals. I think
about how much I lost and how far we
have to go. It makes me mad at my wife. I
feel guilty for being mad at her, I know
she didn’t mean to do all these terrible
things and it was the illness. I do now
separate the bipolar like you have said.
What should I do?”
-Frank.

Frank’s email summarizes a whole lot of
emails that I have gotten that basically
a bipolar supporter is thinking about goals
but feeling really bad because he/she is looking
back and seeing all the damage that is done
from bipolar disorder.

Here is what I have to say. There is no
question that bipolar disorder is destructive.
There’s no question that for many, myself included,
it winds up making you way behind.

Here’s the think you have to realize about
bipolar disorder that most people don’t. Frank
does I think however.

The person with the disorder does NOT want
it and did NOT want to do all these bad things.

Many tend to forget this. Today I don’t
but up until like 8 months ago, I would as
well. I had to train myself to remember:

-there is my mom
-there is bipolar disorder
-bipolar disorder is the enemy
-bipolar disorder does the bad things
-it’s not my mom that does the bad things
-she didn’t want bipolar disorder
-there is way more good than bad.

Things like this. My brother on the
other hand focuses on all the bad,
thinks my mom is doing it all on purpose,
and believe some how there is more
bad than good (when I know since
I grew up in the house this is not
true).

Here’s what you should do if you
are goal setting and feeling bad
because you feel like you have lost
so much.

First, realize you can get it back. For
the most part, you can get back anything
important that has been lost in bipolar
episodes.

Second, realize, now you know what you need
to do to prevent this in the future. This
is a good thing.

Third, get as much information as you can
on how to move faster to get back what’s
important.

This can be done through your own research
or by getting things like my courses/systems
below:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

Fourth, keep telling yourself over
and over again that your loved one
did not want bipolar disorder and doesn’t
do anything bad on purpose.

Finally, realize that bipolar disorder
can be hard to manage at first and people
who have it, find out, overtime, what works
and doesn’t work on management. There many be
some slip ups. Remember this is not done
on purpose.

I have never met anyone who had bipolar
disorder that went out of his/her way
to be unstable and cause major problems
with other people.

So if you have a bipolar supporter setting
goals, you have to remember what I just said
if you are feeling bad about where you are in
your life and how far you have to go to
get back what all the episodes have caused.

Well I have to run and do a whole lot of work.
I’ll catch you tomorrow.

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Don’t forget to take a look through the
different programs I’ve put together… each one is designed
to help you with a different area of bipolar disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp

P.P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com

PLEASE TELL YOUR FRIENDS

Hi,

How’s it going?

Here is the current Bipolar Disorder news.

Make sure you take a look at the news. It takes
a lot of time to put the news together so please read it.

To see the news visit:

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews358

There’s some really interesting news stories this week.
Take a look at them. Also, write me some feedback by
visiting my blog below.

Here are some of the headlines:

Post-holiday blues leave many in seasonal slump
DO> Great article. Make sure you read it. I have
been warning people about this.

Once Diagnosed, Never Undiagnosed as Bipolar
DO> Hmm. What do you think about this article?

Doctors Finding Effective Ways Of Treating Bipolar
DO> Very interesting. Governments need to provide
more funding for more research. It’s a start.

Bettering Patients’ Lives
DO> Great article. Must read!

Correct diagnosis is the key for ADHD patients
DO> What do you think about ADHD?

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews358

==>> Get Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<== Check out all my resources, programs and information
for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp

Your Friend,

Dave

==>>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==
Check out all my resources, programs and information
for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp

Hi,

How’s it going?

I have an important thing to
tell you today about bipolar
disorder. I actually think it’s
one of the biggest problems people
face.

Before I tell you, I will tell
you how I thought about it.

Yesterday was a Saving Private
Ryan day for me.

What’s that? Well if you saw the movie
Saving Private Ryan, the opening
seen is really disturbing.

It’s kind of like a World War II movie.
Anyway, the US military is in a big boat
coming to shore for D-day in 1945. The boat door
opens and like 50% of the people in the boat
are shot and killed immediately. In the movie
they scramble to try not to get shot and killed
and get to the land.

When I have days when I wake up with
tons of problems and complaints, I call
them saving private ryan days.

There are days I get up and with this
bipolar stuff I feel like I have 50 to
80% of my troops shot and killed and
I have to retreat.

If you are a bipolar supporter, you might
find that you have saving private ryan days–
that is days when you have so many problems
from bipolar disorder, you want to run and
hide.

Anyway, yesterday was one of those days.

I had one lady that has called me
21 times demanding I return her call. She
has not left her phone number however.
Each message is more and more angry
and demanding.

I had another person threaten me.

I had one person mad at a daily bipolar
email that I sent.

I had another person call over and
over again on my cell phone.

I had another person super mad me
about my daily bipolar email yesterday.
She said:

“David! I can’t believe you are promoting
goal setting. Goal setting is the worst
thing ever. It’s a bunch of hype and I can’t
believe you are selling it. I am ashamed to
know you. I can’t believe you.”

DO> I got this and I am so confused, I don’t
even know what to say? Who the heck gets
mad about talking about goal setting????
NOTE-This is person is a bipolar supporter.

I had another person fax me a million
times yesterday with pages that make
no sense at all.

It took me hours and hours to sort out
all this stuff.

I was talking to Michele, and she was
saying, “I have no idea how you put
up with this all.”

Sometime days I ask myself that.

BUT, it’s days when I help just one
person that makes it all worth it.

I was talking to a person who
had filled out a free consultation
certificate that comes with my courses/systems
below:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

for non medication and non legal questions
because I am not a doctor, therapist, or lawyer.

She wanted to talk about goal setting
for the new year.

She really wanted to change her life
and do well with bipolar disorder.
We talked about what she thought had
been going wrong. She insisted that she
had tried everything. Then since she
has been on my mailing list she said
well not everything but a lot of things.
She knew that I would ask her if she
had tried millions of possibilities–
which she had not so she quickly changed
the everything to a lot of things 🙂

So we talked for a while and I asked
her some hard questions after I said,
“Do you want me to tell you what you
want to hear or what you need to hear?”

I asked the hard questions:

Do you have a good doctor?

Do you listen to your doctor?

Are you 100% honest with your doctor?

Do you go when you are suppose to go?

Do you have a good therapist, go, and listen?

Do you believe you can get better and be
stable?

Do you have your finances protected?

Have you looked for a job to help pay
for things?

Are you avoiding drinking alcohol?

I heard yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, etc.

Then after I really grilled her I heard:
no, but, no, but, no, but, no, but

After the buts were excuses, I told her
to just keep them to herself because I didn’t
want to hear them. These were yes or no questions.

Then eventually I just didn’t say anything other
than, “Do you see why your 2007 was a disaster?”

She said, “yes, you know, Dave. I kind of lie
to myself all the time.”

Then we talked and she was really going to follow
through. I really believe she will.

It’s odd because on Christmas, my friend
John who I talked about yesterday was
telling me about the problem this person
is experiencing–lying to herself. He said he
can’t believe how many people lie to themselves.

He said and I quote, “It’s hard to believe
how many people lie to themselves. It’s bad
enough that big companies and government
lies to you but when you lie to yourself,
that’s really sad.”

I asked him what he meant. He said that
insurance people lie all the time about how
much work they have down, how hard they have
worked, how many prospects they have talked to,
etc.

NOTE-My friend John is a top insurance broker.

Anyway, he said it leads to total failure. He also
told me how many people contact him and say they
can’t do well in the industry. He asks the hard
questions. They say, yes, yes, yes, yes when in
reality the answers are no, no, no, no, no if
they are honest with themselves which he says 99% of
people aren’t.

Then I started telling him how bipolar supporters
and bipolar survivors lie to themselves all the
time.

When someone has bipolar disorder and isn’t
doing well, I ask questions like:

Did you really take your medication?

Do you have a good doctor?

Do you listen to him/her and see her regularly?

Do you have a good therapist? See him/her?

Did you really get the right amount of sleep?

Did you really do what you are suppose to do?

Are you really trying to get better?

I find many times I get into arguments with
people with bipolar disorder and they say
yes, yes, yes and it’s really no, no, no.

Then they have 1 million reasons to justify
why they have so many no, no, nos. If you
have been on the phone with me or in person
you’ll probably notice how I just never
want to hear excuses.

I was speaking to a person named Mike. He told
me he has no hope. There is no doctor or medication
that can help him. I spoke to him for like an
hour. Don’t know why, he just called me and I had
some time.

Eventually he admitted that guess what?

He doesn’t take his medication, he stay up
half the week watching tv, he doesn’t really
go to therapy and he doesn’t think he could
get better. BUT, he argued with me and tried
to sell me on he was a total disaster and there
was no hope and he tried everything.

He was lying to himself.

Then I spoke to a bipolar supporter.

She said there is no hope for her husband.

I asked:

Did you try to find a doctor using my system

Did you listen to all the cds?

Did you read all my bipolar supporter materials?

Did you find a therapist using my method?

Did you setup systems to protect your finances?

Did you get a different job like I recommended?

Did you send signs and symptoms to the doctor/therapist?

Did you go over the section on how to handle your
loved one’s mood swings and anger?

I heard yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. After 20 minutes
it turned to, “well I didn’t do that but I couldn’t
do that because…I couldn’t read everything because I didn’t
have time…I didn’t listen to all the cds because… We couldn’t
use your doctor system because we didn’t have time.”

I said, “it’s amazing how you told me for 20 minutes
the opposite of what you are telling me now.”

She said, “well you are right.”

In my head, I thought, “Man, she is lying to herself.”

She then told me that she had to get serious
and stop lying to herself that she was doing way
more than she really was.

There are many people that lie to themselves. My dad
did it a lot. He would say he tried everything to help
my mom. But he really didn’t. Today he admits that he
really didn’t but didn’t know what to do.

My mom use to lie to herself about what she was doing
for her illness. She would say, “I am doing everything.”

She didn’t do 20% of what she was suppose to do
back in the day.

I lied to myself all the time from 1997 through
2005. I would give my mom a ton of money and lie
to myself by saying it was being managed well
and everything was okay. I would just keep telling
myself that. I remember my brother asking if
I knew where all the money was going and I said,
“Oh, yea, she needs it, it’s going to legitimate
bills?”

Lying to yourself is deadly. It’s a huge problem. Don’t
do it. Be honest with yourself. When you do, good
things will happen.

Even though I am going to get hate mail about
talking about goal setting for 2008, I am going
to talk about it. Sorry. It’s important. You
can’t set goals if you aren’t honest with
yourself.

Hey, I just looked at the clock, I have to run.

Catch you tomorrow. Oh, tomorrow is the bipolar
disorder news. See you.

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Don’t forget to take a look through the
different programs I’ve put together… each one is designed
to help you with a different area of bipolar disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp

P.P.S. Check out my Free blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.P.S Check out my Free podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com

==>>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==
Check out all my resources, programs and information
for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp

Hi,

How’s it going?

If you celebrated Christmas yesterday, I hope
you enjoyed it.

I had a good yesterday. I hung out with
my parents for a while and then went to
visit my friend John and my friend Bob.

Actually Bob was a police officer in
Florida and he was telling me how so many
officers never knew how to handle someone
who had bipolar disorder and was in a manic
episode. He said police tried to avoid
those with mental illness because they
just didn’t know how to deal with them.

Anyway, my friend John is really
successful in the insurance industry.

I was talking to my friend John about
goal setting. He was telling me how none
of his friends takes any time to plan
out anything, set weekly, monthly or
even yearly goals. He was telling
me how many more goals he started hitting
when he just thought about them more and
wrote them down.

John knows that I have this entire organization
devoted to helping people deal with bipolar
disorder.

He said to me, “does your mom set goals for
herself?” I said, “Yes, she writes them down.
She has daily, weekly, and monthly goals.
She doesn’t have yearly goals I don’t think. But
they are written and she goes over them with
her therapist and doctor.”

John said, “That’s great. I bet that’s a major
reason she is doing so well.”

I said, “Yep.”

Then John said, “how many of your other
people have written goals?”

John was kind of asking out of the tens
of thousands of people on my list, how
many people have written goals? I have
no idea.

But I know when I speak to people who
are my coaching clients, use the free
certificates with my courses/systems
below, people I meet personally where
I volunteer, or people I speak to on
the phone, VERY few do.

I don’t know why.

I have gotten a lot of people asking
me how they can have a better 2008.

One way is through goal setting.

Let’s think about this. If your bipolar
disorder isn’t doing well, or your loved
one’s bipolar disorder isn’t doing well,
would writing down goals hurt or help?

Of course is would only help.

Let’s think about the advantages of goal
setting with bipolar disorder.

Gets us to think about the future
-If you don’t know where you are going to go,
how are you going to get their?

Get us to start brainstorming possible
ways to accomplish our goal
-If you don’t know what you want, how
are you going to come up with ways to
get it?

Gets us to get clear on what we want
-If you don’t know what you want, how
are you going to get it.

There’s a book that says, if you ask
a 100 men what they want, 99 can NOT
tell you what they want. Only one might
be able to. Most can only tell you really
general things like “be happy”, “be wealthy”
or “have great health.”

If we were talking right now, and I said,”
Hey, quick tell me what your goals are,
could you tell me?”

If you can’t how can you accomplish them,
then?

That brings me to another topic on bipolar
disorder and goal setting.

You have to be really specific not vague.

I was working with someone who is one of my
coaching clients that set a goal of:

“I want to find a great job that pays
more than $65,000 a year, isn’t stressful,
has great health benefits and retirement,
my boss is understanding to bipolar disorder,
I can help people, the commute is less than
25 minutes each way, and I have flexibility.”

Isn’t that really specific? Now you might
think, “Dave, that’s impossible, there is
no such job.” There are such jobs! I know
people with jobs like this who have bipolar
disorder.

BUT, even if you think this is not possible,
isn’t it more likely to be possible if you
actually set it as a goal? Of course.

Here’s another thing that I was talking to
my friend John about. He is taking an
entire day to set his goals and think about
them. He said it might take him 8 hours
or so.

Imagine that 8 hours of thinking?

Goal setting has helped John along with
hard work.

My friend John will be a self made millionaire
from his job. This is a guy that could NOT
read in high school, was almost sent to jail,
was thrown out of like 8 different high schools,
was physically abused as a kid, had no teeth because
he got into a fight, had guns put to
his head at least twice, was so poor at one point
he collected change to eat, didn’t know how to use the
photocopy machine 7 years ago when he started his
job, couldn’t use a computer and on and on.

Many people bet against him, like many people
bet against those that have bipolar disorder. I
always knew he could be a success like I always
knew the people who work for me who have
bipolar disorder could be successful in my
company.

Goal setting works.

Let me ask you, how many minutes of thinking
have you thought about with your own goals
for bipolar disorder whether you are a supporter
or a bipolar survivor?

Let me ask you, have you spent any time
with goal setting?

Most people I ask, haven’t spent any time
whatsoever.

Sad but true.

Now think of this, if you have no goals,
don’t think about the future really, never
write any goals down, never spend any time
thinking about your goals as the relate to
bipolar disorder, is your year going to be
better or worse than it would be if
you did the opposite of what I just
described?

YOU have the power to make things better
by taking action today and working on your
goals and thinking about them.

If you feel that the bipolar disorder
is not under control and you need help,
take a look at my courses/systems below:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

Most of the problems that you will encounter
are solved in this material.

BUT, after that, then you have to really think
about how you are going to move forward and
change.

Now if you are a bipolar supporter, you might
be thinking, “how am I going to set goals for
my loved one who isn’t stable?” Well you can,
when my mom wasn’t stable I set goals like:

I want to find a doctor that specializes in
bipolar disorder that can help her get stable

I want to find a therapist that specializes in
bipolar disorder that can help her get stable

I want my mom to be self sufficient and be
able to pay her own bills

I want my mom to be out of debt

I want my mom to be able to work and
earn an income

and I set several other goals. All have
been accomplished except the get out of
debt goal which will be accomplished
in January 2008–that’s when my mom’s
last payment is.

It’s really interesting to me, that I hit
all the goals that I had for my mom and her
bipolar disorder. If you would have asked
my dad if this was possible he would have
not commented but in his head thought that
it was impossible.

I remember when I told him about getting
a great doctor and my mom being stable and
working and he said, “well, we’ve tried
for over 30 years.” That was basically saying
to me, “there is no hope, don’t bother.”

Today he would say that wasn’t the case but
at the time, virtually everyone in the family
was betting against me and my mom. For some
reason, I had 100% belief that I could hit all
the goals I set for my mom.

I don’t know why, but I just believed it.

Today you should,

spend time thinking about your goals
Actually go to the library and spend some time
Write down all the goals you want
Be specific
Don’t let anything hold you back on what you want
Write it all down

If you do this you are ahead of 99% of the people
in the general public and when it comes to
bipolar disorder, there are so few people that
have written goals, you’ll be way ahead.

WARNING!
Don’t get caught up on how you are going
to accomplish you goals. Just write them down.

I also would recommend that if you find
goal setting tough. Get a good book on
goal setting. You can get them at the library
or in the bookstore. There are a zillion of
them. There are tons that are good. BUT, you
have to read them and do something.

Goal books don’t fall, the people fail
to read them.

Well I have to run. Catch you tomorrow.

PLEASE POST RESPONSES TO THIS EMAIL HERE

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Don’t forget to take a look through the
different programs I’ve put together… each one is designed
to help you with a different area of bipolar disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp

P.P.S. Check out my Free blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.P.S Check out my Free podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com

==>>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==
Check out all my resources, programs and information
for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp

Hi,

Merry Christmas if you celebrate Christmas.

Hope you have a great day today.

I know that I have two groups of people.
Those doing well and those doing not
so well. So I try to write to both.

I received a call this morning from
someone I know will bipolar disorder.
He was VERY depressed. He said
that he was taking his bipolar
medications and following his
treatment plan BUT he had done
so in the last couple of years.

As a result, his wife left him and
he really doesn’t have a lot going on
this holiday.

He is stable and working hard to
do the things he has to do. But it
took his wife leaving and losing
it all to get him to realize what
he has to do.

With that said, we talked and
I basically said that all the can
do is look to the future and learn
from the past. He obviously has
learned the real hard way what happens
when he doesn’t take medication or
take it like it’s suppose to.

I then told him, he can go out,
be a better person and he will find
new friends and possibly a new wife
is he wants. We talked and he felt
better. He is determined to do the
things he is suppose to do from
now on. He said he could of but he just
wasn’t serious before.

I wanted to share that. If you are feeling
down today from past bipolar episodes,
remember your past doesn’t equal your
future. You can turn things around and you
can do it starting today.

In my courses/systems, I talk about how
to turn around bad situations to good
situations no matter if you are a bipolar
supporter or a bipolar survivor:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

I am going to be talking more about some
things you can do to make 2008 a great
year for you in my daily bipolar emails.

But, I can’t do it today because #1 I want
to send out my email about santa and bipolar
disorder and #2, I have to get ready to
go to my parents house. But I will send
this out before the New Year.

Okay, here it is Christmas, and I was
wondering, do you think
Santa Claus has bipolar disorder?

Really, think about it –

One of the biggest symptoms of
having bipolar disorder – mania
is having grandiose ideas, right?

Well, what is more grandiose than
the idea that you can make it around
the world in one night and deliver
toys to every single boy and girl?

🙂

And what’s this about the red suit
thing? He must’ve bought it on
his last manic episode, because only
someone in a manic episode would
think something like that would look
good on them!

🙂

Ok, and what about the reindeer?
He’s talking to these creatures (and
listening to them) and they are
going to “fly” him around the world
in his quest to deliver all those toys,
right? I’d say that is the psychotic
part of bipolar disorder, for sure.

🙂

Yep – delusions and hallucinations
for good ole Santa Clause there!

Now here’s the clincher – the man
goes around all the time saying,
“Ho ho ho,” like who could be
happier! Well, only someone in
a manic episode could be THAT
happy!

🙂

Still don’t believe me? Start
thinking of some of your own,
then.

No doubt, you will come to
believe that Santa Clause has
bipolar disorder, too!

I know I’ve been a little silly
in my email today, but it’s all
in the spirit of the holidays, as
I wish you all a Merry Christmas!

Catch you tomorrow.

Your friend,

Dave
–
P.S. Don’t forget to take a look through the
different programs I’ve put together… each one is designed
to help you with a different area of bipolar disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp

P.P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com

Christmas, Holidays, problems and bipolar disorder

==>>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==
Check out all my resources, programs and information
for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp

Hi,

How’s it going?

Hope you are doing well.

Before I get started, I have gotten
a lot of people asking about the
weight loss program for those with
bipolar disorder and whether it’s still
open.

It is.

If you have bipolar disorder and need to lose
weight, check out:

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/50people/

Okay, I am going to talk about how to handle
problems and bipolar disorder today.

If you are doing well and don’t have problems,
that’s great. I am super happy for you. But,
please bare with me because there are thousands
of people on my list that are struggling
with bipolar disorder whether they are bipolar
supporters or bipolar survivors.

So, if you are doing well, just read this for
future reference.

Yesterday I sent a daily bipolar disorder
email about a woman who had plumbing problems
and how she dealt with it. It’s a great bipolar
lesson. If you missed it, take a look at my blog
below to read it.

Anyway, right after I sent that email, I couldn’t
believe it.

I seriously had like 8 problems of my own.

It was amazing. Problem after problem came
my way.

Then I looked in my email and saw a few people
that were local to me that were dealing with
bipolar disorder are having huge problems.

One of my friend’s wife has bipolar disorder,
filed for divorce and is destroying him
legally (she got a huge inheritance and now
has hired a team of mean lawyers to make his
life a nightmare.)

Then I checked my voicemail and someone
that’s one of my coaching clients left me
a message that his wife’s doctor has vanished
and his wife is going into a major bipolar
episode.

I also have been noticing that people that
had huge problems with bipolar disorder, both
supporters and survivors, in 2005, and
who didn’t have them in 2006 now have them
today. I saw names of people rejoin my mailing
list or get some of my materials that I haven’t
seen in a long time.

Again, so here I was. I had a ton of problems myself
and so did lots of people that I knew who were dealing
with bipolar disorder.

Oh, let me explain what my problems were so
you are clear. They were
all business related NOT related to bipolar
disorder. BUT they were big problems.

I decided to actually pick up the phone and
check on my mom. I was thinking, “Geeze, the
worst thing would be if mom was not doing
well today that would be the worst because
I have all these other issues.”

So I called and she sounded fine and was
actually doing great. I can tell within
a few minutes if she isn’t doing okay
but she sounded okay.

She then told me what time to come over
for Christmas.

I was relieved.

This entire time, I was thinking, “well at
least she is doing great, it could be way
worse, she could be in a major bipolar
episode along with all these other issues
I have to deal with. But she wasn’t.”

So I was sitting at my desk thinking, “I can’t
believe it’s Sunday and I have to deal with
all this. It’s not fair.”

Then I caught myself and said, “what a loser
attitude I have.”

Then I was like, “well you’re really tired
because you stayed up late last night, so
it’s okay to have a loser attitude for just
a few minutes. But only a few minutes.”

This is seriously what I was thinking. Some
people ask me if I write is true. It is. But
when I write how I think, I run the risk of people
thinking I am out of my mind because I write
exactly what I think so that others can learn
from it and say, “hey, I think just like that
so I am not crazy.”

Anyway, after a few minutes of complaining
to myself and having a “loser attitude”, I
decided to take action.

I’ll tell you what I did and how it relates
to bipolar disorder in a second.

The first thing I did was get up, get something
to eat. Something light. I actually had a shake.
Like I always do. You can’t fight the good fight
on an empty stomach.

Then I started to think to myself, “Today is going
to turn out fine, I’ve dealt with worse and I can
handle it.”

Then I made a comprehensive list of all the problems
that I was facing and organized them in most important
to least important. I then looked for problems that
didn’t require immediate attention and maybe would
work themselves out.

Then I looked at each one and started to think
of a solution. I also contacted people who
worked for me for help coming up with a solution.
For problems with no immediate solution,
I skipped them and had faith that something
would happen that would fix or work it out.

Then I took action and worked to implement the
solutions.

Then I called the people that had problems that
were related to bipolar disorder and told them
how I handle problems. I worked with them to
brainstorm solutions. We did.

It took several hours and it wasn’t the most
fun I have had on a Sunday but when it was all
said and done. I resolved most of my problems
and so did everyone who contacted me.

Then I was thinking how many people on my list
have problems today with bipolar disorder and how
many will handle it in the following way:

-get mad
-think it’s not fair (like I started to in my story
above)
-Not try to think of solutions
-Not take any actions on any potential solutions
-Give up
-Not ask for help
-Not seek out any information that can help
-Think there is no possible solution

We use to think like that with my mom’s bipolar
disorder. Actually for many most of my life.

But I am here to tell you, you can get through
even the worst of times when dealing with
bipolar disorder.

Remember when it comes to bipolar disorder:

No problems are really unique. Others have
gotten through with the same or far worse problems

There’s always a solution even if there appears
to be no solution apparent.

You can’t just do nothing and believe your
problems will go away

Don’t beat yourself up for making a mistake
that you don’t think you should have made

If you get my courses/systems below:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

You’ll notice that I have solutions to many
of the problems you have for bipolar
disorder. Several people have said to
me, “I can’t believe how well your stuff
works.”

Why? Well it’s because I use my own stuff. I had
to use it. Because I am really dealing with
bipolar disorder. My mom really has it.
And when it comes to the material on
bipolar disorder, it’s the result of a ton
of research and putting together solutions
based on how real people deal with real
issues that have bipolar disorder.

I think however the number one most important
thing about dealing with bipolar disorder problems
is your attitude. I remember reading things
in books on success saying that attitude is
so important. I remember thinking that it was
such a lame thing to think. But these days,
I totally believe it.

People with a positive, can do, it can be
fixed, it can be conquered, I can beat bipolar
disorder, wind up handling things and coming
out on top. People who have a horrible attitude
don’t.

Now that I have so many people on my mailing list
and know so many people who are dealing with
bipolar disorder, I can honestly say this is the
case.

Okay well I have to go. I actually still have
to get one more gift today and I have a bunch
of work to do.

Catch you tomorrow morning on Christmas. Have
a great day and don’t eat too much.

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Don’t forget to take a look through the
different programs I’ve put together… each one is designed
to help you with a different area of bipolar disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp

P.P.S. Check out my Free blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.P.S Check out my Free podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com

==>>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==
Check out all my resources, programs and information
for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp

Hi,

I wanted to share this email I got, because
this woman talks about a real important
point I want to talk to you about.

Dear Dave,
I want to tell you about something that
happened to me. We recently had a really
bad plumbing problem, that was going to be
really, really expensive to fix, way more
money than we had in our savings account.
We just didn’t know what to do. My first
reaction was to just sit there and cry and cry.

All I wanted to do was go to bed and pull
the covers over my head and pretend that
the problem would go away by itself. It
honestly felt like my bipolar disorder was
talking to me and telling me to do that!

But then I remembered something you
said in one of your emails and in your
course. You said we had to stand up to
our bipolar disorder, and not let it get the
best of us. You talked about how it might
seem sometimes like the disorder would
actually “talk” to us, like it was an entity
of its own! Well, that’s exactly what I
felt like!

So I stood up to it, and I didn’t go up to
bed. We checked with a few friends, and
found a couple guys who could fix the
problem without charging us, so all we
had to do was pay for parts, which was
less than we had in savings!

So thanks to you for reminding me that
I could stand up to bipolar disorder like
it was outside of me, and I could solve
a problem without panicking and it
could work out – I didn’t have to
hide from it.
—————————-

Let me tell you something. This
woman really encourages me – I
hope she encourages you, too. It’s
nice to know that something I said in
my emails and courses helped her,
because I know that in my courses I
do teach about standing up to bipolar
disorder and not letting it get the best
of you:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

The important thing is NOT to panic!
Try to reason out what to do in the
situation. I know it sounds crazy, but
it IS true that sometimes you can actually
“hear” your bipolar talk to you – this
woman isn’t the only one I’ve had to
tell me the same thing.

The point is, that if your bipolar had
its way, it would make you give up at
the first sign of a problem. Then you
would always remain low functioning
and supporters would always be burned
out.

The other point I wanted to make was
like the woman in the email said –
being honest, that at first she did cry.
It’s ok to react honestly – you don’t
have to pretend to be superman or
superwoman. It’s ok to have regular
human emotions! You don’t have to
assume you are automatically going
into a bipolar episode!

So you can react normally, as long as
you don’t panic. Then you can think of
what to do. Try to ignore what your
bipolar is telling you to do. Fight it!

A friend of mine uses an expression
called “doing the next right thing.”
Try to do that when faced with a
problem like this lady had. Don’t let
the bipolar tell you that you are
defeated, just because the problem
seems bigger than you are.

Try to stay positive, don’t panic, and
look for a solution to your problem.
Sometimes it will mean asking someone
else for help – which is something that
bipolar usually doesn’t want you to do,
is it?

If the disorder had its way, most
of you would be isolated. So it’s hard
to fight that. But you can do it! If you
share your problem, you can usually
find help in solving it. Use this lady’s
story as a positive example.

Well, I’ve got to go. Think about this,
so that the next time you’re faced
with a seemingly impossible situation,
you won’t panic and let the bipolar get
the best of you!

Your friend,

Dave
–
P.S. Don’t forget to take a look through the
different programs I’ve put together… each one is designed
to help you with a different area of bipolar disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp

P.P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com

==>>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==
Check out all my resources, programs and information
for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp

Hi,

How’s it going?

I got up at 4:30am this morning
because I couldn’t sleep.

I have a really important bipolar
disorder lesson today.

First I wanted to remind everyone
that if you have bipolar disorder
and need to lose weight, please
take a look at this page.

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/50people/

I have been working non stop over
the last week because I have so
many deadlines for things.

Many of my businesses have all
these reports that have to be done
in December.

Second, I have a really funny story to
tell you about someone I know and
how there is a huge lesson for
those supporting someone with
bipolar disorder.

Let me tell you a story.

I know this kid (actually he is 25
so I guess he’s not a kid).

He never has a girlfriend because he
does and says the strangest things
when he is trying to get a girlfriend.

For example, he went to a new job and
he was working with a girl who was like
20. She was good looking. One of the first
things he said to her was, “Did you see
that special on TV about serial killers last
night.”

She thought of him as a “freak” from that point
forward. He asked me why I thought that was, “I
tried hard to break it down to him and he finally
got it.”

He did say to me, “It was a really interesting special,
I thought she might have seen it.”

Anyway, his strategies for getting a girlfriend
are legendarily dumb.

He does stuff and then he asks for feedback
second. It doesn’t make any sense. He should
get feedback first and then take action.

Anyway, yesterday, my one friend comes up to me in
the gym and says, “Dude, did
you hear about Mike?” (NOTE-I changed
his name.)

I said, “no, I didn’t?” He said,
“Dude, can you believe what he said
to Lisa?”

NOTE-My one friend uses the word
dude about 30 times an hour.

I was like, “what did he say?” He
said, “Dude, he like interviewed
her to try to ask her out.”

He was laughing and laughing. He
was all excited.

I was totally confused. Then he went on
to say how Mike tried to ask Lisa out
and asked her questions like:

“What kind of activities do you enjoy?”

“Where do you see yourself in the future?”

“What are your favorite hobbies and interests?”

“How many children would you like to have?”

“What do you find favorable in a boyfriend?”

“What are some of your likes and dislikes?”

My friend said, “dude, he asked them one after
another…dude, one by one…dude can
you believe it. He’s so stupid!!!!”

I started laughing.

NOTE-
I know people are going to write me and
say that I should be laughing, I should help
him out, blah, blah, blah. Come on, this is
funny. Read those lines, it’s crazy 🙂

Who the heck says “what kind of activities do
you enjoy?” Doesn’t that sound like something
that would be in some kind of test.

I said, “come on, did he seriously say this?”

My friend said, “Dude, I am serious, he said
those exact words. Dude, no joke, dude.” Then
my friend told about 1000 other people in the
gym and laughed for like a hour.

NOTE-Isn’t it funny how many times he
uses the word dude?

I was amazed that someone would say stuff
like this and expect a woman to go out with him.

So I asked another friend of mine in the gym and
she said that he had been reading a cheesy book on
“relationships” and had memorized all the lines
and simply said them one after another. She said
that he knew at least 22.

She also told me that the book said he should
“maximize the number of woman he approaches.”
According to my friend, he went from one girl to the next
reciting the same lines and questions. One
after another. Amazing.

I was speaking to this girl who I was friends
with and talked about how crazy this was
and how it made no sense. How it was so unnatural.
How if you needed 22 lines to talk to a girl and
ask her out, there was something wrong. She
totally agreed.

In addition, I found out that he also had
ways to keep a conversation going and get a
girlfriend to stay with him.

According to some sources, he had more than 40
things he had to say and do to make this
all work????

I was amazed. I had never heard of something
so crazy before.

What the heck does this have to do with bipolar
disorder?

Good question.

As I walked on the treadmill and thought about
all of this, I was thinking about bipolar
disorder and this important lesson.

People come to me all the time. They want
to know the 7 or 3 magic things they
need to know to live with someone who
is unstable with bipolar disorder.

It’s a really strange question.

Why would you want to learn how to live
with someone who is unstable with bipolar
disorder?

Should the goal be to live with someone
who stable with bipolar disorder?

Here’s what I have to say. If you find
yourself walking on egg shells with a loved
one with bipolar disorder; if you find
yourself having to memorize lines as to what
to say and not say; if you find yourself
not being able to have “normal” and “natural”
conversations with someone with bipolar disorder,
this is wrong. This is a sign the person is not
stable.

Too many people try to figure out how to permanently
live with someone who is not stable.

It’s kind of strange. Many people almost give
up and say, “Well so and so is never going to
get better. I just resign myself to living
with them and have to figure out how to deal
with it.”

My dad use to think like this. My mom would go
into bipolar episodes and he would just put up
with it. He wouldn’t focus on getting her
better treatment.

When I started becoming my mom’s main supporter,
this all stopped.

If my mom wasn’t doing well, the goal became
getting her treatment plan modified so she could
do well.

She appreciates this. Imagine if YOU had a disorder
and you were difficult to live with, would you want
someone to try to get you help so you were easy
to live with? Of course you would.

The bottom line is, the goal should be getting a person
into treatment.

If you need help getting someone into treatment
with bipolar disorder, or getting yourself treatment
because you just feel that you are not right
take a look at my courses/systems below:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

Does this make sense?

Maybe it doesn’t.

Let me try to be clearer.

What I am saying is this, I strongly believe
that you should NOT have to walk on egg shells
and memorize all these lines to be able to
talk to someone with bipolar disorder.

If you find yourself in this situation, this
means your loved one probably is not stable.

It’s like the kid in the gym. I personally
believe if you need 40 different questions/lines
to be able to talk to and have a girlfriend,
there is something really wrong.

Just like there is something wrong
if: you have to not say these 40 things
to someone with bipolar disorder; you can’t
go in this part of the house; you can’t ask
this question about finances; or you can’t
do this or that, this is a big problem.

Many people live like this on my list
because they are not focused on getting their
loved one into treatment.

There is this one guy that I know. He was
working with him trying to help him out.
What I am about to say sounds insane.

Anyway he told me, and I took notes, that
in order to live with his wife, who was
NOT on medication most of the time,
and had bipolar disorder:

-He never could ask any questions about money.
-She had to be in control of the money
-He could never ask her where she was going
-He had to believe everything she said
-He had to sleep on the couch
-He had to always agree with her
-He had to admit that he was the problem
2-4 times a day
-He had to be able to be hit a few times a week

and a few other things.

He called these things, “The Rules.”

It sounds like I am making this up but
it’s true. He had been doing this for so long,
he didn’t even realize it didn’t make sense.

He was really proud that he found out all
these things that he could do to “keep his
marriage together” for “the kids.”

After working with me, he went all out and
focused on getting his wife into treatment. It
took like 7 months. Now she is doing well. But
prior to talking to me, he lived like this for
years and years and years.

Well I have to run and head off to the
good old gym. Who knows what funny things
that I will hear today. The gyms I
go to are full of funny people with funny
stories many of which lead to lots of
bipolar disorder lessons?

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Don’t forget to take a look through the
different programs I’ve put together… each one is designed
to help you with a different area of bipolar disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp

P.P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com