=>PLEASE FORWARD TO FRIENDS, FAMILY AND LOVED ONES <=
How’s it going?
I am dead tired. Why? Well last night
I had to volunteer and it went on for
hours and hours and hours.
It ended really late and I didn’t get home
until like 11:30pm and then I had a bunch
of stuff todo.
As I sat listening to last night’s speaker,
I was kind of getting annoyed. Why?
Well the speaker was a person with bipolar
disorder but spent 95% of the time talking
about how much of her was a nightmare.
I didn’t understand it because she is
successful now. She has her own business,
she is a writer, has a family, etc.
BUT, she never spoke about:
-How she started her own business
-Coping strategies for dealing with bipolar disorder
-How she explained bipolar disorder to her kids
-How she works with her doctor
-Ways that she gets to sleep when she can’t
-What were the exact keys to her success
-How often she sees a therapist
-How she was able to raise little kids with bipolar disorder
-How she was able to graduate college and get other post graduate
The entire thing turned into this. It’s like
bipolar took over the room and then people in
the room started telling their bipolar horror
stories oh how bad it is or how bad they
have had it.
There were many bipolar supporters sitting
in the audience looking depressed.
I started to feel depressed. I heard about
horrible depression, gigantic manic episodes
and also how almost there’s not a lot of hope.
After this was presented, several bipolar supporters
raised their hands with questions like:
Can my son/daughter be normal?
Can my son/daughter go to college?
Can my loved one be happy ever?
Is there hope for my loved one
The entire thing really turned so negative
that so many supporters wound up being
worried that there loved one was DOOMED.
I leaned over to a person that also volunteers
and I was like, “Is this really negative or
what?” He was like, “Yea, it is.”
I said, “Why don’t we have at least 50/50? 50%
negative and 50% positive.” He said, “Yea it
should be that way.”
There was really no message of hope delivered.
I noticed that many bipolar supporters were
really uncomfortable and had that “wow,
there’s not a lot of hope, this is a horrible
disorder that will just doom my loved one.”
Here’s the deal. Bipolar support groups
are okay. Some are better than others.
Some are more positive than others. Many however
are just places people go and complain and
I want you to remember this if you are
a bipolar supporter and going to a support
group. The most successful people generally
do NOT, and I repeat, do NOT go to these
They are home making it happen and don’t.
Want to hear something crazy? Well out of
every person that is high functioning
that works for me that has bipolar disorder,
ZERO, go to support groups.
Also, I can only think of one bipolar success
story that I interviewed in the last THREE
years that regularly go to a support group
to give back and teach.
These are just the facts. I know that I will
get some people who are mad that I said this
but these are the facts. There is a book
written by a girl where she goes across the
country looking for successful people with
bipolar disorder. She doesn’t find as many
as she thought. Why? well she is looking
in the wrong spot.
I spend a TON and I mean a TON of money
to find successful people with bipolar
disorder. You don’t find them in support
Bipolar supporters have to realize this
and not go to these meetings and then think
that their loved one is doomed because
they don’t see successful people at
Finally, I am solution and strategy driven.
Many of these groups are not. You just
have to realize that.
A question was asked:
“My son is resistant to treatment and doesn’t
want any. What can we do?”
No one gave this lady who asked the question
an answer. They said things like, “have faith.”
There are things that you can do. There’s
lots of them.
People just don’t know.
In my courses/systems below:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
I outline over 22 techniques. How did I come
up with these? Well I invented and used
like about 7 myself. And then I spend about
$50,000 to build a mailing list and then
survey people on the list for the best methods.
I then compiled the results and listed techniques
that were successfully used by at least 5 different
I also interviewed the people who came up with
the technique for further clarification.
That’s why my list is a good one. It was a big
But people last that meeting thinking that there
is no way.
I don’t say a lot at these meetings. I ask some soft
ball questions (ones that are easy to answer).
I don’t feel it’s appropriate to challenge speakers
unless they are doctors or therapists. Even if
they do, I rarely do. I heard one doctor say
basically a person with bipolar disorder can’t
really be in a job that requires responsibility.
I just rolled my eyes. So I guess that means
that all the people that I have working for me
with bipolar disorder shouldn’t be working
Even though I don’t have bipolar disorder,
I take personal offense when someone says
this kind of thing.
a) because they are insulting people
who are my friends
b) they are insulting me because I hire
people with bipolar disorder
c) they are causing people to think negatively
of people with bipolar disorder
d) they are saying stupid things that cause
people to not reach their full potential. I remember
as a kid one teacher that told me that I would not
amount to anything. That I was dumb and that I would
never do well in school.
I will never forget when she
said it to me. I can tell you exactly where I was
in school, what the day was like, what I was
wearing and what she was wearing. I felt like
NOTE-I actually tracked this teacher down, of course,
and reminded her about what she said. She couldn’t
seem to remember and said she always knew that I would
do well. Yea sure.
SECOND NOTE-I had another teacher Mrs. Nesnay
that told me the opposite. She told me
I was super smart and gifted. I now know she
was making it up 🙂 but it sounded good
at the time.
She told me that if I do something to always
do it big and as best I can. Actually I will
say this. It was her that caused me to want
to do well in school and always do well
Whenever I do something I seriously have it
programmed to do it big and grand. Just like
this bipolar stuff. This is an extension of
the principles that Mrs. Nesnay the great
teacher instilled in me.
I tracked her down as well and she was
really happy to see me. I told her if she
ever needed anything anytime to call and
I would get it done. She is a great person.
WARNING! You have to be really careful when
you are a bipolar supporter not to destroy or
crush your loved one’s hopes and dreams. You
want them to be stable but you can’t
put so many constraints on them that they
stop learning and progressing.
Some bipolar supporters say, “We are never
going to have an episode like this again
and I am going to micromanage your life
so it doesn’t happen. You’ll never do
this, that and the other thing.” This is
so important that I am going to be talking about
this in upcoming articles and podcasts.
I have met many a bipolar supporter who
does this and many speakers that talk about
At these meetings I don’t ever correct
speakers or speak over them so to speak.
For example, I didn’t rattle off 15 to 22
ways to help get a loved one into
treatment. I didn’t feel that would be
A long time ago, I made the decision that
I would not do this and I would just keep
my mouth shut and just volunteer.
So I setup chairs, hand out literature,
answer questions if I am asked them directly,
move tables around in one place.
There’s another support group that is
incredible that is much more upbeat and
way more productive.
Anyway, this one has been like defunded
and there were very few meetings for 2007.
Sad but true.
There isn’t one planned for at least the
next 4 months. They have a super small
get together every week with about 8 people
but that’s it.
I guess they are running out of money. I am
not sure. The other place I volunteer is okay
but it’s a little too negative for me as well.
BUT, I still go and volunteer and have now
for years. Many people who work for me ask
why I go because they think it’s a waste of
The one good thing it does is it allows me
to talk person to person to see what problems
and issues people have with bipolar disorder and
also not to lose touch with it so then I can
come up with new podcasts, articles, ebooks,
books, guides, courses, manuals, etc.
You know what? I think that I am going to
put on my list of things to do to write a
f.ree guide on how to run a support
group and also how to market it. Don’t even
get me started on the marketing end.
Did I ever tell you about the support group
I volunteered at that had incredible and I mean
incredible speakers AND food but only 18 people
in attendance. Keep in mind there are 9 million
people in New Jersey and millions more in the
states next to Jersey.
They told me that the didn’t have money to
market or know how to do it? I told them
that I would do ALL the marketing for them,
and pay for it. They said, “well let’s see
if we can get approval for that.” That was
three years ago, I guess they are still working
on the approval.
Bottom line is this. If you are a bipolar
supporter, realize what you are getting when
you go to these support groups. Don’t get
discouraged if you don’t see success.
I wanted to send this email so you know
the real deal.
Hey I have to run, I will catch you tomorrow.
P.S. Want your own copy of these daily bipolar
emails sent to you for F.ree? If so, visit:
P.P.S. Don’t forget to take a look through the
different programs I’ve put together… each one is designed
to help you with a different area of bipolar disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
P.P.P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
P.P.P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.