Hi,

Do you know a complainer? Someone who always complains about their situation and their problems, but doesn’t seem to have any solutions for them? Do you know a blamer? I think they’re related to complainers, to tell you the truth. They blame their situation and all their problems on something else (or someone). These two types of people are REAL people! I know, I’ve met them at bipolar support group meetings. They will complain about their problems with their loved one. They will even complain about their loved one themselves. And/or they will blame all their problems on bipolar disorder. Or, worse yet, on their loved one. There’s one thing that these two types of people definitely are NOT. And that is solution-oriented. That’s what you need to be.

Being solution-oriented means that you don’t complain or blame. You take responsibility. You look for solutions. You even look “outside the box” sometimes for answers. It means that you are willing. Willing to admit you don’t know the solution right now, but you sure will look for one.

You are willing to try different solutions, too, to see what works and what doesn’t work. Like your loved one may have to do with their medications. They may have to try different ones to see which ones will work for them. Being solution-oriented means that you will not always end up on the popular side of an opinion. But you stick to your guns and do what’s right for YOUR loved one and family anyway.

You must be motivated as well. See…Complainers and blamers just sit around giving “lip service” to what they say. They don’t look for or offer any real solution to their situation or problem. They are lazy. Solving problems can be hard work. But it’s worth it in the end. Say you look at a problem that you and/or your loved one have and you look for ways to solve it. You may come across a totally off-the-wall way to solve it, and do that. It may not be the easiest thing to do…It may not be what someone else would do…But it WORKS for YOU! So you stay solution-oriented.

Being solution-oriented also means that you look at a problem every way that you can. Then you look at solutions every way that you can. The answer to your problems may not be obvious, but if you keep looking, you will find them. There have been times when I have come up with a solution that other people thought was impossible, or the wrong thing to do, but it worked.

Well, I have to go!

 

Your Friend,

 

Dave

 

Hi,

Have you seen this show called “Undercover Boss” yet? It’s on cable TV. Well…On this show, the CEO or boss of a company puts on a disguise and goes undercover in his/her own company to try to find out what’s really going on behind the scenes. It’s amazing what some people will say when they don’t know they’re talking to the boss! But the CEO/boss does this so that they can stay on top of things. Do you know how the smartest people know so much? They stay on top of things. Do you know how the richest people stay rich? They stay on top of things. Do you know how the most successful people stay so successful? They stay on top of things, too. That’s the secret for all of these people: Staying on top of things. But it’s a secret that you can learn, too. You need to stay on top of things.

With information so plentiful, it should be easy to stay on top of the news and latest research on bipolar disorder. But you have to make the effort, and you have to take the responsibility. Anything new that you can learn might help your loved one to get better, you never know. So stay on top of things. Stay in contact with your loved one’s medical and mental health professionals. Make sure there is a signed Medical Release of Information form on file at all of them, giving them permission to talk to you. Then periodically “check up” on your loved one to see how they think your loved one is really doing. This is especially important if you notice that your loved one is behaving differently from their normal self. How will you know? Well, you’ll have to stay on top of things.

Be observant of your loved one’s behavior, so that you can tell at the first sign of any kind of irrational behavior as soon as it starts. Especially if your loved one is hallucinating or having delusions. These are easy enough to spot. As their supporter, it is your responsibility to stay on top of things when it comes to your loved one. Because you know them best…And because you know so much about bipolar disorder…And if you stay on top of things…You could very well mean the difference between them being treated at home or in the hospital.

If you can catch an episode before it begins or even as it first starts, you can get your loved one the help they need before they go into a full-blown bipolar episode. You just have to stay on top of things. Stay on top of their medications, too. Keep a watch on whether they are still effective or not. This is important. Because some medications reach a level where they are no longer effective. At that point, the medication needs to be changed. And you can help spot this if you stay on top of things.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

 

Dave

 

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews621/

Measuring Functionality In Depression and Bipolar Disorder
DO> Will this influence your opinion on functionality?

Signs of Bipolar Disorder
DO> Do you know these signs?

What is bipolar disorder?
DO> Are you familiar with this basic information?

No Going Back: A Hard Look At Bipolar Disorder
DO> Review about a book you’ll want to read.

How do happiness and sadness circuits contribute to bipolar disorder?
DO> Interesting study.

Obesity not linked to bipolar disorder course
DO> You might find their findings surprising.

Cannabis use may worsen illness course in bipolar disorder
DO> You’ll find these study results interesting.

Lawyer says her experience with bipolar disorder is reason for appointment to …
DO> Do you think this is fair?

Police Searching For Missing Man Suffering From Bipolar Disorder
DO> Isn’t this a shame?

More Evidence Brain’s Emotion Circuitry Disrupted in Bipolar Disorder
DO> This is obviously and not news don’t you think?

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews621/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

 

Dave

 

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews622/

Family: woman arrested after suspected arson has mental illness
DO> Read about this woman’s surprising story.

Befriending Bipolar Disorder: BipolarLab eBuddy Program!
DO> Would you be interested in this program?

Learning to live with bipolar disorder
DO> You’ll appreciate this man’s honesty about his disorder.

A few basics about bipolar disorder
DO> Interesting interview about the basics of bipolar.

Tell tale neurologic soft signs for schizophrenia and bipolar disorder
DO> Interesting study.

Neural clues found for impaired emotional response in bipolar disorder
DO> You’ll find this study very interesting.

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews622/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

 

Dave

 

Hi,

I heard the saddest story about bipolar disorder the other day. This girl had bipolar disorder, and she went off her medication. She was stable on her medication, and was even going to see her therapist and psychiatrist regularly. She was ok for awhile, but then she started to get unstable, and then went into an episode. Then she committed suicide. The thing is, it’s not that I’m immune to hearing stories like this – I’m not, I still feel sad every time I hear one – it’s just that I hear so many of these stories, and I’m not surprised, because I know that 1 in 5 people who go off their medications are probably going to kill themselves.

But anyway, about this girl. When they talked to her friends and family, and asked them why she killed herself, they said that she had been telling them that she was feeling very overwhelmed by

everything lately. So that made me start thinking about something I want to talk to you about today. Feeling overwhelmed. Whether you have bipolar disorder or not, you can still feel overwhelmed sometimes. But there are things you can do about it. I know this may sound corny or over-used, but take things One Day at a Time. You take things as they come – you don’t dwell on the past, and you don’t worry about the future. You just deal with today.

Many people can’t handle more than just this one day (many people choose not to). Some people can’t even handle that, and have to do it one hour at a time (or one moment at a time).

And that’s ok, too. You can build from there. With bipolar disorder, I call it: One Bipolar Step at a Time. I got the idea from this movie I watched once with Bill Murray in it called “What About Bob?” where Richard Dreyfuss played this psychiatrist who was treating Bill Murray for these really big fears about everything. I mean, this guy was afraid to get out of the elevator and walk into his office! He was so overwhelmed by everything. So the whole idea of the movie was this concept called “Baby Steps.” He taught him how to do everything one step at a time, or by doing everything in baby steps, and building up from there. And eventually Bill Murray’s character was able to overcome his fears and not be so overwhelmed by everything anymore.

It was a funny movie, but you could take a lesson from it.

So…One Bipolar Step at a Time The idea is not to do too much, or you’ll be overwhelmed. For example, say you’re keeping a To-Do List as part of how you’re staying productive. If you have too many things on that list, and you don’t get them all done today, that might overwhelm you.

Instead, make a smaller list, and you won’t feel so overwhelmed. In fact, by completing the things on your list, you’ll feel a sense of accomplishment at the end of the day. Then, in steps, as you can, you can add more things to your list.

Another example would be if you wanted to go back to work (first of all, I would advise not doing this without your doctor’s okay). In order not to be overwhelmed, start with a small, part-

time job with just a few hours a week. Don’t try to tackle a full-time job right away. It may be more than you can handle, and do you more harm than good. If being productive is what you’re worried about, set a long-term goal, and then your One Bipolar One Step at a Time would consist of the short-term goals you would set and take to reach that long-term goal. You can do the same thing with projects. You would decide on a big project you want to do, then do it a little bit at a time, like the long-term and short-term goal idea. If you’re wanting to learn how to take on more responsibility as part of managing your bipolar disorder, then start with smaller responsibilities (One Bipolar Step at a Time), so you don’t get too overwhelmed, and then build to larger responsibilities. If you’re in a bipolar support group, you don’t start with running the group right away, you start with setting up the coffee, see what I mean?

Now, here’s my biggest point with the One Bipolar Step at a Time idea: If you’ve been in an episode, and now find that you have consequences to pay as a result of things you did while you were in that episode, you might be feeling very overwhelmed by it. Take it One Bipolar Step at a Time. This is very important to your stability. If you have people to ask forgiveness from and relationships to repair, take it one person at a time. If there are consequences to pay (like paying traffic tickets, for example), do them one at a time.

Well, I have to go!

 

Your Friend,

 

Dave

 

Hi,

You know, some things are to be expected in life. Like in winter, you can expect that people are going to get the flu. You can expect that if you work at a job, that you will get a paycheck. (and, at some point, you can even expect that you will get a raise.) You can expect that if you pay your rent or mortgage, you will have a house to live in. (You can also expect that at some point, you will have to make repairs to that house, however.) Same with your car – You can expect that if you keep up the payments, you will have a car to drive. (You can also expect that at some point, you will have to make repairs to that car, however.)

Well, it’s the same with bipolar disorder. You can expect certain things when your loved one has the disorder. On the one hand, if they are doing what they should be doing to attain stability, then you can expect that they will get stable. On the other hand, if they are not doing the right things, you can expect that they will not get stable. But let’s just concentrate on the positive side of things. If your loved one is taking their medication like they’re supposed to, you can expect that the medication will work and help them become stable. If they are going to all their appointments – doctor, psychiatrist, and therapist – then you can expect there to be progress there. If they are eating right, you can expect them to be healthy. If they are exercising, you can expect that they will stay in shape physically. If they are sticking to a good sleep schedule, then you can expect that they will have good days, without the mania from lack of sleep.

Unfortunately, sometimes you don’t always get what you expect. Bipolar disorder is just sneaky like that. Your loved one could be doing everything right and still go into an episode. So you can expect that with bipolar disorder, there will be setbacks. If your loved one is keeping a journal and/or a daily mood chart, however, you can most likely see the pattern as it approaches so you can avoid a full blown episode. However, if your loved one does go into an episode, you should know what to expect then, as well, because you’ve experienced it in the past. You can expect that they are going to exhibit certain behaviors, like they have before. Which actually gives you an advantage, because what they’ve done before, they will do again, and you can be prepared.

If you do what you need to do as far as being a supporter to your loved one, then you can expect that they will feel that support. If you keep the lines of communication open between the two of you, for example, you can expect that your loved one will, indeed, come to you and tell you when they are not “feeling right.” And if you take care of yourself…As in making sure you are balanced physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually…You can expect that you won’t suffer from the supporter burnout that too many supporters fall prey to. And if enough time has passed, and your loved one has continued to take their medication, see their therapist, and do the other things they need to do to attain stability…You can expect that they will, indeed, someday be stable.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

 

Dave

 

Hi,

I was talking to this supporter the other day, and he shared some feelings with me that I wanted to share with you, because you might be feeling the same way.

He said: “I’m sick and tired of everything I read and everywhere I hear telling me that my wife’s behavior is not her fault just because she’s got bipolar disorder. I think that’s just an excuse for unacceptable behavior. I’m not saying it’s her fault, necessarily, but I do think she needs to take responsibility for her behavior, for her actions. I don’t think I should just lie down and take it just because she’s got bipolar disorder.”

I think he brings up a good point. Should you have to just “take” your loved one’s behavior “lying down” just because they’ve got bipolar disorder and not do anything about it? Maybe you feel like this man does, like your loved one is “getting away with it” if you do. Well…I agree that your loved one should take responsibility for their behavior. I think that bipolar disorder does have something to do with their behavior, like with the impulsivity, for example. But I also think at some point they can make choices about their behavior. And I believe this because I did an interview one time with a woman who has bipolar disorder, and she told me so. She said that when she was in a manic episode it was like she knew that her behavior was wrong, she just didn’t care. She said she just kept making bad choices. That tells me that there is an element of choice involved there somewhere. And that your loved one can take responsibility for their behavior and their actions and not just use their bipolar disorder as an excuse for them.

Here’s an example of how someone was able to do that: There’s a man whose wife has bipolar disorder. And when she goes into a manic episode, she spends money like it’s going out of style.

He wanted his wife to start taking responsibility for her behavior, so he told her if she did it again, he would take away all her money, and she wouldn’t be able to buy anything anymore.

So guess what? The next time she spent money excessively, he took away all her money. And she wasn’t able to buy anything. At first she complained about it…And her husband explained over and over that it was because of her behavior that it had happened, and a choice she had made to spend the money. He reminded her that she needed to take responsibility for her behavior. After a few times, she stopped spending money excessively, because she didn’t want all her money taken away from her.

Here’s another example: There was a woman whose husband would fly into really bad rages because of his bipolar disorder. She told him that every time he went into a rage, that she was just going to ignore him, because she wanted him to take responsibility for his behavior.

The next time he flew into a rage, she completely ignored him. And the next time. And the time after that. Eventually her husband took responsibility for his behavior and stopped going into rages and talked to her about his feelings of anger instead.

You see…The bipolar disorder may cause your loved one to initially start the unwanted behavior…But if they don’t like or want the consequences associated with that behavior, they can stop the behavior.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

 

Dave

 

 

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews620/

POST-TRAGEDY, DEALING WITH THE STIGMA OF BIPOLAR DISORDER
DO> Check out this woman’s son’s story.

Conductor with bipolar disorder on music and mental illness
DO> You’ll enjoy this interesting video.

Experimental drug may help people with bipolar disorder
DO> Would you take this drug?

ADHD symptoms may influence bipolar disorder course
DO> You need to know this information if your loved one has ADHD.

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews620/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

 

Dave

Hi,

Recently I had to write a complaint to Hewlitt-Packard about a printer I’d gotten from them that gave me all kinds of problems. I even had problems with their customer service, and I wanted them to know about that. Well, this is what I have learned over the years: You have to take really good notes with names, dates and times, and what happened in case you need to lodge a complaint about it later on. You use these notes to explain your situation or cause to other higher ups, whatever the problem. With bipolar disorder, many things come up where frankly you wind up dealing with organizations that are filled with dumb people. The dumb people mislead. They give you a hard time. They lie. They work against you. Sometimes you might even feel stigmatized. You then have to go to a supervisor, or that supervisor’s supervisor with all the facts that you have. Once the higher ups see that you have details on what has been done, they normally relent and get you what you need or do what you need.

This is especially important in relation to your loved one’s medical and mental health care. What if your doctor’s secretary was rude to you or your loved one, for example? Well, you would write down their name, the date, time, and exactly what happened. And you would do it right then, while it’s fresh in your mind. Don’t you think this is something your doctor would want to know?

After all, the receptionist is the first person representing your doctor to his/her patients. So then you would pass it on to the office manager, or the receptionist’s supervisor, whoever that is. Keeping a copy of this record, if you still don’t feel that you’ve gotten relief, you take it up to the next level. See how it goes?

What if you have a doctor, psychiatrist, or therapist and they aren’t the best? Or if you feel that your loved one isn’t getting the right treatment, or the best treatment that they should be getting?

What would you do? Well, you would start taking notes. And you would go through the same procedure as above. Only you might have to go all the way to the Medical Board. (and, of course, you may have to switch doctors).

Now, what if your loved one has to be hospitalized? What if you had to wait an unusually long time in the waiting room, while they were in crisis with a bipolar episode? This is where it is especially important to take down the person’s name (and other information, too) because your loved one probably shouldn’t be having to wait in an Emergency Room waiting room if they are in that kind of condition. They should at least be waiting in the back where they don’t have to be dealing with a lot of people. But you should find out the laws in your own state and the policies in that particular hospital to find out what you can do.

So, do you see how important record keeping can be? Now, I mentioned back in the beginning about feeling stigmatized. This is where record keeping can be important as well. If you feel as if you or your loved one were treated “less than” or any different than someone else just because you or they have bipolar disorder, the person who treated you that way should be reported to a higher up, so they don’t do it to the next person. As long as you have a name (and also get the name of their supervisor), date, phone number, details of what happened, and any other information you feel is important, you can do something about it. You don’t have to feel helpless.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

 

Dave

 

Hi,

Did you know that 20% of people that have bipolar disorder kill themselves? That’s 1 in 5 people! That’s a staggering statistic, when you think about it. And that’s not just my say-so, that’s according to the National Institute on Mental Health, a national statistic. And I bet a lot of those suicides occur after the holidays, too. That’s when a lot of people with bipolar disorder tend to fall into a depression. That’s because they got so “high,” or manic, during the holidays.

That can be a big problem for people with bipolar disorder.

Like this one blogger says:

“I hate the holidays. I mean, I don’t hate the holidays per se, I just hate holiday time, because I really have to watch myself. That’s when my bipolar can really get out of hand. I get so excited because of all the excitement of the holidays, what with the decorations, and busyness in the stores and malls and all around and all. You see all the commercials on TV and you’re just reminded everywhere you turn that the holidays are here. It’s just this one time of the year, but it’s such a “high” time that if I don’t watch myself, I can get totally manic. I mean, there are holiday gatherings to prepare for and all, with cooking and baking and all those extra goodies I like to do, plus all the gatherings and parties to go to, but I really have to watch myself not to get out of hand. I have to stay in control or I could easily go into a manic episode.”

———————————————————————————————————————

Like this blogger was saying, it can (and must) be done, especially if you’re aware of those triggers. But it’s one thing to be aware of the manic triggers, and another thing to be sideswiped by a depression that follows the holidays. One that you didn’t expect. That can too easily happen if you’re not prepared for it. Especially if your loved one did experience a mania during the holidays. As many times, a mania will be followed by an inevitable crash into a depression afterwards.

So what can you do about post-holiday depression in your loved one? First of all…You can try to avoid it. Try not to let them get too manic or excited or “high” over the holidays themselves.

This way they can maintain more of an even keel throughout this time. Then, hopefully, you will avoid the crash of a depression after the holidays. Another way you can try to avoid it is…Try to get things back to normal as quickly as you can after the holidays. I’m not saying to take down the decorations immediately or anything (unless you want to), but just to get back to as great a sense of normalcy as you can as quickly as you can. In other words, get back to your normal routine and schedule. Do things that you would normally do.

Another thing you can do to avoid post-holiday depression is…Keep up the gatherings. Keep seeing friends and family even though it’s no longer the holidays. This will help keep your loved one “in the spirit” longer and keep them from getting depressed.

Another thing is…Encourage your loved one to get back into their routine as quickly as possible.

Much of the time, people forego their diet and exercise regimens over the holidays because of the gatherings and parties. Someone with bipolar disorder is no different. It would help your loved one to get back into their diet and exercise routines as quickly as possible after the holidays to avoid depression.

If they do fall into a depression after the holidays…Encourage them to make an appointment to see their therapist and/or psychiatrist for an extra visit before they go into a full blown bipolar depressive episode.

And don’t forget yourself…You need to watch yourself as well, so that you don’t go into a depression after the holidays. Make sure that you stay busy and get yourself back to normal as quickly as possible. You can follow the same advice as above to avoid depression for yourself.

Your Friend,

 

Dave