Bipolar Supporter – When You Know What You Want

Hi, how’s it going for you today? I hope things are going good for you.

Remember when you were younger, and you wanted something so bad you almost couldn’t stand it? Like at Christmastime, getting that one present you wanted more than anything else.

Then, as you get older, you may have the same strong desire for something, but you can’t always count on someone else providing it for you. Some things you have to do for yourself.

When you know what you want, and you want it badly enough, you’ll find a way to get it. That’s what happens when you’re an adult. No more Santa Clause. Just you. And your ability to attain what you desire.

First, though, you need to know what you want.

So how does this relate to bipolar disorder? Say you want things to be less stressful at home.

Say you want it very badly. Well, no one is going to do the work for you – you first of all have to want it bad enough, and second of all, want it bad enough to do what it takes to attain it.

So you might think of ways to make your home environment more peaceful. You might brainstorm some ideas and then act upon them. You can’t just wait on your loved one to do it for you, because they may either not see the same need, or acknowledge it, or be willing or able to do it like you can.

I know, that sounds like it’s all on you to do the hard work…But sometimes you have to pick

up the slack from your loved one. That is, if it’s something you want bad enough.

Again, if you want something bad enough, you’ll do whatever it takes to get it. Like stability.

If your loved one wants stability bad enough, they will do whatever it takes to attain it. And that may be what you want as well. Although you can’t make your loved one do what they have to do to attain stability…You can do your part.

You can help them remember to take their medications. You can see that they get to all their appointments. You can make sure that they stay productive, even if that means writing up a To-Do List for them. You can go to your own support group and find out how other supporters are dealing with their loved one’s bipolar disorder.

In other words, if you want something bad enough, you’ll do what it takes to get it.

That doesn’t mean, though, that you can’t ask for help. In fact, if you don’t ask for help, you may suffer burnout, trying to do everything yourself. On the other hand, you don’t want to do for your loved one what they can do for themselves. You have every right to expect them to participate in what they can.

Like the example I used of keeping a stress-free home environment. They can help with that, too.

Can you think of an example of something you wanted so bad you were willing to do whatever it

took to get it? That’s the right attitude you (and your loved one) need to have toward bipolar stability.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Dealing With Bipolar Disorder? Mistake Some Say Obama Is Making

Hi, how are you today? I hope this is a good day for you.

I saw in the news that many people are criticizing President of The United States, Barack Obama, saying he is “trying to boil the ocean.” (What in the world does that mean? LOL)

Well that means that they say he is trying to do too much too fast. (Here’s the link:

http://www.netlingo.com/word/boil-the-ocean.php

Don’t try to boil the ocean. How does this apply to bipolar?

Well, if you have bipolar disorder, you may have to focus solely on your treatment and a few other things. If you are a supporter, you may have to drop some things that you normally do, maybe charity work, some fun things, etc., in order to help your loved one. You can’t do it all.

I personally had to take off from work for almost a year. I had to stop hanging out with my friends. I had to cut back on many things. There just wasn’t enough time.

Some try to keep up everything and burn out and almost have breakdowns. You don’t want to suffer supporter burn-out. In order to avoid it, you have to set priorities.

Even more important than taking care of your loved one is taking care of yourself. Make sure that the stress of taking care of a loved one with bipolar disorder is not getting to you. If it is, you need to do something to de-stress. You may need a break. Not only are you entitled to one,

it may be absolutely necessary for you to take one.

Try to find someone else in your loved one’s support system who can “spell” you for a time, even

if all you do is take a drive in the country or something like that. You need to keep balance in your life, just as your loved one does. You need to stay stable as well. That means being balanced physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. And you have to keep in mind that you can’t do everything by yourself.

Some supporters even have their own support group (for supporters of a family member or loved one who has bipolar disorder), and they find that that helps. Others go to their own therapist.

The point is that you do what you need to do to keep yourself balanced.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Huge New Years Sale On Our Bipolar Disorder Catalog

Hi,

We have having a HUGE New Years Sale. 50% percent off the ENTIRE Bipolar Central catalog.

There are tons of resources and courses.

From now until Tuesday, January 5, 2010, order anything from the catalog site located at:

http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

And receive 50% off your entire order.

Just enter promo code “newyears1231” on the order form  to see immediate savings.

Have a great day.

Dave

Bipolar Supporter? Help Your Loved One Through These Times

Hi, how’s it going? I hope things are going good for you.

The holidays are not always easy for someone with bipolar disorder. All the excitement can “trip” one into a bipolar manic episode. The let-down after the holidays may “trip” one into a bipolar depressive episode.

You really need to watch your loved one at this time of year especially. And, of course, they need to be watching themselves.

Two of the worst triggers to a bipolar episode are anxiety and stress. The holidays are full of both these triggers for your loved one.

One advantage you have is that you can look back at last year and see how the holidays affected your loved one. Did they get nervous? Stressed? Out of control? Even gone into an episode? If it happened last year, it’s probably a good indicator of what will happen this year. So you need to be vigilant, and not let down your guard even though it is the holidays. Actually, you shouldn’t let down your guard especially because it’s the holidays.

If your loved one got anxious or stressed last year at this time, you will probably have to help them through this year as well. You can help your loved one through anxiety and stress.

Here are some suggestions:

• Be supportive

• Watch for signs or symptoms of an episode

• Avoid too much excitement

• Keep the gatherings to small ones

• Always have a Plan B

• Make arrangements so that your loved one can leave a gathering early if they get too anxious or stressed

• Have a ready (plausible) excuse for declining
holiday invitations so that your loved one doesn’t
get overwhelmed or be uncomfortable

• Make sure that your loved one is comfortable
wherever you go, and avoid those places (like the
mall) that cause them anxiety or stress

• Keep the home environment as stress-free as possible

• Only have people over to your house if your loved
one is ok with it

• Occasionally check with your loved one
verbally to see if they are feeling ok – but not
so much that they feel like you are bugging them

• Be understanding if your loved one doesn’t feel
up to company, or up to going out to a gathering
or party (you may have to hide your disappointment)

Although the holidays are a trigger for some people
with bipolar disorder, your loved one doesn’t have to
be one of these people with a little forethought and
planning, as well as vigilance on your part.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Dealing with Bipolar Disorder? Can You Afford to Lose This?

Hi, how are you today? I hope this is a good day for you.

You know, there are some things we can afford to lose in life. In recovery programs, for

example, as well as in church, you can afford to lose your pride and ego. (In fact, it may happen whether you like it or not.)

You can afford to lose your car if there are too many repairs needed for it, and buy another one.

In other words, it’s not a life or death thing. At worst, you may have to get rides from people until your car is fixed, if you keep it. But still, you could afford to lose it.

You can afford to lose some of your possessions, like if you have a yard sale, or donate to Goodwill or a church or other worthy organization.

But there are some things that you can’t afford to lose. For example, you can’t afford to lose your home, or else where would you live? You can’t afford to lose your job (unless you have another one lined up), because you need that income to live off. You can’t afford to wreck your credit, although too many people with bipolar disorder do. Then it’s a mess trying to establish your credit back.

Your loved one can’t afford to lose your support. Your support is invaluable to them, as it helps them to deal with their bipolar disorder. Your loved one can’t afford to lose their commitment to take their medication. If they lose that commitment, it could lead to going into a bipolar episode, or worse, it could take their life! So they definitely cannot afford to stop taking their medication.

They can’t afford to lose their doctor, psychiatrist, therapist and any other member of their treatment team, either. Because these people help them as much as you do. Your loved one cannot afford to lose sleep, either. Because loss of sleep is one of the biggest triggers to a bipolar episode.

And what about you? You can’t afford to NOT take care of yourself, because your loved one and family need you. You can’t afford to lose your self-esteem and self-respect. These are very important to anyone to have, whether they are dealing with bipolar disorder or not. Your self-esteem and self-respect are how you feel about yourself. And you need to feel good about yourself.

Some supporters suffer in this area, because they believe that their support is directly related to

their loved one’s bipolar disorder. In other words, if their loved one isn’t doing well, or goes into an episode, they blame themselves. They think negatively. They believe that since their loved one isn’t doing well, that it means that they’re not a good supporter. But that isn’t true.

The struggle for bipolar stability falls outside your responsibility as a supporter. You can be the best supporter in the world, and your loved one will still go into episodes.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Current Bipolar News

Hi,

How’s it going?

Merry Christmas if you celebrate. Have a great day.

I have to get going to go over to my mom and dad’s house.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews462/

Here are the news headlines:

Tele-psychiatrist makes House Calls
DO> What do you think of this?

Depression Support Group Gives Hope Over Holidays
DO> This is so very true

New Study Links…Type of Omega-3 to Better Nervous -System Function
DO> Some say this is great for bipolar disorder.

What Is a Manic Episode?
DO> You all should know this, from my material.

Down for the Holidays, You are not Alone
DO> Sad but true topic.

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews462/

==>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Rainex and Bipolar Disorder

Hi, how’s it going? I hope you’re having a great day.

Do you know what Rainex is? It’s a solution that you put on your car window that literally makes rain “bead up” and roll right off your windshield. This stuff really works!

Speaking of “rolling off…”

I was thinking about this in relation to bipolar disorder. One thing you need to learn is to let things “roll off” your back without reacting. I know, it doesn’t seem fair, because your loved one

probably doesn’t do this.

But just like the beads of rain just “roll off” your car windshield when you use Rainex, you need to let some things “roll off” your back when you’re dealing with someone who has bipolar disorder.

Your loved one experiences mood swings sometimes, just by virtue of the fact that they have bipolar disorder. They can’t help some of their behavior because of this. But that doesn’t make it any easier for you to deal with or excuse.

Well, if you can’t change their behavior, what you CAN do is change your REACTION to their behavior.

For instance, like I was talking about – let things roll off your back. In other words, don’t take things personally. And don’t react to them in a negative way. Which is hard, I know, because sometimes your loved one can say some pretty harsh and hurtful things. My mom did that to me, too, when she was in her episodes.

Fighting back is definitely not the answer. Your loved one’s anger may be because of an irritable mood, not even because of something you’ve done. If that’s the case, you have no defense anyway. And fighting back with them will just make them angrier.

Many times they will absolutely believe they are right about something, even though you know they’re wrong. You still won’t get anywhere by fighting back with them. They believe they are right,no matter what you say. This is a common problem with bipolar disorder.

Then you get frustrated…Stressed…Angry…Resentful…Or a host of other negative emotions.

So what CAN you do about it? You need to learn to let things roll off your back. Remember the image of the Rainex and your windshield. Don’t take things personally. Remember that it is the bipolar disorder talking, and not your loved one. And don’t hold onto resentments – they will only affect you in a negative way.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Warning About Bipolar Disorder and Disability

Hi,

I wanted to address something with you.

The other day, I sent out a link for a new resource I have titled:

“Who Else Wants To Know The SHOCKING Truth About Disability And Bipolar Disorder?”

Located at:  http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/specialoffer/disability/

I received a bunch of questions from people basically saying in a nutshell:

“Dave, isn’t this stuff that social security will tell people?”

The answer is no.

The information in this resource is NOT found in social security.

Even doctors don’t tell patients.

I have no idea why. It’s seriously crazy.

I think disability can be devastating to people dealing with bipolar disorder.

In my material I point out why.

I just want people to realize I am NOT exaggerating.

You’re going to learn so much that doctors and social security never tell you. Most of the time they don’t realize all of what is in my material.

Some therapists, do however. I find that many times, therapists are more in tune with the ins and outs of managing bipolar disorder on a daily basis.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know this.

If you are on disability yourself, have a loved one on it or are considering it, and want more information, please visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/specialoffer/disability/

Thanks and see you tomorrow morning.

Dave

Dealing With Bipolar Disorder? You May Need to Do This

Hi, how are you doing today? I hope you’re doing well.

You know, one of the worst things I remember about those bad years when my mom had undiagnosed bipolar disorder was all the fighting. I hated that. It kind of scared me, because I didn’t understand why she was fighting so much. Sometimes I didn’t even know what I did that made her so mad. She would just start yelling and screaming at me, and it was awful.

It was especially horrible when she said things that hurt me (but later she didn’t remember them).

So you know that now I am totally against fighting. Except I think that there are some exceptions. Sometimes you have to fight.

Like they say to fight for what you believe in. Or to fight for your rights. Or to fight the big iant corporation that took your money. Or to fight for what is right. Things like that.

But that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about fighting with your loved one.

It’s hard when you are drawn into a fight with your loved one, because it will only make things worse. However, there are things you can do to help, like the idea of listening patiently without fighting back, and not taking it personally.

But I’m sure, like me, that in spite of hating to fight, you have ended up in a couple fights with your loved one anyway. Hopefully, you have a good relationship normally, with good communication.

Hopefully, you have learned how to disagree without hurting each other (like the concept of “agree to disagree”) without things getting out of control. But when your loved one is in an agitated mood, it may not be that simple. They may be like my mother was. They may even try to pick a fight with you.

In a manic mood, sometimes a person with bipolar disorder can get very irritable and get agitated

easily. They can get real angry (whether it’s over a big thing or a small thing). And then they take it out on you because either they blame you, or because you are there to listen.

But one thing you do need to fight for sometimes is your loved one’s stability. That is one thing worth fighting for. Remember to keep in mind that there is a separation between your loved one and their disorder. So you’re not really fighting your loved one, you’re fighting their bipolar disorder. Still, things can be difficult. Nobody likes to be yelled at.

One of the most effective ways to deal with your loved one’s anger is by making your voice softer. I know, it seems like too simple an idea. But it forces them to listen to what you’re saying.

You may have to even fight with them over whether to go to the hospital or not. And that is one fight that you do need to win! So say whatever you have to say to get them to hear reason and agree to go get help voluntarily.

Hopefully, you have good communication, so that there are few fights. Just remember that, when it comes to their bipolar disorder, you can never give up the fight for their stability, even if it means fighting them for their own good.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Dealing With Bipolar Disorder? Look for this.

Hi, I hope you’re doing ok today.

I was talking to this woman the other day, and she was sharing with me about how she had just

gotten some bad news. She didn’t seem very upset, though, so I asked her what happened. She told me that she had just found out that she has kidney disease.

I thought, wow, that’s pretty bad news. But again, I noticed that she didn’t seem to be taking it that hard. The more I talked to her, the more upbeat I felt, which was really strange. I mean, she gets this terrible news, but she is so upbeat that it kind of like rubs off on me! I swear, this was the most positive woman I’ve ever talked to. And talking to her put me in a positive frame of mind.

When I asked her how come she could have such a positive attitude, she told me.

1. What she has was caught pretty early

2. It’s treatable

3. It’s not fatal

4. She can still do her normal things

5. She can still do her job

Now, here’s the opposite of her. There’s this person at one of the support groups I go to who complains about everything. But she’s not sick, and her husband isn’t either (physically, I mean). They live in a nice house, drive a nice car, and basically have a pretty good life. Except that her husband has bipolar disorder.

But like the woman who shared with me that she had kidney disease, this woman’s husband is not going to get worse (as long as he does certain things). He found out pretty early that he had

bipolar disorder, so he’s in treatment for it. Bipolar disorder doesn’t have to be fatal, as long as he stays on his medications. He can still do his normal things. And he is still able to work part-time.

She should be grateful for all that, as her husband sounds like a high functioning person with bipolar disorder. Plus he’s not physically sick. She shouldn’t be complaining, she should be glad that things aren’t worse.

Like this woman with the kidney problem, she has a positive attitude, and she is looking for the good in her situation. Not like the woman in the support group, who is looking at all the bad.

Many people with bipolar disorder are much worse off than her husband. Some haven’t even been diagnosed yet, much less diagnosed early. So they’re having to still go through episodes, with lots of consequences, and they don’t even know why these things are happening to them.

Some don’t stick to their medications, and go into episodes because of that. Some people are still in denial over the fact that they have bipolar disorder to begin with. Some don’t let their supporter (or anyone else) help them. Some people fight this thing all the way, thinking they can do it all by themselves. They can’t – they need a strong support system. And they need to have a positive attitude. That’s just as much a part of your treatment as taking medication.

Whether you have bipolar disorder or are supporting someone who does, having a positive attitude will help you.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave