Bipolar: Determining the Outcome

Hi,

Let me ask you something: Have you ever watched two people playing a game of chess? They’re so serious. Each move is precise. That’s because each move determines the outcome. Just one move can mean the difference between winning or losing the game. Coping and dealing with bipolar disorder is like that. Oh, not that it’s a game by any means. I certainly don’t mean that. It’s more like a war. And a war is made up of battles. Each battle is precisely planned. It’s called STRATEGY. Your strategy, too, determines the outcome…Whether it’s a game of chess or a war. Or your battle with bipolar disorder. And these strategies determine the outcome of your battle.

If you went into a chess game without any strategy, you will lose the game, because I guarantee you that your opponent will be using strategy against you. If you went into a war without any strategy, you would lose that war, because I guarantee you that your enemy will be using strategy against you. And if you’re trying to cope and deal with bipolar disorder without a strategy, you will lose as well. Stability is all about carefully planned moves. And your strategy will determine the outcome. The war against bipolar disorder is a war that you CAN win, though. I know, because my mom has. And I have scores of testimonials from others who have done it as well.

I helped my mom develop her strategies, made up of planning and systems. And each move she makes determines the outcome – her stability. As long as she follows the plans, systems, and strategies, she stays stable. Which she has now, for a long time.

Some of her strategies are:

• getting good sleep
• eating right
• taking her medications
• following a routine
• seeing her doctors and therapist
• avoiding her bipolar triggers
• watching for signs/symptoms of an impending episode

Some supporter strategies would include:

• making sure your loved one takes their medication
• good communication with your loved one
• being supportive and understanding
• keeping a safe, peaceful home environment for your loved one
• avoiding your loved one’s triggers (and helping them to avoid them)
• watching for signs/symptoms of an oncoming episode
• planning in advance what to do if they need to go to the hospital

And remembering that the enemy is NOT your loved one – it’s their bipolar disorder. You may still lose some battles with bipolar disorder – Your loved one may still have setbacks and episodes – But with good strategy, you WILL win the war! Especially if you work together with your loved one towards a common goal (their stability).

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

 

Current Bipolar News

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews657/

David Fredette Pens First Poetic Novel, LATENT HEAT
DO> You’ll want to read this book.

Guidance for medication in bipolar depression published
DO> Some good information for you to know.

Survey finds one in 10 had mental or substance abuse problems in …
DO> Interesting survey, don’t you agree?

Bipolar suicide characteristics found
DO> Important study, don’t you think?

Impulsivity in bipolar disorder unrelated to substance abuse
DO> Did you know this about bipolar?

The risk of suicidal tendencies of bipolar disorder can identified in …
DO> This information is important to know.

Stroke warning for bipolar patients
DO> Don’t you find this study interesting?

New Mobile App Helps Bipolar Individuals
DO> This news is exciting, don’t you think?

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews657/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Bipolar: Getting What You Pay For

Hi,

Have you ever seen this commercial for a chocolate candy that is made up of AIR in the middle?
That’s right, just AIR! And they’re marketing this like it’s a desirable thing! Like you’re supposed to want it, and want to pay more for a candy that’s nothing but AIR in the middle! Am I wrong here, or are they just insulting my intelligence, but I don’t think that this is a really good thing here. I think this is an EMPTY thing (just air) that they’re trying to make us believe is something desirable, something we should want and think is really cool. Well, I for one, don’t think it’s really cool. Or desirable. I think it’s a rip-off.

I don’t think in this life that you get something for nothing. I think that “You get what you pay for,” as the saying goes. Like even with bipolar disorder: You get what you “pay for” even with bipolar disorder – in other words, you get what you expect.

Here’s what I’m talking about: Say that you wake up in the morning, and you expect that today is just going to be more of the same, that your loved one is going to be just as bad today as they were yesterday, and there is just no hope. Well, guess what? You get what you pay for! Chances are…Your loved one WILL be just as bad today then as they were yesterday. You’ve kind of “doomed” them to no improvement, because you don’t expect any more from them than that.
And if that’s the way you’re going to be, you’re kind of enabling them. When you enable your loved one, you allow them to continue unacceptable behavior, because you don’t expect any better of them. So why should they even try to do any better if it’s not expected of them? I mean, if you don’t expect it of them, why should they expect it of themselves?

Have you ever heard the expression: “If nothing changes, nothing changes.” It might seem obvious to you, but it’s true. Nothing changes unless you change it. But if you don’t see that anything needs to change, you’re not going to change it. In other words, if everything is going along, and you think that everything’s fine, you won’t see a need for change. That’s how your loved one will be. Yet they may be doing things that are unacceptable to you. They may be doing things like in a bipolar episode that have no consequences to them, so they won’t see any need to change their behavior at all, but these things can really hurt you. And you may be feeling some really bad feelings inside because of this. Some negative feelings that you’re just stuffing.

Feelings like:

• Frustration
• Anger
• Disappointment
• Mistrust
• Loneliness
• Self-Pity
• Resentment
• Guilt
And if you keep stuffing these feelings, well…You “get what you pay for” there, too. In other words, it could make you sick. It will come out in some way. Like give you headaches, stomach aches, body aches, etc. So you have to do something about it. You have to talk to your loved one about their unacceptable behavior, and even set some limits or consequences to their behavior. I know it may be the last thing you really want to do. But still…For your own sake…You have to do it. Or you’re going to get sick, and you don’t want that.

The best thing to do is to wait for a time when they are receptive to you, maybe a time when they are in a good mood, and just openly share your feelings with them. Hopefully, they will hear you and be willing to change and accept what you have to say. At least you have to try.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

 

Bipolar: Something You Need of Your Own

Hi,

If you’re a parent, you know that one of the values you try to teach your children is the value
of sharing. There’s no worse screech to a parent’s ears than to hear the cry of “Mine, mine, mine!” from their children’s voices across the room…To be followed by an inevitable fight that they then have to referee. So…Then must come the lecture about the value of sharing, mustn’t it?
Well…Sharing is an important value, I’m not going to dispute that. But when it comes to bipolar disorder…There are some things that it’s important for your loved one to have…And some things that it’s important for you to have of your own.

For example: It’s very important that you have your own support system. Your loved one does need a good, strong support system if they’re going to learn to manage their bipolar disorder and get better. But for some of the very same reasons that they need one…You need one as well. And for another very important reason as well: Without a good strong support system of your own…
You can very easily suffer from supporter burnout. You just can’t do it all yourself…As much as you might want to…As much as you might be tempted to…As much as you might think you can…As much as you might think you have no choice. You just can’t. You can’t afford to burn out. For your own sake as well as your loved one’s sake.

As a bipolar supporter, it’s just as important that you see to your own needs as much as you see to the needs of your loved one. And one of those needs MUST be the formation of your own support system.

So…Who should be in your support system? Well…It could be your loved one’s treatment team, for one thing. But mostly it should be made up of family and friends who care about you. People who can offer YOU support, as you offer your loved one support as part of their support system.
These people can also be members of your church or synagogue or other place of worship. They could also be members of your bipolar support group. They could even be some of your co-workers with whom you are close, or even your boss, if you are close to them and if they can offer you support. Anyone can be a member of your support system if you want them to be. As long as they can support you if/when you need them to.

But one thing to remember is this: You have to tell the members of your support system how to help you, or else they won’t know how. After all, they aren’t mind readers. They only know what you tell them. So you have to tell them what you need. For example: If you just need someone to talk to about what’s going on with your loved one…You can pick someone for that, and tell them that you just need someone to listen for awhile. Or you might just need a temporary break from
your loved one. So you might need someone from your support system to “spell” you for a little while so you can go somewhere and take a break from the situation. Or you may even need a temporary place to stay for a day or a few days.

But these are all things you need to ask for from the people in your support system. Because they are all people who care about you and want to support you, I’m sure they want to help you out, but you have to tell them specifically what you need.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

 

 

Current Bipolar News

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews656/

Positive Outlook for the Generic Version of Depakote ER
DO> Some interesting information for you to know.

Case for targeting perfectionism in patients with bipolar disorder
DO> Important study, don’t you agree?

Depression highlighted as nonadherence risk in bipolar patients
DO> Interesting study, don’t you think?

Women with manic depression more vulnerable to alcohol problems
DO> Did you know this about bipolar?

Experts warn of ‘systematic discrimination’ against people with …
DO> These statistics will shock you.

In Bipolar, Women Lean Toward Depression, Men Toward Mania
DO> It’s good to know about these differences.

Soldiers Hospitalized For Mental Illness More Than Any Other Reason
DO> Disturbing study, you might find.

Prospective memory fails bipolar patients
DO> You will find this study interesting.

Golden Gate Bridge jumper shares tale in talk at SUNY Orange
DO> This man’s story will move you.

David Fredette Pens First Poetic Novel, LATENT HEAT
DO> You’ll want to read this book.

Guidance for medication in bipolar depression published
DO> Important information that you should know.

Survey finds one in 10 had mental or substance abuse problems in …
DO> Interesting survey, don’t you agree?

Bipolar suicide characteristics found
DO> Important study, don’t you think?

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews656/

 

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Bipolar: War in Syria and Bipolar Disorder

Hi,

Do you know about the war in Syria? About what’s going on over there right now? It’s not good, let me tell you, any way you look at it. But let me ask you: Do you agree with it? What do you think we should do? Do you think we should get involved with it? Why or why not? Some people think we shouldn’t get involved because it’s none of our business. Now, I’m not a general or anything…And I don’t even profess to know a great deal about military strategy. But I think we shouldn’t get involved because it would just open up a whole can of worms. And we don’t want to do that. It just wouldn’t make sense. And that’s what it’s all about – Doing what makes sense. Like with bipolar disorder. You just shouldn’t do what doesn’t make sense.

Just like I don’t have to be a great general to figure out that we could get ourselves into trouble if we go bombing Syria…You don’t have to be a great psychiatrist to figure out that if you or your loved one does things that don’t make sense, they are not going to get better.

First, let’s talk about your loved one. The absolute main thing to talk about is that it makes no sense at all for them not to take their medication. If they don’t take their medication, they will surely go into a bipolar episode, and that will just make them worse, not better. So it makes the most sense for them to take their medication.

It also makes sense for them to follow a treatment plan. That means going to see a doctor, psychiatrist, and therapist. They will have to see a doctor not just for their general physical well-being, but also because there are some bipolar medications that require blood tests to check for levels of the medication in the patient’s bloodstream. They will have to see a psychiatrist not just for follow-up of their bipolar disorder, but also for medication prescriptions. Although the general practitioner could also write prescriptions, he generally leaves it up to the psychiatrist to write prescriptions for diagnoses of mental disorders.

They will have to see a therapist for treatment of the ongoing issues surrounding their bipolar disorder. The therapist helps them deal with the day-to-day stress, for example, and can teach them stress management techniques. They may even see other mental health professionals,
according to their individual treatment plan. Some people with bipolar disorder have a social worker who helps them. Some have a case manager. Some who are married go to a marriage counselor, or a family therapist for counseling.

It also makes sense for your loved one to develop a strong support system. Some of these people may even be in their support system, if they choose. Their support system can also include family, friends, coworkers, support group members, church members, clergy, and anyone else they think might be able to help and support them when they need it. But it also makes sense that they tell the people in their support system what they need from them, as these people are not mind-readers. They want to help, but they may not know how, so they will need to be given direction from your loved one or yourself.

Secondly, let’s talk about you as the supporter. You need to do things that make sense as well.
If what you’re doing for your loved one is not working, or no longer working, you need to try something else. Try doing something that you’ve never done before. If that doesn’t work, then try something else. But do something that makes sense.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Current Bipolar News

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews655/

Bipolar patients struggle with emotional distraction
DO> Interesting study, don’t you agree?

Teva halts development of Nuvigil in bipolar disorder
DO> Important information for you to know.

Bipolar disorder cases show ‘staggering increase’ Times LIVE
DO> Do you agree with this conclusion?

Exercise may not be ‘one size fits all’ in bipolar patients
DO> This just makes sense, don’t you think?

Simple skin test gains traction as suicide marker
DO> Don’t you think this is an exciting study?

Former U.S. Representative Aims To Break Stigmas About Mental …
DO> He makes some good points you’ll want to check out.

Beverly man pleads guilty to role in park slaying Greenwich Time
DO> Do you think he is guilty?

Missing autistic, bipolar boy, 16, spotted in …
DO> This boy’s story will move you.

Gender warns of bipolar I disorder risks
DO> Important to know the differences, don’t you agree?

Hospital death of ‘over-medicated’ bipolar woman to be investigated
DO> This video will shock you.

Depression highlighted as nonadherence risk in bipolar patients
DO> Some good information for you to know.

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews655/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Bipolar: You’re Not the Only One

Hi,

Let me ask you something: Do you ever feel as if you’re the only one going through what you’re going through right now? The only one who has to deal with the problems that you have to deal with? Would it help you to know that you aren’t the only one? If you have financial problems, well, so do other people. If you have marital problems, well, so do other people. If you have problems with your children, well, so do other people. If you have problems at work, well, so do other people. Maybe you can learn from your problems. Maybe it’s just a matter of learning how to problem solve.

Like in the case of financial problems, you might want to look at getting out of debt. You can talk to a debt counselor about that. You might want to look at where your money is going. You can sit down with your loved one and figure that out, and then develop a budget. Then you have to stick to living within your means. It may take time, but if you do these things, you may no longer have financial problems.

And you must know that you’re not the only person with a loved one who has bipolar disorder.
You can go to just one support group meeting and find other people in the same boat as you are in. You can even get some good advice on dealing with your own loved one from a support group. Unfortunately, in our culture we have become isolated from each other. To the point that we sometimes think we’re the only person with the problems that we have. That makes those problems harder to solve.

Sometimes we get jealous of other people. We think they’ve got it easier than we do. Kind of like “the grass is always greener on the other side” type of thing. But everyone has problems.
Would you even want to trade yours for someone else’s? Think about it. You know the expression, “No matter how bad you’ve got it, someone else has it worse.” That’s true. And remembering that can help you have a more positive attitude. Some people just sit around waiting for “the other shoe to drop.” They expect that they’re going to have more problems than they already have. That’s like you waiting on eggshells for your loved one’s next episode. That’s no way to live. You have to believe in your loved one’s stability. Otherwise, it’s just another unsolvable problem.

No, you are not the only one. Many millions of people right now are struggling with bipolar disorder. The difference between it being a problem or not is how you approach it. Either it controls you, or you control it. What are you doing today to help your loved one get control over their bipolar disorder? Are you being a good supporter and helping them to manage their disorder? Or are you spending too much time worrying…Maybe even feeling sorry for yourself…Thinking that you’re the only one going through what you’re going through?

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

 

Current Bipolar News

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews654/

Binge eating might influence another kind of bipolar disorder Post-Bulletin
DO> Interesting study, don’t you agree?

Personality may be key to genetics of bipolar disorder
DO> Some important information here, don’t you think?

Blood biomarkers predict suicidality
DO> Important study for you to see.

Heritability of severe mental illness may be underestimated
DO> Good to know, especially if you have children.

Psych Drugs Don’t Raise Death Risk in Mental Illness
DO> Good to know for your loved one’s medications.

Improved pediatric bipolar screen unveiled
DO> You need to know this if you have a child with bipolar.

Bipolar patients struggle with emotional distraction
DO> Did you know this about bipolar?

Dementia risk for bipolar disorder patients
DO> Especially good to know if your loved one is older.

Acute manic episodes linked to increased edema risk
DO> Don’t you think this is important to know?

Bipolar disorder cases show ‘staggering increase’
DO> Interesting study, don’t you think?

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews654/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Bipolar: Learning to Say NO

Hi,

Today’s message is going to be for both bipolar supporters and bipolar survivors, because I think it’s important for both of you to learn this very important concept. I heard a saying the other day which I thought was really neat: “NO is a complete sentence.” Isn’t that cool? I thought so. You see…Too many people do not even have the word “No” in their vocabulary, so they get over-committed, stressed out, and overwhelmed. This can lead to many problems for these people. For someone with bipolar disorder, this can even lead to a bipolar episode.

It’s hard to get your priorities right if you don’t know how to say no to people. It can lead to so many commitments that you just can’t do everything. Then you have to let someone down and you can even feel guilty about it. You may even start avoiding that person. Then it may affect your relationship with them.

How to set priorities is important, especially when it comes to bipolar disorder. For many people, there isn’t enough time in the day to get everything done that they want to accomplish just in that day. These people are just TOO busy! Being too busy can lead to too much stress in their lives.
For someone with bipolar disorder, too much stress can lead to a bipolar episode. It’s very important for someone with bipolar disorder to keep their stress levels down. This way, they have a better chance at having a more stable life and of better management of their bipolar disorder.

As a supporter, it’s just as important to keep your stress levels down, so that you can be the best help you can be for your loved one, and so that you don’t face supporter burnout. This way your life can be more stable, too, and you can manage your life better.

Ok, so as far as setting priorities, goes…The most important priority is yourself. Supporter, if you don’t take care of yourself first, you will not be able to take care of your loved one. That means that if your life is too full of “stuff,” you need to get rid of some things. You may have too many obligations. If that’s true, consider getting rid of some of them, and keeping only those that matter the most. There may be too many constraints on your time, and you may be rushing around all the time, trying to get everything done, which could be stressing you out. If so, you may need to consider some time management skill training. You may be wasting a lot of precious time just running around needlessly.

For the bipolar survivor, if you are feeling stressed, consider that it may be because you have too many obligations in your life. If you are still working a full-time job outside the home, you may have to consider leaving it. It may be too hard for you to handle, considering your bipolar disorder. It is more important for you to have less stress in your life than to have that job. You also, like your supporter, need to prioritize your obligations and responsibilities. Keep those that are most important and consider getting rid of some of the others.

Remember that “No” is a complete sentence. Say “No” to new commitments. Don’t take on more than you can handle. The stress just isn’t worth it. Keep in mind that stability with your bipolar disorder is the most important thing for you. And remember, both of you, to make sure to leave time for each other.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave