Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:

Treatment service use disparities found in bipolar patients
DO> Interesting study, don’t you agree?

Preview: New Wave star Adam Ant returns to Pittsburgh
DO> This interview will interest you.

Substance abuse linked to bipolar suicide risk T
DO> Important study, don’t you think?

Bipolar disorder or depression? Researchers may have discovered … Sun News Network
DO> Can you tell the difference?

Brain scans to diagnose bipolar disorder Medical News Today
DO> Don’t you think this would be exciting?

Michigan says mental health courts making difference Oakland Press
DO> Do you think these could work where you are?

Binge eating might influence another kind of bipolar disorder Post-Bulletin
DO> Don’t you think this is important information?

Impulsivity may be vulnerability marker for bipolar disorder
DO> Don’t you agree that this is an interesting study?

Several Factors Linked to Premature Deaths in Bipolar Patients
DO> Did you know this about bipolar?

Personality may be key to genetics of bipolar disorder
DO> Good information for you to know.

Blood biomarkers predict suicidality
DO> Important information you will want to know.

Heritability of severe mental illness may be underestimated
DO> You need to know this if you have children.

Psych Drugs Don’t Raise Death Risk in Mental Illness
DO> This will help you not to worry about your loved one.

Patients with mental illness face high mortality risk in drug trials
DO> You might want to watch this with your loved one.

For these stories and more, please visit:

POST RESPONSES TO THE NEWS HERE

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all
aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

I want to tell you about a woman I read about recently. This woman was so obsessed with perfection that she literally made herself sick. The problem was, in her eyes, that her body was fat. Every time she looked in the mirror, she saw herself as fat. Now, that didn’t make it true, it’s just the way she saw herself. She would read magazines and want to be as thin and perfect as the models in the magazines. She wanted a perfect body. So she practically starved herself to get one.

There is such a thing as losing too much weight, however, and/or losing it in the wrong way.

Instead of simply eating a healthy diet and losing weight slowly like she should have, she just stopped eating almost altogether. She did drink water, however, and lots of it. The water only flushed out needed nutrients, though. The next thing she knew, she was in the hospital with an almost fatal blood pressure and loss of electrolytes in her body. She was down to 95 pounds. But she still thought she was fat. In the hospital, they had to give her several bags of fluids to get her blood pressure back up. She was very weak, and very sick. The problem was not in her body, though – It was in her mind. She wanted to be perfect, and almost died in the process.

———————————————————————————————————————

Imperfection is a fact of life. It’s hard to accept our own imperfections, much less someone else’s.

This woman became obsessed with having a perfect body. You know I work out a lot, and I see men all the time who are trying to do the same thing. Instead of just accepting that they aren’t Superman, they try and try to “buff up” not for healthy reasons, but for personal reasons. Like this woman, they are unhappy with their bodies. They think that if they just work out enough, they will have “six-pack abs” and all the rest, and then their life will be perfect. That’s the wrong way to approach it, though. It’s one thing to try to improve yourself. It’s quite another thing if your motivation is to be perfect.

Sometimes it’s hard for a supporter of a loved one with bipolar disorder to accept their own limitations. They want to be the perfect supporter. But all you can do is be the best supporter you can be, and accept that you’re not going to be perfect. No one is. If you’re looking for the magic formula that tells you how to be the perfect supporter, you won’t find one. But if you can accept your own imperfections, it will be easier to accept your loved one’s imperfections. No matter how much they try or what they do, your loved one will never be the perfect bipolar survivor, either.

There’s an expression that says: “It’s ok to strive for perfection, as long as you accept that you will never arrive there.” If you accept your loved one as they are, understanding that they are trying their best to recover, things will be much easier for you. Just don’t expect them to be perfect. And don’t expect yourself to be perfect, either.

Well, I have to go!

 

Your Friend,

 

Dave

 

Hi,

I’ve been noticing all the things you can buy for a college dorm room in the stores lately. It’s amazing, really. Even mini-refrigerators! And all kinds of space savers. So it made me think about these students. Some of them are going to college for the first time. But others are going to college to further their education. They are trying to better themselves.

Well, you may not be going back to college, but let me ask you this: Are you continuing to better yourself? Everybody has gifts and talents – Things that they are good at doing. A teacher, for example – Not everyone can be one, and you remember the ones that were really good for the rest of your life. If you have children, you want them to have the best education possible, so naturally you want a teacher who has a talent and a gift for teaching. Well, teachers always have to work on bettering themselves. They have to go for what’s called CEU’s (Continuing Education Units) so they can improve themselves as teachers.

People in general should try to better themselves, too. But a supporter particularly – You need to better yourself not just as a supporter, though, because that’s only part of who you are. But you need to continually better yourself as a person, too. Your whole life should not be revolving around your loved one’s bipolar disorder. Otherwise it just might overwhelm you. You should have outside interests as well. You need to examine yourself and ask yourself: “Am I bettering myself?” Then ask yourself: “How can I better myself today?”

When you better yourself, you can reach further goals. You can enrich your life. You will grow as a person. What do you enjoy doing? You can start there. It can even help you and your loved one financially. Many bipolar supporters (as well as survivors) start their own home businesses.

It helps with the cost of bipolar disorder, if nothing else. Do you like dogs? Maybe you can become a dog walker. Are you good with children? Maybe you can start a home babysitting or day care service. What are you interested in? Do you like to read? Join a reading club at your local library. Do you like to help other people? Maybe you can volunteer your services to help others. Or maybe you would like to go to (or go back to) college to take a course or two.

All of these are ways that you can better yourself. Bettering yourself is a way to increase your self-esteem as well. People who do this are always growing. And that’s definitely an advantage if you’re supporting a loved one with bipolar disorder.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

 

Dave

 

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:

Imaging in mental health and improving the diagnostic process
DO> Interesting study, don’t you agree?

Reaching out to people in great need of a helping hand
DO> You’ll find this place is a big help.

Quit-Smoking Programs Work for Psychiatric Patients
DO> Unique study, don’t you think?

Creativity common bipolar trait
DO> Did you know this about bipolar?

A Molecular Link Between Schizophrenia and Bipolar Disorder
DO> Information good for you to know.

Medication caution for children at bipolar risk
DO> Important study for you, especially if you have children.

Researchers identify biomarkers for possible blood test to predict …
DO> Don’t you think this study is important?

Bipolar subtype upsets treatment guideline congruence
DO> Interesting study, don’t you agree?

Children on antipsychotics have threefold risk for diabetes
DO> Did you know this about your child’s medication?

Bipolar onset age forecasts depressive problems
DO> Good information for you to know.

Brain scans reveal differences in depression and bipolar disorder …
DO> Don’t you think this is an interesting study?

For these stories and more, please visit:

POST RESPONSES TO THE NEWS HERE

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

 

Dave

Hi,

Today I want to talk about being a cheerleader (can you be one?). Whether it’s high school, college, or pro football, they always have cheerleaders. And what do cheerleaders do? They encourage the team. They excite the audience in the grandstands. They perform for your entertainment. They are a necessary part of any football game.

Just watch some of the cheerleaders and how they act (perform) at the next football game you watch or go to. You will always see them smiling. They have a lot of energy. They take their job seriously. And they do the best they can to encourage the team as well as the people in the stands.

Let me ask you: Are you a cheerleader for your loved one with bipolar disorder? Because sometimes you need to be. It’s a cheerleader’s responsibility to encourage – To keep the team and the people from getting discouraged, no matter how bleak the outlook. They believe in the team that they are representing. They are behind them 100%. They do their best to show a positive attitude. Their actions, like cheering on the crowd, show their positive attitude.

I know you weren’t called to be a cheerleader. It probably doesn’t come to you naturally. You probably never thought you would be called upon to be a cheerleader in your life. But there are times that your loved one needs you to be a cheerleader for them. Think about what I just said about the qualities of a cheerleader. They believe in their team. You should believe in your loved one. They are behind them 100%. You should be behind your loved one 100% too. They have a positive attitude, no matter how bleak things look. You can maintain a positive attitude, if you try. If that’s hard for you, then just rejoice with your loved one in small victories – Like every day they go without a bipolar episode (which is a big victory, actually). A cheerleader’s actions show that they take their job seriously. So should your actions.

 

Be a good supporter. By being the best supporter you can be, you can show your loved one that “cheerleader” in you. Sometimes your loved one can get discouraged, especially if stability doesn’t seem to be coming very easily for them. But knowing you are “backing” them can help with that discouragement, especially if you are being encouraging yourself. Times will be tough, like when your loved one goes into an episode. You know that can happen at any time, right? But if they know you’re going to be there for them, it will make things much easier.

 

Be an encourager. Be a good supporter. Be there for your loved one. Have a positive attitude. Your loved one will appreciate your “cheerleading” efforts more than you know.

 

Well, I have to go!

 

Your Friend,

 

Dave

 

Hi,

Lots of people complain about bankers, Wall Street, etc. Many say that ALL of these people are crooks and that they’re evil. This is not the case. ALL bankers are not crooks. ALL banks are not dishonest. It’s just SOME. People that say these things are just generalizing about it. Maybe they just had one bad experience with a banker, like they got turned down for a loan or something, so now they’re saying that all bankers are bad. Or they lost money in the stock market, and they need someone to blame it on. Or they’re struggling financially, or lost their job, so they’re blaming it on the economy.

People with bipolar disorder can learn a lesson from this. They say the same thing about therapists, doctors, and hospitals, too. They say that they’re all bad. But all therapists are not bad.

All doctors are not bad. And all hospitals are not bad. Just SOME of them. Know what I mean?

Those who say that all doctors, therapists, and hospitals are bad? Same thing. Someone might have had a bad experience with a doctor. Maybe they even really did have a bad doctor, or even a bad therapist. But that doesn’t mean that they are ALL bad. And every hospital can’t be bad, can it? Just SOME.

If your loved one has a bad doctor, they need to find a good one. And if they have a bad therapist, they need to find a good one. Because these two professionals are very important to their stability with bipolar disorder. It’s their responsibility to find and have a good medical and mental health professional who is really out for their own good. Although you can help them, as their supporter. They shouldn’t stay with someone who isn’t helping them, because then they won’t get better. They shouldn’t stay with them just because they’re afraid to change doctors or therapists. They need to think about what’s best for themselves.

If they’re not sure if their doctor and/or therapist is good or bad, maybe they can take you with them to their next appointment. You might have a more objective point of view than your loved one does. You might be able to tell better than your loved one can whether their doctor or therapist is a good one or a bad one, or whether they are right or wrong for your loved one.

Remember, though, that not all doctors, therapists, and hospitals are bad. I am NOT saying for your loved one to change their doctor or therapist if they are working for them. Again, I am NOT saying that ALL doctors and therapists are bad. If their doctor and therapist are working out for them, great! And if they have found a hospital that takes care of them when they’re in an episode and treats them well, then even greater!

I just want you to be aware, and make sure that your loved one’s professionals are looking out for their best interests, because that’s what they are there for.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

 

Dave

 

 

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:

Childhood adversity raises psychopathology risk medwire
DO> Interesting study, don’t you agree?

Suit Filed Alleging Contra Costa Juvenile Hall Students Kept in
DO> This news will shock you.

State setting up new system to help expensive patients Utica Observer Dispatch
DO> Good information for you to know.

When Doctors Discriminate New York Times
DO> This isn’t very fair, do you think?

For mentally ill children in NC, a weak network of services Charlotte Observer
DO> This boy’s story will be concerning for you.

Lithium can reduce suicide risk in bipolar disorder Telemanagement
DO> Important study, don’t you think?

New data reveal extent of genetic overlap between major mental
DO> Important information for you to know.

Preventing manic episodes ‘key to work success’
DO> I bet you didn’t know this information.

More research needed on late-life mania
DO> Interesting study, don’t you agree?

Klein Michael Thaxton, Pa. Hostage-Taker Who Posted On
DO> Do you think his sentence is fair?

Brain ‘Folds’ May Predict If Medications Will Help Psychosis
DO> Important study, don’t you think?

For these stories and more, please visit:

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

 

Dave

Hi,

Today I want to talk about CHANGE. There’s this sort of anecdote that talks about how a woman married a man for who he was, then immediately started changing him into who she wanted him to be. Then she wasn’t happy, because he was no longer the man she married! It’s supposed to be funny, but there is a ring of truth in it.

As a supporter, you are many things to your loved one. You wear many hats, so to speak. So it’s important that you keep your sense of identity because of it. You have to stay fundamentally “you,” or you may fall into the CHANGE TRAP. Many supporters with loved ones who have bipolar disorder do fall into this trap.

The Change Trap is when you are so frustrated with your loved one and their bipolar disorder, specifically when your loved one is not well, that you try to change yourself to change the situation. But the trap has you believing that by your changing, your loved one will get better, which is NOT true. There’s a difference between changing to adapt to a situation (i.e., learning to adapt) and actually trying to change yourself to change the situation.

When it comes to bipolar disorder, you cannot change the disorder. It is what it is. When it comes to your loved one, you cannot change them. They are who and what they are.

It’s like the Serenity Prayer:

Lord, grant me the serenity to
Accept the things I cannot change
Courage to change the things I can
And wisdom to know the difference

Yes, you have control over yourself. Yes, you have the power to change yourself. But the other things you can’t change, no matter how hard you try. See, there is good change and there is bad change. Good change is when being a supporter to a loved one with bipolar disorder brings out the caretaker in you, and you become a super supporter.

Bad change is changing yourself to try to change the bipolar disorder. The change trap might also cause you to change yourself to try to prevent a situation (like trying to prevent episodes, which are going to happen anyway). This can come from past episodes, where you may have thought, “If only I were more attentive [understanding, supportive, a better listener, etc.], my loved one wouldn’t have gone into this episode. Then you start overcompensating by being overly-attentive, etc. Bad change is letting guilt cause you to change yourself.

Changing yourself might cause problems in your relationship as well – Like in that anecdote.

Your loved one accepts you for who you are. They do not expect you to be someone you’re not.

If you change too much (even though your motive is to please your loved one), they may feel that you’ve become a stranger to them, and then you may have problems with the relationship in general, and communication specifically. Your loved one may feel that they can no longer talk to you or open up to you, which can cause further problems. You need to stay fundamentally YOU.

You can change to adapt to the situation (good change), but not change who you are (bad change).

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

 

Dave

 

Hi,

I have a friend who goes to a 12-Step program, and he said that they have a saying: “Be a part of your own life.” I think that’s cool. But I can definitely relate it to bipolar disorder, because I’ve run across people who aren’t a part of their own life.

For example, here’s an email I received from a supporter:

“Dave,

I am fed up. I know it’s probably wrong to say that, and it may make me be a bad supporter, but I’m sick and tired of doing everything for my wife. I mean, she doesn’t work or anything, so I’m talking about things like keeping the house clean, doing laundry, cooking, and stuff like that. Stuff she can do. I shouldn’t have to do these things for her. Bipolar disorder can’t be that bad, can it? I’m just finding out about it, but I can’t believe that it’s ok for someone with bipolar disorder to not do things for themselves, even if they do get depressed once in a while. I want a partner, who will give her opinion. That’s what she was like before, when we first got married. It was one of the things I liked about her. Now I have to make all the decisions by myself. She just doesn’t care. I want my wife to get better. I can’t keep going on like this.”

——————————————————————————————————————–

You wouldn’t believe how often I hear this same complaint. Inactivity can lead to depression, and depression lead to a bipolar depressive episode, and before you know it, things are out of control.

I’m not judging this man as a good or bad supporter. But, in my opinion, he is doing something wrong. I believe he is enabling his wife. Oh, I’m not saying that she doesn’t have a responsibility for the way things are, because she does, bipolar or not. But he is also doing those things for her that she can do for herself, and that’s enabling.

What would happen if he started making her do some of those things? It might just bring her out of her depression. Understandably, from her point of view, the bipolar disorder makes you feel so bad during a depression that it’s hard enough to get from the bed to the couch, much less clean up the whole house!

So what’s the answer for this man? Well, for one thing…Like I said, he needs to stop enabling his wife. Another thing is that he needs to communicate his thoughts and feelings to her. She may not even be aware of the things that she’s doing, or how upset she is making her husband.

He really needs to talk to her and tell her how he’s feeling. He also needs to understand that she can’t read his mind, so nothing is going to change unless he talks to her about it.

But as far as the wife goes, here’s what I suggest:

 

1. Be present in your own life.

 

2. Don’t expect others to do everything for you – do those things for yourself that you can.

 

3. Be an independent thinker. Express your opinions, thoughts, and feelings.

 

4. Don’t expect your supporter to be a mind-reader.

 

5. Don’t expect your doctor, psychiatrist, and/or therapist to be mind-readers, either. They only know what you tell them.

 

6. Be a team player with your support system – like a football player shows up for the game, whether he is 1st string or 2nd string – he is prepared.

 

7. Be prepared for mood swings – have a plan for when they happen (especially if it means you have to go to the hospital).

 

8. Be productive – even if you can’t work outside the home, start a home business, or do volunteer work. At least do those things around the house that you can do.

 

9. Use your skills and gifts to benefit others. This is the best way to keep from feeling

sorry for yourself.

 

10. Be a part of your own recovery. Be your own watchdog – look for mood shifts,

patterns, and signs and symptoms of an episode).

 

Well, I have to go!

 

Your Friend,

 

Dave

 

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews650/

Collaborative chronic care tackles comorbidity in bipolar patients medwireNews
DO> Important study, don’t you agree?

Eason Chan surprised fans with bipolar confession Yahoo! Singapore News
DO> Do you think his fear is real?

Women with manic depression more vulnerable to alcohol problems Telemanagement
DO> Isn’t this a shocking statistic?

Subjective sleep assessment reliable in bipolar disorder medwireNews
DO> Interesting study, don’t you think?

Data shows benefits of lithium Monroe News Star|
DO> Do you think the oldest is still the best?

Tom is walking tall on charity mission Milton Keynes Citizen
DO> This man’s efforts will inspire you.

Family psychopathology increases bipolar disorder risk medwireNews
DO> Important information for you to know.

Temperament affects bipolar treatment adherence medwireNews
DO> This study will interest you.

MasterChef finalist Josh Marks says he has bipolar disorder Jackson Clarion Ledger
DO> You will enjoy his video.

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews650/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

 

Your Friend,

 

Dave