Bipolar? What You Do When the Weather Changes

Hi,

Let me ask you a question: What do you do when the weather changes?

Don’t you:

• Change to winter wardrobe
• Wear a warmer coat
• Put the heat on
• Wear a hat
• Wear a scarf
• Wear gloves
• Wear boots
• Drink hot chocolate or
cocoa
• Warm up the car
• Etc.

In other words, you adapt to your changing environment. What if you didn’t adapt to your changing environment? Say, when the weather started to change? Well, you’d be pretty cold, wouldn’t you? The point is that there are signs for you. They are all around you. And you can see them. Signs that the environment around you is changing. Warnings so that you can begin to change yourself and your habits and behavior to adapt to these changes as well. If you don’t…
Well, you’ll get cold! In other words, you’ll have to pay the consequences.

For example…Let’s look at your medications. I’m talking to the survivor now. Say one day you just decide that you don’t want to take them any more. For whatever reason. After a few days, you’re going to get a warning. Something isn’t going to “feel right.” You will start to feel different. You will notice a pattern – Your moods will start to swing. Other signs and symptoms of an oncoming bipolar episode will start manifesting themselves. These are the warnings that the “weather is changing.”

If you heed these warnings, you’ll go back on your medication and everything will be ok for
you. However, if you don’t heed these warnings…Everything will not be ok for you. You could very well end up in a full-blown bipolar episode. All because you didn’t heed the warnings. Just like if you don’t heed the warnings that the weather is getting colder and turn on your heater, you’re going to get cold!

You also need to watch your triggers. If you are in dangerous territory, i.e., you observe a warning, like a trigger has been set off, be aware that a bipolar episode may follow. Then it’s up to you to do what you have to do to avoid that episode. Just like when the weather changes, you do what you have to do to prepare for that cold weather. You need to be vigilant about watching for triggers, signs and symptoms of an oncoming bipolar episode.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

 

Bipolar: Where Will You Be?

Hi,

I was thinking recently how things have been going lately and comparing it to how things have gone over the past year, and then I wondered, “Where will I be a year from now?” Good question, don’t you think? A hard one to answer, once I started thinking about it, though. When I started thinking about past years, I thought about the goals I had set for myself, those that I had
met and those that I hadn’t met. As well as those I have yet to meet.

I think it’s really important for people to set short-term and long-term goals. Especially if you’re dealing with bipolar disorder. But I also think that these goals have to be realistic. That’s why I think a lot of people fail to keep their New Year’s resolutions – because they’re usually not very realistic. So where do you think you’ll be a year from now? Think about it. Do you want to be where you are today? Because if you don’t, you’re going to need to change. You’re going to need to change some things, and most importantly, you’re going to need to change yourself.

“Don’t fix what isn’t broken,” someone once told me. Well, that’s not what I’m asking you to do.
If something is working for you, then definitely don’t change that (unless it’s harmful to you). But if something is harmful to you or your loved one, then it needs to be changed. For example, maybe you’re having problems at your job. Maybe you’re just not proactive enough. So that’s something you might want to work on and to change.

If you’ve been having problems with your loved one, say, with their medication, like if it hasn’t been working as good as it was, then maybe it’s time for a change. Have them call their doctor and tell him about it. Or if your loved one is exhibiting unacceptable behavior and you haven’t been doing anything about it up until now, you may want to change that. It may be time for you to set down some boundaries and limits for your loved one.

If you haven’t been getting very much out of your support group, you might want to think about changing support groups. Keep thinking about where you want to be a year from now. Keep that thought in mind as you consider things. If your relationship with friends and family hasn’t been
the best, then you can change that in the coming year. Do you want it to be different a year from now? Do you want it to be better? Then do something about it now.

Have you been having trouble with your loved one’s bipolar disorder? Have they not been sticking to their treatment plan? Have they been skipping doctor, psychiatrist, and/or therapist visits? Do you want it to be different at this time next year? Then start helping them to be compliant with their treatment plan now.

Have you wanted to be a better supporter? Then start now. Have you felt like you’ve been taking some things for granted? Then change that now. Maybe there are things you promised yourself that you would get to that you just haven’t done yet – that you’ve made excuses for, or haven’t made the time for. You can still do them. Just make them a priority so that next year at this
time you can say that you did them! Is there some dream or accomplishment that you’ve
been putting off? Make this year the year that you finally do it! You can do anything you want with this year! Just ask yourself: Where will I be a year from now? Where do I WANT to be a year from now? Then set goals and accomplish them according to where you want to be.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Bipolar: Fighting at Night

Hi,

Somebody made this post on my blog, and I wanted to respond to it to see what you think:

“It is so hard to be positive when my husband begins to show signs of depression. He does not
recognize it is happening and when I point it out he gets upset. Then he will begin to say bad things about my son, his stepson. I try and not answer him, I try and say we need to stop this conversation. He usually does this just at bedtime so it is not a time I can get in a car and leave. I am also exhausted and he pushes me over the edge. It is just so exhausting. He will say things that reflect what he is not accomplishing and place the fault on my children. Then he will sulk
for awhile and then apologize.. same old pattern. So very exhausting.”

———————————————————————————————————————

There are several things going on in this woman’s life all at once, so I’ll take it one issue at a time.

First, she says: “It is so hard to be positive when my husband begins to show signs of depression.” I’ve heard that before. In fact, I’ve experienced it myself when I was trying to deal with my mom and her bipolar disorder. But what I had to do was keep my own self and my mood separate from hers. No matter what was going on with her, I had to not let it touch what was happening with me.

Now, I’m not saying that’s easy. It’s not. But in general I’m a positive person. And I had to try to stay positive and not let what was happening with my mom bring me down. So that’s what you have to do. Even though it’s hard, you need to try to stay positive even when your loved one gets depressed. Don’t let their bad mood influence your good one. Keep a good attitude even if theirs is bad. It will help if you maintain a positive outlook on things, no matter what your loved one’s outlook is, especially if they have a negative one.

Then this woman goes on to say that it’s hard because “He does not recognize it is happening
and when I point it out he gets upset.” That’s common with a loved one with bipolar disorder.
One of the things you need to do in your role as a bipolar supporter is to point out bipolar behavior in your loved one, such as depression. You need to do this so they can avoid a full-blown bipolar episode. In this way you can work as a team to help manage their bipolar disorder, and that’s an important aspect.

But that doesn’t mean that they’re always going to like it when you point these things out.
Sometimes they may even be in denial. Sometimes they may even want to blame someone
else for their behavior, as this man does. This is common.

She says: “I try and not answer him, I try and say we need to stop this conversation.” These are both good approaches when your loved one is exhibiting inappropriate behavior. But look at WHEN he does it: At bedtime. When she is exhausted. This can almost be seen as manipulative.
Which is one of the biggest problems that supporters have with loved ones who have bipolar disorder. He picks a time when she almost can’t “fight back.” A time when she can’t get in the car and leave. A time when she has to listen to what he has to say. This is NOT working as a team.

So what can she do? I think she needs to call him on this behavior, and tell him that from now on she will not discuss issues with him at bedtime, and that she will NOT listen to him if he chooses to talk to her then, but she will listen to him at another time. Then she needs to stick to this limit.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

 

Current Bipolar News

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews661/

Obesity may aggravate bipolar neuropathology
DO> Interesting study, don’t you agree?

Troy Gillem Gives Hope to Bipolar Sufferers in New Guide
DO> You’ll want to get this book.

Manic episodes worsen clinical insight
DO> Important study, don’t you think?

A Molecular Link Between Schizophrenia and Bipolar Disorder
DO> Did you know about this link?

Ohio mother with bipolar disorder tries to suffocate baby to death
DO> This woman’s story will shock you.

Prompt intervention helps young bipolar patients at discharge
DO> Some good information for you to know.

Local bipolar teen restrained and secluded in school for years wants …
DO> You will find this boy’s story very interesting.

A New Comic Book Confronts Bipolar Disorder, Our Notions Of The …
DO> This comic book should interest you.

New Rochelle sued for $21M in shooting death of Samuel Cruz
DO> Do you think they should have sued?

Bipolar Treatment Study Assesses Psychotherapy Efficacy
DO> You’ll find this to be an interesting study.

Postpartum diagnostic switches likely in depressed women
DO> Good information for you to know, especially if you plan to have children.

Multifactorial approach needed for early bipolar detection
DO> Important information you need to know.

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews661/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Bipolar: Refuse to Believe This About Yourself

Hi,

Remember when you were little and you were always scared of the boogie man? We all were.

Why were we so scared, though? Because we’re afraid of things we can’t see. We’re afraid of things we don’t understand. Like STIGMA. The stigma of bipolar disorder is like the boogie man because when you’re growing up, you’re taught to fear things you don’t understand, to fear things that you can’t see or don’t understand. When people can’t see mental illness, they fear it.

It’s taught to them from childhood. So what we’ve got to do is educate people to let them know that the boogie man isn’t so scary. That’s one of the best ways we can fight stigma. But you need to refuse to believe this about bipolar disorder – That the stigma makes you a lesser person.

Don’t believe the stigma, and you won’t be a victim of it. Change the way you see yourself, and others will change the way they see you (you will no longer be a victim). See what I mean?

Stigma is a perception of someone else’s state of mind. Someone else cannot make you feel inferior because of their feelings. By you knowing who you are, what you are capable of, what they believe is their own problem, not yours. You’ve got to look at the person first before you look at the symptoms, before you look at the illness. If someone isn’t capable of that, that’s not your problem, and you shouldn’t allow them to affect you in a manner that’s going to prove them right.

The way you view yourself should not be dependent upon the way others view you, anyway.

Here’s a perfect scenario: If you see someone in a wheelchair, how do you feel? Do you feel sorry for them? Do you have pity on them? Do they want you to have pity on them? Or do they want to feel the same as you are? Having bipolar disorder is like being that person in the wheelchair. You want people to see through the outside to the person you are inside. You want people to see that, like the person in the wheelchair, you are like them. They just can’t see the part of your body where your illness lies. Even though our background and circumstances may

have influenced who we are, we are still responsible for who we become. It is your choice whether you are seen as a victim of stigma or not.

Here’s what I’m talking about. It’s a quote from a Jewish man named Victor Frankl, who was a prisoner in a concentration camp. “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” Now, if anyone could have chosen to be a victim of stigma, it would have been Frankl, yet he chose what he wrote. You have to know that you don’t have to be a victim of stigma, and you cannot allow yourself to be one. Like Frankl, you can choose your own attitude about it. You can choose to be a role model for other people with bipolar disorder. You can choose to educate those people who are still scared, who don’t understand. You can choose to help other people with the disorder stand up for themselves so that they aren’t victims, either.

To succeed where in the past you may have failed, to be stable when you weren’t before, gives you the confidence to look someone in the eye and say, “You’re wrong.” Success with bipolar disorder means to prove them wrong about you – that you are not a victim, but a survivor.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

 

Dave

 

Bipolar: Good and Bad Starts

Hi,

I’m sure you’ve read about people who have started off with not much in life, or had really bad starts in life, but rose above their bad backgrounds to become successful in spite of them? Well, it’s like the same thing can happen with bipolar disorder. Or, at least, specifically, getting the diagnosis of bipolar disorder.

How come one person can get the diagnosis of bipolar disorder and never seem to rise above
it…Learning how to manage it…Becoming stable…Becoming high-functioning…Becoming productive…Becoming happy…Becoming successful.

While another person with the same diagnosis of bipolar disorder never seems to rise above it…Never learning how to manage it…Going from episode to episode…Never becoming high functioning…Never becoming stable…Never becoming productive…Never becoming happy…Never becoming successful.

What’s the difference?

See…First you get the diagnosis of bipolar disorder, and then you have to ask yourselves: Where do we go from here? And then it’s basically up to you and your loved one. They can choose to be in denial, for one thing. And that will cause them to fail at stability. In other words…They can deny that they even have bipolar disorder. They can say that the doctor/psychiatrist is wrong about them.

Or they might take the medication until they feel better, and then believe that they’re “cured…” And then want to stop their medication. That’s a form of denial, too. A very dangerous form. Because if they stop their medication, they’ll go into a bipolar episode.

Maybe not right away, because the medication may stay in their system for a while, but it will happen. Because one of the things about bipolar disorder is that there is NO cure for it at the moment. (so even though they “feel better,” they are NOT cured). But there IS treatment. And treatment consists of medication and therapy.

But they need to stay on that medication so they continue to feel better and so that their mood swings are regulated and they stay out of bipolar episodes. Without that medication, that just isn’t going to happen.

And they will fail at their efforts at stability. Pure and simple. But the person who continues to take their medication and comply with treatment, WILL succeed at stability.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

 

Current Bipolar News

 

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews660/

DSM-IV insufficient for bipolar disorder diagnosis
DO> Important study, don’t you agree?

Kraepelin distinctions back in favor
DO> Interesting study, don’t you think?

Pregnant smoking may have mood consequences for offspring
DO> Important information if you want to have children.

Imaging may unlock new mental illness diagnosis options
DO> Good information for you to know.

Ore. diabetic refused insulin, civilly committed
DO> This man’s decision will shock you.

Eye movement test to check for psychiatric disorders wins award
DO> Don’t you think this is a deserving award?

Mixed state impedes remission in bipolar depression
DO> Don’t you think this is an important study?

Bipolar risk markers identified in depressed ADHD children
DO> Important information, especially if you have children.

Manic episodes worsen clinical insight
DO> This study gives good information for you.

Substance abuse linked to bipolar suicide risk
DO> Startling statistic, don’t you agree?

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews660/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Bipolar: Which is More Important to You?

Hi,

I recently was asked this question: “Which is more important, to be right or to be happy?” I thought about this question because of this situation: A friend of mine from the gym was talking to me about his relationship with his girlfriend. See, they keep getting into these fights, and he
just doesn’t understand why they keep getting into them. A small misunderstanding can turn into the biggest fight for them!

So he was telling me about some of the things they have fought over, and you know what? I agree with him! I wouldn’t understand how it happened, either. Except for one thing. I know this guy. I know that he LOVES to be right. And sometimes, if he disagrees with you, he won’t
stop trying to make you admit you’re wrong (whether you really are or not) and give in to him. So I can definitely see how there might be communication problems with his girlfriend and why they would fight so much.

So he asks me, “Which is more important – to be right or to be happy?” Hmmm…. I had to think about that one for all of about 2 seconds! I know a couple who dealt with this same problem, only BOTH of them have bipolar disorder, so it was even harder for them. So they had to come up with something to “fix” their communication because they were fighting all the time, many times because neither of them would give in. Each of them firmly believed that they were right.

So what do you do in that situation? This is what they did: AGREE TO DISAGREE They both decided it was better to be happy than to be right. She even teases him and says things like, “Ok,
you can be right this time!” LOL Agreeing to disagree is all about compromise. If you still feel you have to be right, and/or you won’t stop until the other person “gives in,” like my friend, then you are not going to have good communication. And neither of you is going to be very happy.

Whereas, if you agree to disagree, you can each maintain your feeling that you are right, but you
compromise anyway. This is really important in any relationship, not just one in which one of the people has bipolar disorder.

How would you answer this question if I asked you, “Which is more important – to be right or to be happy?” I think when it’s written out in black and white like that, the answer is obvious. But an unwillingness to compromise, or AGREE TO DISAGREE, is the reason that many people in
bipolar relationships fight so often.

If you agree to disagree, you are showing respect to the other person, and basically telling them that you acknowledge that they have a right to believe what they believe and/or feel what they feel. Which is more important to you? AGREE TO DISAGREE can be such an important
part to good communication. But you have to agree with the philosophy. Then you have to practice it.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

 

Current Bipolar News

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews659/

Study: One in three teens with bipolar disorder develop substance …
DO> Interesting study, don’t you agree?

Affective dimensions aid bipolar disorder diagnosis
DO> Important study, don’t you think?

Alcohol use disorders prevalent in bipolar disorder patients
DO> Good information for you to know.

Former Williamsburg firefighter arrested in burglary, assault
DO> You’ll find this man’s story shocking.

Smoking in Pregnancy May Be Tied to Bipolar Disorder in Adult …
DO> Important information if you plan to have children.

NAC amino acid offers a potential therapeutic alternative in …
DO> Don’t you think this is important information?

Bipolar disorder ‘distinct’ from borderline personality disorder
DO> Did you know these differences?

High bipolar medication adherence not elusive
DO> Did you know this could make such a difference?

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews659/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Bipolar: You Are a Teacher

Hi,

Remember when you were in school? Was it a positive or negative experience for you? I hope it was a positive one. Do you still remember your favorite teacher? Why? Because they had some special quality that you admired? Because they made a boring class fun? Because you learned so much from them? These or any number of answers could be the reason why you still remember your favorite teacher.

But I want you to think of being a teacher in a different way today. I want you to think of yourself as a teacher. You are, you know. If you have bipolar disorder or are supporting someone
who does, you are teaching every time you go out the door of your home. You teach others what it is like to be someone with a mental illness or to support someone who does. There is an expression: “You teach people how to treat you.”

If you have bipolar disorder and are stable, you will act a certain way. In fact, I know someone who has the disorder, but if you didn’t know better, you’d never know it. That’s stable behavior.
And if you can be like that, you teach people that people that have bipolar disorder can be just as “normal” as they are. You teach them that adversity can be overcome. You teach them that bipolar disorder is NOT a death sentence! You teach them that someone with the disorder can be high functioning. If you have started your own home business, you teach your clients/customers that you are a good business person (in spite of having bipolar disorder).

If you are a supporter, you can teach other supporters. Just by virtue of the fact that you don’t complain about your situation, makes you a good supporter example. You teach them that bipolar disorder can be lived with on a daily basis. You teach them that the disorder doesn’t have to rule your life. You teach them that being a good supporter is possible. You may even teach them some of your methods or strategies for dealing with it.

But in either case, whether you are someone with bipolar disorder or supporting someone who does, you are being a teacher – Because you are teaching them what bipolar disorder looks
like. You are putting a face on the disorder, in other words. And people need to see that to truly understand the disorder. Now, that can be good or bad, depending how you look at it.

If you have it and are stable, you teach people that someone with bipolar disorder can act normally. If you have it but aren’t stable, you paint a different picture. You teach them that it’s a struggle to be stable. Your bipolar behavior may make you stand out. And you may be the only person they know with bipolar disorder, so they will judge all other people with the disorder
by you and your behavior.

Stigma is a horrible thing, and has hurt many people with bipolar disorder. But if you can keep your bipolar behavior positive, you can teach people that you can cope with having it. That anyone can.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave