Bipolar: Getting a Gold Star

Hi,

Do you remember that little foil gold star that you used to get in kindergarten or first grade for doing something right or good? Or maybe your parents even had a chore chart for you at home for which you got gold stars if you completed your chores? Do you remember how good you felt getting those little gold stars? It felt great, didn’t it? You’d do anything to get those little stars.

Well…Those stars are called: INCENTIVE. An incentive is sort of a reward for doing something. It’s like motivation that makes you want to do that thing.

So…the motivation or incentive your loved one has for doing the right things with their bipolar disorder would be to get stable, and I’ve sometimes shared what some of those things would be.

Your incentive now wouldn’t be gold stars any more…but it would be to see your loved one get better with their bipolar disorder. So you do the things you think would help them best. And if what you’re doing isn’t working, you try something else. And you keep trying things until something works.

Because you want to “get that gold star” – you want to see your loved one get better. That’s your incentive to do the things you do.

Well…your loved one should have their incentive as well. They should want to get stable. The key here is “should,” however. And that doesn’t always work. Sometimes their bipolar disorder gets the better of them, unfortunately. And they don’t always do what they should do for their stability.

Like they should take their medication religiously in order to stay stable. That’s like a “rule” in the bipolar business. But some people with the disorder do go off their medications sometimes for various reasons, and then they get unstable, and get out of control, and their symptoms manifest themselves again, and bipolar behaviors come back…And before you know it, they’re in an episode again.

Then there’s nothing to do but get them back on their medications and start all over again. And hope that this time they’ll stay on them.

There’s a saying that: “You can lead a horse to water…but you can’t make him drink.” And that’s true, but, I’ve also heard that: “You can’t make him drink…But you CAN make the water salty.” That way, he’ll WANT to drink the water! In other words, you can provide incentives for your loved one to want to stay stable.

Like tell them if they stay stable for a month, you can go out to their favorite restaurant or something. Or they can go shopping and pick out something they want. Or if they stay stable for six months, maybe you can travel somewhere. Whatever would be a good incentive for them.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

 

Current Bipolar News

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews696/

Negative Life Experiences May Contribute to Bipolar Disorder
DO>These results make you think, don’t they?

Same Brain Circuits Linked With Psychosis in Two Disorders
DO> Important study, don’t you think?

Variable neurocognitive functioning seen in euthymic bipolar patients
DO> Interesting study, don’t you agree?

Patients in new DSM-5 bipolar category ‘deserve attention’
DO> This study reveals something very interesting.

14-Year-Old Boy Killed Bullying Classmate Who Demanded Cell Phone Back
DO> This is a tragic story, you’ll find.

Newly Released Interactive Online Medical Simulation Helps Clinicians Better Recognize and …
DO> What do you think of this medical simulation?

Low Cortisol Levels Increase Depression Risk in Bipolar Patients
DO> This is an interesting result, don’t you think?

Brain activation differences hint at developing course of bipolar disorder
DO> Good study, wouldn’t you say?

Antidepressant risk in bipolar patients limited to monotherapy use
DO> Wouldn’t you say this is an important study?

The Facebook posts of Bipolar patients to be studied to monitor signs of relapse
DO> This is a world-first study using Facebook.

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews696/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Current Bipolar News

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews696/

Negative Life Experiences May Contribute to Bipolar Disorder
DO>These results make you think, don’t they?

Same Brain Circuits Linked With Psychosis in Two Disorders
DO> Important study, don’t you think?

Variable neurocognitive functioning seen in euthymic bipolar patients
DO> Interesting study, don’t you agree?

Patients in new DSM-5 bipolar category ‘deserve attention’
DO> This study reveals something very interesting.

14-Year-Old Boy Killed Bullying Classmate Who Demanded Cell Phone Back
DO> This is a tragic story, you’ll find.

Newly Released Interactive Online Medical Simulation Helps Clinicians Better Recognize and …
DO> What do you think of this medical simulation?

Low Cortisol Levels Increase Depression Risk in Bipolar Patients
DO> This is an interesting result, don’t you think?

Brain activation differences hint at developing course of bipolar disorder
DO> Good study, wouldn’t you say?

Antidepressant risk in bipolar patients limited to monotherapy use
DO> Wouldn’t you say this is an important study?

The Facebook posts of Bipolar patients to be studied to monitor signs of relapse
DO> This is a world-first study using Facebook.

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews696/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Bipolar: One Thing Not Talked About

Hi,

There are many subjects that we talk about when it comes to your loved one’s bipolar disorder:

• Medications
• Support System
• Treatment
• Stability
• Recovery
• Helping Self
• Relationships
• Communication
• Mood Swings
• Irrational Behavior
• Bipolar Episodes
• Triggers
• Symptoms
• Etc.

But there is one subject that everyone seems to avoid…That no one seems to want to talk about. That subject is: SEX. Do we really want to talk about this? Yes, I think we need to. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about. And it is a VERY common problem area when it comes to bipolar disorder. One that you are probably struggling with right now.

But you may not have talked to your doctor or therapist about it for one or another reason. Most people are embarrassed by it, for one thing. Others blame the problem on themselves. Some just ignore it, thinking it will solve itself given enough time. Unfortunately, these are not good solutions to a very real problem.

Like I said…A very common problem. So the first thing you need to know is: You are not alone.
Other supporters have dealt with this problem before you. So if you are particularly close with another person in your support group, you might want to broach the subject with them, as they have probably dealt with it. Ask them what they did about it.

You can always bring the subject up with your loved one’s doctor or psychiatrist. You will find out that the biggest cause of problems in the sexual area with people who have bipolar disorder is due to medication. If the doctor/psychiatrist is aware of the problem, he can then work with your loved one’s medication. Or he may be able to prescribe another medication to help with the problem.

Sometimes the problem with sex is due to poor self-esteem. This could be due to the weight gain from the bipolar medications. That can also cause a disinterest in sex for your loved one. They may feel bad about themselves or their body because they feel fat. This is also something that the doctor may be able to help with. He may be able to switch your loved one to one of the bipolar medications that do not make them gain weight.

Seeing a therapist can also help your loved one here. They can help your loved one with issues of self-esteem and accepting that the weight gain is just a side effect that they have to accept. As they learn to accept it, their interest in sex may be restored.

The main thing to know is that your loved one’s lack of sex drive or other problem with sex is not necessarily related to you. It is not your fault, but most likely due to their bipolar medication.
Have them talk to their doctor/psychiatrist about the problem, as they may be able to help.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

 

Current Bipolar News

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews695/

Researchers identify regulation process of protein linked to bipolar disorder
DO> Important study, don’t you think?

Alabama woman who set fire to home sentenced
DO> Do you agree with this sentence?

Alcohol, substance abuse doubles suicide risk in bipolar disorder
DO> Interesting study, don’t you agree?

Cognitive decline not apparent in bipolar patients
DO> This study reveals something very interesting.

Arsonist sent to federal pen:UPDATED
DO> Do you think this sentence is fair?

Dallas police kill man armed with screwdriver
DO> It’s frightening that this could happen to someone.

Low cortisol levels may increase risk of depression in bipolar disorder
DO> These results make you think, don’t they?

New hope for people suffering from depression
DO> This study gives people hope.

Patients in new DSM-5 bipolar category ‘deserve attention’
DO> Good study, wouldn’t you say?

Study finds difference in way bipolar disorder affects brains of children versus adults
DO> You’ll find this study very interesting.

Variable neurocognitive functioning seen in euthymic bipolar patients
DO> Some interesting information in this study.

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews695/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Bipolar: Letting the Rest Go

Hi,

If you have children, you’ll understand this…When your children were little, did you do this:
When they wouldn’t do as well at something as they wanted to (or as you would have liked them
to), did you say: “Well, at least you did your best.”

Or, even if you don’t have children…Maybe your parents said that to you to try to encourage
you at times when that happened to you. Good parents say that to their children: “Just try your best.”

That’s usually all they require. They just want you to try your best, even if you don’t always succeed. So you try your best and…Let the rest go. That’s all you can do sometimes. Especially when you’re dealing with a loved one with bipolar disorder.

If you don’t learn to just try your best and let the rest go, you’re going to burn out. See…The emphasis is on letting the rest go here. You can’t do everything right, and you have to accept that. You’re not always going to have all the answers. And that can be frustrating sometimes.

I know…I went through it with my mother. And it was frustrating that sometimes I would think
I had the answer, and then that would just stop working! And then I would have to try something else. And that would be frustrating too.

So I had to learn the lesson about only trying my best and letting the rest go. Or else I would’ve driven myself crazy! And I don’t want you to go there. I don’t want you to burn out, either. See…There are no hard and fast rules when it comes to bipolar disorder. Unfortunately. I mean, when it comes to being a supporter.

There are when you have the disorder. Like, there is a hard and fast rule that you have to take
your medication every day. That’s a given. That’s an easy rule. But no one set down rules in a book that a supporter can follow that would make things easy for us. A lot of what we go through is just trial and error. And that can be really hard sometimes.

Some of what we do that works with our loved ones we get from other supporters who have tried things that have worked with their loved ones. And that can help. But largely we’re on our own.
And we have to find out what works with our own loved one.

And even with that there are problems. Like sometimes what worked yesterday may not work
today. So you have to change your approach. You have to try something different. Again…
All you can do is your best…And let the rest go. Or you will end up really frustrated.

You have to keep trying to hold onto your positive attitude, and keep believing that something you will try will work with your loved one.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

 

Bipolar: Choreography and Footwork

Hi,

Have you ever seen a ballet? Or a dance with great choreography in it? The reason they’re so beautiful is that everyone knows the steps. And the steps are all synchronized. The dancers work together. They all do the footwork necessary to make the dance come off in harmony. And to the audience…They make it look so easy. That’s the beauty of it.

But the audience doesn’t know how much time and practice actually went into it. They don’t know what it took to actually do the footwork. That’s what I want to talk to you about today:
Doing the footwork.

See…I think that one of the reasons that many people who are trying to cope and deal with bipolar disorder don’t succeed is that they’re waiting for other people to do things for them that they could be doing for themselves.

Here’s an example:

I’ve heard countless sad but true stories of people who didn’t take medication for their bipolar disorder and just kept getting worse and worse and going from episode to episode and hospitalization to hospitalization (and sometimes even jail) because they said they just couldn’t get their medication, usually because they couldn’t afford it.

But let me tell you a couple instances of the opposite. True stories that involve Michele, who works for me, that happened to her and her mother, who also has bipolar disorder.

Here’s the first case: Michele’s mom is on Seroquel, a very expensive bipolar medication. And she’s on Social Security, so she can’t afford the medication. Well, Michele helped her apply to Astra Zeneca, the drug manufacturer of Seroquel, who has a program called AZ and Me, that helps people who can’t afford their medication. Michele’s mom now gets her Seroquel for only
$25 per month.

Now Michele’s case: Michele is on Geodon, perhaps the most expensive bipolar medication on the market, so she definitely couldn’t afford it, and her insurance wouldn’t cover it. She applied to RxOutreach (a Patient Assistance Program) to help her get her Geodon. Now they send a 90-day supply at a time directly to her every 3 months and she only has to pay $30. for her medication.

In both these cases, these women could have claimed that they just couldn’t afford their medication and not taken anything for their bipolar disorder. In which case they would have just gotten worse and worse, like I described before.

But Michele did the footwork and contacted the drug manufacturers and found out about their Patient Assistant Programs and got the medications for both her and her mother, with little or no cost to themselves.

That’s what happens when you do the footwork. But you just can’t expect that it’ll happen for you. You have to do it yourself. Just like your loved one won’t get better by themselves either.
They have to do the footwork. You may be able to help them get their medication, like Michele did for her mom.

But they still have to take it every day. And they have to do all the other things that lead to their stability, too. Like following their treatment plan. You can’t go to their appointments for them, for example. But if they do the footwork, they can get better.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

 

Current Bipolar News

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews694/

Predictive factors ‘raise suspicion’ for emergence of bipolar disorder
DO> Interesting study, don’t you agree?

Lithium Use in Pregnancy May Contribute to Birth Defects, Miscarriages
DO> Important study, don’t you think?

Suicide risk factors are not generalisable
DO> This study reveals something very interesting.

Don’t Ever Let Me Buy a Gun Again
DO> You will find this man’s story frightening.

Anticipated, experienced discrimination high among adults with severe mental illness
DO> Results of this study will surprise you.

Former NFL player joins Princeton community suicide awareness walk
DO> Don’t you admire this man for his courage in speaking out?

Jury clears Middletown police in fatal shooting
DO> Do you think this is right?

Children Of Bipolar Parents More Susceptible To Psychosocial Problems
DO> These results make you think, don’t they?

Cognitive decline not apparent in bipolar patients
DO> Good study, wouldn’t you say?

Alabama woman who set fire to home sentenced
DO> Do you agree with this sentence?

Alcohol, substance abuse doubles suicide risk in bipolar disorder
DO> You’ll find this to be an important study.

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews694/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Current Bipolar News

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews693/

Bipolar remission influenced by anxiety and OCD
DO> Interesting study, don’t you agree?

Man Who Disrupted Oregon Flight Gets Probation
DO> This man did a very frightening thing.

Risperdal Diabetes Link and Litigation Update
DO> Do you think this is fair?

Margaret Trudeau encourages mental health survivors to forgive themselves
DO> This famous woman has a very interesting story.

Study: Use of antipsychotic medication during pregnancy can affect babies
DO> Important study, don’t you think?

Suicide risk factors are not generalisable
DO> This study reveals something very interesting.

Trial of alleged BC serial killer focuses on mental state of young victim
DO> You’ll find this story frightening.

Predictive factors ‘raise suspicion’ for emergence of bipolar disorder
DO> Good study, wouldn’t you say?

North Portland widow said husband who killed their daughter was ‘scared he would never get better’
DO> This was a senseless tragedy, don’t you agree?

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews693/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Bipolar: Changing Intolerable Behavior

Hi,

I got this email and wanted to share it with you:

“I have a question/comment. Dave, you mention that bipolar disorder comes along with rages in several different blogs you have posted. I find this difficult to digest. I have never accepted the raging and abusing. It is simply not healthy for the family, as it affects the atmosphere of a home and makes the nervous system of the family members very unstable !

Someone with bipolar should be held to the same standards as someone without bipolar. We cannot walk in an AT&T store and rage and threaten and get away with it, nor would we want to. We cannot throw chairs and typewriters or get up in peoples faces, just because we feel like it, yet you write that with bipolar this is part of it. Perhaps no-one has held the bipolar person accountable for their destructive behavior. It is not normal and the minute we accept it as “well they have rages” it is us who have gone crazy.

Intolerable behavior should never be allowed, especially when it is used to manipulate you with. Family members can only take so much crap from one person. And another thing, there is a huge difference in someone who has bipolar and has episodes but realizes how they behave and wants to change their behavior or take the medications that hold that behavior in check. It is completely different when a person with bipolar et al, refuses to acknowledge how their behavior affects other people around them.

It is not normal to rage. It is not normal to verbally abuse just for sport. And it should not be tolerated in the name of “oh well, they are bipolar” or whatever. The behavior is stuck below 5 years old and that is the awful truth. You cannot have an adult relationship with someone who
behaves like a pre-kindergartener !”
——————————————————————————————————————

First of all, let me say that I agree with this person.

Now, that may sound contradictory, since I have said what they said I did at the beginning of their email, so let me defend myself here. I have said in certain blog posts that bipolar does come
with rages. Manic rages. I’m talking about manic episodes here. And it does not happen to everyone, just to many people. Now that I’ve got that straight, let me continue.

Much of what this person said in their email can be typical of a person in a bipolar manic rage.
They can fly off the handle over seemingly nothing. They can throw a tantrum in a store. They can embarrass you in public.

But one thing I think this person is missing that I do tell people is that you have to set limits and boundaries. You have to decide what is tolerable and what is intolerable behavior and then set limits and boundaries on what you will take. Then you have to set up consequences for intolerable behavior.

The person who wrote the email talked about the loved one’s behavior being stuck below that of a 5 year old. So, basically, you treat them like one. If your 5 year old threw a tantrum in a store, what would you do? Would you tolerate the behavior? Or would there be consequences for the behavior because it is intolerable behavior? Then gradually they learn not to repeat the behavior,
don’t they?

It’s the same thing with your loved one. That’s what limits, boundaries, and consequences are
for. And if they do their job, eventually your loved one will stop doing intolerable behavior and will learn to act like an adult, like anyone without bipolar disorder would act. Like the person in the email said, about holding the loved one to the same standards as anyone who does not have bipolar disorder.

They also point out that there is a huge difference in someone who has bipolar disorder but realizes that they have this behavior and need to change it and someone who doesn’t see a need to change their behavior. You can work with the one who sees that they need to change their behavior. The other one is not ready yet.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave