Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews506/

Here are the news headlines:

Erratic Sleep Points to Mental Illness
DO> Great article, what do you think?

Kicking Depression: The Politics of Mental Illness: Why I’m Not Running
DO> Hmm. What do you think of this?

Tragic Loss Motivates Mom to Educate Others on Suicide Prevention
DO> Wow this is a sad story but she is now helping people

When To Tell Him You Are Bipolar
DO> Do you agree or disagree with the points?

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews506/

==>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<==

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:

http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

Remember Halloween when you were little? It was a big deal, wasn’t it? Dressing up…

Going door to door… Getting all that candy… Going home and sorting through it all…

Eating all the best stuff first… Putting up the rest for later… Then eating pumpkin pie and pumpkin seeds…

But then the holiday was over and you put up your costume and candy and everything went back to normal again.

It’s the same way that holidays affect bipolar disorder today. You have to watch out for stressors

in your loved one, because they affect their disorder, and holidays can be a big stressor, even holidays like Halloween

Have you been in the stores lately? First we had a big push for back to school sales. We were barely over that, and then they started putting out all their sale items for Halloween. Everywhere you look there are costumes and other things for Halloween. And it can be enough to start stressing out your loved one for the holiday.

No, Halloween is not as big a holiday as some others, but it can still be enough of one to be a stressor to your loved one. There are still parties and gatherings to go to, and children that come trick- or-treating at your door. There are still events that are associated with the holiday.

And, like I said, the stores are filled with reminders of the holiday everywhere you look. There’s no getting around it.

So you have to be aware that, if your loved one is one of those people with bipolar disorder who is stressed out by holidays, that Halloween is right around the corner, and they might be starting to get stressed out by it now.

What that means is that you may see more mood swings in them than usual. They may, because of the increased stress, start to be more irritable and agitated, which means they may get angrier easier.

You need to watch them for this symptom, because increased agitation and anger/rage at its extreme can be a sign of an oncoming bipolar manic episode.

Increased stress over the holiday may also cause them to get more depressed than usual. Watch them for this symptom as well, as this can lead to a bipolar depressive episode.

Just a reminder –

Increased agitation and a “bad day” in and of themselves do not make up a bipolar episode. But you need to watch these symptoms, especially when they are combined with other bipolar symptoms, because it is when they are prolonged for days and weeks, and are combined with other bipolar symptoms, that they become bipolar episodes.

Because of this time of year, you need to be more aware of your loved one’s potential for bipolar episodes, just in case. That means that you need to be ready to be more understanding and supportive than usual. Be ready for them to exhibit more bipolar symptoms due to increased stress.

The more prepared you are, the more able you will be to keep them from going into a full-fledged bipolar episode.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

I read a quote the other day that I’d like to share with you:

“I once heard a teacher say that life is a lot like gambling in Las Vegas: you have to be present to

win. But sometimes winning entails much more than just showing up. It requires making a bet on your best, bravest self and then stretching beyond what you already believe you can do to win the jackpot of your full potential and deepest desires.”

In other words, you have to go that extra mile. Which is never easy, and sometimes demands quite a bit from you. Part of going that extra mile means making sacrifices. It’s like that quote said, it’s like “stretching beyond what you already believe you can do…”

But the quote says that if you can do that… You can “win the jackpot of your full potential and deepest desires.

So how does this relate to bipolar disorder? Well, I’m sure that one of your deepest desires is to see that your loved one gets better, even becomes stable with their bipolar disorder. That’s what most bipolar supporters want most. They want a normal life, despite their loved one’s bipolar disorder.

Sometimes that means that you have to go the extra mile in being a good supporter. Sometimes you have to stretch beyond what you think you are capable of doing and doing just a bit more to get better results. Sometimes what you think you are able to do and what you are actually able to

do with a little more effort are two different things. With a little more effort, you are able to

accomplish more than you had even thought you could accomplish.

And when your loved one sees you going that extra mile, it accomplishes two things – Number one, they appreciate you more for your effort at going the extra mile in supporting them. And number two, you are more of a role model to them, and they can go by your example, and they can go the extra mile for themselves!

Then, when they go the extra mile in their own quest for stability with their bipolar disorder, they too can “win the jackpot of [their] full potential and deepest desires” as well. They can learn from your example that sometimes it takes a little more effort to accomplish a little bit more, but that it is worth it.

Sometimes it takes a stretch of your emotional muscles, so to speak, to get where you want to get in supporting your loved one. And it takes a stretch of their emotional muscles, so to speak, to get where they want to get as far as management of their bipolar disorder goes.

Still, it is not beyond either of you. It is not asking the impossible.

Going the extra mile can sometimes mean just giving a little more effort than you might usually give. But the results can be an enormous difference.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

CONTROL. Let’s look at that word. Just by its insinuation it’s a strong word.

Webster’s dictionary defines control as, “power or authority to guide or to manage.” It also defines it as “direction, regulation, and coordination… restraint and reserve.” These state important qualities of the word CONTROL.

But today I want to look at the quality of SELF-CONTROL as it relates to bipolar disorder.

Whether you are the one with the disorder, or whether you are the supporter, self-control is an

important quality to possess.

Just look at the definition per Webster’s dictionary. “Power or authority to guide or to manage.” We all need that power and authority to guide and to manage ourselves. When it comes to bipolar disorder, you need that power and authority to guide and to manage the disorder as well.

If you are a supporter, you need that power and authority to guide and to manage your part as a

supporter to a loved one with the disorder. For example, you need the power and authority to guide and to manage the finances for your family. You also need the power and authority to guide and to manage the home environment, as you need to make it as stress-free as possible

for your loved one.

Speaking to the person who has bipolar disorder for a second here… You absolutely need self-control when it comes to dealing with your bipolar disorder. Medication and therapy can only go

so far in the management of your disorder. It is up to you to manage what you can, and self-control has something to do with that.

You need to have control over your behavior, for one thing. And you need to have control over

your choices and decisions, for another thing. Because these are the two areas where you get into trouble when you go into a bipolar episode. The more self-control you have, the less trouble the episode itself will get you into.

For example, in a manic episode, you will have a tendency to have grandiose thoughts and ideas.

You may want to act on these thoughts and ideas because of your bipolar disorder. But the greater your sense of self-control, the greater the chance that you won’t act on them, and will

make better choices and decisions, despite the bipolar disorder.

Now, to the supporter… You need to exercise self-control as well. For example, when your loved one is raging at you, which they may sometimes do in a manic episode. Your natural instinct will be to fight back, but if you exercise self-control, you won’t, and it will end the fight that much easier and may even de-escalate your loved one’s bipolar behavior.

Can you see now how necessary self-control is for both the survivor and the supporter in the management of bipolar disorder?

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

You know, if you keep things inside and let them build up, that’s not a good thing for you. If you hold everything in, letting it build up, it can even make you physically ill, if not emotionally sick.

For example, it can lead to stress, which can lead to ulcers and migraine headaches. It can affect your sleep as well, leading to problems with getting to sleep, insomnia, and staying asleep once you get to sleep. It can lead to a lowering of your immune system, which can lead to all kinds of things, such as infections and colds.

All because you hold things in. You have to find a way to let your emotions out, so this does not happen to you. Call it “having your say so” with bipolar disorder.

It’s a necessity. Unfortunately, too many supporters don’t do this, and end up sick, like I was talking about before.

Why? Because they’re afraid. That’s why they end up walking around on eggshells. They’re afraid of saying or doing something wrong and setting off their loved one. Then their loved one might get angry and turn on them in a rage and do all sorts of things, yelling and screaming at them, calling them names, etc.

And you have all kinds of feelings because of these acting out behaviors. In addition to the feelings you may normally have. It’s a lot to carry around inside you. You need to let it out.

How? By talking with your loved one. Oh, not when they are in an episode or raging, of course.

But choose a time when they are not raging or in a manic episode, when they are in a normal period, and are willing to listen to you. Try to catch them in a good mood, in other words.

Tell them that you need to talk with them about something that is important to you. That should give them some indication, at least that it’s important to you. That will make them pay attention,

at least.

Try to be gentle and non-threatening, so they aren’t defensive, as this could lead to a fight, which is what you don’t want to happen.

Use “I” sentences instead of “you” sentences. In other words, stick to “I feel” instead of “You always” or “You never,” which come off as accusing them, making them get defensive. If you stick to “I feel” (followed by a feeling word, and not the words “that you” which again, is accusatory) you can most likely avoid a fight and get your feelings across to your loved one.

Another way to couch your feelings is in a framework of “When you… then I…” For example, “When you call me names, then I feel hurt.” You are telling your loved one that, as a result of something they do, you feel a negative feeling, but you are saying it in a way that does not come off as threatening, so they are less likely to become defensive and get mad at you.

There are ways to have your say so with bipolar so that you don’t have to make yourself sick by keeping everything inside all the time – you just have to do it in a certain way.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

Have you ever heard the expression: Today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday.

It’s sort of a humorous way to look at things.

If you’re one of those people who are always worrying from day to day. If you project from one day to the next what might happen. And especially if you tend to think on the negative side of

things.

It just helps to look at things in a positive way when you’re dealing with bipolar disorder, because so much of it can be negative. But you don’t have to worry all the time, either. If you do, you’re just going to set yourself up for negative things to happen. Because you’re going to be looking for them. Enough bad things are going to happen in life all by themselves, you don’t have to help them along. To fight them, you have to think and act positively.

For example, when your loved one picks a fight with you, which can be a normal occurrence when you’re dealing with the rage of a bipolar manic episode, you can either react in a negative or a positive manner. If you react in a negative manner, it’s just going to prolong the fight. But if you react in a positive manner, it might just de-escalate your loved one’s behavior.

So what I’m talking about are things that may be inevitable, but that you can do something about just by changing your attitude about them. If you go around expecting bad things to happen, they will. You’d be a sort of magnet that bad things will be attracted to. But it can work the opposite way, too.

Like with people. Have you ever noticed that negative people seem to attract other negative people? But that positive people tend to attract other positive people? It is like a magnet sort of thing.

Think of it this way: Your positive attitude can help change a negative situation. Like the example I used of fighting with your loved one. When your loved one is negative, your being positive can have that positive kind of influence on them. Who wants to fight with someone

who won’t fight back?

Now, I never said that having a positive attitude in the face of a negative situation would be easy.

It isn’t. But it sure gets you further, and with a whole lot less stress. And, hopefully, eventually, it will turn things around for you. Hopefully, given time, your loved one will change. Hopefully, they will begin to be more like you. And hopefully, you will begin to experience more positive situations than negative ones. And, like I said, a lot less stress as a by-product as well.

Positive people just seem to be healthier, too. Probably because they have less stress, they are physically healthier.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews505/

Here are the news headlines:

AstraZeneca Launches ‘Take on Depression’ Campaign Through Facebook and Twitter

Magnets Used To Treat Patients With Severe Depression

Therapy Relieves Depression Without Medication

Pediatric Bipolar Disorder and ADHD – The Future of Diagnosis

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews505/

==>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<==

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:

http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

Do you remember back in school… There were some things that were easy to learn… And you understood them very easily. But there were other things that were harder to learn… And you didn’t understand them as easily?

It’s the same thing as you get older. As you learn new things, some things are easier to learn than others. Some things are easier to understand and some things are harder to understand. Especially when it comes to bipolar disorder.

But sometimes it isn’t easy. You may even try to be understanding and have it backfire on you.

For example, you may tell your loved one, “I understand how you feel.” And your loved one may get angry with you and say something like, “How can you say that? There’s no way you can understand how I feel, because you don’t have bipolar disorder!”

And that may be frustrating for you, because you’re trying your best to be understanding. But the fact is that you’re not always going to be able to understand everything when it comes to your loved one, because you don’t have bipolar disorder. That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t try to be understanding, though.

If your loved one has bipolar disorder, things are sometimes going to be very difficult for them.

And they will look to you to be understanding of them. Whether that is easy or hard for you,

it is something that they will expect from you.

Like I said, some things will be easy for you to understand, but other things will be harder. For example, it may be easy for you to understand that it’s frustrating for them to have to take medication every day. But it may be harder to understand how they cannot control their mood swings. Especially if they are the type of person who likes to be in control.

Because the mood swings associated with bipolar disorder are not always easy to control, so this can be frustrating for your loved one, and they will need understanding from you with this.

Another thing they will need understanding from you about is their anger. That’s another thing they may not always be able to control. They may want to be in control of it, but may find that they’ll be feeling fine one minute, but the next minute they are fighting with you for no reason at all, and it can be frustrating for them (as well as for you). So they need you to be understanding of this as well.

But the thing they need you to be the most understanding of is when they go into bipolar episodes. Especially since this is something that is usually beyond their control. They may have done everything they know to do to keep from going into a bipolar episode, yet find themselves

in one anyway, and this can be totally frustrating for them. So they will need you to be very

understanding of this.

It takes more patience and grace to be understanding when your loved one goes into a bipolar episode than it does for most of the other things associated with the disorder.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

You know the saying, “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try, try again,” right? Well, it doesn’t say that you keep trying the same thing over and over again, does it? Otherwise, you run into the common definition of insanity, which is: “Doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.”

DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT!

That’s all it takes, sometimes, to change things. Or at least the outcome of something. And it doesn’t have to be something big that makes the difference, either. It can be something small that can make a big difference. The important thing is that you do something different.

When what you’re doing isn’t working, DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT!

If what you’re doing with your loved one with bipolar disorder isn’t working… And you’re getting very frustrated… It’s obvious that something has to change. Chances are, your loved one isn’t going to change. After all, they are the one with the disorder. And you shouldn’t have to change, either. But it’s obvious that something has to change, because what’s happening isn’t working any more. So…

DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT!

Maybe you’re enabling them. Maybe you’re making things too easy on them. So change that.

Stop enabling them. Make them do it for themselves (whatever it is that you are doing for them).

Then they will have to take responsibility for themselves in that area, at least.

For example, maybe you’ve been cooking all the meals. But they are perfectly capable of cooking some of the meals themselves. So you tell them that they are going to have to start chipping in and helping out with the cooking. If they don’t want to, that’s fine, they can go hungry on the nights that it’s their turn to cook (but be prepared to go hungry yourself the first couple times if they test you!).

Eventually, by your doing that one thing, it will change the situation (and, hopefully, your

loved one).

NOTE: This works well with the laundry as well! (so I’m told)

Here’s another example: If whenever you fight, you get defensive, and try to give your side of things, but it just makes matters worse, and your loved one just gets louder and more obstinate about giving their point of view, and it’s very frustrating for you…

DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT!

The next time you fight, try being quieter. It’s hard to fight with someone who won’t fight back,

and your loved one will lose steam a whole lot faster!

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

There used to be an old nursery rhyme that went:

There was a little girl, Who had a little curl, Right in the middle of her forehead.

And when she was good, She was very, very good, But when she was bad she was horrid!

I don’t know why that made me think of today’s topic, but it did: How you have to take the bad with the good when you’re dealing with bipolar disorder. Or maybe it should be the other way around if you continually dwell on the bad – that you might need to be reminded that underneath it all, there is still some good to be found.

Just in life in general, there is both bad and good to be had. You don’t have to be dealing with bipolar disorder for that to happen. But it just seems to be amplified when you are dealing with the disorder.

Like the nursery rhyme line, “but when she was bad she was horrid,” sometimes what you have

to go through can seem almost intolerable. But it could be just your subjective interpretation of events – to someone else it might not seem so bad. Not to belittle what you have to go through as a bipolar supporter, because I know it’s rough. But taking the bad with the good, you have to admit that there is some good in there.

Even though the bad times are, as the nursery rhyme says, “horrid,” the good times are just as good. And there are good times in between your loved one’s bipolar episodes, you’ve got to admit. The truth is that someone with bipolar disorder only has about 4-5 full-blown episodes in their lives. It is a fallacy that they go from one episode to another all the time:

Even so, you are there for the worst of it. You know your loved one better than anyone else.

You know the bad side of the disorder. You know firsthand what “horrid” means.

But in between bipolar episodes, your loved one can be normal. So you have experienced those times as well. And you need those times to balance out the bad times. Otherwise you wouldn’t still be together, would you? It would just be too hard to take. Too much bad all the time.

But it’s the good times that make it worth it to stay. And the good times can be very, very good.

So you have to take the bad with the good. And you have to focus on the good in order to put up with the bad. It helps if you can separate your loved one from their disorder.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave