Going the Extra Mile with Bipolar

Hi,

I read a quote the other day that I’d like to share with you:

“I once heard a teacher say that life is a lot like gambling in Las Vegas: you have to be present to

win. But sometimes winning entails much more than just showing up. It requires making a bet on your best, bravest self and then stretching beyond what you already believe you can do to win the jackpot of your full potential and deepest desires.”

In other words, you have to go that extra mile. Which is never easy, and sometimes demands quite a bit from you. Part of going that extra mile means making sacrifices. It’s like that quote said, it’s like “stretching beyond what you already believe you can do…”

But the quote says that if you can do that… You can “win the jackpot of your full potential and deepest desires.

So how does this relate to bipolar disorder? Well, I’m sure that one of your deepest desires is to see that your loved one gets better, even becomes stable with their bipolar disorder. That’s what most bipolar supporters want most. They want a normal life, despite their loved one’s bipolar disorder.

Sometimes that means that you have to go the extra mile in being a good supporter. Sometimes you have to stretch beyond what you think you are capable of doing and doing just a bit more to get better results. Sometimes what you think you are able to do and what you are actually able to

do with a little more effort are two different things. With a little more effort, you are able to

accomplish more than you had even thought you could accomplish.

And when your loved one sees you going that extra mile, it accomplishes two things – Number one, they appreciate you more for your effort at going the extra mile in supporting them. And number two, you are more of a role model to them, and they can go by your example, and they can go the extra mile for themselves!

Then, when they go the extra mile in their own quest for stability with their bipolar disorder, they too can “win the jackpot of [their] full potential and deepest desires” as well. They can learn from your example that sometimes it takes a little more effort to accomplish a little bit more, but that it is worth it.

Sometimes it takes a stretch of your emotional muscles, so to speak, to get where you want to get in supporting your loved one. And it takes a stretch of their emotional muscles, so to speak, to get where they want to get as far as management of their bipolar disorder goes.

Still, it is not beyond either of you. It is not asking the impossible.

Going the extra mile can sometimes mean just giving a little more effort than you might usually give. But the results can be an enormous difference.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

  1. Great quote – the best psychologist we had as a family – excellent, very real, held bad behavior accountable, was the first one to explain to me that the illness was really a characterological disorder with the bipolar that made things so horrific in our x family member’s behavior. Anyway, he used this quote all the time – referring to showing up and feeling entitled to receive a trophy for just showing up but not doing the dirty work and therapy and working through problems. It was the best time in 20 years because there was someone being a wraparound, and not just me, and the abuse was actually much less during that time. But that therapy came to an end because the family would not pay for it anymore because they wanted him “fixed” pronto and the psychologist did not want to deal with him anymore because he was not a willing participant in therapy – he did not want to change, did not want to be held accountable and refused to be “real” even when 3 family members were going into therapy all saying the same thing he was still denying his problems. But at least it helped us as family members dealing with alot of abuse and I think it did help him he just didn’t want to admit it. Later, after I had to get protection orders he wanted me to call this psychologist back – of course he was manic and saying I was the sick one again, but the psychologist wanted nothing to do with him, he labeled him not treatable and referred me to call someone who treats psychotics. So even psychologists “fire” patients if they are not doing more than just showing up !

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