Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews592/

Here are the news headlines:

Stress-Induced Depression Confirmed in Breakthrough That…
DO> Interesting article, take a look.

People with bipolar disorder may wait 13 years for diagnosis
DO> This is so sad if it’s that long

No more stigma, Pauley says. Bipolar’s hard enough
DO> I totally agree, don’t you

Over-the-Counter Meds Studied as Add-On Treatments
DO> What do you think of this?

Prayer and Social Support Key to Recovery from Depression…
DO> Wow this is great, take a look at this.

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews592/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

Remember the games we used to play as children? Some people even remember whole block

games of tag and hide and go seek. We used to play a lot of games that used our imaginations, didn’t we? Like dressing up as super heroes and ballerinas. These days we don’t see that as much. We see more technology in children’s toys than we used to. Unfortunately, we don’t see them using their imaginations as much. And whole block games are really out of the

question – Most people rarely even know their neighbors any more. Yes…Things aren’t what they used to be. But, unfortunately, people do still play games. But when they play games as adults, it’s not a good thing.

You may even be feeling as if your loved one with bipolar disorder is playing games. Some people call that manipulation. Being manipulated is never a good feeling. It makes you feel as if you’re being used. But even if your loved one is exhibiting manipulative behavior, it may not be their fault. It may be because of their bipolar disorder. It can make them act like that. So if you do notice this type of behavior in your loved one…You can identify it as a symptom that they may be going into a bipolar episode. In that case…You can try to get them to seek the help they need by getting them to call their psychiatrist as soon as possible, and hopefully avoid a full-blown bipolar episode this way.

Unfortunately…Some supporters report manipulative behavior in their loved one as being more prevalent than just symptomatic of an oncoming bipolar episode. They have asked me if this behavior then is due to the bipolar or if it’s just their loved one? I really don’t have an answer for that, as each person is different. But, in general…Some people are just more manipulative than others. And some people with bipolar disorder do use their disorder as an excuse for manipulative behavior.

For example…Someone with the disorder who has problems managing money may manipulate their supporter by getting them to give them money when they inevitably keep running out of money because of their inability to manage it well. How do you know it’s manipulation? Because it’s a pattern of behavior. So what can you do about it? It becomes the responsibility of the supporter to do something about it. Because the person with the disorder won’t stop as long

as they’re getting what they want. So you have to force them to. In this case, you have to stop giving them money. Or set conditions or limits to the money you do give them. You do not have to stand for being manipulated. And your loved one having bipolar disorder is not an excuse for them manipulating you.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

Do you ever read the comics? Specifically, do you ever read Peanuts? I love how Charlie Brown and Lucy interact. It cracks me up! lol But I always remember one thing about their interaction:

Lucy always called Charlie Brown “wishy-washy.” Have you ever known someone who was wishy-washy? That’s not someone who you could generally depend on, is it? Not necessarily someone whose opinion you would ask, either. Because they might be one way one day, and a different way another day. That’s how wishy-washy is. Not consistent. And that’s what I want to talk to you about today: BEING CONSISTENT. Because that’s what you need to be.

When you have bipolar disorder, there are very few things that you can count on being consistent. For example…You can’t even count on your moods being consistent from day to day.

And that can be very frustrating. So you seek consistency in your world. That’s why routine is so very important for your loved one. And why it will help them become stable with their bipolar

disorder. So they need consistency from you as well. The more consistent you can be…The better off your loved one will be. You just can’t be wishy-washy, in other words. They need to know that they can count on you. They need to know that they have your consistent support.

They need to know that they have your consistent understanding. They need to know that they have your consistent listening ear. They need to know that they have your consistent unconditional love. They need to know that whatever you do for them, that you will be consistent. Like I said, they need to be able to count on you.

However…They can’t count on you TOO much, or they will become dependent on you. And you do NOT want that. That would lead to a codependent relationship, which would hurt both of you and hinder their recovery. So you need to be consistent…But you also need to have a healthy balance between what you do for your loved one and what you expect them to do for themselves.

For example: You should set goals. You could have long-term goals (like a trip) and short-

term goals (like stable behavior for a given length of time). And just as you are consistent in your role as supporter…You can also require that your loved one be consistent in meeting these goals that you’ve set. Consistency will help them get to stability and recovery.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

There are many subjects that we talk about when it comes to your loved one’s bipolar disorder:

• Medications

• Support System

• Treatment

• Stability

• Recovery

• Helping Self

• Relationships

• Communication

• Mood Swings

• Irrational Behavior

• Bipolar Episodes

• Triggers

• Symptoms

• Etc.

But there is one subject that everyone seems to avoid…That no one seems to want to talk about.

That subject is: SEX. Do we really want to talk about this? Yes, I think we need to. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about. And it is a VERY common problem area when it comes to bipolar disorder. One that you are probably struggling with right now. But you may not have talked to your doctor or therapist about it for one or another reason. Most people are embarrassed by it, for one thing. Others blame the problem on themselves. Some just ignore it, thinking it will solve itself given enough time. Unfortunately…These are not good solutions to a very real problem.

Like I said…A very common problem. So the first thing you need to know is: You are not alone.

Other supporters have dealt with this problem before you.

So if you are particularly close with another person in your support group, you might want to broach the subject with them, as they have probably dealt with it. Ask them what they did about it. You can always bring the subject up with your loved one’s doctor or psychiatrist. You will find out that the biggest cause of problems in the sexual area with people who have bipolar

disorder is due to medication. If the doctor/psychiatrist is aware of the problem, he can then work with your loved one’s medication. Or he may be able to prescribe another medication to help with the problem.

Sometimes the problem with sex is due to poor self-esteem. This could be due to the weight gain from the bipolar medications. That can also cause a disinterest in sex for your loved one. They may feel bad about themselves or their body because they feel fat. This is also something that the doctor may be able to help with. He may be able to switch your loved one to one of the bipolar medications that do not make them gain weight. Seeing a therapist can also help your loved one here. They can help your loved one with issues of self-esteem and accepting that the weight gain is just a side effect that they have to accept. As they learn to accept it, their interest in sex may be

restored.

The main thing to know is that your loved one’s lack of sex drive or other problem with sex is not necessarily related to you. It is not your fault, but most likely due to their bipolar medication.

Have them talk to their doctor/psychiatrist about the problem, as they may be able to help.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

Do you remember that little foil gold star that you used to get in kindergarten or first grade for doing something right or good? Or maybe your parents even had a chore chart for you at home for which you got gold stars if you completed your chores? Do you remember how good you felt getting those little gold stars? It felt great, didn’t it? You’d do anything to get those little stars.

Well…Those stars are called: INCENTIVE. An incentive is sort of a reward for doing something. It’s like motivation that makes you want to do that thing. So…The motivation or incentive your loved one has for doing the right things with their bipolar disorder would be to get

stable. Your incentive now wouldn’t be gold stars any more, but it would be to see your loved one get better with their bipolar disorder. So you do the things you think would help them best.

And if what you’re doing isn’t working, you try something else. And you keep trying things, until something works. Because you want to “get that gold star” – You want to see your loved one get better. That’s your incentive to do the things you do.

Well…Your loved one should have their incentive as well. They should want to get stable. The key here is “should,” however. And that doesn’t always work. Sometimes their bipolar disorder gets the better of them, unfortunately. And they don’t always do what they should do for their stability. Like they should take their medication religiously in order to stay stable. That’s like a “rule” in the bipolar business. But some people with the disorder do go off their medications sometimes for various reasons…And then they get unstable…And get out of control…And their symptoms manifest themselves again…And their bipolar behaviors come back…And before you know it…They’re in an episode again. Then there’s nothing to do but get them back on their medications and start all over again. And hope that this time they’ll stay on them.

There’s a saying that: “You can lead a horse to water…But you can’t make him drink.” And that’s true, but, I’ve also heard that: “You can’t make him drink…But you CAN make the water salty.” That way…He’ll WANT to drink the water! In other words, you can provide incentives for your loved one to want to stay stable. Like tell them if they stay stable for a month, you can

go out to their favorite restaurant or something. Or they can go shopping and pick out something they want. Or if they stay stable for six months, maybe you can travel somewhere. Whatever would be a good incentive for them.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews591/

Here are the news headlines:

People Living With Bipolar Disorder Ride Emotional Rollercoaster
DO> This is a good way to describe it don’t you think?

Mania Symptom Profile Changes With Age
DO> Wow, interesting article

Memoir Explores Struggles Of Raising Children While Dealing With Husband’s Mental Illness
DO> Another great article, take a look.

Uthealth Researchers Study Add-On Treatments For Bipolar Disorder
DO> Hmm. Sounds promising

Patterns Of Brain Activity In Response Of Emotional Faces May Help Diagnose Bipolar Disorder
DO> What do you think about this?

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews591/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

Have you ever noticed that sometimes things are black and white…They’re just plain that way. Easy to see the answer. Or the information. Or the subject. Or whatever. But other things are kind of gray…Like “in-between…” Or not so easy to see…Not so easy to tell the answer. Or to discern the information. Or to understand the subject. Or whatever. Sometimes we can feel downright lost, can’t we? Or even feel like maybe everyone else sees the answer except us. That can be really frustrating. It’s especially hard for older people…Because they’re always saying:

“In the old days…” Or, “Back in the day…” Or, “In my time…” Because to them, things were simpler then. They could see things clearer. To them, things are more complicated now. And to us…Well…I guess that’s the way things can seem to us as well sometimes. Especially when we’re dealing with a loved one with bipolar disorder. It’s not always clear what to do.

It helps to get advice from people who have been where you are. They can offer you help and advice because they know what you’re going through. That’s why I advise going to a bipolar support group. Being around people going through the same thing that you are can help sometimes. Maybe you’re struggling with an issue, and someone in the group has struggled with that issue, and they tried something with their loved one and it worked with them. So maybe you can try it with your loved one too, and maybe it will work for you too. That’s how it works. You not only get support in a support group…But sometimes you get really good advice too. It helps for those times when you’re struggling with something, and you just don’t know what to do. It helps to know someone who’s already been there and gone through it.

Sometimes just bouncing things off a close friend or family member can help as well. That’s why I recommend that you develop your own support system (your loved one should also have

their own). You should have people that you can go to and talk to and tell them how you’re feeling. It helps not to keep things in. They can also offer more than just encouragement – Sometimes they can give some pretty good concrete advice. Maybe even something you didn’t even think of.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

The other day I was talking to a friend of mine on the phone and he says, “I’ve got to go. I’ve got to take my daughter out for a walk.” Believe it or not…He wasn’t talking about his real daughter, he was talking about his DOG!!! lol But some people do feel about their pets like they’re their children, don’t they? I’m sure you’ve seen or known people like that. Maybe even you’ve been like that when you’ve had a pet in the past. But here’s the point: Animals can really capture our hearts, and they can be very good for us. In fact, a dog can be very good for a person with depression. Even for a person with bipolar depression. At times, I talk about trying whatever works with your loved one, and if something isn’t working with them, you need to try something new – whatever works, that’s what you need to do, even if it may seem strange at first.

But using a dog to treat depression isn’t a new thing – They’ve been trying it for awhile, and it’s been working with success! For one thing…You can kind of figure that just having something

that offers you unconditional love and affection would be good for you emotionally, wouldn’t

you? So that would be a major advantage to having a dog for your loved one’s bipolar depression. But there are also emotional benefits to loving and giving affection to someone (something) else as well. In addition…There is the added benefit of having to take care of that dog. It would help to take the emphasis off your loved one. They would be caring about something other than themselves and their problems for a change. They would be seeing to the needs of someone else. It would give them something to do. It would give them something to think about. It would give them a higher activity level. It would give them a higher purpose (or even just a purpose, if all they’ve been doing is lying in bed or on the couch). It would give them some goals. It would give them someone to interact with. It would give them something to wake up for. It would give them some responsibility. It would help them feel better about themselves.

And more. Do you see all the benefits?

Up until now, your loved one has probably only depended on you for their love and affection.

And that’s a pretty big responsibility for you to shoulder by yourself. But a dog would give them unconditional love and affection naturally, too. And dogs are also a source of joy – They can be very entertaining. They can really make you laugh with some of their antics. Can you imagine your loved one actually laughing again? I mean…Not just starting to come out of their depression and starting to care about something again… But actually laughing at something?

Wouldn’t that be great? Maybe this is something you could try for your loved one. It certainly has been working for other people with bipolar disorder.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

I heard a funny expression recently that I wanted to share with you (we just can’t be serious all the time, you know?) It goes: “Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.” Isn’t that cute? I thought it was (then again, you might think I’m a little bit crazy lol). But it kind of has to do with what I wanted to talk to you about today.

See…There are some people who are worriers. You know what I’m talking about? Maybe you know someone like that. And these people are going to worry about things no matter what happens. No matter what you say to them. They’re just going to worry, because that’s what they

do. All the time. They’re just worriers. That makes them very negative people. These type of people get sicker than other people. Did you know that? It’s true. Oh, not just the hypochondriacs who worry that they’re sick (when usually they aren’t, they’re just worried

that they are). But people who worry are generally more stressed than people who don’t worry.

But people who don’t worry are less stressed. That’s because they’re generally more positive than the people who worry. But people who worry live in fear. And that’s the bottom line. I don’t want you to live in fear. I mean…Yes, you fight a battle. And bipolar disorder is a very serious thing. It can even be fatal. But if you worry about it…If you live in fear of it…You’ll just worry yourself sick. Really – You could seriously make yourself sick over it. Because worry can bring stress. And stress has been known to bring illness on people. Stress can even cause heart attacks and strokes. Yes, stress can be deadly. So you want to be as stress-free as you can. Not just for your loved one, but for yourself as well.

Because what good are you going to be to your loved one if you’re no good to yourself? You can’t take care of them if you’re first not taking care of yourself. I know, I know. I harp on that a lot. I do, because I want you to listen to it. You are a very important person. Not just an important person in your loved one’s life…But a very important person in life itself. And you do need to take care of yourself. You don’t need to worry. And you don’t need to live in fear. You need to live life the best way I know how: “One Day at a Time.” Just do the best you can, with a positive attitude, one day at a time.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

You know, researchers have been saying for a long time that we are a product of our environment. They say that children learn what they live, in fact. So that if they live in an environment filled with violence, they will become violent people themselves. But if they live in a loving, nurturing environment, then that is the type of person they will become in the future.

But what happens when you’re surrounded by an environment filled with mental illness? Some supporters have even questioned whether they can “catch” their loved one’s bipolar disorder, and

that’s one myth that I try to dispel when I talk to people.

Living in a “bipolar world” can truly alter your perception of reality sometimes. You can get so caught up in the “bipolar-ness” of everything that your “normal” just isn’t what it used to be at all. It can make you feel crazy! Even to the point, like I mentioned, where you question whether you can “catch” your loved one’s bipolar disorder, because you may feel like you’re starting to

have some of the same symptoms. The fact is: NO. You cannot “catch” your loved one’s bipolar disorder. But you can react to it. Especially when you live in a bipolar world. If your world consists of nothing but your loved one’s bipolar disorder, you are in dangerous territory. Like I was saying before…Your perception of reality will be altered. You won’t have a natural sense of “normal” any more.

Of course…Anyone dealing with a loved one with bipolar disorder has to live with a new normal” than before. A type of “what is normal for now” sort of thing…Now being now that their loved one is diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Because there is a “normal” that comes with bipolar. And that is the normal that happens between bipolar episodes. What is called the normal period. And that’s different for each person who has the disorder. So your normal would be what your loved one is like between their bipolar episodes. So when I’m talking about normal for you, that’s what I’m talking about. So your life needs to be as normal as it can be.

You just can’t live in the bipolar world, or it will drive you crazy. You just can’t center all your thoughts around bipolar disorder, for one thing. You should be having other, more positive thoughts, about other more varied things. Things that have nothing to do with your loved one’s

bipolar disorder. You can’t dwell on it all the time. When your loved one isn’t in a bipolar episode, you should take advantage of their normal periods, and do the things together that you couldn’t do when they were in an episode. Get out. Have fun! Go places. Get yourselves out of that bipolar world that can tend to surround you so easily.

As for yourself…Try to have a life outside your loved one and their bipolar disorder. This will help to keep the bipolar world from overwhelming you. Have a job outside the home, for example. Try to see family and friends often. Do things that you enjoy away from your loved one

and their bipolar disorder (alone or with someone else). Try to keep your own life as normal as possible.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave