Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews493/

Here are the news headlines:

Age of Onset Influences Prognosis in Bipolar
DO> Wow, very interesting article, take a look.

Mental Health: Are We All Sick Now?
DO> Do you think this is getting out of control?

KY to Get $2 Million in Drug Company Settlement
DO> Wow, this is a huge amount of money?

Portsmouth Mother Who Drank Lysol-laced Juice: ‘I’m mentally devastated’
DO> What do you think about this?

Family of Slain B.C. Autistic Boy ‘Let Down’ by Mental Health System
DO> Who do you think is at fault?

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews493/

==>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

How are things for you today? I hope they’re going well.

I want to tell you about something that happened with Michele, who works for me, recently.

You know that she has bipolar disorder, right? I’ve talked about that before. And about how she’s a really hard worker. She usually does a really good job, and I have no complaints. Usually.

But recently, I’d noticed that her work wasn’t up to par, and she seemed different. Kind of distant. Not her usual bubbly self. She didn’t seem to have her usual energy. I’m not saying her work was bad or anything, because it wasn’t – it just didn’t seem to have her usual “flair” to it. It just seemed like something was “off.”

I didn’t mention anything to her about it, figuring that if something was wrong, she would tell me about it.

This went on for a couple weeks. Like I said, her work was fine, just kind of “different” for her.

And she seemed fine, too, just kind of “different.” It’s kind of hard to explain, or to put a finger on, really. You’d have to know her. But trust me, I knew something wasn’t quite right.

Then one day, all of a sudden, she was back to her old self! She was energetic, excited about all

of our new projects, and you could even hear in her voice that she was herself again! So then I felt that I could say something. I asked her if something had been going on with her. I told her how I had noticed that she had been acting differently, and that even her work seemed a bit different as well. Still good, but not quite the same as her usual work.

She said that her nighttime bipolar medication had quit working, and that she hadn’t been sleeping. She even went a whole night without ANY sleep at all! One night she only had two hours sleep, she said. And other nights were troubled sleep. She told me that she would wake up

just as tired as when she went to sleep. And that she had just been exhausted for the past couple weeks. The point was, she just hadn’t been herself because of a lack of sleep.

She had finally called her psychiatrist and told him what was going on, and he switched her medications. That night she slept great! After a couple nights’ of great sleep, she was back to her old self. It didn’t just show in her personality, it even showed in her work! So much so that not just I, but another one of her coworkers noticed as well!

Michele’s story is a good example. This could have been very costly for her. It could have led to a bipolar episode for her. It could have even cost her her job! But simply by telling her psychiatrist what was happening, and him making an adjustment in her medications, her situation was corrected, and she was back to her old self in no time!

Take a lesson from what happened to Michele. If you are having trouble sleeping, don’t put it off. Let your doctor or psychiatrist know what’s happening. The solution could be as simple as

making a change in your medication.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

Anger is a very negative emotion. But that doesn’t mean that it’s not a natural reaction. In fact, it’s a very natural reaction when it comes to bipolar disorder. You’ve probably seen this in your loved one. They probably react in anger many times.

Sometimes it seems justifiable; however, sometimes it can seem out of proportion to the events that caused it – This can be due to the bipolar disorder itself. Pent-up rage can be their reaction to anger that they have kept inside.

Many supporters of a loved one with bipolar disorder report that their loved one goes into manic rages. They say that their loved one will sometimes pick a fight over nothing at all. This could be because they have been ‘stuffing’ their anger, until it gets to a boiling point and comes out as rage, usually directed at you.

But what about you? What about anger in the supporter of a loved one with bipolar disorder?

This is a subject not usually talked about, because usually the supporter feels guilty for feeling angry at their loved one – Like they’re not supposed to get angry. Or because they see the results of anger in their loved one, and they don’t want that to be them. That’s understandable.

I remember when my mom would get so angry at me that she would throw things at me. I sure didn’t want to get that angry. But she sure would make me mad sometimes, too. I would feel that anger, but then I would feel so helpless, not knowing what to do with those feelings.

I knew I couldn’t act like her – I couldn’t throw things back at her. I couldn’t yell back at her, because yelling back at her wouldn’t get me anywhere, and would just prolong the fight. Yelling back at my mom would just make her angrier, and she would yell even more. So I knew that wasn’t the solution.

Now, if you’re thinking that you never get angry at your loved one, consider this: Do you ever resent them? Do you ever think that it’s not fair? That you wish you could unleash your anger the way that they do? That it’s not fair that they get away with expressing their anger the way that they do, when you can’t? Because you are the ‘normal’ one, the responsible one, and you wouldn’t do what they do, would you? You might even feel a little jealous of them.

Well, if you resent your loved one, you might be surprised to know that resentment is actually repressed anger! So you are actually angry. You may not rage, or act out like your loved one does, but you still experience anger.

The thing is, if you keep ‘stuffing’ that anger, it will eventually come out, and you might find yourself raging too. Or at least yelling and screaming when you least expect it.

Now, we’ve already talked about how ineffective that is. So you have to find a better way to

handle your anger. Find someone you can talk to about it. Someone you can trust, like someone in your own support system – or another family member or friend, clergy person, coworker or boss, friend, someone in your support group, your therapist, etc.

If you don’t have anyone you can talk to about it, at least write it down in a journal or diary, but get those feelings of anger out, so they don’t come back at you.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi, how’s it going? Hope you are doing well.

I was talking to someone who called in the other day who had a concern. They had bipolar disorder, and they were also having trouble with housing circumstances. See, they had wasted all of their money while they were manic, because they weren’t on their medications at the time. They had thought that they could go off of their medications because they didn’t feel bad. But now they had started to realize that they needed to be on their medications all of the time.

But even though they realized this, they were still living with the consequences of their actions. They were essentially homeless. They had two options. They could either stay at a homeless shelter, or they could go move in with their family.

Now, immediately, one might assume that their family would have to be better than a homeless shelter. But there was a catch: Their family did not approve of them taking medications for their bipolar, believing that they should just be able to will it away. So, while it may seem better to be living with family, it may actually be better to stay at the homeless shelter so that they can take their medications and get themselves back on their feet.

There is a phrase, “The lesser of two evils.” Basically what that phrase means is that there aren’t always easy choices to make. When you’re facing a difficult choice, you have to choose the best option, even if it’s not a good option. Unfortunately, in life, there aren’t always good options. But we can make the best of what we can. This can be applied to all sorts of decisions that we have to make.

For example, if you cannot afford a regular psychiatrist or therapist, and you have to choose between whatever the option is in your area for people with lower income, or not having a psychiatrist or therapist at all, then you have to choose the lesser of two evils.

When you are in a crisis, and you have to choose between inpatient and outpatient services, then you have to look at both options carefully and figure out what is the lesser of two evils for you in that situation.

This will be different for everyone in that sort of situation, because everyone is experiencing different circumstances. For some, there may not be outpatient services that can handle that sort of crisis situation. For others, they might have the opposite problem.

There are a lot of situations in life where you will have to choose the lesser of two evils. There are some important things to remember when you go to make a decision like this. First of all, don’t be rash. Make sure you think over your decisions carefully with a clear head.

Secondly, don’t be afraid to get feedback about your decision. It may be that someone can see things from a better perspective than you can at this particular point in time. Thirdly, try to make the most of whatever you decide to do.

It may not be the best option you can think of, but it is the best option that’s available at the moment, so there’s no point in sulking about it. After all, when choosing between sulking and being happy, I think being happy is the lesser of two evils. 😛

Do you have any thoughts on this?

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi, how’s it going? Hope you are doing well.

I saw something the other day that made me really stop and think about the differences between children and adults. There were two mothers. One of the first mother’s children took the stroller that belonged to the second mother.

Now, they just wanted to play with it, but the second mother needed her stroller. So the second mother called to the child and said “Bring it back.” This made the first mother angry. She said that the second mother shouldn’t be telling her child anything. Now, this could easily be the topic of debate, but that’s not my point right now.

It made me think of how children don’t accept feedback and criticism very well. Often times, their parents even protect them from having to hear it. But that’s where we need to differ from children.

Feedback and criticism are important parts of life. They are things we need to learn to accept if we are going to progress as much as we can in life. Without feedback and constructive criticism, we can only change the things that we are aware of.

But what about all of those things that we are not aware of? I know one woman who has bipolar disorder who discovered something about herself in a way she thought was surprising. She never realized how she was when she was manic, until the day when she met someone else who had bipolar disorder.

This someone else wasn’t on medications. So she got to see just how a manic episode looked from the outside. It made her stop to think about herself. She told me about her realizations later. You know what she said? She said she never realized just how ANNOYING she was. LOL.

But it’s true. That, and other things. She probably never realized just how fast she talked, or just how poor her decisions were. But after meeting this other person, she started to realize it. Then she was more willing to accept feedback as to how to change that.

But do you see how there are things that we are not aware of about ourselves? I don’t know if you realize this, but most people who are in a manic episode don’t realize that anything is wrong. That’s when feedback comes into play.

If someone is there to tell you all the symptoms that they have noticed, and to help you realize that you are in a manic episode, then you have a much better chance of getting the treatment you need. That is to say, IF you listen.

We’re not like children. We don’t need to be protected from feedback or criticism. Sometimes the criticism even comes to us in a harsh way. Someone might rudely demand to know why you can never sit still, or why you are talking a hundred miles an hour.

But you can choose how you take that kind of criticism. You can either take it as being rude, and respond in a like manner. Or, you can surprise them (and probably yourself) and instead choose to thank them for pointing that out to you.

After all, you probably didn’t even realize that you were doing that. That’s why feedback and criticism is so important. The more we accept it, the more we can grow on our way to recovery.

What are your thoughts on that?

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews492/

Here are the news headlines:

Advocate for Mentally Ill to Meet Obama
DO> Do you think this will make things better?

Shedding Light On How Psychiatric Risk Gene Disrupts Brain Development
DO> Great article, take a look.

Much help is Available for People at Risk of Suicide
DO> Another great article, take a look.

Depression, Bipolar Support Group Available
DO> This may be good for you depending where you are and your time schedule

Are there Benefits to Having Bipolar Disorder?
DO> Hmm. What do you think of tihs?

Police Seek Lee’s Summit Girl, 14, Missing Since Saturday
DO> Sad story, if you’ve seen her, please call police.

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews492/

==>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

The other day I sent out an email titled:

“Loved One With Bipolar? Discover this

Incredible Secret” and

Sending people to this website:

http://www.bipolardisorderdvd.com/coaching2/

I got back quite a few emails and phone calls asking if this was “really” a secret.

This is before people even viewed the page

(which I told them to do).

The answer is that yes, this really is a real secret!

Many people who do exceptionally well with bipolar disorder employ this secret.

Most people successful in life who apply this secret do well also.

The real amazing thing is what happens once you apply the secret!

This secret is so powerful that it can actually change your life!

What good is information if you don’t apply it, right?

But the right information can totally transform your whole life!

Some people can go through their whole lives and never learn this secret.

These people are destined to fail, especially those who are dealing with bipolar disorder, because it is like trying to steer a ship without a rudder. No direction!

Yet with this one simple secret, you not only have direction, you can have success!

Can you imagine your whole life changing in a matter of days just by applying this secret?

That’s how powerful it is!

See for yourself by visiting this page:

http://www.bipolardisorderdvd.com/coaching2/

Dave

Hi, Do you ever wonder things like: Is my loved one getting any better? Am I really helping them? Does what I do make a difference?

If you do, then consider yourself just as normal as any other supporter, because they wonder the same things.

I can tell you one thing right off the bat: What you do definitely does make a difference.

I had a lady tell me just last week that she has no support whatsoever, and she just can’t get out of her depression because of it. She knows that if she had a supporter she would be doing much better than she is. So as far as the question of, “Does what I do make a difference?” The answer is yes, definitely.

Just the very fact that you are there for your loved one makes a difference. Just think about this lady – she has no one, so she isn’t getting any better. At least your loved one has you, and just that alone makes a difference. So anything you do for them makes a difference, too.

They have you to talk to, to share their thoughts and feelings with… You can help them watch for signs and symptoms of a bipolar episode and catch it before it happens… You can make sure they take their medication and go to their appointments… There are a lot of things you do to make a difference in the management of their disorder.

As far as whether you’re really helping your loved one and are they getting any better, these two kind of go hand in hand. And here’s how you can answer them for yourself:

Look at your loved one today… And compare them to where they were a year ago.

Do you see progress? Are they having less episodes? Do they have less symptoms? Are they less depressed or manic? Are they more productive? Are they getting out of bed more? Are they taking better care of themselves? Are they more medication compliant? Are they more willing to go to see their doctor, psychiatrist, and/or therapist?

You can ask any number of questions to get to the answers we’re looking for here. The main thing is… Do you see progress? Progress indicates growth. And growth indicates that your loved one is getting better on their road to recovery from bipolar disorder.

You can look at outward signs that might indicate this inward growth. For example, maybe a year ago, they were so depressed that they weren’t grooming themselves very often or very carefully. Maybe they didn’t bathe often enough, or wash their hair, or take care in how they dressed.

Today, a year later, things might be totally different. Now they may take great care in how

they look. This would be an outward sign of an inward growth. A definite sign of progress. A sign that they are getting better.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

I was at one of the bipolar support groups that I attend the other night. And I was talking to this woman whose husband has bipolar disorder. I asked her how he was doing. And she said, “Great.” But she didn’t say it very enthusiastically at all. So I asked her how come she wasn’t

very excited about that. And she said, ‘I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

I asked her what she meant… And she said, “Any time he does great for awhile, it seems like the next bipolar episode is right around the corner, so it’s like I’m just waiting for the next shoe to

drop. Like I know it’s coming any time now.”

She was telling me how uncomfortable a position that places her into, how she can never relax when her husband is doing “great” – she never feels like she can enjoy his times of stability, because she’s afraid of an oncoming episode.

I told her that’s no way to live – that they should be able to enjoy his periods of normalcy and stability much more.

She said she would love to, except that she just can’t get the thought out of her mind that he’s bound to have that next episode any time now.

If your loved one is doing what they are supposed to be doing to manage their bipolar disorder, they will begin to have fewer and fewer bipolar episodes. So it’s up to you, as their supporter,

whether you feel and think and act like this woman from the support group and wait around for the next bipolar shoe to drop… Or whether you enjoy your loved one’s periods of normalcy, understanding that, if they are managing their disorder the right way, they will have more and more of them.

Bipolar episodes are hard enough to go through, you know that. And there is a period of time after each of them that you don’t trust your loved one, because you are afraid they will “slip” into

bipolar behavior. This is normal. However, after awhile, you can begin to trust them again.

After awhile of non-symptomatic behavior, your loved one will be acting stable. This is called a normal period. And, like I said before, with proper management of their bipolar disorder, they (and you) will enjoy more and more normal periods, longer periods without bipolar episodes. You don’t have to sit around waiting for the other shoe to drop. You can enjoy these periods.

Do what you would enjoy doing. Go places, do things, especially those things you were putting off doing because your loved one was episodic. As long as your loved one stays on their medication and adheres to their treatment (goes to see their psychiatrist and therapist) and takes care of themselves and their bipolar, there is no reason you can’t do the things you want to do when and where you want to do them.

If you cower or give in to fear, like this woman from the support group, you are letting the disorder manage you instead of the other way around. And that’s not right. You need to be the ones managing your loved one’s bipolar disorder. And part of that management is controlling

the time between episodes. The normal periods. Like I said, be determined to enjoy them as

much as you can. You shouldn’t be spending those normal periods just waiting around for the next bipolar episode to hit.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

Do you ever have a bad day? I mean, I know everyone has a bad day every once in a while. But I mean, one of those days when nothing seems to go right.

I had one of those the other day. I had placed an order for CDs, and the printer printed the wrong date on them. And they had to go out to our customers that way! Sheesh! Then I had to print an apology to every one of them for the printer printing them with the wrong date.

Then my computer got a glitch in it and my emails started going haywire. I couldn’t figure out what was going on. That really frustrated me, because I’m usually pretty good with computers. But I just couldn’t figure this thing out. It took me hours! I finally got it right, but I was so frustrated by then that I thought I would tear my hair all out!

Then I needed to talk to someone on my team and she was nowhere to be found. My fault – she had told me she would be unavailable, but I was so busy I had forgotten. Still, I was flustered that I wasn’t able to contact her when I needed her, because I couldn’t get the answer I needed when I needed it! Ahhhh!

Then my car started making funny noises. You know how that can be. That can mean anything.

Then just before I got so frustrated I wanted to kick the darn thing, the noise disappeared as mysteriously as it had come! Now I’m just puzzled, because I wonder what it could have been!

And that’s almost as frustrating as if it had never gone away!

So many things went wrong in that one day that I wished I had never woke up that day. I actually wanted to go to sleep and start the day over again!

That’s the kind of day I’m talking about. You ever have one of those kind of days? The kind you wish you could start over?

I bet you’re wondering what any of this has to do with bipolar disorder, right?

Well, in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, there is something called “mindfulness.” Mindfulness is about “being in the moment.” It has to do with dealing with things the way they are instead of the way you wish they could be.

Like the kind of day I was talking about. There were many times I wished I could change the circumstances I was facing (like with the computer). But I had to accept things the way they were. I couldn’t do anything about them.

Many times, as a supporter to a loved one with bipolar disorder, you will face the same thing. There may be times that you will want to not only change the situation, but even want to change your loved one, but you can’t. That’s when you practice mindfulness.

You just need to accept things the way they are instead of the way you would like for them to be.

If you practice this principle long enough, you will find that you will have more peace in your life.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave