Waiting for the Other Bipolar Shoe to Drop

Hi, Do you ever wonder things like: Is my loved one getting any better? Am I really helping them? Does what I do make a difference?

If you do, then consider yourself just as normal as any other supporter, because they wonder the same things.

I can tell you one thing right off the bat: What you do definitely does make a difference.

I had a lady tell me just last week that she has no support whatsoever, and she just can’t get out of her depression because of it. She knows that if she had a supporter she would be doing much better than she is. So as far as the question of, “Does what I do make a difference?” The answer is yes, definitely.

Just the very fact that you are there for your loved one makes a difference. Just think about this lady – she has no one, so she isn’t getting any better. At least your loved one has you, and just that alone makes a difference. So anything you do for them makes a difference, too.

They have you to talk to, to share their thoughts and feelings with… You can help them watch for signs and symptoms of a bipolar episode and catch it before it happens… You can make sure they take their medication and go to their appointments… There are a lot of things you do to make a difference in the management of their disorder.

As far as whether you’re really helping your loved one and are they getting any better, these two kind of go hand in hand. And here’s how you can answer them for yourself:

Look at your loved one today… And compare them to where they were a year ago.

Do you see progress? Are they having less episodes? Do they have less symptoms? Are they less depressed or manic? Are they more productive? Are they getting out of bed more? Are they taking better care of themselves? Are they more medication compliant? Are they more willing to go to see their doctor, psychiatrist, and/or therapist?

You can ask any number of questions to get to the answers we’re looking for here. The main thing is… Do you see progress? Progress indicates growth. And growth indicates that your loved one is getting better on their road to recovery from bipolar disorder.

You can look at outward signs that might indicate this inward growth. For example, maybe a year ago, they were so depressed that they weren’t grooming themselves very often or very carefully. Maybe they didn’t bathe often enough, or wash their hair, or take care in how they dressed.

Today, a year later, things might be totally different. Now they may take great care in how

they look. This would be an outward sign of an inward growth. A definite sign of progress. A sign that they are getting better.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,


  1. I am angry because my husband shows bipolar-like symptoms but he refuses to see a doc. How then can I manage the good times. I too wait for the other shoe to drop, so there goes we (the other lady and I) are waiting for the entire pair to drop!!!!!

  2. i am always in a state of stress!!my husband has an episode almost 2 times a month and every 4 months a major episode!he is on new medication but it says it takes about 7months to work properly!and above everything the therapist me pshyc.sent us to is even more expensive than she is!I feel like I am carring this whole burden alone talking to my husband makes him stress more and then the episodes worsens!!its a never ending story!!

  3. Dave, you are so right, it is no way to live letting bipolar manage us! It is difficult not to have a sense of empending dread when life is going extrememly well. I think it is important that we enjoy life as much as we can when it is going well. Not only for our sense of well being but also for the person we are caring for. Life is just to short to always be worrying about what if’s.

  4. Dave, I agree with you, life is to short as it is to not enjoy the good times (normal period), plus the person with the bipolar will sense the negativity. So, I say stay positive for your loved one and let him or her know you’re them for them. I love your daily words of encouragment, it is nice to see you really care about you cause! Keep it up, you’re awesome!

    john Burke

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