Hi,

How’s your day going?

I hope it is a good one.

Have you ever wondered if there was a single thing you could do to make recovery easier for your loved one? Well I’m certainly not going to claim that there is a cure-all, but there is something you can do to make things easier on your loved one as they work on recovery.

Wondering what I’m talking about?

Consistency.

When a person has bipolar disorder, it can seem like nothing in life is consistent. After all, even their moods aren’t! Can you imagine what that must feel like?

If we can be that one consistent thing in their life, wouldn’t we want to be? If we can provide any form of consistency in their life, wouldn’t we want to? Of course we would!

Now the real question is: how? How can we provide consistency in our loved one’s world, when everything else seems so hectic?

Well, one of the ways we can do so is to stay calm when we are responding to their different moods, and even their crisis situations. The more we can regulate our own moods, the more we can help them learn to regulate theirs. After all, most of us learn by example.

Not to mention that if we can regulate our own moods, then they will know ahead of time how we will react to things. Believe it or not, this can make all the difference in the world.

If we can be a constant source of calmness, while still being a source of reason and encouragement, then they will know that we are going to be a source of help no matter what. The calmer we are, the more we can help them through their struggles, and they are aware of this also (even if they don’t understand it on a conscious level.)

Another thing we can do to be consistent is to be a constant source of reason for them. After all, when they are in a manic state, they cannot provide their own reason. But if we provide it for them, then they know what to expect from us the next time.

Then they will know that they can come to us when they are not sure that they can trust their own judgment. This is crucial for them. After all, they have to have someone to go to when they are manic and cannot think clearly on their own accord.

Part of their recovery process is to learn to go to someone for advice, even when they are manic. If we can be that person that they trust to go to, and we can follow through with practical and sound advice, then we can truly help them through their recovery.

Another thing we can do to be consistent is to constantly be a source of encouragement. This is true all of the time, but especially when they are depressed. That is to say, they need encouragement the most when they are depressed. But that is not the only time that they need encouragement.

Also, if we can provide them with encouragement all of the time, then they will know that they can come to us when they need it. Wouldn’t it be great if our loved ones knew that they could come to us when they needed encouragement? That is most likely to happen if they are familiar with our encouragement. And they will be most familiar with our encouragement if they hear it a lot.

Now, our encouragement needs to change, of course, when they are in different moods. After all, the same encouragement won’t be effective when they are depressed as it was when they were manic. The same encouragement won’t be as effective when they are finally in a normal state as it was when they were in a mood swing.

When they are manic, we can encourage them to come to us or someone else they trust so that we can act as a sound mind for them. We can also encourage them to try to control their actions no matter how they may feel while manic.

When they are depressed, we can encourage them to get up and do something, despite how they may feel. We can encourage them to keep going, even though it may seem like there is no point in doing so. We can even encourage them by reminding them that there is still things worth living for.

When they are in a normal state, we can encourage them to follow their recovery plan so that they can stay in that state for longer than they might have otherwise.

Regardless of what state they are in, encouragement is a thing that can be helpful in their lives, especially if it is a constant thing.

Consistency is a thing that can help our loved ones in their recovery process, and we can show them that consistency by encouraging them, being a voice of reason, and staying calm. Wouldn’t you want to be the one constant thing in their life?

What do you think?

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi, how’s your day going? I hope it is a good one.

I had a good day today. I went to a class on disability awareness, and they did an interesting demonstration to show us how it felt to have a disability.

First they had us try on glasses that had been painted black, and carefully walk around the room. So we got a small taste of what it is like to be blind.

Then they put earplugs in our ears and had us try to understand what other people were saying, just by reading their lips. So we got to understand what it might be like to be deaf.

Then they did something that I didn’t expect. They gave us mirrors and told us to put them next to our papers, so that we could see the paper in the mirror. Then they told us that we could only look in the mirror to see what we were writing. This was a very difficult task. When we were done, they told us that this was a small taste of what it was like to have dyslexia.

These were great exercises, and it was wonderful that it was promoting disability awareness.

It got me thinking: what would it be like to look through the eyes of someone who has bipolar disorder? Is there some trick I can do that would show me even a little bit of what it’s like? I don’t think there is anything that could be done to show exactly what it’s like, but maybe there are things we can think about, that will help us to understand better.

Bipolar disorder is a disorder that is based on a person’s moods. How many moods do we have throughout a day? I mean, if we were really to count exactly how many times our moods change in a day, what number would we end up with?

Most of the time, we don’t react to all of our moods. Our moods change a little when we see a sad commercial, or think of a funny thought, or get irritated by something that we know isn’t that big of a deal. These little moods usually get ignored as we go about the rest of our day.

What would happen if we had a pressing urge to act out each of those emotions? We would end up in tears every time that sad commercial came on the television. We would laugh hysterically at that funny thought, even though no one knew what we were laughing about. Every time we got irritated, even by something little, we would become angry, maybe even irate.

How would we handle this turmoil of emotions? Sometimes it is easy to think that if we had the disorder we could do better. But could we really do any better than our loved ones already do?

Many of our loved ones have learned to adapt to the change of their moods. They may have learned to follow their treatment plan so that they can live the best life that they can. They may have learned who they can go to for help when things get out of hand. There are many things that they do to adapt.

Could I have done better? I have to say I don’t know.

I am just so glad that there is hope for a good life when their treatment plan is followed. I am so glad that I can be part of my loved one’s life and support system.

What would it be like to see things through your loved one’s eyes?

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi, how’s your day going? I hope it is a good one.

Have you ever heard those jokes – the ones where two people walk into a bar? Two therapists walk into a bar. The first says, “Do you come here often?” The second says, “Only on my crazy days.”

These jokes are usually funny, but there’s something to be said of them, too. There are always two people interacting with each other.

Interaction can be a healing time for anyone, helping them regain perspective on the world and on themselves. It can be a time to make new friends or to enjoy spending time with the ones you already have. It can even be a time when a supporter gets to finally be supported themselves.

Everybody needs it. Unfortunately, not all supporters get the interaction they need and deserve. Sometimes we let ourselves forget about our own needs when we’re too busy focusing on the needs of our loved one.

Did you know it’s very difficult to take care of anyone else if you don’t take care of yourself first?

Interaction can help in many ways. It can give you feedback on what you could be doing better as a supporter. Spending time with friends and family can give you the strength to go back to your loved one with the patience and care you want to show them. You can learn things from interaction better than you can from being alone, both things about yourself and things about the world around you.

It can be a time to focus on yourself and on how you can enjoy life. It can be a time to grow in the different aspects of yourself and your life. It can even be a healing time when you feel hurt or alone. Friends and family can help you know you are loved and appreciated and that you have a shoulder to cry on when you need it.

Even basic interactions are helpful. Ever stood in line at the grocery store and the person ahead of you started talking to you about the price of groceries? Or maybe the weather? This may be “small talk” and may seem irrelevant, but it can still be a good thing. It gives you a chance to talk to someone that you will probably never meet again about things that you may or may not be interested in.

It is a good time to practice your interpersonal skills. We all need practice at them, even if it is just to keep up the skills we already have.

Interaction is also important with you and your loved one. If all you ever talk about is their illness, then it can be exhausting for both of you. If you make the effort to enjoy time well spent with them, it can help ease tensions and give you both the skills you need to deal with their illness.

Want to know a secret? It may even be fun.

Interaction is good for your loved one, too. When they get a chance to interact with other people they can get feedback on their behaviors which can help them learn to counteract their symptoms. They may have heard from you a hundred times or more that they are being jittery and not paying attention. But when they hear it from someone else they may realize that it is true.

There are times when you need to be apart from your loved one. Maybe you can interact with your family and friends so that you can refresh yourself to deal with them better when you get back to them. There are also times when it might be a good idea to bring them with you, so you can both enjoy some time with each other and with other people. These can both be good opportunities to fulfill your needs as a person and to get feedback on your thoughts and actions.

Have you ever wondered what it would be like if you were in one of those jokes? A person with bipolar disorder and their supporter walk into a bar.

What happens next? Do they meet new people? Do they enjoy a couple glasses of orange juice and exchange punch lines? Ultimately only they can decide.

Only you can decide if your choose to interact with people and meet your own needs.

There are many ways to do so. What are the ways that you can interact with people today?

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

How’s it going? Hope you are doing great.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews475/

Here are the news headlines:

Special court aims to keep mentally ill out of jail
DO> Do you think this is good or bad?

Counselors use life experiences to help
DO> Great inspiring article

Over-Diagnosis of Bipolar May Harm Children
DO> I agree, do you?

Three years later, no second thoughts from Rebecca Riley’s psychiatrist
DO> What do you think of this?

Bipolar Disorder – Is Your Brain Shrinking?
DO> Do you think this is true?

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews475/

==>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi, how’s your day going? I hope it is a good one.

I was talking to my cousins yesterday, and a topic that I didn’t expect came up.

She began talking about how much she loved her sister’s hair. Apparently, it could curl or straighten easily, depending on what she wanted that day. This all was beyond me, but I did pick up something from the conversation: my cousin was unsatisfied by her own hair.

I asked her, if she could change her hair, would she? For that question, I got a very sure “yes!”

It made me think, most of us have something in life that we would like to change. For some of us, it is as simple as the ease that our hair is styled. For others of us, it might be as serious as wanting our loved one to be cured from bipolar disorder.

Unfortunately, we can’t always have what we want. We can’t always control what life has dealt us. What we can control is how we handle it.

If we choose to let it get to us, we can end up depressed or bitter. That’s not something we want, and its not something that will help us or our loved ones. It is better to focus instead on how we can respond to the situation that we find ourselves in.

Have you ever stopped to think what all you can possibly learn from your loved one having bipolar disorder? It may be hard to think that something good could come out of the situation, but both you and your loved one can learn from the situation at hand.

You can learn strategies for handling difficult situations. You can learn perseverance through hard times, and strength even when you doubt. You can learn to accept help, and to know when to listen to other people’s advice. You can learn to see things from a different point of view. If you really work at it, you can even learn patience.

There are many other things you can learn along the way, and some of them you may already know. Some things we learn and don’t even realize that we’ve learned them until someone else notices that we’ve changed for the better.

After all we can learn from being the supporter to someone who has bipolar disorder, there becomes a benefit from being willing to support our loved ones.

No matter how hard times may get, and no matter how much we may wish that it weren’t this way, we can choose to focus on the positive things, and learn from the situation we are in.

What have you learned from supporting your loved one?

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

How are you today? I hope you are having a good day.

I’ve been reading the comments on these and other blogs, and I have seen the same type of comment over and over again. In this type of comment, a person will begin ranting about their psychiatrist, and end up saying that all psychiatrists are con artists and that no one should go to them for help.

There are so many ways I could address this.

To begin with, you cannot say that all ________ is ________ in any situation. You cannot say that all people with this color hair are this way or that way, or that all boys are this way and girls are that way. That sort of thing can never be true, because even if something is common there is still always the exception to the rule.

In this case, I am not even sure it is common.

I don’t know how many of you are aware of this, but becoming a psychiatrist is a long process that takes a lot of hard work. A person has to achieve a doctorates degree in medicine with a specialty in mental illnesses before they can be given the label “psychiatrist.” It isn’t just given to anybody.

The sorts of people that are con artists usually look for the easiest way possible to achieve their goals; that is why they became con artists. I don’t know about you, but I hardly think that the easiest way possible would be to go through and complete med school.

That being said, let’s assume I’m wrong. What sort of thing would a con artist do if they bothered to become a psychiatrist?

I would imagine that they would write “do not substitute” on all the prescriptions that they write, telling the pharmacists to give only name-brand medicines instead of generics. That could potentially benefit them, earning them points with the major drug companies. But I have never heard of a psychiatrist doing this, unless a patient was allergic to the generic or had some other problem with it.

Another thing a con artist might do is to over-charge for visits. Now, of course, each doctor comes up with their own fees per visit, but usually they are within a certain range. If you believe that your doctor is pricing his visits outrageously, then I would suggest calling around to check other people’s prices, and if you are right then change doctors. Most of the time that is not the case, though.

Another thing that a con artist might do is to put as little effort as is humanly possible into the work they are supposed to be doing. This might look like the doctor that asks you what medication you need to be taking, or that takes your suggestion as the final word without further questioning. There are certainly doctors that do this, unfortunately. If you have a doctor like this, then I would suggest changing doctors.

Another thing a con artist might do is to run up the credit card bill of the people who have used a card to pay them previously. I have yet to hear a news story of a psychiatrist doing so. But, if for some reason you suspect this to be the case, then I would suggest contacting your card company to debate the charges and to ask them for further advice on how to handle the situation.

Here’s another thing to consider: psychiatrists have to be licensed. One of the things that they have to do to obtain or keep their license is to remain in good moral standing. This means that if there were any serious complaints about them that could be looked into and proven true, that their license would be suspended or removed altogether. So the simple fact that a psychiatrist has been working for more than a year, is still in business, and has a license number that you can verify, means that the psychiatrist is probably not a con artist.

Now, there are certainly doctors that are not what they should be. I’m not even trying to suggest that all psychiatrists are good and perfect. Remember what I said about saying that all of anything is something? So even saying that all psychiatrists are good doctors would not be true.

I would certainly hope that most of them are, but without having visited all of them it’s hard to be sure.

I’ve heard of some psychiatrists who give out free samples and do their best to make sure that everything is covered by their patient’s insurance. That certainly doesn’t sound like a con artist. In fact, it sounds like an honest person trying to be helpful. Most psychiatrists are out to help you, not to hurt you, that’s why they went into the medical field to begin with.

Another thing to be considered is how much we need them. Most primary care doctors that I’ve heard of will not prescribe psychiatric medications. They generally want you to go to a psychiatrist for that. So if a person needs to be on psychiatric medications, then a psychiatrist is generally necessary.

Now what do you do if you end up with one of the doctors that is really bad after all? To begin with, I would suggest switching doctors.

If you believe that they have done something wrong that needs to be fixed, depending on what it is you may need to file a lawsuit. This may or may not always be possible, or even the best thing to do, but it is an option to consider.

Another thing you can do is to get their name and license number, and to call the agency that maintains their license and complain. You might even get their license suspended or revoked, in which case you would be doing the next person a favor.

But one thing I would always suggest is to try to work out the problem with the psychiatrist first. It would be a shame to get their license revoked over a misunderstanding or an accident. If the issue can be resolved by talking to them, then great.

One thing to do to make sure that you are dealing with a genuine issue is to make sure that the person with bipolar disorder takes in their supporters to make sure that everything is being understood correctly and that the person with bipolar disorder is not being irrational.

If the issue still cannot be resolved by talking to them, then it is probably time to switch doctors, and may be time to take further actions against them. Always try to use your better judgment, and to remember that psychiatrists are human too.

Not all psychiatrists are con artists, and if you happen to have found one that is, you have my sympathy. Does all of this make sense to you?

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

How are you today? I hope you are having a good day.

I have been hearing a lot of confusion lately about mania. What is mania exactly?

When you google search “define mania” you get some very strange answers, and some good ones. How do you know which are which?

For example, I found one definition that said it was a violent derangement of mind, that it was madness and insanity, and that you could also call it delirium. I find that funny, because most of those terms aren’t even politically correct terms to use anymore!

Another definition said it was an insane passion affecting a person. Well, that hits just a little closer to the truth, but it is still pretty far off.

Some of the definitions would lead you to believe that mania is a motive, or a disorder by itself. One definition even called it fanaticism! (Which means extreme passion.) So what is it really? Which parts of these definitions are true, and which parts are made up?

Let’s begin by going over what mania is not. It is not just a passion: it is much more than that. I’m not sure it can be called a motive, as it leaves the person unmotivated to do the things they should be doing. It is not a disorder by itself, it is a symptom.

So what sort of symptom is it?

One definition I found that came a little closer to the truth said something along the lines of: Mania is a state of abnormally high or irritable moods/arousal/energy levels. It is a criteria for certain diagnoses of psychiatric illnesses.

“High or irritable moods and energy levels.” It is easy enough to figure out what a high energy level is. But what is a high mood? When you have a high mood you feel elated. For example, when your friend surprises you with a card for no particular reason, just because they were thinking about you. This could make your whole day better. Or when you get done with a hard task and know that you have the rest of the day to yourself to relax. The accomplishment might give you a “high” mood.

The difference between these normally high moods and mania is that with mania there isn’t a good reason why the person is in such a good mood. In fact, they could be having the worst day imaginable, and they seem to be untouched by it.

Another symptom of mania can be irritability. Have you ever had one of those days where nothing could go right? Didn’t that make you irritable? People who experience mania can experience this for no particular reason.

Grandiose notions is another symptom, which basically means that the person believes that they are better and more capable than what they are, and maybe even in a higher position. They may believe they can do no wrong, no matter what they do.

People who are in a manic episode may talk to much, too quickly, and too loudly.

They may have racing thoughts that they cannot seem to slow down. Have you ever had that? Maybe at bedtime, all the events of the day run through your mind so that you cannot sleep. Imagine having that happen all of the time. Can you see why they might be irritable?

Maybe you’ve noticed this next one in the person you know that has bipolar disorder, but you might be hesitant to talk or ask about it. People who are in a manic episode have an increased sexual desire, and are more likely to involve themselves in inappropriate and even dangerous sexual activity.

Uh oh, now the cat’s out of the bag.

But it’s true, and sometimes it can affect the lives of a person with bipolar disorder and the people who love them in many ways.

Another symptom of mania is having all the energy in the world. Have you ever seen a young child? Especially a two-year old. I’ve heard so many people say that if only they could bottle up that energy and sell it they’d be rich. Well, if there was some way to take only the energy level out of mania and sell it, then they’d probably be even richer.

Now, maybe you’ve noticed this, and it was hinted at when we talked about the sexual desires. People who are experiencing mania have poor judgment. It’s not like they just make a few mistakes, like we all do. It is to the point that they cannot think rationally at all, and some things that we would normally think was obvious, and may even be obvious to them when they are not like this, are things that they can’t even understand right then.

Let’s take jobs for example. A person with bipolar disorder, we’ll call her Gina, has worked at her job for 10 years. It has been a stable job, and she loves working there. One day, while in a manic episode, she decides that another job that claims great promises would be better for her, and without even knowing if she has this other job, she quits the job she’s had for 10 years to pursue it. Sound familiar?

Another example of poor judgment that they may exhibit is in the use of drugs and alcohol. They also may spend money recklessly, or drive recklessly.

Do you remember when we talked about thoughts racing before bedtime? Can you imagine someone with all this going on being able to sleep well? Most people who are in a manic episode experience insomnia, or difficulty sleeping.

Sometimes a person who is in a manic episode experiences delusions or hallucinations, but this does not happen to everyone who experiences mania.

Other times, the person may experience rage or aggression. This is not to say that they naturally become violent just because they are in a manic episode. But they may have the feelings of anger and aggression for no apparent reason.

One thing to remember about mania is that it is abnormal. So if a person is experiencing only one or two things that happens to be on this list, and they are experiencing them in a normal way for normal reasons, then that is not mania.

So, despite all the randomly inaccurate definitions that are floating around on the internet, there is some truth to be found about what mania is. Does this all make sense to you?

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

How’s your day going?

I hope it is a good one.

Yesterday I was talking to an old acquaintance, and I was shocked to hear just how annoying she had become. I’m not meaning to sound rude, but it seemed like the only thing she did the entire time we talked was complain.

Apparently her new boyfriend couldn’t do anything right, and her babysitter was causing problems. There were other things she complained about also, but I won’t bore you with all of them.

I was surprised by how inconsiderate she was being by complaining constantly, but I was even more surprised to realize a bitter truth. That truth is: how often are we, as bipolar supporters, complainers just like she was?

How often do we spend so much time complaining about the things we don’t like, when we could be focusing on the things we do? How often do we waste our time that way, when we could be doing something more productive? That’s right, wasted time.

How many better ways could we be spending our time? I can think of a few. Can you?

I know it’s easy to fall into the pattern of complaining. I’ve certainly done it a few times. I think we all have had at least a few moments when we just need to vent everything that’s been going on with us lately. Everybody has those moments, whether they are a supporter of someone who has bipolar disorder or not. And as long as it stays an every-once-in- a-while thing, there’s nothing wrong with it.

But sometimes we let it go too far. Sometimes we let ourselves get so carried away in complaining about our loved ones that we forget that there are good things we can be talking about also. There is, after all, a difference between venting and complaining.

And there is a point where we spend so much energy complaining that we even forget that the person we are talking to might have something to say also. That’s when we run the risk of being as annoying as that old acquaintance of mine.

So what can we do to avoid all of this negativity? I know some people who would call that “negative energy” – I don’t really know what that means, but I know it isn’t something we want to have.

One of the things we can do to avoid negativity is simply to be positive. Go figure, right? It seems so simple! And guess what? It is!

All we have to do is think about the things that we really do love about our loved ones, and focus on them. That doesn’t mean that we have to ignore the bad things, or forget that they exist. It just means that they shouldn’t be the center of our focus.

Instead, when they do things that we can’t stand, we should allow ourselves to cope with the problem at hand, and then calm down and remember why we love them. After all, that’s what this is all about, isn’t it?

No one would be reading these emails if we didn’t love our loved ones. I wouldn’t even be writing these emails if I didn’t love my mother! But we all know that I love my mother, and you love your loved one.

So why do we complain about them? Most of the time it is out of frustration. So instead of complaining to a third party about something we are frustrated about, why can’t we just calm down and then talk to our loved one about what frustrates us?

This has to be done very carefully, of course. And it should be done when they are not in an episode, if that is at all possible.

But if we could just carefully approach our loved ones and say something like “Hey, you know it really frustrates me when you do this, do you think we can talk about what could be done instead?” How much of a difference do you think that would make? I can only imagine (and hope) that it would make a huge difference!

It would certainly be better than complaining about them to people who aren’t involved (and let’s face it, people who probably don’t care!) So instead of complaining, I’d like it if all of us – including me – would try to deal with the problem at hand and focus on the positive.

What do you think? Does that sound like a plan?

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

How’s it going? Hope you are doing great.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews474/

Here are the news headlines:

Five Things a Loved One Should Know About Bipolar Disorder: An Interview …
DO> Take a look at this.

In the shoes of the parent of a child with bipolar…
DO> Great article, very interesting.

Morristown man among “Three Y Guys” with one common cause
DO> What do you think of this?

Bipolar Disorder, Meds and Blood Sugar
DO> Great article

Book Review: After Her Brain Broke: Helping My Daughter Recover Her Sanity by …
DO> I am getting this book, I think it will be good.

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews474/

==>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi, how’s your day going? I hope it is a good one.

I had a friend once that told me that he was trying to have a conversation with his son, but he was having difficulty. You see, his son was too busy eating ice cream, watching television, and practicing his silly faces – all at once! As I’m sure you can imagine, this conversation wasn’t going anywhere!

Well, I happen to know that this particular kid spends most of his time walking around bored and looking for something to do. So I had to ask him why on earth he tried to have a conversation with him at the time that he was hyper? Doesn’t this seem a little silly to you? LOL.

It got me thinking, how often do we do the same thing with our loved ones? Now, it may not be as obvious that our loved one is “hyper” (or maybe it is), but there are still significant differences between when they are paying attention and when they aren’t.

Let’s face it, there are some times when no matter how hard you try, they are just not going to listen to you. This isn’t your fault, and it’s not really theirs, either. But it is still something that we should pay attention to.

After all, there is no point in starting an important conversation at a time like that.

Sometimes we get lucky, and our loved one is only like that for a little while. When that is the case, it is easy enough to just wait to have the important conversation until after they are done with their distracted period. Other times, it isn’t that easy.

There are also different levels of things that can keep them distracted, ranging from the simple to the annoyingly difficult to handle. For example, your loved one might just be distracted by the television, the same way that anyone else gets distracted by it.

On the other hand, your loved one might be distracted because they are in a manic state, and nothing you can do will convince them to pay attention to you. Obviously this is a very different situation to try to deal with.

If you need to, you can have a conversation with a person who is distracted by the television. But it is not so easy to have a conversation with someone who is distracted by a severe state of mania.

So the first thing I would encourage you to do is to figure out why they are distracted, and decide whether the distraction can be overcome or not. If the distraction can be easily overcome, then proceed with the talk you wanted to have with them. If the distraction is something that you could not overcome easily, such as in the case of mania, then a different approach is needed.

In this case, you might weigh out whether it is likely for the period of distractibility to end soon, or whether you think it will last a while. If you think it will pass, it is probably better to wait until it does, especially if the conversation can wait that long. If you think it will take some time, and the conversation cannot wait that long, then there are some other tricks you can use to get through the talk with as much ease as possible.

To begin with, think about what you want to say. In fact, think about it long and hard. What is the simplest way to say it? What is the simplest way to get the results you are looking for? The simpler you can keep the conversation, the more you will be able to get accomplished by it – even in the state that they are in now.

After all, when you are distracted, wouldn’t you like it if people who had to ask you questions kept it simple? It’s a general curtsey for the other person, and it helps you to stay productive in what you are doing. Hopefully it will even prevent fights and misunderstandings.

Remembering that mania can be distracting is essential if you are going to talk to your loved one while they are manic. After all, wouldn’t you want them to do the same for you if the situation were reversed?

What do you think?

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave