Hi, how’s your day going? I hope it is a good one.

I had a friend once that told me that he was trying to have a conversation with his son, but he was having difficulty. You see, his son was too busy eating ice cream, watching television, and practicing his silly faces – all at once! As I’m sure you can imagine, this conversation wasn’t going anywhere!

Well, I happen to know that this particular kid spends most of his time walking around bored and looking for something to do. So I had to ask him why on earth he tried to have a conversation with him at the time that he was hyper? Doesn’t this seem a little silly to you? LOL.

It got me thinking, how often do we do the same thing with our loved ones? Now, it may not be as obvious that our loved one is “hyper” (or maybe it is), but there are still significant differences between when they are paying attention and when they aren’t.

Let’s face it, there are some times when no matter how hard you try, they are just not going to listen to you. This isn’t your fault, and it’s not really theirs, either. But it is still something that we should pay attention to.

After all, there is no point in starting an important conversation at a time like that.

Sometimes we get lucky, and our loved one is only like that for a little while. When that is the case, it is easy enough to just wait to have the important conversation until after they are done with their distracted period. Other times, it isn’t that easy.

There are also different levels of things that can keep them distracted, ranging from the simple to the annoyingly difficult to handle. For example, your loved one might just be distracted by the television, the same way that anyone else gets distracted by it.

On the other hand, your loved one might be distracted because they are in a manic state, and nothing you can do will convince them to pay attention to you. Obviously this is a very different situation to try to deal with.

If you need to, you can have a conversation with a person who is distracted by the television. But it is not so easy to have a conversation with someone who is distracted by a severe state of mania.

So the first thing I would encourage you to do is to figure out why they are distracted, and decide whether the distraction can be overcome or not. If the distraction can be easily overcome, then proceed with the talk you wanted to have with them. If the distraction is something that you could not overcome easily, such as in the case of mania, then a different approach is needed.

In this case, you might weigh out whether it is likely for the period of distractibility to end soon, or whether you think it will last a while. If you think it will pass, it is probably better to wait until it does, especially if the conversation can wait that long. If you think it will take some time, and the conversation cannot wait that long, then there are some other tricks you can use to get through the talk with as much ease as possible.

To begin with, think about what you want to say. In fact, think about it long and hard. What is the simplest way to say it? What is the simplest way to get the results you are looking for? The simpler you can keep the conversation, the more you will be able to get accomplished by it – even in the state that they are in now.

After all, when you are distracted, wouldn’t you like it if people who had to ask you questions kept it simple? It’s a general curtsey for the other person, and it helps you to stay productive in what you are doing. Hopefully it will even prevent fights and misunderstandings.

Remembering that mania can be distracting is essential if you are going to talk to your loved one while they are manic. After all, wouldn’t you want them to do the same for you if the situation were reversed?

What do you think?

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave