The One Size Fits All Bipolar Technique


You’ve heard of One Size Fits All, right? You’ve probably even tried something that has had a tag on it that says “One Size Fits All,” right? (Most people have, and found out otherwise).

Here’s a perfect example: T-shirts. One Size Fits All. Yeah, right. Until you wash it and find out that One Size Fits ONE – a child! What about using the One Size Fits All technique on shoes? Wouldn’t work, would it?

Then why do some doctors treating patients with bipolar disorder try to use the One Size Fits All technique on them? They prescribe the same medications to all their patients with bipolar disorder! Back when bipolar disorder was first diagnosed, the first drug prescribed for it was Lithium. Lithium was touted as the “wonder drug” for bipolar disorder. Until some people had psychotic reactions to it! Some people did well on that drug (still do), but others didn’t. So the drug companies had to come up with other medications to treat bipolar disorder. The One Size Fits All technique sure didn’t work with Lithium!

In my experience, there are good doctors and bad doctors.

A bad doctor will use the One Size Fits All technique and prescribe the same medications for all his patients with bipolar disorder. Whereas, a good doctor recognizes that different patients have different needs. If he’s really good, you should feel as if you’re his ONLY patient (while you’re there). If he’s a good doctor, he shouldn’t just keep prescribing you the same medications every

time you see him, year after year after year. There should be changes from time to time. Otherwise, he too is following the One Size Fits All technique.

Let me ask you something. When you go to your therapist, do they act bored? Are they easily distracted? Do they take phone calls during your session? Do they do other things while you’re talking? Just like there can be good doctors and bad doctors, there can be good therapists and bad therapists, too, and these are all signs of a bad therapist, one who is using the One Size Fits All technique – who treats every client with bipolar disorder the same way.

It can even happen in Support Groups! I know, because I’ve been there, and seen it happen.

Mary tells Joe that her sister Lucy found this miracle cure for bipolar disorder, so Joe should put his wife Linda on it right away so she can be cured, too! Well, first of all, we all know there’s no cure for bipolar disorder, so there’s some kind of scam going on there. Second of all, just because something worked for so-and-so, doesn’t mean it’s going to work for you. Why?

Because One Size Does NOT Fit All!!!

Another example of the One Size Fits All is when one person tells another person that they go to the best doctor and that she should go to that doctor too, so she can get cured too.

First of all, as I said earlier, there is NO cure for bipolar disorder – only management of it.

Second of all, in this case, this woman is playing doctor and prescribing a “cure” for someone else, telling her what to do. In a desperate situation, someone might take the wrong advice.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,


Bipolar? Get Rid of This


I wanted to tell you something I told a friend of mine who is struggling with his business. He told me things weren’t going that well. He then told me about how the economy was and all these natural disasters. He even mentioned it could be the end of the world. What does he do?

He reads the news everyday. The news is like a scam if you ask me.

If you think that drug companies are running scams to get people on drugs they don’t need to be and this is hurting society I think the news hurts MILLIONS of people.

It causes depression — Look at the news every day and you can’t help but to get depressed. It misleads you –There’s tons of good news, but they never show it. It’s one sided, dramatic to shock you. It blows things up. The simplest thing is generally made to seem like it’s the end of the world.

Just look at gas prices. They show them to people who are almost homeless. They take the most extreme cases. And they leave stuff out so it’s really doom and gloom.

How about how they DON’T show people on my list that have bipolar disorder that are super smart and are working on ways to turn a car engine into one that runs on water? That’s not dramatic enough for them.

Sorry to rant and rave but I mean all this. It makes me mad.



Stop reading the news…Stop watching the news…Stop listening to the news…


Read and watch things that are POSITIVE… Turn away from negative stuff… Ignore people that talk doom and gloom…. Say “Hey I have to run.” Make something up….Walk away.

Advanced strategies – Take all the news channels on your TV and lock them so you can’t see them unless you put a code in. This is a neat trick my friend taught me. Some cable companies allow you to block channels for kids with a code. Like adult stuff. You can do the same thing with news channels. Call your cable company and ask how to block channels. Don’t tell them it’s for the news or they will think you are crazy or try to talk you out of it.

Subscribe to stuff that brings good news. There’s tons of it. Go to the book store and look around and you’ll find it. And, believe it or not, if you look for it, there is actually a newspaper that is filled with only GOOD NEWS!

When are you are dealing with bipolar disorder you need to be as positive as possible. There’s

already a lot of bad stuff with bipolar disorder. You don’t need to hear or see any more bad news.

If there is a disaster somewhere, you probably can’t help 99% of the time and you are working

on preventing your own disaster with you or your loved one. I teach that having the right positive attitude is CRITICAL when you’re dealing with bipolar disorder . Well, it’s critical when you’re NOT the one with bipolar disorder, too. Even if you’re a supporter, it’s critical

to have a positive attitude.

Hey one more thing. If you don’t believe me, how come whenever bipolar disorder is mentioned it’s about either a murder or a suicide. Do you think that everything that someone does every day with bipolar disorder is connected to a murder or suicide? Of course not, but the news wants to shock you. That’s what the news does – only report the negative stuff.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,


Bipolar Supporter – Tried Them All


If you’re a bipolar supporter, I have some good news and some bad news (don’t you hate when people do that?). The good news is that your loved one can get better. The bad news is that the bipolar disorder they have, works to try to prevent you from helping them get better.

Take a look at this: Someone with the handle “tried them all” wrote the following:

“For over six years, I have been lying to myself. I have been hurting myself emotionally and

physically. I seek help, but I am really lying that I want help at all. I’ve seen at least a dozen

professionals, none of whom have helped me. Although each and every one had a fault, I could

not overlook their deficiencies to see my own. I am angry, but won’t admit to my anger. My

anger is at myself…anger turned inward. I do harmful things to ‘act out’ my anger, but I only hurt myself and those around me. I have done nothing to help myself and all my efforts to seek help thus far have been in vain. I have lost the love of many. I no longer have the people and things that have meant most to me.

I have found that instead of working with these professionals, I have worked against them. Instead of trying to make things better, I have only made them worse. I have only thought negatively, rather than positively. Instead of saying “I can,” I make excuses for why “I can’t.” I don’t try now because I fear failure. I have failed because I have been lying to myself.”


You can see how this person is struggling with a battle against bipolar disorder. On the one hand, they want help. On the other hand, the bipolar works to stop the person from getting help. It is complicated indeed!

I find that in these situations, supporters have to make huge efforts to get their loved ones into the right treatment. It’s like bipolar disorder is your enemy, fighting against you all the time, and doesn’t want you to win, so in order to help your loved one, you have to step up your efforts every time the bipolar does (which seems to be all the time sometimes).

You can just feel the pain that this person in the post is going through. All the “on the one hand” and then “on the other hand,” whether they say it or not. They are so confused! I bet your loved one goes through the same thing. The most important thing is not only that they get treatment, but that they get the right treatment. Not only that, but they have to be cooperative with their treatment.

This person talked about the many professionals they sought for treatment. But then they said, “I have found that instead of working with these professionals, I have worked against them. Instead of trying to make things better, I have only made them worse.” One of the ways you can help your loved one is to encourage them to work with the professionals trying to help them. Tell them that they need to be part of their own treatment, or it won’t work, and they can’t get better – that they have to be HONEST with their treatment team.

First of all, if they don’t go to their appointments, they will NEVER get better, because how can they get ANY help at all? Tell your loved one that as much as you love them, that you can’t help them all by yourself – that they need these professionals to help them, too. Maybe you can even show your loved one this email and let them read the post from “tried them all,” so they can see how they might end up if they don’t cooperate with their own professionals. Let them see some of the things that this person said.

I’m sure your loved one doesn’t want to hurt themselves emotionally and physically like this

person says they’ve done. I’m sure your loved one doesn’t want to do hurtful things in “anger turned inward” to hurt themselves or you. Or to be like this person who goes on to say, “I have lost the love of many. I no longer have the people and things that have meant most to me.”

Maybe you should tell your loved one that you don’t want them to turn out like that. That you don’t want them to lose you, but that if they continue not to seek help for their bipolar disorder, that they might lose you anyway. I know that seems harsh, but many supporters have left their loved ones because, without proper treatment, their loved ones got worse, not better. I know you want your loved one to get better. I know that you love them, or you wouldn’t be with them.

One of the hardest things, supporters tell me, is getting their loved one into treatment. This post shows what happens when a person with bipolar disorder doesn’t get the treatment they need, or the right treatment.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,


Bipolar Supporter? You Better Not Do This

Hi, how are you today? I hope you’re doing ok.

I recently heard a story about a woman whose husband was an alcoholic. And she was frustrated (and all sorts of other negative feelings) because of it. The biggest thing she felt, though, was anger and resentment toward him because she had to keep “covering up” for his behavior. He would do something when he was drunk, and she would have to “bail” him out of it.

In fact, one time she actually did. She had to bail him out of jail after he got a DUI – drinking and driving. But she would constantly make excuses for his behavior. If he was hungover and couldn’t go into work that day, she would call his boss and make up some excuse for him. If he was drunk at a family gathering or something, her “cover up” (excuse) wasusually that he was “just tired.” She even made excuses to herself, to justify her husband’s behavior.

“He’s just been stressed out,” she would think.

She was even afraid that she might have something to with the reason why he drank, so she made more excuses. He squandered away so much money on a gambling spree when he was drunk one time, that his wife had had enough.

She stopped covering up for him, and she wouldn’t even stand for his own excuse for it. It had gotten to the point where she told him he needed to take responsibility for his own actions and the consequences of those actions.

For example, she told him that if he ever got arrested for drunk driving again, that she would NOT bail him out. In other words, she set a boundary. Now she just has to stick with it – if it does, indeed , happen, she can NOT bail him out of jail, even if she wants to, or else he will

keep repeating the bad behavior.

Well, eventually things got worse, and she stopped covering up for him at work, so he lost his job. Their relationship suffered so greatly that even her self-excuse that maybe she had something to do with his drinking didn’t hold water for her anymore.

She tried to get him to take responsibility for himself and to go get help, but he refused.

Finally, this woman left her husband.

But you might be asking what this story about the alcoholic has to do with bipolar disorder. Or else you’ve seen the parallel between this woman’s story and your own.

When someone with bipolar disorder is unstable, they can act just like this alcoholic man. They can go into a manic episode and do all sorts of things, leaving you to clean up the mess behind them. You better not do this!

If you keep making excuses for your loved one’s bipolar behavior, you may end up like the woman in the story. Your loved one needs to learn to take responsibility for themselves, their

actions (in or out of an episode), and the consequences of those actions.

What if your loved one gets arrested during a manic episode (for speeding, or shoplifting). what would you do? The first time, bail them out, probably. But what if it happens again? It would be just like the wife of the alcoholic.

Sometimes, the only way your loved one will take responsibility is if you make them. If you are not there to bail them out. If you stop making excuses (or covering up) for them. If you set boundaries and limits, and stick to them. If you make them pay their own consequences.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,


Current Bipolar News


What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:

Here are the news headlines:

Insomnia In Bipolar Disorder Linked To CVD Risk
DO> Great article, take a look.

MRI Distinguishes Between Bipolar Disorder And ADHD
DO> VERY interesting article about two disorders that are confused with each other.

Our Behavioral Health Care Systems Is In Disrepair
DO> Do you agree?

5 Things Health Insurance Companies Don’t Want You To Know
DO> What do you think of this?

Award-Winning Musical Tackling Mental Illness Comes To Philadelphia
DO> Wow this is fantastic, see if you can make it

FDA Alerts Public To Risperidone, Ropinirole Mix-Ups
DO> Take a look at this if you or your loved one take these medications.

For these stories and more, please visit:

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:

Your Friend,


The Bipolar Disorder Dance

Hi, how are you? I hope you’re doing good today.

I read a saying the other day that I thought was really interesting. And of course, when I find something interesting, I usually pass it along to you.

So here it is: “Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance.” Now I don’t know who wrote that, but I like it. I can see how it applies to bipolar disorder.

You could re-word it like:

“Bipolar disorder may not be what you counted on, but while you are facing it, you may as well deal with it.”

Life holds a lot of surprises. Some people start off on one path, and then find themselves on a totally different path. It’s happening right now with jobs in our economy – People who were in a certain career that they had trained for are now finding themselves having to look for a job in another area. Some people are having to learn a trade. Some people are having to go back to college at a later age. Some people are having to take lesser jobs, or jobs that they are overqualified for. Some people are having to take on a second job to provide for their family.

Some people are having to give up their homes and move into a smaller place. But they all do what they have to do to deal with the curves that life has thrown their way because of our economy.

It’s the same thing with bipolar disorder.

Bipolar disorder is probably one of the curves that life has thrown your way. You certainly didn’t ask for it. It wasn’t something you wanted to happen. But since you do have it, things will

go much better if you just accept it and learn how to deal with it.

Bipolar disorder is not your fault. You didn’t do anything to cause it, and you couldn’t have done anything to prevent it. But now that you do have it, you “might as well dance,” as the expression goes. You might as well do what you have to do to attain and maintain stability. You need to learn how to manage your disorder.

Just like if you really were dancing, you’d have to know the steps, with bipolar disorder you have to know the “dance of bipolar disorder.” That means you have to get as educated about the disorder as you can. The more knowledge you have about the disorder, the better equipped you will be to deal with it.

You don’t have to “dance this dance” alone, either. You should develop a strong support system that can help you.

You can make certain lifestyle changes to manage the disorder. For example, you need to take care of your physical body – Eat a healthy diet and exercise. Sleep is real important, too. You need to take care of yourself emotionally, because of the mood swings of bipolar disorder. That’s why you need to take medication and see a psychiatrist and therapist.

There is a way to master the “dance of bipolar disorder,” and you CAN learn the “steps.” You CAN achieve stability.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,


Why I Post Bipolar Negative Posts


I was reading a comment to my blog post that said the following:

Dave, why do you put these letters up as your blog post? What is your purpose in writing the posts? I thought it was to give bits of information about bipolar disorder, with thoughts for bipolar supporters.

What have you taught us today? Many, many times you have written posts telling us about

what people have said or done that make you mad. What does that teach us? Can’t you have the self-confidence to manage those things on your own? It really feels like you’re seeking praise and gratitude and reassurance from the people on your mailing list – and, boy, do you get it!

With only a few exceptions, people fell all over themselves to thank you and encourage you and

praise you; many even felt so bad for you and told you not to be upset, etc., said they’d pray for you…


This was in reference to a post I sent out that had a response to a person that basically said really bad things to me. This person asked why do I do this — Is it to seek praise? (Nope, but I would say hearing nice things once in a while in this field I certainty don’t reject:))

As a side note, I challenge anyone to do what I have done. I really do. Start something like this. Take no salary. Do it for YEARS. Hire those with the disorders that are on your list. Create all the systems. Build a team, etc.

Anyway back to my point. I do it to show people what people who are NOT on medication can and probably will do.

These types of comments which I will certainly post every now and then TEACH LESSONS.

If you don’t think so, ask yourself this question: If up to 20% of the people who have bipolar

disorder and are not on medication commit suicide, why is that? Probably because they didn’t even know what there were capable of doing when not following the right treatment plan.

So, yes, I do posts like this. And yes, I talk about your loved one sticking to their treatment plan so they will not be like one of these statistics.

I want people to be informed about bipolar disorder. I want their loved ones to be informed about bipolar disorder. I am in the business to help people with bipolar disorder. And part of that is to post negative pots so people can see what happens when people with bipolar disorder go off their medication and don’t follow a good treatment plan, which is what I advocate and what I teach.

So even when I get negative comments, even when they cut me down, or say terrible, horrible things about me and/or my work (which they do, unfortunately), sometimes I do post these comments so you can see what can happen to your loved one – so you can see how very, very important it is, as a supporter, for you to help your loved one to stay on their medication and follow their treatment plan. You don’t want them to become one of these people, do you?

I’m sorry I had to send you this post. Normally it’s not my philosophy to defend myself against negative comments. But I wanted you to know so I could TEACH you something. So I could WARN you. I hope you understand now.

p.s. Don’t worry, I do get many more positive comments than negative ones.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,


Dealing with Bipolar – What Would You Say?


I was reading an article in the newspaper about a professor who was asked to give a lecture on what he would say to the world if he could – about what he thinks matters most.

I thought about that…

And you know how I always relate everything to bipolar disorder, so instead of thinking of it

so globally as, “What would you say to the world?” I thought about you:

Being a supporter of a loved one with bipolar disorder, what would you say to another supporter

of a newly diagnosed loved one with the disorder?

Think about your answer:

• Would you tell them about the importance of medications? Because that’s one of the first

things that you have to deal with, and a crucial part of proper treatment.

• Would you tell them about the importance of getting their loved one a good doctor?

Because, for sure, they’re going to need one.

• Would you tell them that they’re going to need to help their loved one to get a good therapist?

Because that’s an important part of a good support system.

• Would you refer them to

Because they will certainly need the information from this website, just like you do – but is only having the website enough?

• Or would you be more personal with them and share your own experiences as a supporter?

• Would you tell them the bad as well as the good?

• Would you tell them how difficult the road is ahead for them, or would you try to spare them from this?

• Would you just complain and tell them how hard it is to be a supporter?

(Trying to keep them realistic)

• Would you be encouraging and tell them that although it may be hard sometimes, that it’s worth it?

• Would you tell them that their loved one can get better?

• Would you share some of your “tips” or “secrets” on how you deal with being a supporter?

• Would you even answer them at all, or think that it’s none of their business (or none of your business)?

• Would you try to avoid them, thinking that you really have nothing share, or no good advice to give?

• Would you not answer them, because you’re struggling with the same questions


• Would you refer them to someone else (more qualified than you), like a bipolar

support group or a therapist?

The point is, how do you feel about yourself as a supporter? Do you even feel like you could give another supporter advice about being one? Could you share any tips/secrets about how to

deal with living with a loved one who has bipolar disorder?

Are you even willing to open up to someone you don’t know (or barely know, like through a support group) and share what it’s really like to be a supporter? Or do you feel too private about it, or like it’s no one else’s business how you cope with it?

Do you feel like you’re barely hanging on yourself and wish someone else would give YOU advice?

So, back to my original question:

Being a supporter of a loved one with bipolar disorder, what would YOU say to another supporter of a newly diagnosed loved one who has the disorder?

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,


Bipolar Baby Steps


Remember the movie, “What About Bob?” It came out several years ago and starred Richard Dreyfuss as this psychiatrist who was being continually harassed by one of his patients, played by Bill Murray. Remember it now?

Well, I was just thinking about it the other day. I was thinking about the plot — how this guy

Bob, he’s just a regular guy (well, not regular, really, he’s actually pretty neurotic) – he is so

afraid of everything that he goes to this psychiatrist to help him.

The main theme is “Baby Steps.” (That’s the name of the psychiatrist’s book in the movie and the type of psychiatry he pushes.) So I was thinking about it and thinking about you and how the two go together. So this is how I see it:

So much of the time I talk about the “heavy” issues associated with bipolar disorder and your

loved one. And maybe some of these things are too hard for you (or your loved one) to deal with right now. Maybe your loved one has just been diagnosed, for example, or maybe they’re in denial, or maybe they are medication non-compliant, or maybe they’re just hard for you to deal with, or whatever. So some of the things I talk about are hard for you to apply to your situation.

So today I want to talk about BABY STEPS. Celebrating small victories.

When I talk to people, I talk in the very beginning about medication, setting up a strong support system, following a treatment plan, etc., but it is in the implementing of these things that the small victories come, in the beginning (for some people, even in the later stages, as well!), the baby steps.

For example, if you’re struggling with your loved one just to get them to take their medication, and you finally “win the battle,” that is a small victory! (in the big scheme of things), a baby step.

Or if you’re just trying to get them to get out of bed because they’re so depressed, and they’ve been in bed for a week… and then one day you’re able to get them out of bed (finally) – that is a small victory, a baby step!

Celebrate small victories! Remember: BABY STEPS

What if your loved one doesn’t want to go to their doctor’s appointment, but you talk them into it,

or even go with them? That’s a small victory (baby step).

What if they don’t want to go see their family? Many people with bipolar disorder have problems with their families because they have pushed them away, or they have done things during bipolar episodes that have hurt them, or whatever. But what if you convince them to let their family come to see them to start working on making up? That’s a small victory (baby step).

What if your loved one refuses to go to their bipolar support group one night? That can be a problem, because one night can easily turn into two nights, and pretty soon they stop going at all.

But what if you talk them into it by agreeing to go with them? That’s a small victory (baby step).

Celebrate small victories! Rejoice in baby steps!

What if they go one month without an episode? That’s a small victory (baby step)! What if they go 3 months without an episode? That’s an even bigger victory (bigger step)!

So you go from baby step to baby step, and pretty soon you get to where you want your loved one to be. And, along the way…That’s right! You…Celebrate small victories! And rejoice in baby steps!

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,


Current Bipolar News


What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:

Here are the news headlines:

Bipolar Fact vs. Fiction: Insider Tells All
DO> Wow, what do you think of this?

Europe faces Neuropsychiatric Research Vacuum
DO> Can you believe this?

Lakeland Woman Finds Relief Sharing Bipolar Disorder in Her New Book
DO> Very interesting story, take a look.

Drug Company pays $862000 to Michigan to settle Medicaid Fraud Claim
DO> Geeze, another situation like this, sad

Walk Strives to Help Prevent Suicide
DO> This is such a great cause, please read this

For these stories and more, please visit:

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:

Your Friend,