Hi,
I was reading a comment to my blog post that said the following:
Dave, why do you put these letters up as your blog post? What is your purpose in writing the posts? I thought it was to give bits of information about bipolar disorder, with thoughts for bipolar supporters.
What have you taught us today? Many, many times you have written posts telling us about
what people have said or done that make you mad. What does that teach us? Can’t you have the self-confidence to manage those things on your own? It really feels like you’re seeking praise and gratitude and reassurance from the people on your mailing list – and, boy, do you get it!
With only a few exceptions, people fell all over themselves to thank you and encourage you and
praise you; many even felt so bad for you and told you not to be upset, etc., said they’d pray for you…
=====================================================================
This was in reference to a post I sent out that had a response to a person that basically said really bad things to me. This person asked why do I do this — Is it to seek praise? (Nope, but I would say hearing nice things once in a while in this field I certainty don’t reject:))
As a side note, I challenge anyone to do what I have done. I really do. Start something like this. Take no salary. Do it for YEARS. Hire those with the disorders that are on your list. Create all the systems. Build a team, etc.
Anyway back to my point. I do it to show people what people who are NOT on medication can and probably will do.
These types of comments which I will certainly post every now and then TEACH LESSONS.
If you don’t think so, ask yourself this question: If up to 20% of the people who have bipolar
disorder and are not on medication commit suicide, why is that? Probably because they didn’t even know what there were capable of doing when not following the right treatment plan.
So, yes, I do posts like this. And yes, I talk about your loved one sticking to their treatment plan so they will not be like one of these statistics.
I want people to be informed about bipolar disorder. I want their loved ones to be informed about bipolar disorder. I am in the business to help people with bipolar disorder. And part of that is to post negative pots so people can see what happens when people with bipolar disorder go off their medication and don’t follow a good treatment plan, which is what I advocate and what I teach.
So even when I get negative comments, even when they cut me down, or say terrible, horrible things about me and/or my work (which they do, unfortunately), sometimes I do post these comments so you can see what can happen to your loved one – so you can see how very, very important it is, as a supporter, for you to help your loved one to stay on their medication and follow their treatment plan. You don’t want them to become one of these people, do you?
I’m sorry I had to send you this post. Normally it’s not my philosophy to defend myself against negative comments. But I wanted you to know so I could TEACH you something. So I could WARN you. I hope you understand now.
p.s. Don’t worry, I do get many more positive comments than negative ones.
Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
Post responses below
Quote – ‘If up to 20% of the people who have bipolar disorder and are not on medication commit suicide, why is that?’
What is the source of the data for the statistic? If this is a proven fact, then is it fair to say that a supporter or spouse that prevented their dependent or spouse from taking their medication could be charged with man slaughter or endangerment? I know a patient that experienced this and their life went into a downward spiral for over 3 years because they went off their meds and ended up divorced and lost visitation with their children.
Thoughts?
Hi David,
I am new to the ‘bipolar world'(mother of young biplar 13 year old son) and am only begining to realize the strange dimensions of his experiences, having to learn my new role as his advocate and provide more support and more assisstance in his daily life. I appreciate your emails as someone that has already navigated the messy dark hallways of the mental health care system! I will continue to welcome your emails!
I believe that all the information we can get, positive and negative, is extremely important to better understanding this complex disorder. I don’t like the idea of “sensationalizing” certain negative news, as I tend to think that it encourages the further “stigmatization” of bipolar disorder. (Eg. certain news headlines) Sometimes I feel that these show a negative connotation regarding bipolara disorder, and, although I know the negatives involved only too well, some news headlines distress me when there is no “follow-up” to share the mental health aspects involved. As far as David’s comments, I believe that he always has a point of view he wishes to get across, and he does it through stories that make us sit up and listen.Maybe they are negative sometimes, but we get the point. But his positive points, such as “Baby Steps” for instance, are so very helpful, that we can’t help but admire his skill at helping us to be more aware and to understand this disorder. Many, many thanks to David and his wonderful group. David, if you want a distributer of you manuals and information in Canada, please let me know. There is a huge “audience” here!
Sue
My son was diagnosed first with ADHD, then with bipolar disorder while still in elementary school. He took his meds and was fairly successful in school until halfway through his junior year of high school. He quit taking his meds, started drinking, got in trouble at school. He did not graduate with his class, but did graduate in the summer. He has not been able to keep a job. He smokes marijuana almost daily. He currently has a warrant for his arrest for traffic tickets and is making court appearances for possession of marijuana. We have given him so many chances. I love him, but I live in fear that he is going to be at the wrong place or mess with the wrong person and get killed or od on something.
David first I would like to say a big thank you to you for all you do and have done with educating people about this very difficult issue to deal with. If I had not found your site and information about bi-polar, I would not have been able to change my coping skills with the man that was in my life who is bi-polar and refuses to get any kind of help and chooses to deal with things on his own, the violence and abuse both in the physical and verbal and mental and emotional became too much for me and then the cheating and finally the abandonment as he walked out of the door of my life after so many times for the last time. He left for a woman who is a drug addict/alcoholic and blew 6 years of sobriety for her and now engages in the dangerous world of drug addiction again and all I ever did was love and care for and about him to no avail. Those out there that have not or do not deal with the issues we have and we do will not understand what it is that you do with your e-mails and courses, although I am not in a position to afford them I will say that everything that I have read in your e-mails and other things has taught me enough to have been able to save my life by staying calm when my life was in danger at the hands of the man I stood by and loved. No he refused to get help and is and will remain in denial and it’s sad that he has chosen this path again but I will and can only love him from a distance now, as a supporter my life had to come first now or I would not have a life to live at his hands. Keep up your good works and overlook the comments of those who really have not walked in your or my shoes. We are not able to sugar coat those who have this disorder and who go off meds or refuse meds, their behaviour is and can be dangerous to those of us that are or have been on the receiving end of it. God Bless you David and keep it up I will always be grateful to you for your information.
Beverley
I am writing in response to your e-mail that you poseted on 6-22-2011. I feel that the person that wrote that blog is wrong. I am on that personally learns a lot from each one of your e-mails. I am an individuals that suffers from Bipolar and I have a partner that supports me greatly and he looks forward to your e-mails as well to help him in learning new ways in dealing with me. Thank You so much for all you do.
Dave,
I have been reading your emails for years and I can tell you they have been a God send. God Bless you in your endeavors and keep them coming.
Best,
Karen
Well, I for one am glad that you teach others from your own personal experience regarding bipolar…If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have the foggiest idea…and I have a bipolar sister, and my first reaction was to distance myself from her rather than try to be supportive, because I just didn’t know what was wrong; why she was so ‘different’ and she’s been this way all of her life and did not get properly diagnosed until after age 35! So, while you may not be a Dr., Lawyer or ‘Indian Chief’, your information is very helpful and thank you for taking the time that you do…
Hey David. I’m John and I’ve received your mail for a while now. Thank you for all the mail. I look forward to it. Keep up the good work. SINCERELY , JOHN ISAACS
Count me in as another reader who believes that your e-mails and newsletters contribute to our understanding of bipolar disorder. After meeting hundreds of people with depression and/or bipolar disorder over the past decade as a DBSA volunteer, I will be the first to admit that we still have a lot to learn, and I am only too willing to hear from someone who has taken the trouble to study this subject in-depth.
dave, KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK you are doing . i live in australia with a 23 yr old with that dirty word ( bipolar ) .you have been given a gift from GOD never give up dave . emails , cds a big thank you. peace be with you my friend regards GARY
Hi My Friend,
you certainly are good at what you do – I’m shocked at people’s opinions. Actually you do deserve praise because this is not just a career choice of yours it’s “quite” personal….DUH – A LOVED ONE – how did many people miss that???? YOU ARE A SUPPORTER OF A LOVED ONE – YOUR MOM so it quite naturally inspires you to help those with her condition.
I LOVE MY BIG BROTHER very much (incredible right?) I can’t say what cause it is but I’m considered a passionate Supporter as well why??? for me “it’s quite personal” and as you may be able to attest very fulfilling and rewarding.
Later Gator and keep up your good work – appreciate it!
David,
I think anyone who adds to the dialogue, raises awareness, informs and encourages the way you deserves a lot of commendation and appreciation. It does take a lot of bravery to help others in a public forum because there will always be criticism, jealousy and just plain differing points of view out there. But please keep up what you do. The many people you help out hugely, immensely outnumbers the few who talk negatively about what you do (and who knows, maybe you still help those who express themselves negatively — it gets them to express themselves and think about it). People choose to subscribe to your site if they want to hear what you are saying. No one is forced to read it against their will. Thank you for everything you and keep up the good work. And THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU !! for helping others with bipolar and their supporters!
Hello Dave……..
in response to your e-mail post you sent me about negitive e-mails about Bi-polar…well I think they are great learning from you, showing both sides of Bi-polar, the good and the bad, and what different experiences you have encountered with BP…and “soft selling” your products on here?! I think it is great you do tell us about your products in here, you are far one of the best sites I have come across for getting some serious information, knowledge about Bi-polar here…so ignore the ones who say you are pushy and soft selling your products, I have kearned more than I ever have from your products here, and your site and all your e-mails, helping me to better understand my self with BP and my husband……who denies he has it, but he does, he is one who is sooo not in touch with his BP and it has ruined our marriage, I cannot handle being with him any more because he refuses to acknoledge he has it, and refuses to learn and how to cope with it!! and yes most people may not even know who have it, can be dangerous, this place has helped me greatly, and I do pass on your site to many people by the way!!!
Christina.MacDonald168@gmail.com
I’ve been bi-polar since about 13 years old. Started meds. @ 33 years old. Melested as a very young child by brother, when I was 18 years, finally told mom a very little. I expected a Oh I’m so sorry, or something like that… Unfortunely I got a blank stare… Whent about her life as if I had not said anything. 20 to 25 men were interested in my sexual life 8 years to 18 years. I never instagated any of them. My home we lived in 1968 new home had 3 bedrooms 2 older girls shired, brother 6 years older shaired bunkbeds. what fools my parents were. In the rented home & area he was sexually active. This scared me. Most of us were invisiable children never giving parent any problems. 2 older ones lot of problems with behaviors. Dad though a good provider, a heavy drinker, 6 pack each and every night. As far back as I can remember. Mother on valium. Minapause I guessed. I’ve had 4 husbands, each I try to fix them. 1st abusive got out before he hit me, but was pregnet. rased him with 2nd husband, diabetic brittle lots af health problems, had 3 young children of a divorce too. died 10 years 1 month 2 weeks later Left me to raise 4 teens at one time, & 11 year old. His father died in 1991, my father died 1991, his mother died 1992 spring, husband died 1992 june 1 week after school let out. next day kids decieced family wanted to take kids away from me, through the courts. but my mother loaned me moneys to get the kids as it was their wish. year later after the court was done I FELL APART. Stayed in the hosp. 1 week Nurse said:” This must be a nice vacation.” If she only knew… Had another bad husband met at the Hosp. Med. change up. tune up… very wrong timing for me… lasted 2 years he was still in love with married xwife. Where he currently lives.. love your articles they encourage to keep going. Married for the last time 3 months ago. It has its ups and downs, He’s a good guy, & has had a sister with bi-polar so he understands some… PLEASE KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK. No i’ve never had a good therepest, cant afford it. susan Siemens
Dave, i think your GREAT! informing us of what could happen if bipolar people seek no treatment and teaching and guiding us of what to do….i’m bipolar and i’m on meds, i have bad and good days and reading your e mails make my day. i love receiving your informative e mails. keep up the good work!
Just keep up the excellent work you are doing informing and keeping the light on at the end of the tunnel. That is how I call the journey I went through until my daughter could be diagnosed. Thanks for your encouraging words and ideas on how to deal with the daily struggles of this disease.