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If you have bipolar disorder, being consistent in your routine, with your sleep schedule, healthy diet and exercise, gives you a greater chance of stability with your disorder.

You also need to be consistent with your medication and with your treatment.

These things are CRUCIAL for you to achieve stability.

Remember the “slow and steady wins the race” idea.

Consistency will eventually pay off for you in the long run.

Supporters have to be consistent as well, in their love, support and understanding, as their loved one becomes more consistent.

PERSISTENCE

If someone is consistent, it is much easier for them to follow that with persistence.

Persistence is when you set your goals and you go after those goals, not letting anything stand

in your way.

Someone famous said, “If you believe it, you can achieve it.” But I’m telling you, you cannot achieve it by sitting at home just thinking about it. Productivity is SO important for someone with bipolar disorder.

Without it, it is too easy to become idle, lazy, bored, and…

Depressed.

Which can very easily trigger someone into a bipolar depressive episode.

Setting goals and achieving them (being productive) is one of the best ways not only to avoid a bipolar episode, but also to be productive.

Being productive leads to a better lifestyle, and eventually to stability.

IF you are PERSISTENT enough to get there!

BALANCE

You also must maintain a balance physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

It’s like a table with four legs.

If one leg is out of balance, the other 3 might be able to keep you balanced, but not by much (depending on how strong the other 3 are).

But if 2 are out of balance, your life will definitely be out of balance.

And when someone with bipolar disorder is out of balance, they will go into an episode.

So balance is an absolute necessity in your loved one’s life.

You can be a big help here. The more balanced you are, first of all, the easier it will be for you to handle your loved one’s “bipolar world.”

Second of all, you will be a good example to your loved one of what it’s like when someone has balance in their life, and want it for themselves.

So when you have CONSISTENCY, PERSISTENCE, and BALANCE all working together, your loved one has a VERY good chance for stability!

Which of these is the most troublesome in your life?

Which seems the hardest for your loved one?

Bipolar? Be Patient and It Will Happen

David Oliver July 29, 2009 Daily Bipolar Disorder Message 4 Comments

Hi,

How’s it going for you today?

I actually have Jury Duty today so I have to get going.

I seriously hope it doesn’t drag on and on because I have so many other things to do–like volunteer tonight.

Anyway, you know about my goddaughter, right?

I probably talk about her a lot (but that’s because she’s my goddaughter!).

Well, she is so curious, which is probably common for her age.

She tries to get into everything.

But she is also so impatient, too!

She knows what she wants, and she wants it NOW!

Well, that made me think about how there are two kinds of people in this world:

Those who are impatient (like my goddaughter)…

And those who are patient.

Impatient people who like to read are those who will jump to the end of the book to see how it turns out, then go back and finish the rest of the book.

Right, do you know someone like that? I hate that! I couldn’t do it.

Or someone who fast forwards through a DVD just to see how the movie ends, then goes back and watches it. Come on now, that’s beyond impatient to the absurd! (I hope that’s not you)

Well, when it comes to bipolar disorder, there are those same two kinds of people.

When it comes to the patient ones, it kind of reminds me of the line from that movie “Field of Dreams,” where he says, “Build it and they will come.”

Stability is like that.

Be patient, and it will come.

But let’s talk about the impatient ones first.

The impatient ones are like my goddaughter.

They know what they want (stability, of course).

And they want it NOW!

There are two basic problems with this:

1. Stability is a process – it doesn’t

happen overnight.

2. You have to work to gain stability –

it doesn’t happen by itself.

People who don’t recognize that stability is a process are not willing to go through the necessary steps and needed changes to get there, and that is sad, because they will have more episodes, and it will take much, much longer for them to recover (if they ever do).

Impatient people with bipolar disorder who are not willing to do the necessary work to gain it will never achieve stability because they are probably lazy and unproductive – and stability is not something that someone else can do for you; you have to do it for yourself.

Impatient people with the disorder will also have problems with relationships and at home on top of problems with their disorder, because their impatience will carry over into all other areas of their life.

They will often find themselves alone, whereas a person trying to gain stability who realizes the value of a good strong support system will be better off than they are.

Impatience pushes people away, even alienates them, and you need people to gain stability.

In my courses/systems, I discuss how important it is to be patient with bipolar disorder and to understand that stability does not happen overnight.

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Impatient people have a much, much harder time reaching stability than patient people do.

Patient people know how to wait for things (like the “build it and they will come” thing).

A patient supporter is the best supporter because they know how to “wait out” their loved one’s episodes.

And that is a very, very difficult thing to do, as you know.

When both the supporter and the loved one with bipolar disorder are patient, they are an unbeatable team!

When two people together are fighting this serious disorder, there is a much greater chance for stability than if one person were trying to fight it alone.

Your role as a supporter is so important, especially in encouraging your loved one.

And sometimes your patience may be tried, but if you can conquer that, it will make such a difference!

If you have bipolar disorder, and you can be patient with your progress, little steps will lead to greater steps, and eventually you will become stable.

A lot of it has to do with your attitude.

A positive attitude will go far in helping you to be patient.

Whereas a negative attitude just feeds into impatience.

I would much rather be a patient person than an impatient one.

What about you?

Bipolar Disorder? Discover The 10/2 Equation

David Oliver July 28, 2009 Daily Bipolar Disorder Message 21 Comments

Hi,

How’s it going for you?

Today I need to talk to you about something that is really bothering me.

You know I get tons and tons of emails, right? Well a lot of them are positive ones, and they make me feel really good, like ones that tell me how much these emails help them, and others on how much they have learned from my courses and things like that, like in all the testimonials

I have.

Those are the emails I really like, and the ones I’m used to, pretty much. But then there are the emails I get that really get me down. And I’m not a person who likes to get down, or who gets down easily.

But I got this email, and this woman went on and on and on about her problems. Now, don’t get me wrong – it’s not that I don’t care about people’s problems, because I wouldn’t be doing

what I’m doing if I didn’t care. You know that, right?

But it’s just that I deal in solutions. That’s what I write about and teach in all my courses, how to find solutions, and how to be solution-oriented:

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Not dwelling on the problems is part of it. Being a positive person is another part of it. But definitely NOT being a negative person is NOT part of it! You can’t find ANY solutions that way! And no one likes to listen to a complainer.

I don’t dwell in the negative – I dwell on the positive, and I surround myself with positive people, because they bring me up, and keep me positive, too. I get really disappointed when people around me are negative.

Like this email I got the other day where this woman just went on and on complaining, but didn’t offer any kind of solution to the problems she was having.

To tell you the truth, after reading that email, I felt like I should have charged her a consultant’s fee, like a psychiatrist would do, just for reading (“listening to”) all her complaints!

Now again, I don’t want hate mail for this, or people saying I don’t care, when you know how much I do care.

The point is, after all this positive email I had read, this one negative email had the power to bring me down. Why? Well, I thought about it.

And then I talked to Michele (who works for me) about it.

And she told me about this equation she used when she was bringing up her kids:

THE 10/2 EQUATION

Regarding negative people…

If you are a 10 and they are a 2, and you hang around with them, you will not bring them up to an 8, they will bring you down to a 4.

————————————–

She used this in teaching her children how to choose their friends wisely. But really, can’t you see how it can be used in dealing with bipolar disorder as well?

Here, follow me with this, as I apply it to the email I got. I can either surround myself with positive people or negative people.

Regarding the email I got, I am the 10 and she is the 2. I could try to answer her with positive answers, and try to bring her up to an 8, but considering how negative her email was, most

likely that won’t work, and she will just succeed in bringing me down to a 4 instead.

See what she’s done already? I’m already bummed out about it, feeling negative, letting it upset my day to the point that I’m writing about it in this email!

OR…

I can choose to stay a 10 on the positivity scale in the 10/2 Equation. I can let that email go. I can surround myself with positive people. I can stay positive and NOT let negative people bring me down.

These are choices I can make.

People like the lady in the email are going to be negative no matter what. They will try to get other people to listen to them complain, because they are negative and not solution-oriented.

They just want someone to buy into their negativity and listen to them.

But we don’t have to do that. We are TENS! We have a choice! We don’t have to be brought down to 4’s if we don’t want to! We can surround ourselves with positive people!

Have you had problems like I had with this woman?

Have you found yourself surrounded with negative people?

Can you relate to the 10/2 equation?

Bipolar Supporter? Get This New Bipolar DVD Pack FREE

David Oliver July 27, 2009 | July 28, 2009 Special Offer 7 Comments

Hi,

I am actually giving away a bunch of FREE DVD Packs for

those supporting a loved one with bipolar disorder.

You can get more information by visiting:

Dave

Bipolar? Consider the Source

David Oliver July 27, 2009 Daily Bipolar Disorder Message 16 Comments

Hi,

I hope you’re having a good day.

I was recently talking to a woman whose mother was in a bipolar episode.

At first I felt real sorry for this woman, because I know what she was up against.

But then she started being real critical of her mom.

Then I felt sorry for her mom!

I mean, I remember when my mom was in her really bad, like her worst ever, episode in 2004…

I would get so mad at her because she would scream and yell at me and call me names and everything.

My mom was critical of me, too, and would say things she never even remembered saying during

the episode.

Now, that didn’t mean that they would hurt me any less, whether she remembered them or not, or

that they would make me any less mad, but I couldn’t be critical of her, because she was in an episode.

And that’s what I want to talk to you about.

In my courses/systems, I talk about not taking things personally.

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Well, this is sort of like that.

It’s called:

CONSIDER THE SOURCE.

Like this woman who I was talking to, when she got critical of her mom in an episode, she wasn’t considering the source.

If she had, maybe she wouldn’t have been so critical.

Her mom probably said some pretty bad things, I’m sure, just like my mom did (probably like

your loved one does when they’re in an episode)…

But you can’t fault them when you consider the source.

Just ask yourself:

Would they ever do or say those things if they WEREN’T in an episode?

So…

CONSIDER THE SOURCE.

When your loved one is complaining…

Ranting and raving at you…

Calling you names…

Accusing you of things…

Saying any other kinds of things that aren’t true…

CONSIDER THE SOURCE…

Because you know they’re in an episode.

You know they aren’t themselves.

You know they wouldn’t normally behave this way…

Or say or do these things.

So you need to (like I say in my courses/systems) NOT take it personally, and…

CONSIDER THE SOURCE.

Consider that these things are coming from a sick person who is in a bipolar episode.

If they were being said or done by someone else other than your loved one…

With any other kind of illness…

Would you take it this personally?

Would you be as hurt?

Would you be as critical?

Would you be as unsympathetic?

Or would you…

CONSIDER THE SOURCE?

Try to remember these things and to look at your loved one as suffering from an illness they can’t control the next time they go into a bipolar episode.

Bipolar Supporter? Sometimes You Just Need One

David Oliver July 26, 2009 Daily Bipolar Disorder Message 25 Comments

Hi,

Hope you’re doing ok.

I got this comment on one of my posts recently, and wanted to share it with you, because it is the reason I chose what I did for today’s topic:

“Dear Dave, I love my husband very much,

I just want you to know that. But I just can’t

stand the way he acts sometimes! During

episodes is the worst, but even in between

episodes, it’s like he’s this changed person –

not the man I married. Bipolar Disorder seems

to have taken over his whole life.

Even when he’s not in an episode, he’s obsessing over when

his next one will be. I’ve tried to be a good

supporter and a good wife, I really have. But his

moods change so much, and I never know what

to expect. The unpredictability of the mood swings

and episodes is really getting to me. I’ve been

waiting a long time for my husband to get better,

but he just doesn’t seem like he’ll ever be what you

call high functioning, or even stable. Help! I just

need a break from him and his bipolar disorder.

Is that wrong? Dianne”

———————————————————————

Ok, let’s get the disclaimer out of the way first:

You know I’m not a doctor or any other professional, so I can’t give advice on those terms – I can only offer suggestions and opinions based on my experience and the experiences that other supporters have shared with me.

First of all, bipolar disorder does change a person. It can influence both their thoughts and their behavior. And, unfortunately, it’s a fact that with the disorder do come mood swings and episodes.

We don’t know by her email what her husband is like during episodes, but we can imagine.

In my courses/systems, I go over every symptom of a bipolar episode (both manic and depressive), so I won’t go into them here.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

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But many supporters do get frustrated and even angry when their loved one doesn’t seem to be

getting better.

At times, from the people I’ve talked to, pretty much every supporter gets to a “boiling-over” point like this woman in the email.

Well, sometimes you just need a break.

It’s hard to deal with bipolar disorder 24/7 and expect yourself to be the perfect super supporter

all the time.

The good news is that you don’t have to be.

You CAN take a break.

In fact, many supporters regularly take breaks from their loved one and their bipolar disorder.

And they feel no guilt, because they do it as a part of self-care. Necessary self-care.

But let’s go back to this woman’s email for a bit.

She says, first of all, that she loves her husband but can’t stand the way he acts sometimes.

That’s normal for a supporter of a loved one with bipolar disorder.

Loving the person and hating their behavior are two different things.

That’s why I preach about separating your loved one from their disorder.

You can still love them, but hate the disorder (which causes the unacceptable behavior).

When she says, “…it’s like he’s this changed person – not the man I married,” she is expressing

something that many supporters also express when their loved one is diagnosed later in life.

If you let it, bipolar disorder CAN take over your whole life (like she says in the email). However, you can also choose not to let it.

You need to do things outside of the disorder. I would tell this woman to do some of the things

that they did together before the bipolar disorder “took over his life,” and try to regain the relationship the way it was (as much as possible).

Bipolar disorder is not a death sentence! It’s just a mental illness. It can be managed.

And stability IS possible, if your loved one does the work to reach it. You can’t do it for them, either – they have to do it for themselves.

When she says, “Even when he’s not in an episode, he’s obsessing over when his next one will be,” well, many people go through that as well, although it is only a lesson in futility.

The “normal” times in between episodes should be enjoyed while you can. Yes, there will most

likely be a next episode at some point, but waiting around for it to happen is a waste of precious time.

Then she says that she doesn’t think her husband will ever become high functioning, or

even stable.

Well, he won’t, unless he does what he needs to in order to gain stability, and there is nothing in her letter that states that he is doing that.

And she ends the email with, “Help, I just need a break from him and his bipolar disorder. Is that

wrong?”

In my opinion, NO, it is not wrong.

Sometimes you do just need a break.

Have you felt like this woman?

What did you do? Did you take a break?

Do you think she is wrong for wanting to take a break?

Bipolar Disorder? Getting back on the worse

David Oliver July 25, 2009 Daily Bipolar Disorder Message 14 Comments

Hi,

How’s it going?

I am going hiking today so I had to get this off early in the morning.

Okay, so, have you ever heard the expression “getting back on the horse”?

People use it when talking about having failed at something and then trying it again.

Sometimes, if you’ve messed up, it’s hard to get back to where you were.

But sometimes it’s CRUCIAL that you “get back on the horse” when it comes to things that you

mess up with your bipolar disorder.

Take, for example, your medication.

It’s easy to forget to take it.

If you do, that’s ok. You just take the next dose when it’s time.

But too many people will just stop taking it altogether, and that is a HUGE mistake!

Because that is almost a SURE way to go into a bipolar episode!

And also because when you’re ready to go back on your medication, it’s like starting at square one again.

Bipolar medication takes time to build up in your bloodstream, so if you’ve been off it for awhile, you have to start at a low dose again and build back up to the level where you were before you stopped taking it.

Some people mess up seeing their doctor, psychiatrist, and/or therapist.

They miss one appointment, then it gets easier to miss another, then another…

Then they stop going altogether.

And that is NOT the right thing to do.

If you miss an appointment, you have to “get back on the horse” and go to the next one.

There are so many parts that can be messed up in a treatment plan, but I’m not going to go into all the parts of a treatment plan here, because I go into them extensively in my courses/systems:

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But I do want to talk to you about what happens when you do start to mess up parts of your treatment plan.

Let’s say you’ve started isolating again.

Isolation is one of the symptoms of bipolar disorder, and one of the top triggers to a bipolar episode.

But if you let this slip, and you start to isolate again, then you are in a dangerous place, and could be jeopardizing your stability.

Now you have two choices:

You can either close down, shut out the world, get all depressed, climb into bed, pull the covers over your head, feel sorry for yourself, cry, and go into a bipolar depressive episode…

OR… you can “get back on the horse” again.

Another example is if you start to slip with your sleep patterns.

Lack of sleep (or too much sleep) is another trigger to a bipolar episode.

But you can fix it if you catch it soon enough.

In other words, you can accept that even though you let a PART of your treatment plan get messed up, your WHOLE treatment plan is still working, and you can still fix it.

First you identify what went wrong. Then you can fix it (“Get back on the horse.”)

It doesn’t have to be anything really dramatic, but even small parts of your treatment plan, if they get messed up, can cause you to go into an episode.

Even if it does cause you to go into an episode, though, you can still recover from that episode and…

That’s right – “get back on the horse” again.

Start back doing the things you were doing before you went into that episode.

What do you think of the idea of “getting back on the horse”?

Current Bipolar News

David Oliver July 24, 2009 Daily Bipolar Disorder Message 3 Comments

Hi,

How are you?

Here’s the bipolar news. Enjoy.

To read this week’s news visit: http://www.leverageteamllc.com/bipolarnews440/

How Did Your Doctor Arrive at Your Diagnosis of

Bipolar Disorder?

DO> Interesting article, take a look.

A Documentary Charts Family’s Struggle With

Bipolar Depression

DO> If you can get it, you should.

You Aren’t Bipolar, You’re Just a Jerk!

DO> Hmm. What do you think of this?

Depression Treatment & Types of Antidepressants

DO> Great factual article.

Bipolar Disorder Linked To Genes Of Biological Clock

DO> Another interesting research based article.

For these stories and more, please visit: http://www.leverageteamllc.com/bipolarnews440/

==>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:

Your Friend,

Dave

Living Successfully With Bipolar Disorder

David Oliver July 23, 2009 Daily Bipolar Disorder Message 10 Comments

Hi,

How are you doing?

Today I have a challenge for you!

I’m just curious.

Answer this question:

What does “living successfully with bipolar disorder” mean?

Ok, I’ll even give you a hint, but then you’ll have to scroll down for my answer!

It’s a combination of two things, for starters. Can you guess? (scroll down for another hint)

They begin with M and T.

(scroll down)

Ok, the first one is medication.

(scroll down for the second one)

The second one is treatment.

Those are only the top two things to living successfully with bipolar disorder, though.

There are more elements to stability than that, and I talk about them in my courses:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

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