How’s it going for you?
Today I need to talk to you about something that is really bothering me.
You know I get tons and tons of emails, right? Well a lot of them are positive ones, and they make me feel really good, like ones that tell me how much these emails help them, and others on how much they have learned from my courses and things like that, like in all the testimonials
Those are the emails I really like, and the ones I’m used to, pretty much. But then there are the emails I get that really get me down. And I’m not a person who likes to get down, or who gets down easily.
But I got this email, and this woman went on and on and on about her problems. Now, don’t get me wrong – it’s not that I don’t care about people’s problems, because I wouldn’t be doing
what I’m doing if I didn’t care. You know that, right?
But it’s just that I deal in solutions. That’s what I write about and teach in all my courses, how to find solutions, and how to be solution-oriented:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Not dwelling on the problems is part of it. Being a positive person is another part of it. But definitely NOT being a negative person is NOT part of it! You can’t find ANY solutions that way! And no one likes to listen to a complainer.
I don’t dwell in the negative – I dwell on the positive, and I surround myself with positive people, because they bring me up, and keep me positive, too. I get really disappointed when people around me are negative.
Like this email I got the other day where this woman just went on and on complaining, but didn’t offer any kind of solution to the problems she was having.
To tell you the truth, after reading that email, I felt like I should have charged her a consultant’s fee, like a psychiatrist would do, just for reading (“listening to”) all her complaints!
Now again, I don’t want hate mail for this, or people saying I don’t care, when you know how much I do care.
The point is, after all this positive email I had read, this one negative email had the power to bring me down. Why? Well, I thought about it.
And then I talked to Michele (who works for me) about it.
And she told me about this equation she used when she was bringing up her kids:
THE 10/2 EQUATION
Regarding negative people…
If you are a 10 and they are a 2, and you hang around with them, you will not bring them up to an 8, they will bring you down to a 4.
She used this in teaching her children how to choose their friends wisely. But really, can’t you see how it can be used in dealing with bipolar disorder as well?
Here, follow me with this, as I apply it to the email I got. I can either surround myself with positive people or negative people.
Regarding the email I got, I am the 10 and she is the 2. I could try to answer her with positive answers, and try to bring her up to an 8, but considering how negative her email was, most
likely that won’t work, and she will just succeed in bringing me down to a 4 instead.
See what she’s done already? I’m already bummed out about it, feeling negative, letting it upset my day to the point that I’m writing about it in this email!
I can choose to stay a 10 on the positivity scale in the 10/2 Equation. I can let that email go. I can surround myself with positive people. I can stay positive and NOT let negative people bring me down.
These are choices I can make.
People like the lady in the email are going to be negative no matter what. They will try to get other people to listen to them complain, because they are negative and not solution-oriented.
They just want someone to buy into their negativity and listen to them.
But we don’t have to do that. We are TENS! We have a choice! We don’t have to be brought down to 4’s if we don’t want to! We can surround ourselves with positive people!
Have you had problems like I had with this woman?
Have you found yourself surrounded with negative people?
Can you relate to the 10/2 equation?