Bipolar? Be Patient and It Will Happen


How’s it going for you today?

I actually have Jury Duty today so I have to get going.

I seriously hope it doesn’t drag on and on because I have so many other things to do–like volunteer tonight.

Anyway, you know about my goddaughter, right?

I probably talk about her a lot (but that’s because she’s my goddaughter!).

Well, she is so curious, which is probably common for her age.

She tries to get into everything.

But she is also so impatient, too!

She knows what she wants, and she wants it NOW!

Well, that made me think about how there are two kinds of people in this world:

Those who are impatient (like my goddaughter)…

And those who are patient.

Impatient people who like to read are those who will jump to the end of the book to see how it turns out, then go back and finish the rest of the book.

Right, do you know someone like that? I hate that! I couldn’t do it.

Or someone who fast forwards through a DVD just to see how the movie ends, then goes back and watches it. Come on now, that’s beyond impatient to the absurd! (I hope that’s not you)

Well, when it comes to bipolar disorder, there are those same two kinds of people.

When it comes to the patient ones, it kind of reminds me of the line from that movie “Field of Dreams,” where he says, “Build it and they will come.”

Stability is like that.

Be patient, and it will come.

But let’s talk about the impatient ones first.

The impatient ones are like my goddaughter.

They know what they want (stability, of course).

And they want it NOW!

There are two basic problems with this:

1. Stability is a process – it doesn’t

happen overnight.

2. You have to work to gain stability –

it doesn’t happen by itself.

People who don’t recognize that stability is a process are not willing to go through the necessary steps and needed changes to get there, and that is sad, because they will have more episodes, and it will take much, much longer for them to recover (if they ever do).

Impatient people with bipolar disorder who are not willing to do the necessary work to gain it will never achieve stability because they are probably lazy and unproductive – and stability is not something that someone else can do for you; you have to do it for yourself.

Impatient people with the disorder will also have problems with relationships and at home on top of problems with their disorder, because their impatience will carry over into all other areas of their life.

They will often find themselves alone, whereas a person trying to gain stability who realizes the value of a good strong support system will be better off than they are.

Impatience pushes people away, even alienates them, and you need people to gain stability.

In my courses/systems, I discuss how important it is to be patient with bipolar disorder and to understand that stability does not happen overnight.







Impatient people have a much, much harder time reaching stability than patient people do.

Patient people know how to wait for things (like the “build it and they will come” thing).

A patient supporter is the best supporter because they know how to “wait out” their loved one’s episodes.

And that is a very, very difficult thing to do, as you know.

When both the supporter and the loved one with bipolar disorder are patient, they are an unbeatable team!

When two people together are fighting this serious disorder, there is a much greater chance for stability than if one person were trying to fight it alone.

Your role as a supporter is so important, especially in encouraging your loved one.

And sometimes your patience may be tried, but if you can conquer that, it will make such a difference!

If you have bipolar disorder, and you can be patient with your progress, little steps will lead to greater steps, and eventually you will become stable.

A lot of it has to do with your attitude.

A positive attitude will go far in helping you to be patient.

Whereas a negative attitude just feeds into impatience.

I would much rather be a patient person than an impatient one.

What about you?

  1. Thank you so much again for the daily e mails. They have really been giving me the peace of mind I’ve been needing to know that I can get through this and be stable. I have definitely been one of those impatient people. I’m 21 and was just diagnosed with bipolar disorder a few months ago. It has been a real struggle, even more so I feel, because I am aware and I think that’s because I have been so impatient. I have been trying to convince myself that I can just will this away and then I find myself frustrated because it doesn’t just go away. I have ruined some of the best relationships in my life because I have been so impatient with this and that has carried over in to those relationships and pushed those people away from me. They feel like failures because they can’t help me. I’m really determined to find the right treatment and tools to manage this monster in my life so I don’t end up alone forever.

  2. I’ve been VERY patient with my bipolar – until the lsst month, when I began to experience SEVERE vertigo. I went to an eye doctor; then an ENT, who referred me for a “vestibular rehab” at the University PT; then a neurologist, who sent me for a brain MRI. Well, the MRI didn’t show anything, so we’re back to Square One.

    I saw my Nurse Practitioner today, and just happened to mention that I was leaning to the RIGHT when I sat down,even at the computer. This triggered a memory in her, of a former patient who was ALSO dizzy and leaned one direction. She then decreased my mood stabilizer and tranquilizer, and we’ll see if ANYTHING changes before I see her on Monday – BUT – at least we’ve got a CHANCE here. Because the two drugs are anti-seizure drugs, and affect my neurotransmitters, I’m “temporarily brain damaged.” It’s just a matter of getting everything “back to normal,” if at all possible.

    I thank all my friends for their good wishes and prayers. MAYBE this whole thing will work out…

    BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good. I pray for my country.

  3. “When both the supporter and the loved one with bipolar disorder are patient, they are an unbeatable team!
    When two people together are fighting this serious disorder, there is a much greater chance for stability than if one person were trying to fight it alone.” That is so spot on. Thanks, Dave. However, my boyfriend doesn’t realise it at the moment. He is in the sort of mood where he wants to do everything alone and won’t let me help at all. I think I am a very patient supporter. Many people have said so, including his psych. He is fairly patient (except during an episode) but can be negative when in a certain mood. It’s said that all good things come to those who wait. I can wait a long time for something that’s worth waiting for. We have been supporting each other up to now. I don’t have bipolar, but have had a number of difficult issues to deal with in the recent past and he was there for me and helped me through them. He has turned his back on me at the moment and I am feeling sad and broken-hearted, but I am very positive that he will turn around again and realise that we both do better as a team than on our own.
    Reading a book back to front or watching a film like that is completely crazy. I know some impatient people, but don’t know anyone who does that.

  4. But the person with bipolar has to want stability. . that’s key. The chaos for some people with bipolar seems to be addictive and they don’t want stability even if we want it for them from the depths of our heart.

    Question: when jurors are chosen, are their any questions about whether a potential juror has mental illness of any kind? just wondered.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *