Hi,

How are you?

I just got back and I am dead tired.
Remember I was at that conference. Anyway,
it went really well. I will write you some
things that I learned that will be useful
to you after I review my notes.

In the meantime, I have any important
lesson to tell you about bipolar disorder.

Last night I was checking my voicemail
and I had dozens of messages. Just hearing
you have 31 new messages is enough to make
you want to run away :).

So I took at my message taking note book
so I could record who called and what time
and what the message was.

The first one was Jim from Chrysler Dodge
trying to get me to change me oil.

But message number two was a huge problem.

It was a 8 minute and 23 second message
from someone who’s loved one has
bipolar disorder. I could barely
hear the person but it was an incredibly
long and painful monologue about how
this person’s spouse has created all
these problems and is destroying her
life. She mentioned a number of
things that he did wrong and were
problematic.

I must say it was painful. Part of me
just wanted to delete the message because
after 7 minutes I didn’t even know what
the question was or how long it would
go on.

Finally the message ended and the person
said, “Help me” and left her phone number.

I was amazed.

Then I went to message number 3. You’re
not going to believe this. It was a totally
different person supporting a loved one with
bipolar disorder. This message was 6 minutes.

BIPOLAR LESSON COMING SOON… HANG IN THERE

Then I went to message 4 and it was someone
who was supporting a child with bipolar disorder.
This message was the longest I think ever 12 minutes
long. It was seriously a long message. If you
looked up long message in the dictionary that
message should be transcribed.

It ended with “help me” and a phone number.

I was so tired I simply gave up with dealing
with voice messages for the night.

Then I got to thinking about exactly what
I did when I was first supporting my mom
with bipolar disorder. If you remember I
had no clue at all what to do.

So I made a plan. I called already and
I asked specific questions and listened
to what people had to say. Most people
had no idea what to do because I was
asking the wrong people. BUT when I found
the right person for a specific problem
that I was dealing with, I asked
specific questions and I got specific
answers. AND I took notes as well. And
then I let the person go quickly.

I always followed with, would you mind
if I had another quick concise question,
I give you a call? The person in every
case said yes.

Now after I thought about all of this,
my past experience and the 3 messages I
got dealing with bipolar disorder. NOTE
I don’t even know if I have 25 more like
this. It’s going to be a long day probably.

Thank God I have a new woman that I hired
taking over these messages. There are just
too many and it’s killing my ability to run
all my businesses.

Anyway, back to what I was saying. So,
there is a huge problem that I see
people who have bipolar disorder AND people
who are supporting people with bipolar disorder
make.

That’s the long rambling non specific I need
help story.

Are you thinking, “Dave, what the heck is that?”
If you are new to the list, you might be thinking,
“This guy’s emails are really strange and he writes
weird, maybe he’s crazy…but I will keep reading
because I think he might have a good point.”

I do have a good point. Here it is. If you look
at everyone who can help you with bipolar disorder,
doctors, therapists, insurance people, other
supporters, employment specialists, myself,
so on and so forth, we all have one thing in
common–we only have so many hours each day.

The doctor has 24 hours in a day. The insurance
person has the same. I have the same. Everyone
has the same.

In addition, many people want to help people.
They really do. BUT the problem is, there are
generally lots of other people that need
help as well and all asking. What do you do?

Well here is what you do, you drop the long
sad rambling story (sorry to be blunt), because
anyone in this field has heard it probably between
200 and 5000 times. I personally can honestly
say that I have heard the same stories at least 2000
times.

You might think that I am crazy or making this
number up. Keep in mind that I volunteer at
3 bipolar disorder support groups, I have a
huge list, I take my own calls, read my own
mail, take orders for my courses/systems over
the phone and have been doing this for 2 years.

At first I use to feel bad when I would try
to speed people along to get to the question
or specific problem and avoid the story.

But then after I have burned up so much of my
time it’s a requirement. I will not listen to
really long sad stories. I get to the bottom
line. If you have been on the phone with me
for one of my f.ree consultation certificates
for NON medical and NON legal questions (because
I am not a doctor, therapist, lawyer, insurance
person, etc.) you know that I constantly ask, “
What’s your biggest problem?” And I strive
to get you back on track.

Some people might think this is mean but I have
to do it, other wise I will go insane and broke.
How? Well I will start to hear the same stories
over and over again because for the most part
bipolar disorder runs a certain course. Generally
speaking the stories are almost the same.

They go like this, “my loved one is such a
great person and so smart. Really smart. But
then when he/she is off it’s a nightmare. They
are like a different person. They did and I couldn’t believe it
they never would have ever done things like
this unless they were off.

They spent and we are really
mad. It’s destroyed us. I can’t take it any
more”

I have personally heard this type of story at least
2000 times.

WARNING

Here’s the problem. You have to get specific. I know
that a lot of this is painful and you need someone
to vent to and there are people for that. But many
people that can help you have limited time
and we are dealing with many other people. ESPECIALLY
the doctors they have super limited time so you
have to get really specific with them to maximize what
they can do for you.

If you notice in my courses and systems I talk
about a way to get extra time for doctors/therapists.
It involves using a note book, email, phone calls,
etc.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com/

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net/

To make a long story short, you make your
questions before the appointment, make them
super clear and then give them to the doctor
before the appointment. It’s more complicated
than that but I don’t have time to write it
all out. NO I am not trying to force you to
buy my courses/systems I am just making a point.

Anyway, the other day I sent a email out
about making a list of the problems that you have
and being specific.

There are so many people on my list that
do NOT have a specific list for problems
they have. Each time they ask anyone
for help, they start with a really, really
long story and that makes people not want
to help because they have limited time
and don’t want to get trapped having to
hear a 1 hour story.

Anyway, people wrote me back about my daily
email about making a specific list of problems
as “too simple” and so wanted to know
when I was going to send “the good stuff.”

That is the good stuff. RIGHT NOW I want
you to make a list of your problems and what
you specifically need help with. I don’t
want you to go to doctors, therapists,
finance people, hospitals, etc being
a rambler.

Let others be the rambler. I want you
to stand out and be the person
that has specific questions that
you need help with.

The more specific you get, the better
the response you will get.

Then you won’t feel so frustrated all
the time.

Well I have to go now. I hope all this
made sense. A lot of this is hard
to write about but easy to talk about
but since I don’t own my own radio
show, I can’t talk about it.

It’s all in my courses however if you
are interested. Well write me some feedback
if you understand what I was trying to say
today.

Wish me luck on my probably now 40 voice
mail messages.

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com/

Hi,

I am still at my seminar but wanted to
email you part two of the series about
how to get help when you have trouble
with bipolar disorder–whether you
are a supporter or a person with
the illness.

If you didn’t read this part, please
check out:

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/2007/05/bipolar-disorder-lesson-have-you-ever.html

Okay, the next part of making a list of
your problems is to rank them in order
of importance and then here comes
the really important part.

You go somewhere where you can
think. I suggest, park, friend’s
house, library, etc.

Once you are there, you take the most
pressing problem
and then put it on a blank sheet of
paper.

Then you brainstorm EVERY possible
solution you have to the problem
really, really fast. There is no thinking
you just write. Some things you might
write might be crazy so to speak.

Just write it all out really fast.

Then after about 15 minutes or
so review your ideas. Then group
them. You will start to see some
possible viable solutions to
your problems.

Then if you find that you don’t have
any solutions, review your most pressing
problems each morning. And then you will
find people, places or things that you
seem to come in contact with that
can help you. Once you find something
that can help, take action and move
forward to solve the problem.

That’s it. This is exactly how I did
it for my mom and other areas in
my life.

Well I have to take off because
I am at that seminar, catch you tomorrow.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com/

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net/

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com/

Hi,

I have to be really quick. I have to be
at my seminar at 8:30am and I am going
to be late. I am in New York City and
have to make sure I get to the place
on time.

Really quick, I get a lot of emails from people that say
they need help and don’t know what to do.

I sometimes wonder if people really know
what problems they truly have and what
are the most pressing.

Many times when I get on the phone with
people who fill out my f.ree consultation
certificates for non medical and non
legal questions because I am NOT a doctor,
therapist, lawyer, insurance agent, dentist
so on and so forth :), I ask “what’s
your biggest problem?”

Normally I get a undefined problem,
or someone says “everything.” Rarely
do I get a complete carefully
thought out list. This is a big
problem.

I am going to encourage you today
if you have bipolar disorder or if
you are support a loved one to do
the following.

Make a complete list of all
your problems and be as specific
as possible. Put it on a blank
sheet of paper one after another.

One of these reasons I think people
like my courses/and systems is because
it solves a lot of problems in a
systematic way.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com/

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net/

They’re not a long
boring sad story that’s doesn’t
have any direct solutions to
problems. Generally when
you are looking at my books
on bipolar disorder, they fall
way short on practical solutions
to the most common problems.

This is what I have seen. You
may feel different.

Anyway, I have to take off now.
Tomorrow I will tell you
about step two and how to get
faster answers to your problems
using a simple technique I learned
from a man from Italy.

Until have a great day and I have
to head off to my seminar.

I have to go or I’ll be late.

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com/

Hi,

First HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY!

Secondly, I noticed that many people write on my blog and
insist that a) some of the things that I say
can’t be followed because I am a son
and the people writing are spouses of someone
with bipolar disorder or b) that whatever
I say will not work for them.

I would like to address b) first. Where
did I ever say that 100% of the things
that I say will work for 100% of the people?
It’s very strange to me how some people
read things. It’s almost like some people
really try extremely hard to find a
reason that they will be stuck in
the current state they are in and
that there are NO possible solutions.

It’s interesting to note I have
annoyed many people over the
years for refusing to
go along with things that are deemed
impossible.

When I even first started this site
I was told it would be impossible it
would work. When I first started helping
my mom I was told:

We tried everything
There is no hope for her
Nothing can be done
She will never be out of de.bt
We should put her away
There is NO way you can get her into the hospital

When I decided to hire those with a mental
illness, I was told it was impossible
to “keep control of them.” I was told the
organization would fail.

When it comes to me…

I ALWAYS FOCUS ON THE SOLUTION NOT WHAT DOES NOT
WORK

There are people on my list focused on what
doesn’t work and that’s a huge waste of time.

Obviously bipolar disorder is complicated
and changes so there is no one size fits all
answer.

If you are reading my information and
you find yourself so quick to find
things that will not work, how about
focusing on the things that WILL work
for you. If I have 90,000 people on my
list, obviously everything can’t work
for everyone.

Here’s another point. I ask people
this all the time. If you are
following a certain course or strategy
with your loved one who has bipolar
disorder and it’s been failing and
failing for years on end, don’t you
think it’s a good time to consider
something new.

Some say the definition of insanity is
doing the same thing over and over and
hoping for a different result. That’s
what many supporter find themselves in–
a position of insanity.

Okay now to address point a), that
I am my mother’s son and some people
on my list are the spouse of someone
with bipolar disorder and everything
I am saying can’t work because of this fact.

Here’s the thing, if you are a supporter
of someone with bipolar disorder, you have
to decide what’s going to work for you.
You get f.ree emails with tips and suggestions
and you can delete them or not follow them
at all or pick and choose what might be
helpful for you.

When it comes to the most recent email that I
sent out about bipolar stability through
strength, I received blog posts and emails
suggesting it’s impossible to be “strong”
when you are married to someone with
bipolar disorder.

I think this is totally incorrect. I know
of many people who are, some who work
for me that have strong spouses. Strength
doesn’t mean you are abusive or mean
to your spouse with bipolar disorder it means
that you set up a certain set of rules or
boundaries that can’t be crossed.

For example with my dad, it’s about
money, medication, going to the doctor
and therapy. These are some. My dad
will not allow my mom to spend money
like the world is coming to the end.
He will not stay around if my mom decides
to stop taking her medication.

When I am talking about strength, it’s
these type of things.

Someone wrote on my blog:

“A spouse has to achieve a balancing act with their
position of strength that a son/daughter does
not. A child will always legally be able to
come back tomorrow. Spouses may very well find
themselves in divorce court, dividing all the
assets they worked so hard to protect. Your
dad who always “gave in” did not have the same
advantage as you. HE could always be thrown out
of the family at her whim, but not you. So…
what is a spouse to do?”

========
I could write an entire book about this post.
I really believe it’s way off track. First
if you asked my dad, he is totally different
today and has said over and over he would
have saved probably a million dollars
if he would have been strong and not
given in all the time. My mom says the
same things.

Maybe I will do a f.ree podcast on
this but maybe not. It takes a lot of
time to create and set those up. Hmm.
We’ll see.

The bottom line is, if you have been
weak and let bipolar disorder run
all over you for years, you should
consider another strategy.

I know a person who has a wife with
bipolar disorder. He says to me he
needs help. I gave him all my material
and he read none of it. He currently
is staying with his wife because of
the kids. BUT, here’s a snap shot of his
life:

He is on medication because of his wife
He business is suffering
He has no savings because his wife has
spent it all.
She frequently lies about him to friends,
family members, his kids and the police
He has had the police called on him
numerous times
He has been attacked multiple times

The list goes on and on. He asked me
what I would do. I am not going to
tell you what I told him because it’s
complicated. BUT, if you are reading
this and this is your life, I would
ask, how many more years can you take
such treatment. This person’s wife
is destroying him.

NOW I know people will say, “Dave you
don’t understand…when you have kids…”

I DO understand and I will say there
is a strategy for this guy. It wouldn’t
be easy but I am sure there is no chance
that he will put the effort in because
it requires a lot of effort. He has
accepted the fact that he is stuck
and can’t better his life.

He is weak with his wife’s bipolar disorder
and as a result her bipolar disorder
is totally out of control.

Well I have to take off and head
over to the gym and then leave for NYC
for a meeting on Tuesday.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com/

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net/

Well I have to run.

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com/

Hi,

How’s it going? You know what’s funny, someone wrote
me yesterday that they wondered how I had so
much time to write emails about bipolar disorder
every day.

Well the answer is, I make time. NO I don’t
have bipolar disorder and I am not in a
long running manic episode writing emails
about the subject–just in case you
were wondering.

It’s been hard these last few days to write
my daily emails on bipolar disorder because
I don’t feel well but I still get up and
do it.

Today I wanted to talk quickly about what
I call “bipolar stability through strength.”

This concept comes from a Cold War Strategy
called “Peace through strength.”

“Peace through Strength” is the doctrine that
military strength is a primary or necessary
component of peace. This philosophy is a major
reason cited for large militaries,
and also served as the primary motivation
behind the Cold War doctrine of building
up a huge military.

This isn’t an email about the Cold War or
military strategies BUT, this concept
is important for bipolar disorder.

Over the years, I noticed with my mom,
the weaker and the more we bent during
her episodes the worse they were and
became. The stronger we were or
recently since I am my mom’s primary
supporter, the stronger I was and
the less I bent, the more stable she
was.

For example, for most of my life, if
my mom was in an episode and demanded
this or that, let’s say a large expensive
purchase that was not necessary, instead
of my dad saying no, he would let her
make it and figure out a way to pay for
it later on.

This ultimately led to my mom demanding
another purchase and then years pasted
with many bad purchases which created
a huge financial loss.

It wasn’t just finances either. Things
like allowing my mom to dictate NO vacations
or not eating together during dinner
were the norm.

Each time, my dad never wanted to “upset”
or “argue” with my mom so he gave in,
which is a form of weakness.

As a result, there were no vacations,
we maybe eat dinner together outside of
Thanksgiving, 10 times in 15 to 20
years which is really strange.

When I started supporting my mom,
I realized that my dad’s strategy failed
and there would have to be a new one.

I was thinking about Ronald Regan one
day and about how he advocated “peace
through strength” when dealing with
with the Soviet Union.

That made sense to me and I adopted a
similar strategy.

I am not mean to my mom but there are
certain things I do not bend on no matter
what. No matter if my mom cries, screams,
yells, etc.

Things like spending money, not going
to the doctor, not going to therapy,
not taking medication, or not following
all the parts of her bipolar stability
equation. I never bend on these things.

There are thousands and I mean thousands
of people on my list that bend all the
time to whatever their loved one demands.

And generally these people have a nightmare
life. If you are a caretaker of someone
with bipolar disorder, you aren’t doing them
any good by not being strong when they
are in an episode.

My mom for example is HAPPY that I am strong
when she is in an episode. For example,
she realizes if someone was strong and
stopped her from spending money years ago,
she wouldn’t have had to pay off $30,000
of d.ebt.

OR if my dad had required vacations or
meals to be eaten at a table together she
would have memories of these things but
there aren’t any because they didn’t
exist.

I am not bashing my dad but he did make
a number of mistakes and you can learn from
him. He knows now what he did and encourages
me to let everyone know through my “thing”
as he likes to call it. He calls my
email list “that thing.”

Anyway, you’ll notice that in my courses/
systems, supporters are strong when they
need to be and those with bipolar disorder
who are interviewed are happy they have
strong supporters.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

If you find yourself bending, caving
in, always having to do what you
know is not right, then you have a serious
problem. You need to strongly consider
changing strategies. Other wise
your loved one’s bipolar disorder
will probably destroy you.

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com

Hi,

I have a new article that I wanted to share with you. I am going to be posting this on various places no the internet to help reduce the stigma of mental illness. Since it’s a holiday in
the US, many people are going to be out and about with their friends and family. This
is a great article to consider.

I wanted you to see it first.

Please pass this article to other people who could benefit.

Being labeled with mental illness has long been a stigma, and stigma often produces shame. Stigma, by definition, means disapproval and disgrace, and by practice stigma sets a person apart from a group, fostering an ‘us versus them’ mentality. Ultimately stigma means prejudice and discrimination in society.

Even when you have a loved one with bipolar, you have probably been conditioned by thousands of years of negative beliefs about mental illness that lead you to have a sense of shame. This shame is counter-productive to your loved one’s health and to your own ability to cope with and support them in their illness.

Shame leads to secrecy. Keeping quiet about your loved one’s disease and hiding it at any cost will isolate you from networks of support.[1] Imagine the difference if you were able to be open about your loved one’s bipolar disorder, without shame and secrecy. You may find that your neighbor, your co-worker, your boss, and so many other people in your world also are supporting a loved one with bipolar disorder, or suffer from it themselves.

By sharing openly instead of hiding shamefully, you will have more potential of developing a helping network of support. Your neighbor may know of a good doctor or therapist in the area she can refer you to. Your boss may know of a support group. Your co-worker may be able to give you pointers on how to cope or how to help your loved one get and stay healthy.

If you go through my courses/systems, you will
see this is exactly what most people who I interview
say over and over and over:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

While you may have fallen into the age-old trap of feeling shame over your loved one’s mental illness, he or she most likely feels this shame much more intensely. Your negative perspective is enforcing their own shame and secrecy, leading to their further isolation. Your shame is neither healthy for yourself, or your loved one with bipolar.

The past few decades have brought to general awareness that bipolar disorder is a brain disease, like Alzheimer’s, Multiple Sclerosis, or Parkinson’s disease. Logically speaking, there is no reason to feel shame or embarrassment about a physical disorder. If your loved one had MS, you would be less likely to be living in shame and secrecy.[2]

As a supporter of someone with bipolar disorder, it’s up to you to begin to break the cycle of stigma, prejudice and discrimination. As P. Byrne said, “Part of coping with stigma is fighting stigma.” And one of the first things you can do is fight it within yourself. Accept that you may have feelings of shame, but at the same time realize that they are illogical and based on prejudice. It’s time to let those feelings go. You don’t want to be a ‘psychophobe’, do you?

P. Byrne points out in his article that while we have words for every other prejudice we can think of, there is no word to describe prejudice against the mentally ill. He suggests adapting the word ‘psychophobic’, and points out that words of this sort have gone far in bringing awareness of prejudice.[3]

When you find yourself feeling shame about your loved one’s bipolar disorder, remind yourself that you’re buying into a culture of psychophobia, and that you are not a psychophobe. Begin to counteract those feelings by thinking about all the positive things about your loved one’s disorder.

Your loved one with bipolar is, by definition, emotionally sensitive. Though this manifests as a weakness in their disease, it can also be seen as a strength. They are possibly quite creative, based on observations and studies linking bipolar illness with creativity. They have the strength to admit that they are different, to carry the burden of this label, and to go on living despite this difficulty. How many ‘normal’ people do you know who could never admit their weaknesses let alone submit to openly revealing them?

Your loved one has the potential to get better. With the right strategies and support, this disease can be managed and even turned around. Many other physical illnesses do not have this potential for healing and change.

Most importantly, you love them. While there may be times that their struggle with bipolar disorder gets the best of them and negatively impacts you, you know that this disease does not define who they are. The fact that they suffer with bipolar disorder is just a small fraction of their being, and you love them in their totality.

Shame is an ingrained, automatic response to the stigma of mental illness. It’s time to take control of this negative and counterproductive emotion, and to become an advocate and supporter of your loved one with bipolar disorder instead of a co-conspirator in prejudice. Any small steps you take within yourself to battle the shame of stigma in mental illness will begin to ripple outwards into the world around you. This can go a long way in helping your loved one, and others who suffer with bipolar disorder.

Well have a good day today.

Dave

REFERENCES:

[1] Byrne, P. (2000) Stigma of mental illness and ways of diminishing it. Advances in Psychiatric Treatment, Vol. 6 pp. 65-72
[2] Fuller Torrey, E., MD & Knable, Michael B, D.O. Surviving Manic Depression. Basic Books, 2002, p.1.
[3] Byrne, P. (2000) Stigma of mental illness and ways of diminishing it. Advances in Psychiatric Treatment, Vol. 6 pp. 65-72

Here is the current Bipolar Disorder news.

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews327

There’s some really interesting news stories this
week. Take a look at them. Also, write me some
feedback by visiting my blog below.

Here are some of the headlines:

Overnight walk aims to raise suicide awareness

Man who stomped cats gets 2 years

Conventional wisdom says psychiatric drugs save lives, but for some
San Franciscans the pills are a prescription for …

Organon’s Asenapine Effective In A Phase III Study For The
Treatment Of Bipolar I Disorder; Results Unveiled At 2007 …

Akzo Nobel’s Organon says Asenapine effective in Phase III study
for Bipolar I

For these stories and more, please visit:

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews327

My Resources For Bipolar:

Quickly And Easily Explain Bipolar To People
Go here for more information.
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/explainingbipolar

Need Money Because Of Bipolar Disorder?
Go here for more information
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarbusiness

Dating Someone With Bipolar?
Go here for more information
http://www.BipolarCentral.com/bipolardating

Want To Marry Someone Who Has Bipolar?
Go here for more information
http://www.BipolarCentral.com/bipolarmarriage/

Need Affordable Health Insurance When Dealing With
Bipolar Disorder?
Go here for more information
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/insuranceguide/

Problems With Drugs, Alcohol And Addiction?
Go here for more information
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolaraddiction/

Trying To PREVENT A Divorce From Someone With Bipolar
Disorder?
Go here for more information:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolardivorce

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

How are you?

I have a REALLY important lesson for you today
about bipolar disorder. It’s something I have
never really focused on.

There’s a quiz at the bottom related
to bipolar disorder make sure you take it.

I am not sure because it’s really important.
I started thinking about this because
of an incident I saw when I was coming
back from Pennsylvania.

Here’s the story and how it relates
to bipolar disorder.

Okay I had to go to check out my
new POTENTIAL furniture. Right now
my desk that I am typing on is
falling apart.

I found a person in PA that sells furniture.
I wanted to make sure that I got a great deal
AND that the furniture would last for several
life times (just kidding for at least 10 years
or so).

Anyway the top selling furniture person
who by the way use to work in a mental
health facility and told me many things
that you should read about concerning
mental health facilities. If you missed
that or want to reread it again, visit
my blog below and look for “Lesson
learned from stuttering furniture
sales person.”

Okay, so I drive all the way there.
I noticed on the way driving there,
there seemed to be some traffic going
the opposite way (the way I would
have to go back home).

That was strange to me because the traffic
never goes through that way. Anyway,
I made it to the store, ran in and found
the guy.

I looked at what I had and then I left.
I started driving back and guess what?

Traffic started slowing. Then it was slower
and then slower.

Then traffic was DEAD STOPPED. Nothing was
moving.

I thought to myself that in a minute
it would move.

BIPOLAR DISORDER LESSON IS COMING SOON

Hey, there’s a bipolar lesson coming don’t
worry.

So I sat there for like 10 minutes. I couldn’t
believe it. I didn’t move one inch.

25 minutes went by and I saw the same thing.

Then I saw people in front and behind me looking
out their car doors to see what the heck was
going on. I did the same you couldn’t see
anything. Then after like 31 minutes we moved
maybe 5 feet.

Then I almost was getting claustrophobia AND
I had to go to the bathroom really, really,
really bad. Since I drank too much water
before I left. I have to drink 1.2 gallons
a day for my training.

Then I started to get mad. I wanted to complain
but to who? I called my friend Tony and he
laughed at me.

AND THEN IT HAPPENED. About one hour
and 15 minutes had gone by and I moved
maybe 15 feet.

People started driving on the shoulder where
you aren’t suppose to drive to try to get ahead
but then the shoulder turned into bumper to
bumper traffic.

There were no exits you had to sit. It was a nightmare.

ONE MAN TAKES ACTION

One guy tried to go around somehow and he almost
hit another guy. The guy he almost hits gets
super mad and starts screaming at him. The
other guy says something and the guy almost
hit tells him I think to get out of the
car.

I was like, “Oh, no, there’s going to be a
fight.” So I sat and hoped that these ADULTS
would sit in their cars. Then I thought, I
hope that I don’t have to get involved
like if one guy beats up another and someone
has to break it up.

Well the guy that almost hit the guy wouldn’t
get out. The other guy that wanted him to
get out started screaming at him.

I heard little kids start to cry because you
could hear it all since there was no movement
and their was dead silence.

Part of me was super mad that this one guy
kept trying to provoke the other guy.

This lady next to me said to me across the
way, “That guy’s crazy. He is insane.”

I didn’t say anything at all. It was very odd.

Then after like 1 and half hours, the traffic
started to move.

STRANGE BIPOLAR DISORDER LESSON

There’s something called IED. Intermittent
Explosive Disorder also known as road rage.

Mayo Clinic says:

“Intermittent explosive disorder (IED) is
characterized by repeated episodes of aggressive,
violent behavior that are grossly out of proportion
to the situation. And, according to a June 2006 study
funded by the National Institute of Mental Health,
intermittent explosive disorder is more common
than once thought. Intermittent explosive disorder
occurs most often in young men and may affect as
many as 7.3 percent of adults in the United States.”

DID THIS GUY HAVE THIS OR BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Think for a second and then scroll down
after you formulate an opinion…

HAVE AN OPINION YET? SCROLL

Here’s my thoughts. First, I know
people may say, “YES!” he does
and some may say “maybe he
has bipolar disorder.”

BUT, this is the thing. We do NOT
know. If you are NOT a doctor
you should not be diagnosing people.

AND even more importantly, this entire
incident reminds me of a huge problem.

REPEATED PATTERNS VERSUS ONE TIME EVENTS

With IED, which this newsletter is NOT
about, and bipolar disorder, doctors
look for repeated patterns of behavior
to form a diagnosis not one time
events.

If the fighting guy in the car did
this once, that’s one thing. If he
starts fights on the highway all
the time that’s another.

When you are supporting someone
with bipolar disorder it’s important
to track patterns and report them to
the doctor and therapist so these people
can help make a proper diagnosis AND
treatment plan.

When I was seeing this guy, the entire
thing made me think of how important
it is. I know people on the road with me would think
the guy was crazy, had IED, bipolar disorder
schizophrenia, etc, but we would not know
his history.

One of the things lacking with doctors is
patients history. If patients come in and
the doctors asks for history, the doctor
normally gets what I call the “snow job”–
which is basically when a patient says
whatever they think they should say so
the truth about their condition is not
revealed.

It’s up to YOU the supporter to reveal
the patterns. Doctors then take this into
accountant along with a number of other things
doctors look at to make a correct diagnosis.

People write me all the time about how to figure
out if someone has bipolar disorder. I am NOT
a doctor or therapist but I know it’s a doctor
that has to make a diagnosis.

And you can help them by reporting signs and symptoms,
history and patterns you see.

So many supporters don’t do this.

DISTURBING THINGS AT SUPPORT GROUPS

I do a ton of volunteering and one of the most
disturbing things that I see is when people
try to treat and diagnose one another. I think
in my head, “these people have no clue and
are dangerous.”

Many supporters get a little knowledge and
then they run around and try to diagnosis
people AND sometimes talk about what medications
are good and bad.

This is a HUGE, and I mean HUGE and I mean HUGE
NO NO!

If someone who is not a doctor starts acting
like a doctor, run and don’t listen. Most of
these people really have no idea what they
are talking about.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

I have to run, have a great day.

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com

Hi.

Today is going to be an interesting
day for me. You remember how I had all
those problems with my printer who
made all the printing for my bipolar
disorder material? Well I am in the
process of moving to another printer.

NOTE-You can catch up on this story
by reading my blog at the end of this
email.

After I started to take all my business
away from the first printer, they realized
it seriously hurt their sales. Anyway,
to make a long story short, they (
like 5 people) want to talk about my leaving
and going to another printer. The meeting
is at 10:00am this morning.

Over the next few days, I am going to
tell you how I dealt with this printer
and why you will have to use the
SAME exact strategies when dealing
with the mental health system.

I used the same exact strategy with
the printer I used with my mom’s outpatient
program she was at. The one that wasn’t
wasn’t helping her.

You’re going to like it. But today
I want to tell you a quick story of
someone that I spoke to yesterday
in the store.

I was in the store, looking for some
stuff for my office. I was looking
for one of those “things” that you
can put a bunch of stacks of paper
in. I have no idea what it’s called
and I am sure that the people didn’t
like the fact I asked for a “thing.”

So anyway, I wound up mentioning
to someone that I had a number of websites
online related to disorders like bipolar
disorder and that I wanted to use this
thing to organize the papers and stack
them in groups vertically.

Someone overheard me and asked
if I am a psychiatrist. I told him
that I wasn’t a doctor, therapist,
lawyer, accountant, insurance agent,
dentist, etc.

He looked at me strange and I explained
why I tell people all the stuff that
I am not so they don’t get the
wrong idea that I am a doctor, lawyer,
therapist, ect. He said “oh I see.”

So then I gave him
the short version of why I know about
bipolar disorder. I told him about
my mom, the websites, my list, etc.
etc.

He was excited. He then pulled me ahead
and said that someone in his family
who he would not tell me who it was,
was in trouble.

Hmm. I listened. I told him I really
had to go but I would give him
5 minutes but he could send me a fax
later on and I would answer any non
medical and non legal questions.

He said fair enough. So he basically
told me how someone was having all this
trouble for years and how doctors
“suck” and therapists “steal money.”

Hmmm. I listened. He then said that
no one can “fix” his loved one
and it’s terrible. He said, “I know
you aren’t a doctor but what would
you do.”

I then asked him a series of questions
and since I have to go really soon
I will have to give you the short version
of the questions.

To make a long story short, he
did what I call “the dump off.”

THE DUMP OFF is BAD!

I told him all about the dump off
and explained what he should be doing.
He thought about it and said, “you
are so right, that makes total sense.”

You probably thinking, “Hmm
Dave, what the heck is the dump off.”

If you are new to my list you may
be thinking, “This guy sure is
odd, first he tells me about his
printer then he tells me a story
and then he uses a term which I have
never heard about or seen…Maybe
he’s crazy??”

I am not crazy. Actually crazy isn’t a
disorder either as a side note.

But let’s get back to the lesson.

The “dump off” is when a caregiver
takes a loved one with bipolar disorder
and simply “dumps” them off at a hospital,
group, doctor, or part of the mental
health system with NO follow up
and assumes the system will take
care of everything from a to z
and the caregiver or supporter has
to do nothing else.

I have NEVER ever seen or heard this
working well.

When you take someone to a doctor,
therapist, hospital, you can’t dump
them off.

You have to follow up and follow through.

You have to stay on top of things. You know
now that I am writing this, I realize why
someone would think that the “professionals”
should do a good job and “handle” everything
from a to z. That’s the way it should be.

But the reality is, it’s NOT that way.

Instead of just dumping a loved one off
you should take them to where they
are suppose to go and then

-Ask questions

-Act like you are in the know and have ways to figure
out and verify any information given

-Check on things

-Report signs and symptoms you are seeing

-Make sure the person is in the 5% group not the
95% group.

-Make your loved one is NOT getting AL treatment. This
is a huge problem

-Demand proper treatment for your loved one

This is just a few things you have to be doing
as a caregiver of someone who has bipolar disorder.

I don’t have any kids. But I think with kids
you have to check on them and make sure they
are not doing bad things.

I do that myself with the people in the mental
health system. I am always checking. They
know it.

It’s NOT LIKE FIXING YOUR CAR

My blinker is blinking really, really, really
fast. And my back light is out. So I took my
car to the shop. Luckily for me, I got there
with only 7 miles left on my warranty. Great
for me. But anyway, I dropped my car off
and in one day it will be fixed. I don’t have
to do a lot of work to work with the car fixing
people.

Some people think that bipolar disorder is like
having a car fixed. Dump off your loved one
and then they are “fixed” in a certain period
of time without any assistant on the part of the
caregiver.

I have found this not to be true.

In all my courses/systems, people repeat this
theme over and over again talk about exactly
what to do.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

I have to get ready for my meeting. I will
write you more tomorrow. Have a great day.

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com

Hi,

I must say I am dead tired today. I was at a meeting
really late last night. Anyway, today I want to
tell you something really, really important
about bipolar disorder.

I called someone yesterday who had ordered
one of my courses. He had filled out
my f.ree consultation form for NON
medical and NON legal questions (because
I am not a doctor, lawyer, therapist,
insurance agent, etc).

I couldn’t read what he wrote he had
hand writing me :). I called him
to ask what he wrote so I could
take some notes and then I could
follow up with him later on after I thought
about his NON medical or NON legal question
Note-I keep writing this so you are clear
that I don’t offer this kind of advice.

Anyway, he told me and basically he said
he went through my materials from a to z
and was starting to implement what I
recommended BUT he said he didn’t know what
to do.

I was thinking, “This is great, I love
when people do well.” I asked him
what the problem was. He said that all
of his friends and many family members
said that he should divorce his
wife immediately because of all of what
she did.
I listened carefully. I asked him to
quickly explain what she had done and
give me a brief summary. She basically
has been totally out of control and cost
him a ton of money. Made him look like
a fool. Possibly cheated on him, etc.

She did many things that my mom did
in my story at
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

So lots of bad things. I asked how long
they had been married he said not that
long. For some reason he didn’t want to
tell me the exact time so I didn’t press it.

I then asked when was she diagnosed and he
said like a week ago. I asked how long she
knew she had bipolar disorder. He said she
still really doesn’t know. He just found
out a week ago.

Then I remained silent and he said, and
I must laugh at the following because it’s
kind of funny, he said and I quote, “I
know you are not a doctor, lawyer, accountant,
tax person and all that stuff but I want
to know what you would do and I know that
you can’t give out legal, medical, tax,
and advice like that.” He laughed because
he said he follows my emails every day
and he thinks it’s funny how my list
of what I am not gets longer.

I told him I was going to add this week
that I am not a dentist, and chiropractor
either.

As a side note, when you are dealing with
supporting someone with bipolar disorder
you have to laugh some times and not
be so serious. I learned the humor
technique from my friend Stacy. Just
realize that you can laugh and don’t
have to be so serious.

Anyway, after we talked about all the
things that I am not, I said to him
that basically I would never leave someone
with bipolar disorder that just found out
and has no time to even comprehend what
they have.

Since I am “not running for office” so to
speak, I pointed out his friends were giving
bad advice in my opinion.

I then went on to tell him how much bad advice
I got from many of my friends about my mom.

All my friends basically told me to let
my mom go homeless.

The guy said that he felt that what I was
saying was right but he just needed some
confirmation from someone and that he
was excited to help his wife. He felt
that the material in my bipolar supporter
course would help him find a great
doctor and get his wife back on track.

We hung up and then I had to go eat
my burnt lunch that I made myself.

I wish someone would make a how to
cook if you have no idea how to cook
course which I would buy right away.

BIG BIPOLAR DISORDER WARNING!!!

Beware of friends advice. Many friends
love to give advice when it comes to
bipolar disorder and they have no clue.

I am not sure why this is. I find
that many friends look for quick
solutions to bipolar disorder. The quickest
solution is to not to deal with the person
ever

You have to be careful who you are getting
your advice from. Be careful of friends.
Many times friends are sincere but sincerely
wrong. They just don’t know. They don’t
want you to suffer as a supporter of
someone with bipolar disorder so they
look for a quick fix. The quick fix
is to walk away from the person.

I have also heard many other stories
of people getting advice from friends
that is really disturbing. Too disturbing
to write about.

One of the things that I did when I put
together my courses/system was to find
people who really have bipolar disorder
and are successful OR people who really
do support people with bipolar disorder
well. I wanted to hear about real strategies
and techniques not theory.

Just be careful. Even if you hear something
from me. Think about it. Talk to people
about it. See if it make sense. Always
think about what you hear. Don’t just
run with what any old person says.

Well that’s what I have to say today.

I have to take off. Have a great day.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com