How are you?
I just got back and I am dead tired.
Remember I was at that conference. Anyway,
it went really well. I will write you some
things that I learned that will be useful
to you after I review my notes.
In the meantime, I have any important
lesson to tell you about bipolar disorder.
Last night I was checking my voicemail
and I had dozens of messages. Just hearing
you have 31 new messages is enough to make
you want to run away :).
So I took at my message taking note book
so I could record who called and what time
and what the message was.
The first one was Jim from Chrysler Dodge
trying to get me to change me oil.
But message number two was a huge problem.
It was a 8 minute and 23 second message
from someone who’s loved one has
bipolar disorder. I could barely
hear the person but it was an incredibly
long and painful monologue about how
this person’s spouse has created all
these problems and is destroying her
life. She mentioned a number of
things that he did wrong and were
I must say it was painful. Part of me
just wanted to delete the message because
after 7 minutes I didn’t even know what
the question was or how long it would
Finally the message ended and the person
said, “Help me” and left her phone number.
I was amazed.
Then I went to message number 3. You’re
not going to believe this. It was a totally
different person supporting a loved one with
bipolar disorder. This message was 6 minutes.
BIPOLAR LESSON COMING SOON… HANG IN THERE
Then I went to message 4 and it was someone
who was supporting a child with bipolar disorder.
This message was the longest I think ever 12 minutes
long. It was seriously a long message. If you
looked up long message in the dictionary that
message should be transcribed.
It ended with “help me” and a phone number.
I was so tired I simply gave up with dealing
with voice messages for the night.
Then I got to thinking about exactly what
I did when I was first supporting my mom
with bipolar disorder. If you remember I
had no clue at all what to do.
So I made a plan. I called already and
I asked specific questions and listened
to what people had to say. Most people
had no idea what to do because I was
asking the wrong people. BUT when I found
the right person for a specific problem
that I was dealing with, I asked
specific questions and I got specific
answers. AND I took notes as well. And
then I let the person go quickly.
I always followed with, would you mind
if I had another quick concise question,
I give you a call? The person in every
case said yes.
Now after I thought about all of this,
my past experience and the 3 messages I
got dealing with bipolar disorder. NOTE
I don’t even know if I have 25 more like
this. It’s going to be a long day probably.
Thank God I have a new woman that I hired
taking over these messages. There are just
too many and it’s killing my ability to run
all my businesses.
Anyway, back to what I was saying. So,
there is a huge problem that I see
people who have bipolar disorder AND people
who are supporting people with bipolar disorder
That’s the long rambling non specific I need
Are you thinking, “Dave, what the heck is that?”
If you are new to the list, you might be thinking,
“This guy’s emails are really strange and he writes
weird, maybe he’s crazy…but I will keep reading
because I think he might have a good point.”
I do have a good point. Here it is. If you look
at everyone who can help you with bipolar disorder,
doctors, therapists, insurance people, other
supporters, employment specialists, myself,
so on and so forth, we all have one thing in
common–we only have so many hours each day.
The doctor has 24 hours in a day. The insurance
person has the same. I have the same. Everyone
has the same.
In addition, many people want to help people.
They really do. BUT the problem is, there are
generally lots of other people that need
help as well and all asking. What do you do?
Well here is what you do, you drop the long
sad rambling story (sorry to be blunt), because
anyone in this field has heard it probably between
200 and 5000 times. I personally can honestly
say that I have heard the same stories at least 2000
You might think that I am crazy or making this
number up. Keep in mind that I volunteer at
3 bipolar disorder support groups, I have a
huge list, I take my own calls, read my own
mail, take orders for my courses/systems over
the phone and have been doing this for 2 years.
At first I use to feel bad when I would try
to speed people along to get to the question
or specific problem and avoid the story.
But then after I have burned up so much of my
time it’s a requirement. I will not listen to
really long sad stories. I get to the bottom
line. If you have been on the phone with me
for one of my f.ree consultation certificates
for NON medical and NON legal questions (because
I am not a doctor, therapist, lawyer, insurance
person, etc.) you know that I constantly ask, “
What’s your biggest problem?” And I strive
to get you back on track.
Some people might think this is mean but I have
to do it, other wise I will go insane and broke.
How? Well I will start to hear the same stories
over and over again because for the most part
bipolar disorder runs a certain course. Generally
speaking the stories are almost the same.
They go like this, “my loved one is such a
great person and so smart. Really smart. But
then when he/she is off it’s a nightmare. They
are like a different person. They did
they never would have ever done things like
this unless they were off.
mad. It’s destroyed us. I can’t take it any
I have personally heard this type of story at least
Here’s the problem. You have to get specific. I know
that a lot of this is painful and you need someone
to vent to and there are people for that. But many
people that can help you have limited time
and we are dealing with many other people. ESPECIALLY
the doctors they have super limited time so you
have to get really specific with them to maximize what
they can do for you.
If you notice in my courses and systems I talk
about a way to get extra time for doctors/therapists.
It involves using a note book, email, phone calls,
SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
To make a long story short, you make your
questions before the appointment, make them
super clear and then give them to the doctor
before the appointment. It’s more complicated
than that but I don’t have time to write it
all out. NO I am not trying to force you to
buy my courses/systems I am just making a point.
Anyway, the other day I sent a email out
about making a list of the problems that you have
and being specific.
There are so many people on my list that
do NOT have a specific list for problems
they have. Each time they ask anyone
for help, they start with a really, really
long story and that makes people not want
to help because they have limited time
and don’t want to get trapped having to
hear a 1 hour story.
Anyway, people wrote me back about my daily
email about making a specific list of problems
as “too simple” and so wanted to know
when I was going to send “the good stuff.”
That is the good stuff. RIGHT NOW I want
you to make a list of your problems and what
you specifically need help with. I don’t
want you to go to doctors, therapists,
finance people, hospitals, etc being
Let others be the rambler. I want you
to stand out and be the person
that has specific questions that
you need help with.
The more specific you get, the better
the response you will get.
Then you won’t feel so frustrated all
Well I have to go now. I hope all this
made sense. A lot of this is hard
to write about but easy to talk about
but since I don’t own my own radio
show, I can’t talk about it.
It’s all in my courses however if you
are interested. Well write me some feedback
if you understand what I was trying to say
Wish me luck on my probably now 40 voice
P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.