Hi,
How are you?
I have a REALLY important lesson for you today
about bipolar disorder. It’s something I have
never really focused on.
There’s a quiz at the bottom related
to bipolar disorder make sure you take it.
I am not sure because it’s really important.
I started thinking about this because
of an incident I saw when I was coming
back from Pennsylvania.
Here’s the story and how it relates
to bipolar disorder.
Okay I had to go to check out my
new POTENTIAL furniture. Right now
my desk that I am typing on is
falling apart.
I found a person in PA that sells furniture.
I wanted to make sure that I got a great deal
AND that the furniture would last for several
life times (just kidding for at least 10 years
or so).
Anyway the top selling furniture person
who by the way use to work in a mental
health facility and told me many things
that you should read about concerning
mental health facilities. If you missed
that or want to reread it again, visit
my blog below and look for “Lesson
learned from stuttering furniture
sales person.”
Okay, so I drive all the way there.
I noticed on the way driving there,
there seemed to be some traffic going
the opposite way (the way I would
have to go back home).
That was strange to me because the traffic
never goes through that way. Anyway,
I made it to the store, ran in and found
the guy.
I looked at what I had and then I left.
I started driving back and guess what?
Traffic started slowing. Then it was slower
and then slower.
Then traffic was DEAD STOPPED. Nothing was
moving.
I thought to myself that in a minute
it would move.
BIPOLAR DISORDER LESSON IS COMING SOON
Hey, there’s a bipolar lesson coming don’t
worry.
So I sat there for like 10 minutes. I couldn’t
believe it. I didn’t move one inch.
25 minutes went by and I saw the same thing.
Then I saw people in front and behind me looking
out their car doors to see what the heck was
going on. I did the same you couldn’t see
anything. Then after like 31 minutes we moved
maybe 5 feet.
Then I almost was getting claustrophobia AND
I had to go to the bathroom really, really,
really bad. Since I drank too much water
before I left. I have to drink 1.2 gallons
a day for my training.
Then I started to get mad. I wanted to complain
but to who? I called my friend Tony and he
laughed at me.
AND THEN IT HAPPENED. About one hour
and 15 minutes had gone by and I moved
maybe 15 feet.
People started driving on the shoulder where
you aren’t suppose to drive to try to get ahead
but then the shoulder turned into bumper to
bumper traffic.
There were no exits you had to sit. It was a nightmare.
ONE MAN TAKES ACTION
One guy tried to go around somehow and he almost
hit another guy. The guy he almost hits gets
super mad and starts screaming at him. The
other guy says something and the guy almost
hit tells him I think to get out of the
car.
I was like, “Oh, no, there’s going to be a
fight.” So I sat and hoped that these ADULTS
would sit in their cars. Then I thought, I
hope that I don’t have to get involved
like if one guy beats up another and someone
has to break it up.
Well the guy that almost hit the guy wouldn’t
get out. The other guy that wanted him to
get out started screaming at him.
I heard little kids start to cry because you
could hear it all since there was no movement
and their was dead silence.
Part of me was super mad that this one guy
kept trying to provoke the other guy.
This lady next to me said to me across the
way, “That guy’s crazy. He is insane.”
I didn’t say anything at all. It was very odd.
Then after like 1 and half hours, the traffic
started to move.
STRANGE BIPOLAR DISORDER LESSON
There’s something called IED. Intermittent
Explosive Disorder also known as road rage.
Mayo Clinic says:
“Intermittent explosive disorder (IED) is
characterized by repeated episodes of aggressive,
violent behavior that are grossly out of proportion
to the situation. And, according to a June 2006 study
funded by the National Institute of Mental Health,
intermittent explosive disorder is more common
than once thought. Intermittent explosive disorder
occurs most often in young men and may affect as
many as 7.3 percent of adults in the United States.”
DID THIS GUY HAVE THIS OR BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Think for a second and then scroll down
after you formulate an opinion…
HAVE AN OPINION YET? SCROLL
Here’s my thoughts. First, I know
people may say, “YES!” he does
and some may say “maybe he
has bipolar disorder.”
BUT, this is the thing. We do NOT
know. If you are NOT a doctor
you should not be diagnosing people.
AND even more importantly, this entire
incident reminds me of a huge problem.
REPEATED PATTERNS VERSUS ONE TIME EVENTS
With IED, which this newsletter is NOT
about, and bipolar disorder, doctors
look for repeated patterns of behavior
to form a diagnosis not one time
events.
If the fighting guy in the car did
this once, that’s one thing. If he
starts fights on the highway all
the time that’s another.
When you are supporting someone
with bipolar disorder it’s important
to track patterns and report them to
the doctor and therapist so these people
can help make a proper diagnosis AND
treatment plan.
When I was seeing this guy, the entire
thing made me think of how important
it is. I know people on the road with me would think
the guy was crazy, had IED, bipolar disorder
schizophrenia, etc, but we would not know
his history.
One of the things lacking with doctors is
patients history. If patients come in and
the doctors asks for history, the doctor
normally gets what I call the “snow job”–
which is basically when a patient says
whatever they think they should say so
the truth about their condition is not
revealed.
It’s up to YOU the supporter to reveal
the patterns. Doctors then take this into
accountant along with a number of other things
doctors look at to make a correct diagnosis.
People write me all the time about how to figure
out if someone has bipolar disorder. I am NOT
a doctor or therapist but I know it’s a doctor
that has to make a diagnosis.
And you can help them by reporting signs and symptoms,
history and patterns you see.
So many supporters don’t do this.
DISTURBING THINGS AT SUPPORT GROUPS
I do a ton of volunteering and one of the most
disturbing things that I see is when people
try to treat and diagnose one another. I think
in my head, “these people have no clue and
are dangerous.”
Many supporters get a little knowledge and
then they run around and try to diagnosis
people AND sometimes talk about what medications
are good and bad.
This is a HUGE, and I mean HUGE and I mean HUGE
NO NO!
If someone who is not a doctor starts acting
like a doctor, run and don’t listen. Most of
these people really have no idea what they
are talking about.
SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
I have to run, have a great day.
Your Friend,
Dave
P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/
P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com
my days are so much easier knowing that I am not alone with dealing and loving a bipolare child, thank you…I was going threw some past blogs and came across the word NO..that was a hard on on us, but now I too say NO! yesterday we learned a new one, using a small stop sign, when we can see a rage coming on, hold the stop sign up, it just may stop the rage, we are going to try this.
Yes you are right. People tend to jump to conclusions quickly or label someone when they don’t have the credentials to do so they are not a DR.
I agree, not to jump to conclusions and don’t try to be a Dr. But where is the quiz? I do know somethings about bipolar but I would NEVER try to say or tell someone they have it, I would suggest that they go seek professional mental health care though. Thank you, Sandra
Dear Dave,
This is serious,….After my fiance’ who’s now decided after two weeks of my picking us back up again after he was romancing women and spending all of our rent and food money, that I’m nothing to him AGAIN! AND THAT HE NOW SUDDENLY WANTS TO GO TO LIVE IN A RAUNCHY HOTEL AGAIN….TO BE FREE CAUSE AS HE SAYS….AGAIN… FOR THE UMTEENTH TIME IN A CYCLIC WASTE MY TIME AND MONEY ROLE… he says that the romps with women etc,… were a mistake, yea, right… a purposely done again, want his cake and eat it too again… and has let me know that if he cant have it he’ll just move…this may be an episode however, how can I hold this person, I’m not married to him and it has destroyed me financially to no end. My phone is not on, The girls at work have tried to sabatoge my job now that the director at the hospital liked me and wanted me on staff from the agency for which I have spent five months working for… I have taken all of my tests and passed. Here’s where the sabatoge part comes in that I figure maybe it’s just time to let him go… He depletes all of the money and by the grace of God, literally through prayer, I got my landlord to take the rent at a later date.
Now my guy is trying to tell me that he wants to selfishly spend it on something for himself. Not all of it, but some of it… He wants to take more time to pay more of a balance. My car is in the shop. I can fix anything except the transmission and the things where I need a lift. I don’t have a lift or a garage.
My boss knew that my car is in the shop. That is my immediate supervisor who I also told that since the hospital won’t give me raise while hiring me on that would make a difference in my budget for survival purposes, that I would have to go get a second job at night etc..What do you think that my immediate supervisor does? While I’ve had a pretty steady schedule and I’ve been filling in for everyone on my days off, she went and changed my hours without asking me to night hours, thereby sabatoging any extra income that I may need. She also did one of these on me…”oh, by the way, you know your working a different shift tommorrow, right? I know that I didn’t change the schedule and that I didn’t tell you but…..” She sabatoged my job along with two other operators who literally yelled at me and told me that I’m the low man on the totem poll,(political garbage,like I’m not supposed to be treated with any respect) and that I am not allowed to even TALK, AND I MEAN VERBALLY SPEAK, ABOUT MY OWN SCHEDULE!!!
The one operator, who has been famous for sabatoging peoples jobs so much that I don’t understand why they keep her,threw another employee out that I was having a conversation about my schedule with…She is not a supervisor and also was not part of my conversation in any way. The disrespect and the yelling at me that I took was uncalled for. They watched me work on my solving my issue of supplementing the pay, which should not have been a problem..So jealous is as jealous does sometimes where females are concerned.. The three of them felt that they could commit “Bullying in the workplace” and who knows what they said to the director, who spent a ton of money to keep me on from the agency, send me to classes and hire me. I hadn’t signed the papers yet when those women did that. Myself, having been a former intern-investigator, you really don’t think that I’m going to let it go, do you? Letters will be written to the C.E.O. of that hospital, The one who yelled at me and degraded me and threw my co-worker out, is a supposedly reformed crack addict. This is what she had told me…Allbeit, she may have reformed herself but her mania’s and control issues and her manipulations are still there. The last girl she did this to, (of many) had a fatal vehicle accident when she left the hospital as she was so upset when Arlene, that operator, told the girl that died, that she-Arlene would step on that girl to get whatever she wanted…As I understand from other operators that I am still friendly with and who are upset at my issue…security had to be called for Arlene when she said that and more to that girl.. Arlene has tried many things with me including smacking my hand off of the telephone. Believe me, it took ALL of my military bearing not to even yell at her. I reported it later figuring who would believe me, she lies so much.. There has to be an investigation done or at least a letter or two written for the unlawful actions of the operators who participated in their schemes.. The director was one day away from speaking with me on it, as my Agency Boss stated that the girls were saying things to the director that I needed to put a stop to.. The director wanted to speak with me today. Somewhere in between the director and going to pick up my check something was done..
Dear Dave,
Just finishing my blog on what was done…In between my leaving my job yesterday and talking to the director who wanted me back, and stated so as I was leaving,
Somehow or other, by the time I reached the agency to pick up my pay, supposedly the director called the agency and said that they no longer needed me there. What happened. If that were the real case, don’t you think that she would have told me that on my way out? She wanted me back today.
Why is the Security Guard answering the phones today? Securtiy is only trained to man the phones if one of the operators doesn’t show, or if they need a quick break. But, not at 9:15 a.m.
Who would tell a worker not to come back to return the badge? Nothing was stated. When you leave a company, there is usually notice given unless something really drastic has happened. All companies want their badge back. All companies give an opportunity to clear a locker or take yourself properly off of your computor etc..
In my former investigative opinion….It wasn’t the director that called the agency to tell the agency that I wasn’t needed. Security, who only answers the phones when there’s no one to cover, was put there because it was made to look as if I just didn’t show up!!!!! I can tell you who probably placed that call to the agency. ARLENE., I guess that today I’ll go with another agency who offered me good work a long time ago. I won’t stay with the same agency because they refuse to investigate the situation. although it is known that if you work for an agency that you can be let go at a drop of a hat, they can’t negate the hiring issues and acceptance and physical and tests and statements of when I was to be put on payroll, etc. I am entitled to know what EXACTLY happened in that case. If it was the director, and she let the staff bully me like that and played that game, I wouldn’t want to work for them anyway. That stuff is not supposed to go on. I don’t tolerate it.
Point being, my whatever he thinks he is at this moment, has just told me that he used me and that he now wants to move away and that he doesn’t love me. He tries to get control by just walking off when I try to talk to him. He only tried to stangle me three times today (what is it with bipolar people who have a need to strangle???) Of course he didn’t succeed. He claimed that he is just TRYING TO SAVE US TODAY BY GOING TO WORK AFTER SHREDDING EVERYTHING WE HAVE. This is the same cycle, over and over, am I supposed to baker act him at this point? He told me that he doesn’t want me. He told me that he hates having sex with me (I’m a former bikini model) he told me that I’m not attractive and that he’s not attracted to me, as he sat and ate his home made lasagne, before going on the bus to work…after asking me for money to get himself to work. He asked me if I couldn’t just tell that he just doesn’t want me and never will.
I asked him..”so, was it really a mistake that you were with other women and spent all the money or don’t you think that you intended on doing this?” ” depleting our money as you did before many times, having me save the home, feed us, and in the end…TO THE VERY NEXT HOUR!!!!!TELL ME THAT HE DOESN’T WANT ME AND NEVER HAS AND NEVER WILL.
Well, I should have put him in the street like he tried to leave me. (now very obviousely) So—did he mean to be cruel to me when he so called made his mistakes with other women???? Did he purposely try to destroy me like he said when he came home from one of these romps (literally said it)?
Did he then do it again the same day that he told me to leave him if he ever does it again? (yes). Did he tell me he loves me and that he’ll go to counseling after the first and second time? yes, even right after he told me he was trying to destroy me. Did he come forward with telling me within minutes after the rent was saved the second time he did it (in the same week) that he really didn’t love me and that he wants to be on his own? (yes) just like all the other times.
I ask him why he doesn’t just stay with one of the strippers that he picks up? He replies, that they’re not his friend. I say, surely in two and a half years, you could have found any roomate other than me to keep comming back to if you don’t want me…what happened? why didn’t you go live with someone else if you’re “not in love with me” and now “doesn’t love me but only cares about me” (not! people who care for you don’t try to destroy you and then tell you about it in the same breath, then pretend they love you and say it and then the same day tell you that they never wanted you)
He’s either very sick, and I mean sick, worse off than bipolar,
and the only way to save myself, is to let him go. I’m at the brink of homelessness if another miracle doesn’t happen today. He wants to be out there. He told me to leave him go.
I asked him if he knew the guilt that I have for letting him go as many times he’s almost starved himself and drank himself into I don’t know what. I tell him he needs help. He, having personality number 8, comes out and tells me that he’ll be ok. and that there were no other women…(??????) at least none that he can exactly remember in the past two weeks of him comming home with everything all over him. I must save myself. He doesn’t want the help…he claims he doesn’t want ME and that that’s why he does this….although, he’s been doing this since his teens. He says he hates the fact that he needed me and now (four days from the last romp only) claims that he no longer needs me, and doesn’t want me. Can you imagine this cycle going on while I’m trying to accomplish things at fourty one?
I’ve given him three years of my life, miscarried two sets of twins with him, been sought out by other women that were having affairs with him and one hit me in the stomach and I lost my babies, he’s violent, and sends females to hurt me when he wants affairs with them. (there’s a police report from last year) and I say, THAT THIS PERSON DOESN’T WANT ME.
He tells me that if he were me, he wouldn’t ever take him back or even see him.(??????????) So in a criminal mind study, he knows what he’s doing, doesn’t he? He knows and doesn’t want to be helped. He flat out tells me and admits that “he’s a socio-psychopath and doesn’t want help”
He literally asks me “how can one help a socio-psychopath if they don’t want the help?” Well, if there’s anything that he and I agree on, it’s that.
Good point Dave. I want to thank you for your work on this disorder. I appreciate all of experience that you have to share. I say this because I have been married for almost 14 years the last two years have been trying as we now have two kids. My husband is currently in therapy are seriously thinking he is bipolar. Your lessons have been a big help to me with trying to understand my husband. Thanks
I sort of understand your concern about support groups – some are better than others. But I do think that feedback from users of medications about their experience with them can be useful. Although no one should prescribe meds without being qualified, a lay person can from his/her own experience make observations about durgs and their effects which might be useful to another sufferer. I have seen a lot of bps who I believe are over drugged…and they are not aware that they have the option of voicing their opinions of the state the drug puts them in to the doctors. Discussion of alternative medications empowers the sufferer to take greater charge of their own care, which is vital in managing a disorder.
Dave..I am glad I read this post last as I am cancelling my newsletter today. I am FINALLY leaving my B/P boyfriend–After the drama of him trying to get into my house-police being called. Him going crazy over his ex, their daughter ect… I am sad, going to miss him BUT am excited to have had the courage this time and can finally not “babysit” him any longer. Your emails have been a tremendous help throughout the unnessary drama and I have learned alot. Most importantly to love myself– I have FINALLY put myself first. Good luck to all of you and goodbye!!!!!!
Hi to all,
I’m Jon 33 from Surrey UK – have been told by 3 separate people that I might be Bipolar and after having read the website I tick all the boxes.
I really enjoy my life and thrive on the rollercoaster of my emotions – the site wories me as it talks about treatment for my illness??? I don’t want to be treated . . . why do I want to be changed from who I am into something that someone thinks I should be?? I am embrassing bipolarism with a smile and a positive attitude – it’s who I am and I don’t want to be a society clone
As for the man on the highway . . . perhaps he is just a bad tempered individual who cn’t controll his anger – I have learnt to suppress my rages – I get a huge surge of energy and a mini blackout when anger strikes, makes me stop instantly – quite an amazing feeling
Best wishes to all
Jon
Where is the quiz? Many thanks for the emails I find them very useful
Hi Dave,
I just found your course information yesterday after doing a google search. I have recently been encouraged to explore the possibility that I might be bi-polar, but from what I’ve found so far I’m not sure. I definately see myself as mildy bi-polar, and am wondering if there is such a thing.
I know you’re not in teh business of diagnosing, and I do have an appointment with my doctor next week. However, I am not a huge fan of the medical establishment and the pharmecutical industry, and am not sure I want to be at their mercy. Why do you caution against “natural” treatments vs. pharmeucuticals (please pardon me for my inconsistent spelling of that word!) I don’t mean to challenge you, I’m just wondering. In my case, if I’m bi-polar at all, it doesn’t seem to be as severe or destructive as many of the cases you’ve described, so maybe herbal remedies would be enough for me. I hope so. I guess all I can do is try what’s out there and find out.
Anyway, thanks for the work you are doing for your mom and bipolar sufferers everywhere. If you think your course could help someone like me who isn’t sure whether I am bi-polar or not, then let me know.
Take care,
Karen
Dear Blog responders,
Has anyone ever seen such a severe attach as to have the person that had the attack does not remember what happened or what they did. If so please write back. I have had a severe attack and have had these before, but years, triggers, and depression apart caused these, I believe.
I’d love to hear from others that have had such attacks. It scared me and has left me legally in trouble for my actions during such attack. I need to know I am not alone and what others may know about these kinds of attacks/blackouts.
Sincerely and desperate for those that can help me understand.
In addition, Dave:
I know you say not to talk to others and they can be dangerous when acting as a mentor on this disease, but honestly, I have seen what you are talking about, Persons advising another not to take a medications because it is bad for them……
But on the other hand, I trust my own research, and the advice of others, such as yourself, rather than the political B.S. shuvled out by doctors.
You see, in my opinion, most doctors are burned out with no bedside manner or listening skills what so ever and seems to more and more each day lead to disaster and even death to the patient.
I have had doctors wanting to schedule surgery on me and did not want me to get a second opinion:
result: I never did have any of the “concerned must have now surgeries” cohersed by doctors and their money making B.S. And I am very physically healthy and still have my body parts.
I say, listening to just a doctor is being a true idiot and you almost have to take the majority of the blame if you let these doctors treat you this way….do not trust that a professional knows what they are doing, always investigate, and talk to others. Dave if people shouldn’t listen or converse with those that know, but are not legal doctors, we would not be speaking right now.
I say, be smart, get information whereever available, weed out the junk, and you can survive this terrible cycle.
Basically, always question authority, has always been my moto.
Abraham Lincoln said it well when he said, give a man power and he’ll reveal his true character…
Doctors get GOD complexes and lose touch with where the truth lies, the patient and what they have to say and what they know. Doctors like to treat patients as idiots and keep every visit cold and short, for many reasons, so without help and aid elsewhere, where would I be with this debilitating disorder.
Dave please don’t ever stop giving advice and pulling advice from all sources to share with us. Doctors and the public could truly use a wakeup call and some sympathy towards those that have this disease.
Sincerely,
M.E.
Dear Dave,
I just wanted to write and tell you what
an incredible service you are doing, by
educating people on bipolar disorder.
I wish I had known about your information sites and e-mails before my husband committed suicide last October. He was taking Lamictal (after trying everything else) then started drinking heavily and taking Ambien at the same time. He was an amazing,intellectually gifted and handsome man, but was tormented by this disorder. By reading
your e-mails, I at least understand more
about what he was going through.
God bless you, Dave, for your tireless attempts in getting your message out.
Sincerely, Barbara