Hi.
Today is going to be an interesting
day for me. You remember how I had all
those problems with my printer who
made all the printing for my bipolar
disorder material? Well I am in the
process of moving to another printer.
NOTE-You can catch up on this story
by reading my blog at the end of this
email.
After I started to take all my business
away from the first printer, they realized
it seriously hurt their sales. Anyway,
to make a long story short, they (
like 5 people) want to talk about my leaving
and going to another printer. The meeting
is at 10:00am this morning.
Over the next few days, I am going to
tell you how I dealt with this printer
and why you will have to use the
SAME exact strategies when dealing
with the mental health system.
I used the same exact strategy with
the printer I used with my mom’s outpatient
program she was at. The one that wasn’t
wasn’t helping her.
You’re going to like it. But today
I want to tell you a quick story of
someone that I spoke to yesterday
in the store.
I was in the store, looking for some
stuff for my office. I was looking
for one of those “things” that you
can put a bunch of stacks of paper
in. I have no idea what it’s called
and I am sure that the people didn’t
like the fact I asked for a “thing.”
So anyway, I wound up mentioning
to someone that I had a number of websites
online related to disorders like bipolar
disorder and that I wanted to use this
thing to organize the papers and stack
them in groups vertically.
Someone overheard me and asked
if I am a psychiatrist. I told him
that I wasn’t a doctor, therapist,
lawyer, accountant, insurance agent,
dentist, etc.
He looked at me strange and I explained
why I tell people all the stuff that
I am not so they don’t get the
wrong idea that I am a doctor, lawyer,
therapist, ect. He said “oh I see.”
So then I gave him
the short version of why I know about
bipolar disorder. I told him about
my mom, the websites, my list, etc.
etc.
He was excited. He then pulled me ahead
and said that someone in his family
who he would not tell me who it was,
was in trouble.
Hmm. I listened. I told him I really
had to go but I would give him
5 minutes but he could send me a fax
later on and I would answer any non
medical and non legal questions.
He said fair enough. So he basically
told me how someone was having all this
trouble for years and how doctors
“suck” and therapists “steal money.”
Hmmm. I listened. He then said that
no one can “fix” his loved one
and it’s terrible. He said, “I know
you aren’t a doctor but what would
you do.”
I then asked him a series of questions
and since I have to go really soon
I will have to give you the short version
of the questions.
To make a long story short, he
did what I call “the dump off.”
THE DUMP OFF is BAD!
I told him all about the dump off
and explained what he should be doing.
He thought about it and said, “you
are so right, that makes total sense.”
You probably thinking, “Hmm
Dave, what the heck is the dump off.”
If you are new to my list you may
be thinking, “This guy sure is
odd, first he tells me about his
printer then he tells me a story
and then he uses a term which I have
never heard about or seen…Maybe
he’s crazy??”
I am not crazy. Actually crazy isn’t a
disorder either as a side note.
But let’s get back to the lesson.
The “dump off” is when a caregiver
takes a loved one with bipolar disorder
and simply “dumps” them off at a hospital,
group, doctor, or part of the mental
health system with NO follow up
and assumes the system will take
care of everything from a to z
and the caregiver or supporter has
to do nothing else.
I have NEVER ever seen or heard this
working well.
When you take someone to a doctor,
therapist, hospital, you can’t dump
them off.
You have to follow up and follow through.
You have to stay on top of things. You know
now that I am writing this, I realize why
someone would think that the “professionals”
should do a good job and “handle” everything
from a to z. That’s the way it should be.
But the reality is, it’s NOT that way.
Instead of just dumping a loved one off
you should take them to where they
are suppose to go and then
-Ask questions
-Act like you are in the know and have ways to figure
out and verify any information given
-Check on things
-Report signs and symptoms you are seeing
-Make sure the person is in the 5% group not the
95% group.
-Make your loved one is NOT getting AL treatment. This
is a huge problem
-Demand proper treatment for your loved one
This is just a few things you have to be doing
as a caregiver of someone who has bipolar disorder.
I don’t have any kids. But I think with kids
you have to check on them and make sure they
are not doing bad things.
I do that myself with the people in the mental
health system. I am always checking. They
know it.
It’s NOT LIKE FIXING YOUR CAR
My blinker is blinking really, really, really
fast. And my back light is out. So I took my
car to the shop. Luckily for me, I got there
with only 7 miles left on my warranty. Great
for me. But anyway, I dropped my car off
and in one day it will be fixed. I don’t have
to do a lot of work to work with the car fixing
people.
Some people think that bipolar disorder is like
having a car fixed. Dump off your loved one
and then they are “fixed” in a certain period
of time without any assistant on the part of the
caregiver.
I have found this not to be true.
In all my courses/systems, people repeat this
theme over and over again talk about exactly
what to do.
SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
I have to get ready for my meeting. I will
write you more tomorrow. Have a great day.
Your Friend,
Dave
P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/
P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com
Hello David, I have an uncle who is bipolar and has been carpet bombing me with hateful letters for the past year.I finally sat down to type out a reply (I don’t dare tell him I have e-mail). I was/am angry and my letter was going to be a saner,logical, non-name-calling version of one of his. I JUST found your writings (timing,weird) and am taking a different approach. Logic will likely be lost on him. Thanks and thanks in advance for the information. Be well, Jenks
I’ve been asking for feedback on a question regarding the severity of bi-polar disorder–I would really appreciate if someone could help with insight or opinion on different degrees. I am described as mildly bi-polar. I have episodes of frequent ‘mood’ swings, mostly depression. My psyc. says my home life situation is a big problem. When I see changes in that, I’m much more balanced. But I read of people having to go to the hospital with it or other really serious conditions. Is it something that gets progressively worse? Will I just have episodes from time to time? I have researched till I’m sick of hearing about it, yet I’m supposed to be bi-polar and take the meds (geodon, lamictal, welbutrin). I haven’t found a support group yet. Anybody know what I’m talking about here?
Reading your story is like being able to take a tiny breath of hope. We adopted by daughter at 18 months, she is now 22 yrs. old and college eduated but until now in her life we have been able to I guess in a way hide her illness. We weren’t even sure it was an illness actually, but we hid the horrible cursings, fits of rage, and bizarre behavior because it was mainly aimed at me. I don’t care what relationship in her life was going bad I was an easy target for her because she knew I wasn’t going anywhere afterwards. Last month she was in my kitchen on a “rant” and was waving a butcher knife around, this was different than any time before and I wasn’t sure who was going to get the knife, me or her. My husband arrived thank the Lord, we ended up taking her to a mental health facility. They kept her 4 whole days and treated depression and anxiety only and she is much worse. Last weekend she physically fought her boyfriend and his whole family trying to run his mother down with her car. No charges were filed and she disappeared for 24 hrs. Finally she called her brother and was 8 hrs. away (totally out of character for her) and we sent money and my son went to get her. She refused to go back to her apartment or here and has disappeared again. I made many many calls up the the judge even and we are helpless to do anything. We could ask for an EOD but she might beat us back home because she knows the right answers to give and until criminal charges are filed or she kills herself or someone else we are helpless in the situation. We found out she has started smoking marijuana and with her diabetes and mental illness we are terrified of what will happen. Is there any other help for us or her? I am absorbing your articles and saving up to buy the entire collection, thank you so much for doing the research that is physically/costly impossible for us to do………terri
HI! DAVID: GREAT SITE KEEP UP YOUR EXCELLENT WORK.VERY MUCH APPRECIATED.LOVE THE VIDEOS MUCH QUICKER FOR INFORMATION BUT I ALSO READ EVERY WORD ON THE OTHER SITE.YOU DESERVE A 6 FIGURE SALARY FOR ALL YOU DO,KNOW,ALL THE PEOPLE YOU HELP. SINCERELY, LINDA
i have a very very low bipolar but when i have episodes there not too too bad now but back in the day there was 8 suicide attempts nothing people say or do is going to go through your head trust me, right now i’m totaly normal but when i can tell now that 3 mths ago i wasnt for about 2 mths and i can fool everyone into thinking i am like there are 2 versions of me the one who likes everything qeiet and calm and ruitine and the one who gets mad easily and stays up late and cant sleep and is angry all the time,when i get to my desperate point though i beg to go to the hospital , but you dont want that you want to prevent relapse i personally can tell you alot without payment ltlmomma@gmail.com i’ll answer questions i have bipolar so it might be better coming from me please dont mention any of this on my blog!! its something thats keeping me from relapsing thats one tip if your family member or friend always has some type of goal project craft to look forward to this will prevent relapse many times because it prevents depression,depression causes alot of reapse and sleep also is a number one factor if they dont sleep for like four or five days in a row promply talk with the doc, this will most deff. cause relapse!!
cigi i was on geodon it messed me up i ended me up in the hospital!they just fix your meds
My wife has bipolar and am curious to know more about geodon and klonopin. Klonopin messed her up horribly. She is currently undergoing treatment, but when there are children involved, how do you teach them the correct behavior to lower anxiety?
My 34 year old, bi-polar daughter is driving me nuts. She is so insanely jealous of her brother and other siblings (four sisters) that when I told her I was going to Savannah to see her brother (who is on leave then from Afganistan) she gets very irate. She wants me out there in L.A., but since my son is only going to be on leave for two weeks and must return to AFG (into God knows what), I feel that I MUST go to Savannah first. She has been hospitalized several times at Cedars due to suicidal threats and I am afraid she might carry out her threats.
She doesn’t take her Seroquel, so that’s another problem. The Seroquel makes her sleep 12 hours at a time, so she can only work a couple of hours at a time and there are no jobs that accommodate this.
What do you suggest I do when she takes this stance? What do I when she begs for money (she’s always overdrawing her bank account)? I am going nuts over this with guilt, because I don’t always have the money to send.
Betty,
I have had similar problems. Some of the things people don’t understand about bipolar is that they one of the mania’s is spending money. Unfortunately, this can’t stop until the condition is in controlled. Seroquel also had similar problems with my situation in that it caused her to be very groggy, etc. The thing to be remember is that seroquel is a downer. And my experienece is it is not good. Doctor has put my situation on Lorazepam, Tegrodol, and Abilify and this has made alot of the mania go away. At least a good starting point.
Steve
David, I believe it is because there is still a bias when it comes to a mental condition/problem
I mentioned this to one of my doctors and he was shocked. But I believe it to be true at the layman level primarily because they do not understand and there is also an element of fear. Before I was diagnosed inspite of Bipolar I had a lot of friends and after I was diagnosed I had no friends only family who are technically stuck with me until the bitter end. So yes I believe in the bias theory and witnessed it first hand.
Dear Dave, I am so blessed by what you have to share. For the insight and timely wisdom. Some of it is so real where not everything I have ever read or tried to understand has been. My son was diagnosed bipolar june of 2006 and many things happened, but he has been on meds since that time and has done very well. kudos!!!
omg wow..haha dave u sound like me every day when I’m chatting online. They always ask me why I keep changing the subject, and some even stopped talking to me. But that’s ok because people are afraid of what they don’t understand, and I don’t need to know anybody who won’t make the effort, now do I.
That’s the funny thing about chatting online tho, lots of things can be misconscrued, whereas in person they would make total sense and no harm would be done. It kinda reminds me of a dream, actually NIGHTMARE I had last night, and wow, I can still remember it vividly, which is rare. So anyway, I was in a pharmacy, and asked to speak to a doctor or pharmacist, because I was worried I wasn’t getting the right help. Then they told me I had missed 2 appointments already, and the nurse pushed her finger against my forehead in a teasing manner…
I always forget things lately, but APPARENTLY that is from post trama, which I don’t want to talk about now.
They can be really clinical in pharmacies..haha. So when she pushed me with her finger, I jumped back and screamed “DON’T TOUCH ME!” and then I was instantly irritated. I told her that I forget things, and she can’t blame me, and at least I was here in the first place. I got so upset.
Ok where was I..oh yea, if you really want to help yourself, like I have found out, I don’t involve myself with people anymore who won’t do that extra bit to understand….which unfortunately leads to a very lonely time lol. Because people are ignorant…I’m sure you know what I mean…Ok my find=gers are sore now gonna stop
You know, I’ve been mis-diagnosed so many times, I don’t even remember what is wrong with me…haha. My GP isn’t qualified for this, and first it was clinical depression, then post-traumatic-stress-disorder, then a seratonin chemical imbalance…ffs. But these meds do nothing to stop the huge differences in my moods, and I read recently that the kind of medication that is used to treat depression, or PTSD etc, does nothing to help Manic depression. GREAT!! NOW WHAT? lol. So I’m gonna try get some advice somewhere…NOT the type of advice that starts off with the words: “You need to go see your GP about that” because I HAVE…MANY MANY times thx. And then when I mention that I understand about the PTSD etc. but what about before my accident? I have been like this my whole life and was labelled as a “problem child” and “hyperactive”. hmm ok
So a drunk driver hit me head on and near took my left leg off, and I spent 3 years on my back, in a wheelchair, and on a set of crutches respectively, then had to teach myself to walk, since no one was bothered…Fine by me, and I’m sure the meds I take help keep panic attacks related to my accident under control, but WHAT ABOUT MY bi-polar…ok I’m getting irritated again, sorry. Better go for now. Cya Dave