Bipolar Supporter? Realize This Difficult Thing

Hi,

Hope you’re doing good today.

If you’re a bipolar supporter, I have some good news and some bad news (don’t you hate when people do that?).

The good news is that your loved one can get better.

The bad news is that the bipolar disorder they have, works to try to prevent you from helping them get better.

Take a look at this:

Someone with the handle “tried them all” wrote the following:

“For over six years, I have been lying to myself. I have been hurting myself emotionally and physically. I seek help, but I am really lying that I want help at all. I’ve seen at least a dozen professionals, none of whom have helped me. Although each and every one had a fault, I could not overlook their deficiencies to see my own.

I am angry, but won’t admit to my anger. My anger is at myself…anger turned inward. I do harmful things to ‘act out’ my anger, but I only hurt myself and those around me. I have done nothing to help myself and all my efforts to seek help thus far have been in vain. I have lost the love of many. I no longer have the people and things that have meant most to me.

I have found that instead of working with these professionals, I have worked against them. Instead of trying to make things better, I have only made them worse.

I have only thought negatively, rather than positively. Instead of saying “I can,” I make excuses for why “I can’t.” I don’t try now because I fear failure. I have failed because I have been lying to myself.”
———————————————————

You can see how this person is struggling with a battle against bipolar disorder.

On the one hand, they want help. On the other hand, the bipolar works to stop the person from getting help.

It is complicated indeed!

I find that in these situations, supporters have to make huge efforts to get their loved ones into the right treatment, so that’s one of the things I go over in my courses/systems.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
It’s like bipolar disorder is your enemy, fighting against you all the time, and doesn’t want you to win, so in order to help your loved one, you have to step up your efforts every time the bipolar does (which seems to be all the time sometimes).

You can just feel the pain that this person in the post is going through. All the “on the one hand” and then “on the other hand,” whether they say it or not. They are so confused!

I bet your loved one goes through the same thing.

The most important thing is not only that they get treatment, but that they get the right treatment.

Not only that, but they have to be cooperative with their treatment.

This person talked about the many professionals they sought for treatment.

But then they said, “I have found that instead of working with these professionals, I have worked against them. Instead of trying to make things better, I have only made them worse.”

One of the ways you can help your loved one is to encourage them to work with the professionals trying to help them. Tell them that they need to be part of their own treatment, or it won’t work, and they can’t get better – that they have to be HONEST with their treatment team.

First of all, if they don’t go to their appointments, they will NEVER get better, because how can they get ANY help at all?

Tell your loved one that as much as you love them, that you can’t help them all by yourself – that they need these professionals to help them, too.

Maybe you can even show your loved one this email and let them read the post from “tried them all,” so they can see how they might end up if they don’t cooperate with their own professionals.

Let them see some of the things that this person said. I’m sure your loved one doesn’t want to hurt themselves emotionally and physically like this person says they’ve done.

I’m sure your loved one doesn’t want to do hurtful things in “anger turned inward” to hurt themselves or you.

Or to be like this person who goes on to say, “I have lost the love of many. I no longer have the people and things that have meant most to me.”

Maybe you should tell your loved one that you don’t want them to turn out like that. That you don’t want them to lose you, but that if they continue not to seek help for their bipolar disorder, that they might lose you anyway.

I know that seems harsh, but many supporters have left their loved ones because, without proper treatment, their loved ones got worse, not better.

I know you want your loved one to get better.

I know that you love them, or you wouldn’t be with them.

One of the hardest things, supporters tell me, is getting their loved one into treatment.

This post shows what happens when a person with bipolar disorder doesn’t get the treatment they need.

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Letter From Bipolar Manic Supporter

Hi,

How’s it going today?

What’s going on? Hope you are doing well. I have a ton of things I have to do today so I have to get going.

Oh, someone asked me about the new position I am going to be hiring for. I will post it in a few weeks.

Oh, someone asked about when I will be coming out with the information on disability and bipolar disorder. Probably not until February 2008.

Okay, so I got this email that I wanted to share with you:

“Dave, I’ve been getting your emails for a while now, and I usually like them, but lately I just don’t think they apply to my situation. My wife has just gone crazy. I thought she was taking her medication, but maybe she wasn’t. She maxed out our credit cards, cleaned out our checking account, and remortgaged the house without me even knowing about it. I don’t know what to do. But I don’t even think that’s the worst of it. Dave, we’ve been married for 30 years, we’ve raised 3 children, and I thought we had a good life. I have never, not once, cheated on her. And I know she hasn’t cheated on me before. But now I know she has. It would be too embarrassing to tell you how I know, but believe me, I know. Now what do I do? Is this the last straw? Should I divorce her? I don’t think I could ever forgive her. This is what a manic episode can do to a marriage. Why don’t you ever talk about that?”

—————————————————————–

Well, first of all, I’m not a lawyer, marriage counselor, or any other kind of professional, so I can’t give any kind of advice like that.

But I can tell you that this isn’t the first email I’ve gotten like this.

So let me point out a few things.

There was a key phrase that just stood out like a neon sign to me at the beginning of this man’s email:

“I thought she was taking her medication, but maybe she wasn’t.”

When someone with bipolar disorder goes off their medication, they may not go into an episode right away, but it is pretty much inevitable that they will eventually go into one.

This is evident by the rest of what this man said in his email.

In my courses/systems, I discuss the signs/symptoms of bipolar episodes:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
The signs/symptoms of a bipolar manic episode are evident from this man’s email, as he describes his wife’s behavior.

One of the main symptoms of a manic episode is excessive spending.

He says, “She maxed out our credit cards, cleaned out our checking account, and remortgage the house without me even knowing about it.”

When someone with bipolar disorder is not on their medication, they are not stable.

Someone who is normally very responsible with money, could very well show this type of behavior.

Another sign/symptom of a bipolar manic episode is impulsivity.

This can be manifested in bad choices, poor decision making, and risk-taking behavior.

Examples of this include:

· Gambling
· Driving recklessly
· Substance abuse
· Sexual promiscuity

Unfortunately, there may be consequences to these bad choices, poor decisions, and risk-taking behaviors, even though many times, the person may not even remember what happened during the episode.

For example, someone in a manic episode may get drunk, drive recklessly, and end up getting arrested for a DUI… yet later on, have no idea how they got there or what they did.

There have been several cases of women with
bipolar disorder who have been model wives while on their medication but when they’ve gone off their medication, have shown sexual risk-taking behavior such as having affairs with strange men – yet afterward have had no recollection of doing anything wrong.

In these cases, the only evidence of the affair has been a sexually transmitted disease that they’ve passed on to their husband.

(I’m not showing prejudice here — the same thing has also been true of men.) As I said in the beginning of this post, I’m not a doctor, marriage counselor, or other professional,  so I can’t give this man any advice like he’s asking for. I can’t tell him whether to get a divorce or not.

What I can say is that this woman shows all the earmarks of being in a bipolar manic episode which will NOT go away on its own.

She needs help.

If this is a case of her going off her medication, then she needs to go back on it right away (under a doctor’s care).

The issues brought up by this email are some of the issues that supporters and their loved ones face after a bipolar episode.

Counseling (individual and group), family therapy, marriage counseling, support groups, and individual and /or couples therapy are some ways that people have tried to help deal with the consequences of a bipolar  episode.

In the end, it boils down to communication between the supporter and their loved one and how they decide to handle the behavior and its consequences.

Whatever you do, however, the most important thing is that your loved one’s bipolar disorder MUST be managed;
which means that their medication must first be brought under control.

They must stick to their treatment plan for any long-term stability and decrease of episodes.

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Important Notice About Christianity, Spirituality and Bipolar Series

Hi,

If you are looking into Christianity, Spirituality and Michele Soloway Sexton’s The Bipolar Spiritual Journey series and were confused by a web page you looked at, I wanted to send a quick notice that everything has been fixed.

We had a few problems with the way the website was displaying. All has been fixed now.

If you don’t know what I am talking about OR you want more information on this series….

PLEASE READ THIS CAREFULLY

If you HAVE Michele’s The Bipolar Spiritual Journey, Volume I visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/spiritualjourneypack/

If you do NOT have Michele’s The Bipolar Spiritual Journey, Volume I visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/spiritualjourneyspecialoffer/

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Current Bipolar News

Hi,

How’s it going?

So yesterday was Thanksgiving. You know what’s strange? I ate less than I normally do. MUCH less. Very strange. It was because of poor meal planning. Oh well 🙂

Anyway, Here is today’s news.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews406

Mother, Daughter Hail Promise of Bipolar Help

When Mental Illness Tarnishes your Golden Years

Bipolar Disorder Genes, Pathways Identified By Indiana University Neuroscientists

More Studies Urged for Off-label Drugs

Bipolar Teen Kills Himself as Online Audience Watches

Tough Choices for Tough Children

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews406

==>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Happy Thanksgiving and Learning from Bipolar Episodes

Hi,

How’s it going?

Happy Thanksgiving if you celebrate it. If you don’t know what Thanksgiving is, type it into google.com and learn about it.

Don’t laugh we now have tens of thousands of international readers that might not know what the holiday is.

Anyway, I have to get ready to do some cardio outside and then head over to my parents house later on after I do some work. YES, I have to work on Thanksgiving. I have a lot of great projects I am working on that you are going to like.

Okay, I was talking to a woman the other day who was telling me she had just been in a bipolar episode.

I told her, “I’m sorry to hear that.”

She said, “Don’t be sorry. With every episode I have, I learn, and I prevent the same thing from happening the next time, and it gets easier to handle episodes.”

I thought, what a great attitude!

And then I thought about the truth in what she said – About how she learned from each episode.

Think back to when you were a kid… You had to crawl before you could learn to walk, right?

And you couldn’t learn to read before you learned your ABC’s.

Now think back to when you were a little older and got a little popular, but you had to do it by making one friend at a time, didn’t you?

And in high school, you didn’t get your diploma overnight, did you?

Each lesson built on the one before it.

Each grade built on the grade before that.

Then later you got married (if you are).

You didn’t instantly know how to be a good husband or wife.

You had learned it from all the relationships you had before you got married.

You learned what to do and what not to do.

Now think of your life lessons…

Your choices and decisions…

Your mistakes and failures…

And how each success, each accomplishment, everything you’ve gotten, was based on all of that.

If you’d never failed, you wouldn’t have learned how to succeed.

If you hadn’t made bad choices, you wouldn’t learned how to make good ones.

Now think of what that woman said to me the other day about her episodes, and how she learned from them.

In my courses/systems, when I talk about episodes, I tell you that you have to take responsibility for what happens during those episodes.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
That’s exactly what this woman was saying.

She not only took responsibility, but she used the experience as an opportunity to learn and to grow.

To turn failure into success.

To turn bad choices into good ones.

To not make the same mistakes again.

“To prevent the same thing from happening the next time,” is the way she put it.

And she had a positive attitude about the whole experience, that’s what I admire the most.

We can all learn a lot from the things this woman said.

I’m not saying that going through episodes (or life) is easy.

But if each time you learn something from them, like she said, “it gets easier to handle episodes.”

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Bipolar? Waiting Room Tips

Hi,

Hope you’re having a great day!

Since my dad had a stroke, the other week, I was talking to him about what his experience was in the waiting room.

Then I was remembering all my experiences waiting in waiting rooms.

Having bipolar disorder, there are several appointments you have to attend to regularly, such as:

· Doctors
· Psychiatrist
· Therapist
· Support group
· (among others)

Especially for supporters, who don’t necessarily go into the actual appointment with their loved one.

So, much of your time is spent doing what?

WAITING!

Sometimes it’s because you’re early for your appointment, sometimes it’s because the doctor (or whoever) is running behind schedule, or sometimes it’s for other reasons (like if you’re a supporter, you have to wait for your loved one).

Getting frustrated and impatient will get you nowhere. And it may just stress you out, stress that you don’t need.

In fact, it can make matters worse – it can make you forget what you wanted to ask the doctor, or what you wanted to bring up in your therapy session.

In my courses/system, I talk about how important productivity is:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

Instead of being irritable and unhappy during times of waiting in those waiting rooms, wouldn’t you rather be productive instead?

Here are some helpful hints:

· Prepare ahead of time, and bring something with you to do.

· Read a book.

· Read a magazine in the waiting room (some of them have some good articles on how to take care of your health)

· Sew, knit, crochet, cross-stitch, embroider, or quilt

· Make a list of questions to ask the doctor

· Make a list of issues to discuss with the Therapist

· Make a To-Do List

· Write a letter (catch up on correspondence)

· Speak to other patients who are also waiting

· Do crossword or word search puzzles

· Some offices will allow you to use cell phones (others won’t, however)

· Read the newspaper

· Write in your journal

· Bring a friend with you to keep you company

Whatever you do, WAITING time does not have to be WASTED time!

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Bipolar? You Can Start Your Day Over Anytime

Hi,

How’s it going today?

I was having a bad day the other day, (I’m sure you can relate, right).

The kind of day where nothing seems to go right?

And I have to admit, I was getting more frustrated and irritated as the day went on.

Well, I went to the store, and at the check-out, the clerk seemed to be as frustrated as me, and that didn’t make things any better. Even my order didn’t go right.

I just gave this long, sort of loud, big sigh. And then I heard this little old lady’s voice behind me in the check-out line say:

“You know, you don’t have to be that way. You can start your day over any time you want to.”

Well, that sure got MY curiosity up!

What could she have been talking about?

I was sure I didn’t know this woman, had never seen her before in my life! So she couldn’t know me, or what was going on in my life, or even why I was so frustrated!

So, of course, HER order went just fine, and she was out of the store quickly, and we kind of caught up in the parking lot, and I asked her what she meant by how I could start my day over any time I wanted to.

She told me that she used to get irritated and frustrated pretty easily.

“In fact,” she said, “I was so full of stress in a line one day, just like you were today, and someone told me those very same words!”

I didn’t want to be rude to her, and at first I really didn’t get what she was saying, but then I thought about it.

The concept is really simple.

Instead of waiting until you’re at your boiling point, after hours of frustration and irritation (and needless stress)…

At the beginning, when you FIRST start to feel that way, you stop yourself, and you simply… right then and there… “start your day over again.”

In other words, you let go of the stress, and all the other negative emotions you’re feeling.

In my courses/systems, I talk about how stress- reduction techniques can be part of a successful treatment program in managing bipolar disorder:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
You can do this as often as you need to.

Whether it’s morning or evening.

Whether it’s twice a day or 10 times a day.

Whether you’re by yourself or in a crowd.

Whether you have bipolar disorder or you’re a supporter to a loved one with the disorder.

We live in a world full of stress.

Any stress reduction technique that will help us manage that stress can only help us.

So the next time you feel irritable, impatient, frustrated, stressed, or any other negative emotion, remember:

“You can start your day over any time you want to!” FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Can Anyone Be A Success With Bipolar Disorder? Shocking story

Hi,

I wanted to write this email really quick before I take off to go to a meeting that takes forever and a day to get to.

Anyway, the other day I sent out an email about a person I was calling the ultimate bipolar success story.

It was about a new resource I have located here:

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/ultimate-bipolar-success-story

The number #1 question that I am getting actually question and comment is around this central theme that either “I can’t be a success because of _______” or “My loved one can’t be a success because of _______.”

Where you see _______ you can insert reasons like my case is different or my loved one is different, we or they have tried it all, I or they have it far worse than everyone else.

You get the idea.

Let me tell you this, I have met so many people that followed the systems that I teach that turned around their entire lives. People who were seriously half dead and nobody thought they would ever amount to anything and now they are a success.

The person in the Ultimate Success Story was one of those types of people. Everyone wanted to just put her away forever. She however climbed up from the bottom and became a success.

If you or your loved one think that you can, I am here to tell you that you ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY can. PERIOD!

No matter what. If you take one thing away, take that away. Anyone can become a success with bipolar no matter what his/her troubles have been in the past, even if the person has had decades of problems.

My mom turned it around after almost 40 years.

I remember when a doctor told me that I shouldn’t get “those people’s” hopes up because they will struggle through life. I said and I quote, “Sir, no disrespect but you are 150% incorrect and what you are saying is destructive. I encourage people to pretend like they didn’t even hear your negativity.”

He got mad. I shocked everyone listening. I am tired of all the nonsense in mental health saying this person has that so he/she can’t be a success. I have proved them all wrong by building a big organization that more than 70% of the people running it have one or more mental illnesses. I proved them wrong and you or your loved one can too. You need to model people like who I call The Ultimate Success.

Anyway, for more information please visit:

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/ultimate-bipolar-success-story

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Using Routines to Manage Bipolar Disorder

Hi,

I hope your day is going well.

You know, many people write to me and tell me how they manage their bipolar disorder.

The ones that manage it the best use systems, or routines.

You can help your loved one by helping them find a routine that works best for them and then helping them stick to it. You can even share some of these routines.

I’ll show you an example:

Bob and Sue are married. He has bipolar disorder, but she doesn’t. However, she does take pills for other things she has.

Every day, they have a routine. When Sue takes her pills, she reminds Bob to take his pills, too.

This helps Bob to be compliant with his medication.

It’s easy for Sue to remember to do this, because she always takes her pills with breakfast.

So there’s another advantage to this routine.

It encourages them both to eat a good, healthy breakfast, and to spend some quality time together each morning.

Here’s another example:

Margaret has bipolar disorder, and her doctor has told her that she needs to exercise as part of her treatment plan. But Margaret hates to exercise.

Margaret’s husband, George, doesn’t have bipolar disorder, but as a good supporter, he agreed to walk with her every evening for an hour to help her manage her disorder.

This has become a routine for them. In my courses/systems below, I talk about how important routines are to management of bipolar disorder, and how to implement them into a system:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
It’s important, as well, that your loved one get the right amount of sleep each night. Going to bed at the same time every night should become a routine for your loved one.

If you add this to your routine as well, it will help them stick to theirs.

Cooking dinner together can be a great way to learn to eat dinner at the same time every night so that dinnertime becomes part of your loved one’s routine as well.

It’s important that your loved one has routines, as these are a way to help keep them stable.

There are many things that they can do by themselves, and those things you should let them do. For example, you wouldn’t want to dress or groom them. If you did, they would see this as babying them.

But other routines, especially those where they need a little encouragement (like sticking to an exercise routine), they may welcome your help with.

Medications are a good example, as it can be difficult sometimes to remember when to take your medications.

Associating taking their medication with another routine is a good way to remember to take them. Such as with their morning coffee. Or when a certain TV show comes on. Or when they normally read the paper.

The best routines are ones you can share with them, as it can bring you closer together.

It will help to remind them that they are not fighting this disorder by themselves.

It will show them what a good supporter you are.

And since you are so close to their normal routines, it will help you to notice when something is not right with them. It may have to do with something upset in one of their routines (for example, they are not getting

enough sleep). In these ways, you can help them to manage their disorder, be healthier in general, and be more stable.

You will also reap the benefits of having a loser relationship with your loved one.

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Good news! Bipolar? What’s the Problem?

Hi,

Hope this day is going well for you.

Well my dad is out of the hospital. His blood pressure is still really high but thinks are looking good. My mom is doing well now as well.

I have had a ton of problems recently. If you read my past few blog posts you know that I have had people have to resign due to PHYSICAL illnesses, my dad, my mom, my friends, etc.

I am going hiking today to relieve SOME of my stress : )

Okay, I was talking to someone the other day, and this person was complaining about her bipolar disorder.

I asked, “What’s the problem?”

She said, “Everything.”

I said, “Do you have alligators in your front yard?”

And she was like, “Huh?”

So I asked again, “Do you have alligators in your front yard?”

She said, “Umm…no. Are you ok?”

I said, “Absolutely. You just said everything was wrong, so I wanted to see if that was one of your problems.”

I asked her numerous questions, all centering around if she had clearly identified her problems and if she was thinking of solutions.

She did not.

So she really had no clearly defined problems.

She was just complaining about everything in general.

Guess what?

If you don’ have clearly defined problems, do you know what happens?

Take a guess, and then scroll down for the answer.

NO CHEATING!

Keep scrolling…

Ok. Here’s the answer:

You will never have a solution to any of your problems.

If you don’t have a clearly defined problem, you can’t have a clearly defined solution.

It’s that simple. Not easy, but simple.

In my courses/systems below, I talk about problem-solving and how to come up with solutions to your problems:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

So, it sounds simple enough, but like I said, it’s not easy.

So let’s tackle this one step at a time.

Obviously, you don’t have alligators in your yard (at least I hope you don’t).

So let’s stick to bipolar disorder.

What if you’re frustrated with your loved one?

Now that’s not a clearly defined problem. That’s just a feeling.

Look at it this way —

Try to get away from feelings, and be more objective.

What’s the REAL problem?

What are you frustrated ABOUT?

Then make a list of the things that frustrate you about your loved one.

For example:

1. He won’t take his medication.

2. He keeps missing his appointments.

3. He won’t go to his support group.

4. He doesn’t listen to me.

5. He thinks I’m an idiot.

6. He doesn’t help around the house.

7. He doesn’t help with the children.

8. He feels sorry for himself.

9. He won’t go to family functions.

10. He sleeps too much.

Now you’ve got something to work with.

You’ve identified some clear problems.

Not all of them are clear problems, though.

So then eliminate those things you can’t do anything about.

Look at your list again.

Look at #5 (“He thinks I’m an idiot.”)

How do you know he thinks that? You’re not a mind reader, you don’t know what he’s thinking. This is a feeling, not a real problem. If it were a clearly defined problem, there would be a solution to it.

So you eliminate #5.

But look at #4 (“He doesn’t listen to me.”)

This is a clearly defined problem, because it indicates a breakdown in communication. Communication is very important in a relationship with your loved one with bipolar disorder.

You may be feeling like they don’t listen to you, but they may feel like they are. Still, it means that you aren’t communicating, and that indicates a problem.

Clearly defined problems have clearly defined solutions.

So once you have found a clearly defined problem, you look for a solution.

What if you were to sit down with your loved one and say that you feel like they don’t listen to what you have to say?

If you clearly define the problem as they are ignoring you, say that.

If you feel like they don’t turn away from the TV when you talk, say that.

If you feel like they don’t respect your thoughts and opinions, say that.

But be very clear about what you think the problem is.

Remember, the more clearly defined the problem, the better the solution.

Now let’s look at #6 (“He won’t help around the house.”)

Clearly defined problem. Solution?

Talk to him about it, suggesting that maybe you can divide up the chores.

Are you getting the idea?

Now here’s a real important one. #1 (“He won’t take his medication.”)

First of all, and this is a real important point, you can’t make someone do something they don’t want to do.

However, you can express your feelings to them, and you can do other things.

You can remind them how important it is for them to take their medication in order to get better.

You can tell them you’ve read the statistics (1 out of 5 unmedicated people with bipolar disorder will kill themselves).

You can tell them that you’re worried about them.

You can tell them that you want them to get better.

You can call their doctor, psychiatrist, and/or therapist and tell them that your loved one isn’t taking their medication.

You see? These are solutions to a clearly defined problem.

Then, go back through your list and look for other clearly defined problems.

So first, you make a list of your problems.

Then you eliminate those things that aren’t clearly defined problems.

Take one clearly defined problem at a time and work on solutions for that problem.

When you leave out feelings and get to a clearly defined problem (that is, you think with your head instead of your emotions)…

You can find real solutions to real problems.

What do you think?

Try this method and let me know how you do with it.

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David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.