Hi,
I hope your day is going well.
You know, many people write to me and tell me how they manage their bipolar disorder.
The ones that manage it the best use systems, or routines.
You can help your loved one by helping them find a routine that works best for them and then helping them stick to it. You can even share some of these routines.
I’ll show you an example:
Bob and Sue are married. He has bipolar disorder, but she doesn’t. However, she does take pills for other things she has.
Every day, they have a routine. When Sue takes her pills, she reminds Bob to take his pills, too.
This helps Bob to be compliant with his medication.
It’s easy for Sue to remember to do this, because she always takes her pills with breakfast.
So there’s another advantage to this routine.
It encourages them both to eat a good, healthy breakfast, and to spend some quality time together each morning.
Here’s another example:
Margaret has bipolar disorder, and her doctor has told her that she needs to exercise as part of her treatment plan. But Margaret hates to exercise.
Margaret’s husband, George, doesn’t have bipolar disorder, but as a good supporter, he agreed to walk with her every evening for an hour to help her manage her disorder.
This has become a routine for them. In my courses/systems below, I talk about how important routines are to management of bipolar disorder, and how to implement them into a system:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
It’s important, as well, that your loved one get the right amount of sleep each night. Going to bed at the same time every night should become a routine for your loved one.
If you add this to your routine as well, it will help them stick to theirs.
Cooking dinner together can be a great way to learn to eat dinner at the same time every night so that dinnertime becomes part of your loved one’s routine as well.
It’s important that your loved one has routines, as these are a way to help keep them stable.
There are many things that they can do by themselves, and those things you should let them do. For example, you wouldn’t want to dress or groom them. If you did, they would see this as babying them.
But other routines, especially those where they need a little encouragement (like sticking to an exercise routine), they may welcome your help with.
Medications are a good example, as it can be difficult sometimes to remember when to take your medications.
Associating taking their medication with another routine is a good way to remember to take them. Such as with their morning coffee. Or when a certain TV show comes on. Or when they normally read the paper.
The best routines are ones you can share with them, as it can bring you closer together.
It will help to remind them that they are not fighting this disorder by themselves.
It will show them what a good supporter you are.
And since you are so close to their normal routines, it will help you to notice when something is not right with them. It may have to do with something upset in one of their routines (for example, they are not getting
enough sleep). In these ways, you can help them to manage their disorder, be healthier in general, and be more stable.
You will also reap the benefits of having a loser relationship with your loved one.
FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials
David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.
Post responses below
Hi David,
It has been about six months. I went to schoool to be a medical assistant. That went well, I am trying to get through exturn. I lost my job awhile back, my house a month ago. I am in this rental, my son had a baby and I love my granson. I lost my medical and had to go off my meds- WTF. 2 weeks ago I got in a fight with my son and hit him over the head with a fring pan and kicked him out not even -he left and with my grandson. Things are begining to unraval at an alarming rate. I am alone and ready to dig some holes and through in a couple of these yapping dogs in them-I need a shovel.
Thanks,
Karen
Hi David,
Sorry, I forgot the most important thing. I always had my books, (your books)-I can not find them I might have to buy more. David- what is the best book or program you have for someone who is alone and had to deal with their sickself.
Thanks,
Karen
Hello Dave,
I have a routine with my meds. I take my morning meds with my coffee in the morning and my nighttime meds before I go to bed. the only thing is that sometimes I forget if I don’t have coffee because I’m so used to taking them together. I would also like to invite everyone to the support groups on MDJUNCTION.COM. they have support groups of everything. Its good to talk to others that feel the same way you do. Thanks Dave for all that you do.
I really do believe in having an routine. AS a person who is living with the bipolar disorder…routine is a MUST.
I know personally how important it is to develop a routine that works both when times are calm and good and when I am in my cycles.
I think it’s also important that one has supporters that will encourage and help me out when I am in a not so good place.
Chaos for me, helps keep me in a cycle. I can’t function under chaos too well. That is when the bipolar disorder rears it’s ugly head.
Taking medications is number one on the list of things I MUST DO everyday. I am thankfully, on just 2 medicines for bipolar disorder. After many years of being on several…have managed to keep things at a working order.
Having a normal routine every day is number two on the the list of things I MUST DO everyday. Developing a plan of action helps me keep things straight and in a certain perspective. When things happens, that throws me off the routine, it is a little nerve racking…but I manage to get back up.
Exercising is number three on the the list of things I MUST DO everyday. Not only does it make me have energy, it gives me an opportunity to be outside in the sunshine for at least 30 minutes. It also gives me a chance to work off any stress or frustrations that has crept up on me.
So yes, I do agree routines are a must and have supporters and friends that will help me out in times of struggles helps out also.
how quick should it take st johns wort to work bearing in mind up to last monday and tuesday i was very very low. i only started taking them on sat 15nov08 and have read that they take up to six weeks to kick in. got up last wed and have been feeling good. and now after after a very broken sleep las nite am wondering are they sending me up, a bit too quick. Its good not wanting to go to bed and good not to feel sad the pains have also gone somewhat. my husband wants my sex drive to come back but i kno thats when i am in trouble. all though i was never unfaithful there was a very close time i could of ruinned my marraige.
Great advice! THANKS!
Thanks for the useful hints for tackling bipolar disorder you are sending me. I am glad I prescribed to this newsletter .It is really helping me to overcome with proper medication and other behavioural changes .
Hi david n thanks your e-mails are proving invaluable to me….I have a question…what do you do if your boyfriend who has just had a massive breakdown n been diagnosed as bipolar….won’t let you help him…he’s too ashamed to look me in the eye n will only correspond through txt or e-mail at the moment…I have read a few stories where this has happened…we have only known each other a few months n we both agreed that we are soulmates…He says he wants to be the hang up n drug free man that i deserve? Although i’ve agreed to not contact him he’s aware that i’m here as n when he needs me……HELP?!!!
I agree that ROUTINES are VERY important. I take my morning meds as soon as I wake up, and my night meds when I go to bed. Living alone – with no supporter – I have had to become regular with this routine.
Yes, I i have “ups” and “downs,” but they are minor. Sometimes, I feel I’m “rapid cycling,” because I go through many “moods” every day. But – I guess that’s normal, even for folks who DON’T have bipolar. I’ve become more aware of these “moods” as I get older, or maybe I’m just more AWARE of them, through reading your emails. This scare me somewhat – perhaps, though, I’m just going through a “phase” with the bipolar, and it won’t last long.
To all who celebrate it – HAPPY THANKSGIVING, and don’t eat too much pumpkin pie!
BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good. I pray for my country.
AMANDA, your boyfriend has just had a big shock being diagnosed with bipolar, having had a breakdown and the meds he has been prescribed are probably at an experimental stage. Bipolar meds take time to have effect and it can take quite a while for the doctors to find the right cocktail of meds for every individual. Your man is probably very confused and shocked right now. He may have low self-esteem and fear of inflicting his problems on you. Hopefully he accepts the help he needs from the health professionals and he may discuss his relationships with his psychiatrist. It is a good sign that he is communicating with you, if only by text and email.
My boyfriend has bipolar disorder. Earlier this year he went into a big manic episode which landed him in the psych ward for 6 weeks. The doctors adjusted his meds and he was ok for a while after being discharged. For the last month or so he has been in a depressive episode. When he is “down” he usually wants to be left alone and the best I can do is to give him space. It’s best to wait for him to get in touch. If I don’t contact him for a couple of days he usually sends me a text or phones me. He feels better occasionally for a day or 2, when he comes to see me and we make plans etc. Then his energy is back and his sense of humour and libido. Then he is down in the abyss again for a week or so and wants to sleep 14 hours a day. During the manic episode he didn’t sleep for 48 hours or more.
To be in a relationship with someone who has bipolar requires love and understanding and a lot of patience. I have learned (and keep learning) a great deal from Dave’s emails and this blog. Sign up for Dave’s “Supporters Mini-Course” which is free and very helpful.
I think, before even establishing the right ‘routine,’ the correct psychiatrist and therapist have to be found. Sometimes, it takes a lot of trial and error to find the ones who are good. So far, within the last six years, I have many therapists and psychiatrists. My life is in constant turmoil and so is my therapy. There is no way to have a routine when I keep having to search for the right professional to help me. I seriously have doubts that I will ever find one who is even close to being worth the paper of the Diploma hanging on his or her wall.
Having a routine is probably good, when it works. My husband decided to go off Prozak this spring and says he won’t go back on. It was definately keeping him melow and calm. Now he can’t sleep. We’ve gone to a doctor who prescribed Melatonin which is a more natural sleep-aid, because we don’t want him to go on prescription sleeping pills. He says these don’t work either. He goes to bed the same time each night, doesn’t have coffee before bedtime and does all the routine things he’s supposed to do that induces sleep, but nothing works. I don’t know where we’ll go from here.
Hi David and Everybody,
Just a quick “Hello!” after being ill these past six months. I hope that your Dad gets well soon and that you lessen the overall stress in your life.
I’ll write again soon. Great to see Nightlady’s still on here.
Take care,
Sue and all the animals in Wales. x
Hi David,
I really appreciate you very much for your continuous informative e-mails you send on Bi-polar disorder.
I like the information you sent on a routine.
I have been living with this Bi-polar disorder for many years, and have denied it and have tried to keep away from the stigmatism it brings, especially in the media, of something negative a Entertainer has done or else a child who acted out and that ended in death.
I have a boyfriend that has been trying to stand by me for many years and tried to get me in a routine of living without taking my medicine.
I have only have had many outbursts that have caused him to leave me alone many times, and have broken off our engagement.
He gave up on me many times, and e-mailed me, but I continue to love him, and seeked him out and have salvaged our relationship.
I am only scared of our next encounter, and I need help because I do not want to loose him for good.
I need two solutions to work on and keep a routine on, and one is yelling at him, and the other is to keep my apt. in order without feeling stuck or paralyzed only watching t.v. and eating junk food.
Thank you so much, keep your e-mails comming.
Sincerely,
concerned about getting along with my boyfriend with bi-ploar disorder,
Ms. Charity Luv
dave i totaly agree i myself am bipolar and my daughter runs my finance,we have a baget and when i go manic i over spend.so im planing aear elseiuotine were i have diffrent things to do during the day on free to.i like to have coffee with a friends on th morring so wev showsen a coffe shop with a good walking distance so there i do my excerse.my only problem was sometimes i used my pay before my daughter had time to get the money out we do this by banking online .so this month i have come up with something new i can spend and extra £30 10 to get credit on my mobil 10 for a nice meal 10 for coffee and treats for pay day i only going to pay 3 things and dont go to main street i will use the back streets instead. after this im suposed to go strat home and call my daughter so she can take all the rest of the money out.in case i dont go straeght home fo some reason like meeting a friend some wear else i have my mobile to phone my daughter and the money will still be taken out in time.she also sends me weekly for food and pety cashmoney.and with a daily routine we know exactly what money is needed and dont waste money because ill know ill be short the next day
My nephew has recently been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. He is only 12 years old and he is always so very edgy and mean. When he talks to his mom he says mean things and he cant stand his little brothers and sister most of the time. But when he comes to my house he is a totally different person. He isnt rude or mean and listens and does what he is told. How can I better understand my nephew and what he is going thru?