Bipolar Disorder? Tell Them This

Hi, how’s it going? Hope you are doing well.

I just received an email from a woman who was not happy. She told me about how she got diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and her struggles dealing with it. Then she told me that her long-term boyfriend said something recently that really offended her. He said, “I don’t think you’re bipolar because you don’t act crazy like some of the people we’ve met who are bipolar.”

Wow. Isn’t that quite a statement? I can see where she would be offended. After all this time that he was supposed to be there through her struggles, and he wasn’t even paying attention. She asked me how she should respond to this. Well, that’s not the easiest thing to answer, but I’ll fill you all in on what I think would be best in a situation like that.

To start off with, address your hurt. Let them know that it hurt you for them to say that, and let them know why. This might sound something like: “I really wish you wouldn’t have just said that to me – it really hurt my feelings. Now I feel like you haven’t been paying attention to all the struggles that I’ve gone through with this.”

Try to use “I statements” whenever you can, because them getting defensive isn’t going to help you get your point across any better. Then, depending on how they react, you can choose your actions from there.

Ideally, they’ll realize that they worded it poorly and let you know that it came out wrong. If that’s the case, then you might have solved the entire problem already. I would suggest still sitting down to talk about what they do see of your struggles, just to make sure you are both on the same page.

If, on the other hand, they continue with their original point, and are not willing to see that they hurt you (or why they hurt you), then you will have to make it more obvious to them. At that point tell them about the struggles that you’ve had, and that you’re working your way through it. Tell them that it’s disappointing that they should be seeing this from the outside.

But then, I want you to realize something. And once you’ve realized this, you can tell them as well. Yes, it’s sad that they are seeing things from the outside looking in, instead of from the inside helping you out. But if they must be on the outside, then at least they see your more “normal” side first. If they aren’t going to know you as well as they should, at least they don’t immediately think that you’re crazy.

It’s hard, because it’s coming from someone who is supposed to be close to you, but if you think about it, that is exactly how you would want an outsider to see you. That means you’re doing something right. Unfortunately, it still means that they’re doing something wrong.

But you can tell them, that while you’re disappointed that they haven’t been as close to your situation as you had thought that they were, at least you are recovering well enough that you don’t appear to be “crazy.” They shouldn’t be able to argue the fact that not looking crazy is a good thing.

So maybe it will help them to see the struggles that you have been going through. If not, you may need to reevaluate your relationship with them. This doesn’t necessarily mean to stop talking to them altogether. But if they aren’t going to be as close to you as you had thought, then you need to be aware of that for the future.

I hope this helps. Any other suggestions?

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Bipolar? Try These Instead

Hi, how’s it going? Hope you are doing well.

There was a girl I knew once who had bipolar disorder. She didn’t have the highest income she could have had, so sometimes it was difficult for her to see a psychiatrist or to get medications. This was especially true since she didn’t have medical insurance.

But she was resourceful. She discovered methods of finding low income psychiatric care and medications that I didn’t even know about at the time. Maybe some of these methods will help you.

If you happen to have a school of psychiatry anywhere near you, or even if you have a school of psychiatry that has a branch in your area, then you can ask if they have a local residency program. This is a program that allows psychiatrists in training to see patients so that they can finish learning. Usually these professionals, albeit still in training, are nearly as knowledgeable and skilled at their work as any practicing psychiatrist. In the meantime, because they are in training, their rates are usually cheaper, or they may even go on a sliding scale.

A sliding scale is something that is important to know about. It is a scale that bases your fees on your income bracket. Each place that has a sliding scale works differently as far as income brackets, requirements, and fees goes. You can ask at your local psychiatrist’s office whether they have the option of a sliding scale, and if so, how their version of it works. After all, it’s not just residency programs that have sliding scales. So it’s worth asking if another place does or not.

Insurance is the most obvious way to get around paying high fees for a psychiatrist. But there are tricks to insurance that you may not have known. Some insurance policies will only allow you to see certain doctors, or may have cheaper co-pays for certain doctors, so you will want to ask your insurance company what their policy is on psychiatric care in specific.

Also, most insurance will not pay for pre-existing conditions until you have been with them for so long. Ask your insurance company if they will cover your condition at all, and if so to what extent.

Sometimes you will find a psychiatrist who functions in a primary care group setting. When you find this, the group may be able to bill your insurance to the primary care group, instead of to the psychiatrist themselves, which will cause it to look different to your insurance company.

You may also find a psychiatrist through a specific program that is free of charge or very cheap, but who will not write prescriptions. In this scenario, you can have him or her recommend a medication and dosage to take to your primary care physician. Most primary care physicians are willing to prescribe psychiatric medications if a psychiatrist has recommended them.

As far as medications go, start off by asking if there is a generic version to the medications you need to take. Generics are usually much less expensive. Also, look for prescription discount programs. Some of these you can find online, if you search for them. Others you can get through a pharmacy, or through your psychiatrist.

Different pharmacies also have different starting prices for their medications. Don’t be afraid to call different pharmacies to “shop around” before you pick one. If you really just cannot afford your medications, then there may be a assistance program through the brand name’s company that will pay for your prescriptions for a certain amount of time. Ask your psychiatrist about this; they will know whether there is one, or at least know how to find out.

You can also find coupons for your medications, or get samples from your psychiatrist. There are many ways of being resourceful when it comes to finding low income psychiatric care and medications. Other options are out there as well, you just have to keep your eyes open for them.

What ways can you be resourceful when it comes to these things?

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Living Your Dreams Despite Bipolar

Hi, how are you doing? I hope all is well for you.

Earlier I met a fairly young woman who had bipolar disorder. She had a tactic to help her cope with daily life that I think we could all use.

She constantly was making decent, if not good, decisions. She always took her medications and went to therapy, even though she had not had an episode in over a year. She was careful that she didn’t spend too much at a time at the store, and made budgets that she forced herself to follow.

She went to bed at the same time every night and woke up to her alarm set for the same time every morning. She exercised and ate well. She went to work, and never missed a day unless she was genuinely sick. She just generally had her life together.

I asked her what her trick was. How was it that she, a person who had a disorder that generally impairs things like this, had her life more together than even the average person? Her answer was a great one.

Are you ready for this?

She told me that she lived today like she wanted to live tomorrow. Wow. Isn’t that a concept we could all use? And it doesn’t even matter if you have bipolar disorder, or if you are a supporter. Either way this is a good trick to learn.

I read a poem once, that said something similar to this. I don’t remember it exactly, but I do remember it’s sense of irony. Basically what it talked about was procrastinating on everything, and “throwing it to tomorrow.” And then, when the person in the poem got to tomorrow, all this stuff was piled up to do, and in order to stay sane, they had to “throw it back down to today.” LOL.

But isn’t this true? In order to stay sane, we have to do the things we want done, and we have to do them today. Otherwise, they may never get done.

Maybe you are one of those people who procrastinates. Or maybe you know someone like that. I’ve heard someone tell me before “I don’t ‘procrastinate;’ I just work better under pressure.” Personally, it sounds like the same thing to me. But maybe that’s just me.

But I think that this lesson is not just about whether or not you procrastinate. I think that there’s more to it than that. I think it’s also about goal setting and prioritizing.

You have to know how you want to live ‘tomorrow’ if you are ever going to get there. That’s where goal setting comes into play. And then, in order to live like that today, or at least as close as is possible, you have to prioritize your life and set the most important things first.

Some things aren’t possible to do all at once, which is fine. But what you can do in those cases is to live like you need to in order to aim for those goals.

What ways do you want to live in order to get to the places you want to be in life? And what ways can you implement them into your daily life?

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Current Bipolar News

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews488/

Here are the news headlines:

Psychiatrist Calls For More Research Into Combination Treatments
DO> Great article, take a look.

Single MRI Scan ‘Could Help Diagnose Bipolar Disorder’
DO> Wow, great potential innovation?

Stop Using Isolation Rooms At School: Bipolar Boy
DO>Hmm. What do you think of this article?

How Litium Treats Bipolar Disorder
DO> Great article.

Carrie Fisher Talks About Addiction and Bipolar
DO> Great article, take a look.

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews488/

>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Bipolar? Another Disorder with an Important Lesson

Hi, how’s it going? Hope you are doing well.

I met a girl once who had a serious medical condition. It was called hypoglycemia. Now, I guess many people have hypoglycemia, but don’t have a severe form of it. See, a person’s blood sugar is supposed to be in the range of 90-120. If a person’s blood sugar goes too high regularly, it’s called diabetes. If a person’s blood sugar never goes high but has a tendency to go low, it’s called hypoglycemia.

Most people who have hypoglycemia end up with blood sugars ranging between 55-70. Generally speaking, if a person’s blood sugar level gets below 50, you are supposed to call an ambulance for them.

This girl had blood sugar that frequently dropped to the 30’s and even 20’s. She even died one time from it, and got brought back to life. She was supposed to be on a special diet to keep this from happening.

According to this diet plan, she was supposed to avoid sugar, including fruits, and eat a balanced diet between protein, whole-grain carbs, and vegetables. The only problem was, she loved sugar. So most of the time she didn’t follow that plan. So her blood sugar kept crashing. Now, this was serious. She could accidently kill herself this way. But she does it anyway, just because she likes the taste of sugar. It really makes me wish she had more self-control.

But then I have to stop and think. How many times do people who have bipolar disorder not follow their recovery plans because they lack self-control? How many times do they go off of their medications just because they don’t feel like taking them anymore? How many times do they spend recklessly just because they felt like it at the time? How many times do they miss their therapy appointments because they don’t feel like talking that day?

Self-control is a hard thing for anyone to learn, and even moreso for a person who has bipolar disorder. But it’s a funny thing, because you can’t just learn it by learning about it or by thinking about it or even by wanting to do it. You have to learn it by doing it. You have to tell yourself, “Okay, I don’t want to do this today, but I have to, so I’m going to do it anyway.” And then you have to actually do it.

There are some things you can use while you are learning self-control that will help the process along some. Take alarm clocks, for example. They tend to help motivate people to start something, be it get out of bed, start a task, or even stop a task that they could otherwise do endlessly.

Another thing you can use is preventative measures. For example, if your lack of self-control is in the area of spending, then prevent yourself from spending by not even taking your money with you to the store.

If your lack of self-control is in the area of taking your medications, then this needs to be taken very seriously. I would suggest combining the two techniques listed above: Use an alarm clock to remind you it is time to take them, and take preventative measures to eliminate any excuse for not taking them (such as making sure that there is a drink nearby so you don’t have to look for one then.)

Just like with this girl I knew, it can sometimes make the difference between life and death. So it needs to be a priority. What can you do to help along your level of self-control that you need to follow your treatment plan?

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Dealing With Bipolar? Discover what this can do

Hi, how’s it going? Hope you are doing well.

As many of you know, I had a change in careers some time back. I used to work at a very different sort of job, before I realized how serious the situation with my mother really was. Then I stopped working at that job and took a lot of time off to study anything and everything about bipolar disorder.

In the end, it paid off. My mother is now experiencing recovery, and I have a new career that I am happy in. In this case, a change in plans was the best thing possible.

Changes in plans can honestly be scary though. You never know if it’s going to be for the best or not. Plus, you had spent that entire time making those other plans, only to change them?? It usually seems like it’s the worst case scenario.

Change is uncomfortable no matter what, but when it threatens what you thought was your future, it can be downright frightening. But sometimes it is for the best. Like, for example, when the plans you had suddenly prove to not be a good thing. They may have sounded like a good thing when you made them, in fact they probably did. But when it’s all said and done, they will do more harm than good.

Sometimes it’s because you just changed your mind. A good example of this is a college student. They get partially through their second year of college, when they have just started to take classes in their field, and they suddenly realize they don’t like that field after all. Well, if they are that early in their college years it will be easy to change their field.

If they are further along it will seem like more time has been wasted. But sometimes, under certain circumstances, that is necessary also. For instance, if someone was going to school for construction, and they suddenly become paralyzed, they might change their major to drafting (making the plans for construction projects.) Since the fields are so similar, it won’t have been wasted time; the time spent in learning construction will actually help them understand the concepts of drafting.

I know of someone who dreamed all their life of this one career, and finally got it. But then they realized that, as much as they loved it, there was no financial security in it. So now they still do it as a hobby, but for a career they have chosen something else.

I’ve heard it said that a change of plans is sometimes the shortest way home. What this means is that sometimes you need to change your plans to get to where you want to go. And if that is true, continuing to try the original plans won’t get you very far.

Now, of course, all of this is for certain circumstances. Not everyone needs to change their plans, and certainly not about everything. You have to use your better judgment to decide that.

But when it does come time to change plans, don’t worry about the time lost. Instead, focus on what you learned during all that time that you can take with you to make your life better, and the lives of those around you.

Now what do you think of that?

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Bipolar Disorder? What About These?

Hi, how’s it going? Hope you are doing well.

I was talking to someone who has bipolar disorder yesterday. He said that he felt “much too old to have made this little progress in life.” Mind you, he’s only in his 20’s. So in some ways, I took it as a joke at first. But then, as the conversation went on, I realized just how serious he was.

Because he was in his mid-twenties already, he was convinced that he should have graduated from college – at least with a bachelor’s degree – by now. He was convinced he should be well on his way to saving up for a house, instead of left unable to save anything due to his bipolar spending habits.

He was convinced that he should have a car, or at least a driver’s license, by now. Well, maybe that last part was true. But then again, everyone is different, so maybe not.

He was talking to me about how he was making goals at this point to do all those things. He wanted to graduate from college with a master’s degree in social work. He wanted to buy a house. He wanted to learn to drive and buy a car – a new car, at that. He wanted to get into a stable relationship with someone and have it last because he knew how to handle relationships. Ultimately, he wanted stability.

And, he told me, he planned on using the techniques that I had taught him for implementing the goals in his daily life. Well, that’s great! All of those goals are good things. And, honestly, I wish him the best.

But I had some advice for him, which fortunately, he took very seriously. I told him that his patterns of thoughts and beliefs had as much to do with meeting his goals as his actions did. Now, when I say beliefs, I’m not necessarily talking about spiritual beliefs. I’m talking about what you believe you can do, and what you believe about the world around you.

I explained to him that thoughts, beliefs, and actions all go hand-in-hand. When you can get your thoughts and your beliefs to line up with your goals, then your actions will follow.

Now, I’m no scientist. I’m not entirely sure why this works. But I have seen it in action, and I know that it does work. If you can convince yourself that you can do something, then you will be much more likely to successfully go through the steps to do it.

Now, this is different from that old phrase, “you can do anything you set your mind to.” The reason it’s different is this: You can set your mind to, say, buying a house. But if you don’t set your mind to saving for a house, it’s never going to happen.

You have to set your thoughts and beliefs towards not just the end product, but also the necessary steps along the way. And you have to set your mind towards persevering no matter what, because you never know what life is going to throw at you next. Then, once your thoughts and beliefs are in the right direction, you have to actually do it. At that point, it shouldn’t be that hard. At least not impossible, anyway.

It’s not too late for him to start working on his goals (no matter how much he feels he should have gotten there already.) It’s never too late for you to start working on yours. Just remember, whatever you set your thoughts and beliefs to you can do, as long as you set your thoughts and beliefs realistically to do the necessary steps along the way as well.

What are your thoughts on that?

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Bipolar? What to do when Life Slams a Door in Your Face

Hi, how’s it going? Hope you are doing well.

I just had to help a friend through a tough time. You see, their closest friend had just died. They had to go to their funeral and speak, and that was very hard on them. They told me something interesting. They said it was like life had slammed a door in their face, and there was no hope in it opening up again.

Well, that’s probably true. Chances are, they will not see their friend again, at least not in this lifetime. But they can “see” their friend in the little things in life. That is to say, they can take the lessons and love their friend taught them, and carry it through life with them.

After all, a closed door usually means that a window has opened. You might be asking, what is that supposed to mean? Well, in her case, it means that her loss is not the end of her life, and she will have other opportunities to befriend someone else. And when she does, she can take with her to that friendship all the things she learned about friendship from this other friend.

In other cases, it can mean something entirely different. It usually means that where one opportunity is lost, another one is gained. For example, if a person loses their job, there might be another employment opportunity that is waiting for them to apply at, and this one might be better than the first.

Or, if a person decides that they no longer want to pursue a career they chose, then there might be another career that they would be very good at. It is just waiting for the first door to close so that they can see the window that had been open!

With bipolar disorder, this can come in the form of some very frustrating events. Say your psychiatrist, therapist, or doctor stops being able to see you. Maybe they retired, or maybe they moved. This may feel like a devastating blow. But it’s possible that there is another professional out there that is better suited to meet your needs. You have to have your eyes open to find them though, and that often does not happen until your current situation ends.

Another way a door can close on someone who has bipolar disorder is when a particular set of medications stops working. This can seem impossible to deal with, but it’s not. It does mean that you should see your psychiatrist as soon as possible, but it’s not the end of the world. Your psychiatrist can change your dose or your medication so that you no longer have the problem.

Sometimes it takes time to find that open window. It may take time for you to find a new psychiatrist, or a new medication that works. But in the end it is usually worth it.

Now, all of this isn’t to say that it’s easy dealing with the closed door. I know it’s hard. Just look at what my friend had to go through. But, what it does mean, is that you can move on with a lesson learned from it, and find a new opportunity to practice your lesson in.

There are very few things in life that are truly unbearable (although a lot of things feel like it at times.) Have you ever had a situation like this? One where a door was closed, and it was hard to figure out what to do from there? Did you find the open window?

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Current Bipolar News

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews487/

Here are the news headlines:

MSU Researcher Identifies Links Between Hypertension, Bipolar disorder
DO> Great article, take a look.

A Local High School Student Overcomes Extreme Odds To Graduate
DO> Wow, this is great.

Mania Increases Risk for Cardiovascular Illness
DO> This is very interesting, take a look.

The Challenges of Treating Youths With Bipolar Disorder
DO> This is so true, don’t you agree?

Mentally Ill Minors Put in Juvenile Hall
DO> Do you think this is right or wrong?

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews487/

==>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Bipolar Supporter? Are You Doing This? Do not.

Hi, how’s it going? Hope you are doing well.

I had a talk with a woman the other day. We were at an event, and she pulled me aside and asked if I knew about bipolar disorder. I chuckled a little, and said yes. So she proceeded to tell me about her brother-figure who has the disorder, and who is causing her a lot of problems.

She claimed he was compliant with his medications, but from the way she described his actions, I think he may not have been on the right medications for him. She told me how he would have outbursts of anger towards her, and treat her like she was a scapegoat. And she told me how his life actions were not making sense, and how he still behaved in ways that weren’t what they should have been.

Then she told me something interesting. She said that all she wanted to do was help, but that he was taking so much out of her when she tried to help that she felt like she needed to break all contact with him.

Does this sound familiar to any of you? Based off that, I immediately knew two things about this relationship. I knew she was enabling him. And I knew that she didn’t have the personal boundaries set up that she needed to have.

In case you didn’t already know, there is a big difference between helping someone and enabling them. When you help someone, you do things that are limited. These are things that might be inconvenient for them to do themselves, but that aren’t necessary for them to develop coping skills or other skills and values.

These are also things that don’t take away from you taking care of yourself. A slight inconvenience on your part isn’t a big deal, every once in a while. But if it starts draining you of your energy, then you know you’ve taken it too far.

It’s like driving down a street looking for a house, and the person you are going to meet has told you that if you come to Robinson Street, you have gone too far. Well, you are driving through your relationship with them, so to speak, looking for a good balance. If you reach the point of exasperation, then you have gone too far. Turn the beepers on, it’s time to back up. LOL.

Enabling looks entirely different. When you enable them, you do things for them that they should have done for themselves. These are things that they needed to do to teach them valuable lessons and skills, and unknowingly you have taken that away from them in your desire to help. In the long run, enabling doesn’t help either of you.

So what does helping or enabling really look like? Well, in everyday life, helping would be noticing that the grocery store is hiring and telling your friend who is job hunting. Enabling would be picking up the application and filling it out for them. Believe it or not, I’ve known people to do this!

In the world of a bipolar supporter, helping might look like finding them a psychiatrist to go to. Enabling might look like setting up the appointment and going with them, if this is something they are capable of doing on their own.

Now that brings up an interesting point. If they are the sort that they are not capable of doing that on their own, then helping them out with it would be okay. Enabling will look a little different in every situation.

Enabling might look like reminding them to take their medications if they often forget, but helping would look more like helping them set up an alarm system that they can use to remind themselves. Once again, this depends on the situation.

It also depends on how much the supporter would have to go out of their way to do it. If you ever “have” to do something that makes you uncomfortable or drains you of your energy to deal with your own life, then don’t do it! Chances are, this is something that they need to learn how to do themselves, anyway. And if it is simply beyond their means, then try referring them to someone else who is more equipped to help them, instead of helping them yourself.

What are your thoughts on this?

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave