Bipolar? What to do when Life Slams a Door in Your Face

Hi, how’s it going? Hope you are doing well.

I just had to help a friend through a tough time. You see, their closest friend had just died. They had to go to their funeral and speak, and that was very hard on them. They told me something interesting. They said it was like life had slammed a door in their face, and there was no hope in it opening up again.

Well, that’s probably true. Chances are, they will not see their friend again, at least not in this lifetime. But they can “see” their friend in the little things in life. That is to say, they can take the lessons and love their friend taught them, and carry it through life with them.

After all, a closed door usually means that a window has opened. You might be asking, what is that supposed to mean? Well, in her case, it means that her loss is not the end of her life, and she will have other opportunities to befriend someone else. And when she does, she can take with her to that friendship all the things she learned about friendship from this other friend.

In other cases, it can mean something entirely different. It usually means that where one opportunity is lost, another one is gained. For example, if a person loses their job, there might be another employment opportunity that is waiting for them to apply at, and this one might be better than the first.

Or, if a person decides that they no longer want to pursue a career they chose, then there might be another career that they would be very good at. It is just waiting for the first door to close so that they can see the window that had been open!

With bipolar disorder, this can come in the form of some very frustrating events. Say your psychiatrist, therapist, or doctor stops being able to see you. Maybe they retired, or maybe they moved. This may feel like a devastating blow. But it’s possible that there is another professional out there that is better suited to meet your needs. You have to have your eyes open to find them though, and that often does not happen until your current situation ends.

Another way a door can close on someone who has bipolar disorder is when a particular set of medications stops working. This can seem impossible to deal with, but it’s not. It does mean that you should see your psychiatrist as soon as possible, but it’s not the end of the world. Your psychiatrist can change your dose or your medication so that you no longer have the problem.

Sometimes it takes time to find that open window. It may take time for you to find a new psychiatrist, or a new medication that works. But in the end it is usually worth it.

Now, all of this isn’t to say that it’s easy dealing with the closed door. I know it’s hard. Just look at what my friend had to go through. But, what it does mean, is that you can move on with a lesson learned from it, and find a new opportunity to practice your lesson in.

There are very few things in life that are truly unbearable (although a lot of things feel like it at times.) Have you ever had a situation like this? One where a door was closed, and it was hard to figure out what to do from there? Did you find the open window?

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

  1. I really do agree with what you said. We must go on after something awful has happened in our life. We cant give up. If we really want to make it we will. The little things that happens to us is for us to grow and to realize how precious things are for us.

  2. i changed insurence and i had to find a new psychiatrist to get my medications but i look around and found a good dr

  3. It has been almost three years since my sister died yet everything is “stuck” around that date. I feel as if the ‘window’ has slammed on my fingers. Through extremely unadvised revolts concerning my daily meds and an increasingly mounting anxiety as the ‘date’ approaches, I KNOW I must wait again for an opportunity for that window to become ‘un=stuck’…..it has been the most trying time of my life

  4. i want your free dvd but everytime i click on the state /province thing it don,t work it just says select ,so i put the state i,m in next to the town i live in ,please get back to me so i can get the dvd ,i have a child who is almost 20 and it, sdiffucult for me to deal with her i saw your email and i would l9ike to help her in anyway ,and my self to understand

  5. my boyfriend and son is missing,its been 2 weeks since i heard from them.if thats not a closed door…….what is?All i can do is wait.

  6. thank you so much. Have had two emotional eposodes in this month alone. I’m very embarrased !. Just so frightening to be /feel out of controll and not have people understand what they arew seeing. Also people don’t listen to me and do not carry thru on a personal plan I have ask them to do and they volunteered for it also. So good to have some one understand. thanks. Mary

  7. Thank you Dave you always seem to come up with a life situation we are all dealing with. I had recently went back with the man I had been living with for 10 years.We had seperated for about a year but still talked and I guess you could say dated in this year. We had been through alot together good and bad I will spare you the details. We are both alcoholics and I have bipolar he just did not want to know about it I guess that should have been my red flag. I am on medication and seeing a therapist on a regular basis no alcohol but he started drinking and then would stop We started fighting I had alot of anger he was becoming more controlling I made the decsion a bad one I drank a fight he called me filthy names I slapped him he told me to leave I did not want to drive after drinking so he called the police and had me arrested for Domestic Violence. 3 days in jail 1 year of classes and probation and now bankruptcy and homeless he has a restraining order and all the things I bought for the house and will not give them to me. I pray for another door to open. Thanks for listening

  8. Thanks for the Open door ideas. You were meant to be there at your friend’s time of need. It was because of it I am now reminded for what I have to do, get myself out of this rut.

  9. Dave, your information is so valuable – I wish it had been available when I was having my bipolar episodes! By the time “Moodswings” was published, I had suffered about five episodes. I was subjected to electroshock therapy when I was seventeen, and was hospitalized four times by the time I was 31. Thank God I found the woman who became my second wife! She was an experienced nurse who’d not only worked in a psych ward but was bipolar herself. I credit the right medications and her love for me for my recovery. Now I am a Certified Peer Support Specialist, trained to help others reach recovery. You are probably aware of this program, which has been around in various forms since the ’30s. It would be really great if you could do some articles on the value of peer support! Russ Jones

  10. “Sometimes it takes time to find that open window. It may take time for you to find a new psychiatrist, or a new medication that works. But in the end it is usually worth it”…See????? IT TAKES TIME!!! I FOUND THIS WONDERFUL OPPORTUNITY FROM AN ARTICLE YOU WROTE IN JUNE 2010

    you asked have you ever had a situation similar to losing a friend to death and how do you move from there

    it’s like mourning the old “boy” friend and adjusting and allowing yourself permission to do it all again with someone new – you take the GOOD MEMORIES AND EXPERIENCES INTO THE NEW RELATIONSHIP – REMEMBER “IT TAKE TIME”

  11. Outstanding piece of writing about Bipolar! I assume that this post carry few things in life that are truly unbearable. Thanks 🙂

  12. That’s a good point!!! Many of my friends subscribe to reading your articles and I could see why they liken you to a Messiah somewhat – some have even called your name out in their environment to reassure themselves of this belief. And i’m like Good For you if anyone sees you as a Messiah!!! That’s HUGE!!!

    I think I’m acquainted with Mood Swings and Anxiety occasionally but i think this is brought on by uncertainty of love — Bipolar really sounds like a serious disorder and fortunately I dont’ know anyone who really has that but some of the symptoms are close to a moody person……

    Kudos to you if anyone calls you their messiah – Lord knows we all need that especially these days!!! lol! Have a wonderful day!

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