Hi,
How’s it going?
Happy Thanksgiving if you celebrate it. If you don’t know what Thanksgiving is, type it into google.com and learn about it.
Don’t laugh we now have tens of thousands of international readers that might not know what the holiday is.
Anyway, I have to get ready to do some cardio outside and then head over to my parents house later on after I do some work. YES, I have to work on Thanksgiving. I have a lot of great projects I am working on that you are going to like.
Okay, I was talking to a woman the other day who was telling me she had just been in a bipolar episode.
I told her, “I’m sorry to hear that.”
She said, “Don’t be sorry. With every episode I have, I learn, and I prevent the same thing from happening the next time, and it gets easier to handle episodes.”
I thought, what a great attitude!
And then I thought about the truth in what she said – About how she learned from each episode.
Think back to when you were a kid… You had to crawl before you could learn to walk, right?
And you couldn’t learn to read before you learned your ABC’s.
Now think back to when you were a little older and got a little popular, but you had to do it by making one friend at a time, didn’t you?
And in high school, you didn’t get your diploma overnight, did you?
Each lesson built on the one before it.
Each grade built on the grade before that.
Then later you got married (if you are).
You didn’t instantly know how to be a good husband or wife.
You had learned it from all the relationships you had before you got married.
You learned what to do and what not to do.
Now think of your life lessons…
Your choices and decisions…
Your mistakes and failures…
And how each success, each accomplishment, everything you’ve gotten, was based on all of that.
If you’d never failed, you wouldn’t have learned how to succeed.
If you hadn’t made bad choices, you wouldn’t learned how to make good ones.
Now think of what that woman said to me the other day about her episodes, and how she learned from them.
In my courses/systems, when I talk about episodes, I tell you that you have to take responsibility for what happens during those episodes.
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That’s exactly what this woman was saying.
She not only took responsibility, but she used the experience as an opportunity to learn and to grow.
To turn failure into success.
To turn bad choices into good ones.
To not make the same mistakes again.
“To prevent the same thing from happening the next time,” is the way she put it.
And she had a positive attitude about the whole experience, that’s what I admire the most.
We can all learn a lot from the things this woman said.
I’m not saying that going through episodes (or life) is easy.
But if each time you learn something from them, like she said, “it gets easier to handle episodes.”
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Post responses below
Happy Thanksgiving to you.
Have a great day.
Also hope your dad and mom are doing a lot better and also the best of the holidays to them.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL.
We don’t celebrate it here in Ireland but hope everyone that does celebrate has a very happy day. Enjoy !!!!!!!!!!
God Bless Amanda
Hi Dave,
Yes that young lady has learned something so very true. 14 years ago I didn’t know what an episode was, or that I was having them. All I knew was I was suicidal and would spend all my money as soon as I got it, : ) I had no idea what bipolar was or that I had it. Over then next 8 years I learned and learned and learned. Now I have been stable for 4 going on 5 years and I always have something to learn. I stay on top of the bipolar ball, so just to give people hope, bipolar is manageable. I have episodes now and then and when they come, I know what is going on. I know my perspective is distorted. Just a matter of a few months ago, I became suicidal. I felt suicidal, I had suicidal thoughts, but knew inside me I had no reason to be that way, to feel that way and that it was not something I wanted to do! I cried and cried, but it was over in about an hour. Now that is success to me! I had an episode, I felt bad, but I didn’t “ACT” on those feelings, and they subsided.
Now when I am manic, I want to spend all my money, I put it off and put it off, I found that being grateful is a key to managing my bipolar. I used to complain about every little thing. And I was always in a bad mood. Now I am grateful and that is one lesson I learned the hard way, but we always have more to be grateful for than to complain about, ALWAYS! If I stub my toe, I may feel uncomfortable and even say, dang it! But then I realize at least I CAN walk to stub my toe! Or if I bump my head getting up, at least I can get up to bump my head! This attitude of gratitude keeps my episodes at bay most of the time. Along with the right medication and seeing my psychologist. I learned how to beat bipolar at its game. And it is not by complaining, it is by staying grateful.
I stay grateful for what I have when I want more things, and when I am depressed, or feel depressed, I remind myself how blessed we all are in this country. It just doesn’t last, the depression nor the mania. I have learned to ride the storms out and I always am even more grateful once I have come through them. I had to learn a lot to do this, but it works for me!
I’m so grateful for you and your work Dave, words cannot describe how much I have learned since finding your site and information on systems!
May Gob Bless you Richly this time of year and always Dave,
Bob
Happy Thanksgiving!
Yes with every episode the beast gets found out more and more. The more I know the better plan I can make, My beast is slick.
Thanks David,
Karen
You have to remember that the experiences one person may have with BP are not necessarily the same that others will have: It can differ in terms of severity and in symptoms. The lady you spoke with, David, is evidently able to identify the things that triggered an episode and learn to avoid them in the future. You have to be able to identify the triggers, and the triggers have to be obvious so they can be identified. Sadly, it ain’t always like that! Sure, there are things that can trigger a mood swing for me, but there are times that it will swing anyway! And then there are times when something things don’t trigger them and others when the same thing does! In these circumstances it is difficult to know what I can, or cannot, do to avoid triggering an episode. To give you an example, one day I may find that if I become enthusiastic about imparting some information to someone I can be come tearful. That’s not normal and it isn’t pleasant to experience. Thereafter follows a depression. There was no advanced warning this will happen. It just does. On another day, I might be speaking inb the same way, maybe even communicating the same information and nothing happens. I don’t for a moment think I am the only person with BP who experiences this (am I?!) but it most certainly not something that appears to be a common occurrence.
That said, the general principle has to be right: As the adage goes, “Every cloud has a silver lining,” and that is right. They do. There is generally something good that comes from the bad experiences. Or, as my Dad used to say, when you are being rolled around in the dirt, look out for, and grasp the specs of gold.
You are not the only one, I know some triggers, other times I will snap and usually I will hurt someone and I do not mean their feelings. My beast would take someones life, I havent been suicidal since 11. My beast has done horrible things to others before I knew there was a beast. Yes I am much better since Davids website and education. Experience is what you get when you dont get what you want.
Take care everyone enjoy the day,
Karen
Happy Thanksgiving David,
Thanks for your wonderful e-mails, I sure do enjoy
them and look forward to them each day.
God Bless you for all you do to help people.
God has given you a Special Gift.
Have a great and wonderful day.
Sincerely, Darlene
Thanksgiving is the most difficult time of the year for me. It is when I am the most sad and miserable. For the last six years, I have a suicide attempt on Thanksgiving, without fail. I spend the week following in the psychiatric hospital, trying to understand what ‘triggered’ me into another suicidal episode.
I know what causes me to feel the way I do. I lost my only supporter six years ago, who was also my dad. Thanksgiving used to be a very meaningful holiday for us. Our families have gone different ways. Our friends of many years have pased away. The current friends have their own large families and don’t really think of inviting those of us who are alone. Our ‘extended’ family is mean and condescending. They say rude comments intentionally to make me feel uncomfortable. Actually, they don’t care what they say and hope I leave early. They don’t want me there and expect that I will decline their invitation, which I have done this year.
I don’t feel good about any of this. I hate being alone. I hate feeling sad and isolated. I hate not being with people who care. I hate being unhappy, depressed and suicidal. I want to scream out to the world for help, but no one is really listening.
happy Thanksgiving.
david i just found out that i have manic/anxiety/schizophrania so could you send me any info.
Tried them all
We cannot hold your hand or hug you, and we cannot take away your pain. But we are listening and many of us also know what it’s like to feel alone, sad, isolated, depressed and wishing that life would end. So, you are not really alone, just that it feels like it.
FOR TRIED THEM ALL, You are on my mind all day and my prayers are for you today. Its horrible to been on your own but i can understand why you didnt accept any invites. coz although i have family around me most of them dont understand what its like, some of my family dont talk to each other.
I also know you can feel lonely in a crowd even if they are family. I had my very bad time a few weeks back. It was the 8th nov and 5 years ago my daughter who was 5 at the time was nearly killed i saw it happening before my very eyes and couldnt do anything to stop it. she was hit with a motorbike. I didnt think 5 years on it would still have such a bad affect on me it does.
I dont know, maybe think back to what your dad might been saying to you right now if he was here with you. I dont know what you believe in but i believe your dad is looking after you from up above.
I hope these few words bring a tiny bit of comfort, I cant tell you anything that will make everything alright coz i’m still trying to that for myself and if i ever get that answer i will let you know.
Hold tight in there
God Bless. Amanda
To TRIED THEM ALL: By now, you MUST know there are a LOT of us here on Dave’s Supporter blog that care and love you. We have ALL felt isolated, alone, sad, depressed, and some of us, even suicidal; but – we go on, not only for ourselves, but for the SELF we are MEANT to be if we just LIVE another day.
I’m proud of you that you have not acted on your suicidal tendencies today; that’s a step FORWARD. I am sorry there is no one who can share your burden, and celebrate Thanksgiving with. But – as said before, there are a LOT of us alone on the Holidays, and somehow, we manage. It may NOT be the way we WANT it to be – but, we learn how to COPE with it, so it won’t hurt so bad the next time.
Like Graham says – I don’t KNOW what my triggers are, except I just, somehow, start feeling my problems are manageable, I feel GREAT, and I start expouding my religion on anyone who’ll listen. When these times come, I attribute my “good fortune” to GOD, and then the delusions come. I don’t know if it’s the chemical imbalance in my brain, or what, but I haven’t been hospitalized for full blown mania in 31 years! I guess it’s the wonderful “cocktail” of meds that are keeping me stable, as well as following Dave’s treatment plan and staying in contact with my mental health professionals. When I start to become hypomanic, it just feels so WONDERFUL; my words flow, my thoughts are creative, everything is more clear. OH, how I WISH they were REAL!!
HAPPY THANKSGIVING, Dave – I hope you had a blessed one, and didn’t eat toooo much turkey with sides!! And this goes to EVERYONE else on this blog, whether you’re American or not – this is ONE day EVERYONE should feel grateful for their many blessings.
BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good. I pray for my country – and for you, TRIED THEM ALL. I will be watching for you to post TOMORROW!!
Tried them all… You know that many people in here care about you. Hugs to you! how old are you buddy? I would like to know if I am hugging a “son” or someone my husband would be jealous of! I know the holidays are depressing when alone, but hun, you are not alone! I am in Canada so today is just Thursday….. maybe that is what you need to think about? It’s just another day of the week? I know the ads on TV for your thanksgiving make me think I would want to live there. They make such a big deal about family time. TV isn’t real. I am sending hugs your way, and hope that you are doing ok.
Happy thanksgiving to my american friends!
Diane
This is a wonderful lesson that we all should learn and use, ot just with those who have bipolar episodes or those people who are friends or loved ones and support them , but this is a lesson we all hsould use in our everyday lives and especially when something happens to us. We all need to learn from life’s lessons and be positive and turn failures into success, and learn not to repeat mistakes. This is a very good lesson for everyone. I also hope that everyone has a very “Happy Thanksgiving”.
Diane, Graham, Suzanne & Amanda; Thanks for your kind words. I made it through the day! You’re so riht…it is just another day. So much emphasis is put on the holiday and ‘family’ that it makes it difficult for those without close family and friends. So, thank you for your friendship and warm thoughts.
So true you have to take the good and the bad and make them a positive. It helps when you mess up and learn what works and what does not so you repeat the same thing over and over again. Like how many times do you go off your meds before you learn you cannot go off your meds.
Have a friend who needs a lot of support right now and your emails are helping me help her get hrough her mini crisis.
Enjoy your emails very much Dave!
I have to agree with the many of you who have said, how wonderful it is that she can recognize what triggers her manic episodes.
I have been bipolar as far back as I can remember (age 13)–I am 35 now.
I cry as I write this, honest to God, I could not even tell you what starts an episode for me, or why I go into a period of days or even weeks where I am withdrawn b/c I am afraid of having an episode. When I had my first panic attack 3 years ago, the drs. all askedme, everyone asked me, what happened right before you felt that way, what “triggered” it…..I said “nothing”, b/c absolutely nothing was abnormal before my panic attacks. Now, my panic attacks have subsided, praise the Lord, but I feel like I am not making any progress with this devil disease.
My Psychiatrist continues to medicate me, I am on 5 different medications, all different doses, I swallow so many pills, I gag them up sometimes.
I am sick of pills.
Okay, I dont mean to get carried away, but perhaps the lady you spoke of is not in as bad a state as some of us. Perhaps she is only part bipolar. I dont know but if I knew what triggered my mania, I would certainly do something about it, as Im sure would all the persons who wrote similar to my experience.
We cannot all be put into the same little box labeled “BIPOLAR”.
We each experience our own manias, our own pieces of hell, our states of hopelessness. In essence, we are all different, as the old adage says, and it applies in this case very nicely.
Thank you for listenting.