Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews590/

Here are the news headlines:

Pathophysiologic Differences Evident Between Schizophrenia, Bipolar
DO> Great article, take a look.

Police Better Equipped To Handle Behavioral Health Problems
DO> They sure better be, don’t you think?

Time To Talk Straight About Mental Illness, Says Advocate
DO> Of course it is, this isn’t new is it?

Memory Generalization Impaired In Psychosis Disorders
DO> Do you think so?

Reproductive Stage Progression Linked To Worsening Bipolar Disorder
DO> Wow, very interesting, take a look.

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews590/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

Today I want to talk to people who have bipolar disorder themselves, so you might want to show this email to your loved one. Especially if they aren’t doing as well as you might like them to be doing. You can look at this as sort of a bipolar report card, if you will. Remember when you were in school, and you got a report card periodically as sort of a checkup to see how well you were doing in school? Well, this is sort of like that.

The first thing we want to check up on is: Are you taking your medications? Too many people with bipolar disorder will stop taking their medications after they start feeling better, because they don’t feel that they need it any more. That’s very dangerous, because they don’t realize

that it’s the medication itself that’s making them feel better in the first place! And stopping the medication is one of the surest ways to go straight into a bipolar episode! Then you have to start all over with your medication anyway. So it’s better just to stay on your medication and keep taking it.

Next, are you keeping your appointments with your psychiatrist and therapist? That’s very important as well. Your psychiatrist and therapist should be part of your support system. Your psychiatrist should be the one who is helping to manage your medications. And your therapist should be helping you to cope and deal with the daily issues surrounding your bipolar disorder.

Also…How are you sleeping? You should be sticking to a regular sleep schedule, sleeping 8-9 uninterrupted hours every night, going to bed at the same time and waking up at the same time.

What about your diet? You should be eating a healthy, nutritious diet, and not a lot of junk food, caffeine, and sugar. Are you exercising? I’m not saying you have to join a gym or anything (although some people do), but you should at least be walking 3-4 days a week. Exercise releases endorphins, which naturally make you feel good, and will keep away depression. You should also have a daily routine, which includes some kind of job or volunteer work. You need to be productive and stay busy, as that will help you to feel good about yourself. Even if you can’t work full-time, you might be able to work part-time, volunteer, or work at home, or start your own business. You should also do things just for pleasure, things that you enjoy. This could include projects that you can do. You should also have hobbies, things that you’re good at. And these would be things that you enjoy as well. You need to have fun as well. Do things that make you happy, as this, too, will keep you from getting depressed. Spend time with other people, with friends and family. They should be part of your support system as well. But this will also make you feel good.

You might also want to attend a bipolar support group, which would not only get you out around other people, but other people who have bipolar disorder, like you. Are you still watching yourself for patterns, mood swings, triggers, signs and symptoms of a bipolar episode? Although you may be stable, you must still be vigilant and be on guard for these.

Well, how did you do with your bipolar report card?

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

I know that there are a lot of bad days that come with being a supporter to a loved one with bipolar disorder. I know, because I went through it myself, when I was helping my mom. It seemed at times like there were many more bad days than good. And you know what? Sometimes I just wanted to give up. I really did. Yeah, me. The guy who never gives up on anything. It was just so discouraging, you know? There was so much that I tried with my mom that didn’t work. And it was just really, really frustrating. But you know what kept me going?

It wasn’t just the fact that I loved her. I mean, I did, I really did. But I didn’t want to let her down. Her doctor had already let her down. And my dad had let her down. And my brother had let her down. So I just couldn’t let her down too. I had to keep going.

But the thing was…Sometimes I was very discouraged, as I can imagine you might be with trying to help your loved one. Some people think it’s an easy thing to be a supporter to a loved one with bipolar disorder just because you love them…But we know that it just isn’t that easy.

For every one thing you try that works, there were several things you tried that didn’t work.

But the main thing is…You can never give up trying.

If you feel like you’re alone, you’re not. I got this email recently:

“Dave,

Thank you so much for your emails. They really help me. It’s so hard to deal with my sister sometimes. I mean I try to be a good sister but sometimes she’s just so hard to deal with because of her bipolar. She does such crazy things sometimes some even dangerous things some things that I could even hate her for like calling me names and saying really hurtful things to me. But I always forgive her. Cuz I can’t give up on her. Everyone else has so I just can’t. Even tho she makes it so hard I just can’t. I think sometimes of you and your mom. I mean you never

gave up on her and look where she is now ya know? I keep hoping that one day my sister will just snap out of it and be better like your mom is but some days I just get so discouraged and frustrated and like I said I want to give up. Will she ever get better? How do I keep from giving

up when I feel like that? Thanks, Nancy.”

——————————————————————————————————————-

Wow. You know what I would say to Nancy (and to you if you’re feeling discouraged)? Never give up hope. I know it sounds easier said than done. Still…You’ve got to hang on. It may be easier for me to say, since I’ve seen so many success stories. But I’ve seen some of the worst cases of bipolar disorder turn around and become success stories! So that’s how I can tell you:

Never give up hope. Yours could be a success story someday. That answer could be right around the corner. If you just don’t give up trying.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

Have you ever wondered…When there are two people…Who come from basically the same background…How they can turn out so totally different? I have. I mean…I’ve wondered about it as it relates to mental illness, especially bipolar disorder. Because bipolar disorder does tend to run in families. So you can kind of look at how it affects each member so differently.

Here’s a case in point. I want to tell you about two people, and you’ll be able to see what I mean.

CASE STUDY #1:

George had bipolar disorder. So did his mother. But she had learned how to manage her disorder, so she was basically stable for most of George’s life. George learned from her how to manage his bipolar disorder, so he had a relatively stable life, too, despite the fact that he had bipolar disorder. Even when he did go into bipolar episodes, because he had such a good support system, they were able to catch the episodes quickly so he didn’t suffer much.

CASE STUDY #2:

Linda had bipolar disorder. So did her mother. But she had learned how to manage her disorder, so she was basically stable for most of Linda’s life. Linda should have learned from her how to manage her bipolar disorder, but for some reason, she wouldn’t. She kept on doing things her own way. Because of this, she kept on going off her medication. So she kept on going in and out of bipolar episodes all her life. She had no support system, even though her mother tried to help her. So did other people, but she just kept pushing them away. Her life was a wreck.

———————————————————————————————————————

Here were two people, with basically the same background, who both had bipolar disorder, who both had a mother with bipolar disorder, whose lives turned out totally different. What was the difference?

There are things you have to do when you have bipolar disorder if you want to stay stable. Like take your medication. And there are also other things you can do for yourself that can help you stay stable as well, like the things that I talk about that are in my Bipolar Stability Equation.

Things like: Having a good, strong support system. You need to have a group of people to whom you are accountable. These people don’t just care about you, but they can help you by telling you when you’re showing symptoms of a bipolar episode. They can also help you get the help you need when you need it.

You also need to keep your appointments with your medical and mental health professionals. That’s your responsibility. That’s being treatment compliant. You also need to keep a good sleep schedule, going to sleep at the same time every night and waking up at the same time every morning, and getting 8-9 hours of uninterrupted sleep every night.

Eating a good, healthy diet is also very important, and something you can control. You also need to stay away from alcohol and drugs. If you don’t, you’ll have an even worse problem than

just trying to battle your bipolar disorder.

Also, watch your triggers and symptoms. By doing so, you’ll be able to tell when you’re headed

for a bipolar episode and you can avoid it. Doing these things will help you to stay stable with

your bipolar disorder and to help you stay out of bipolar episodes.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews589/

Here are the news headlines:

Premature Babies May Have Increased Risk Of Psychosis
DO> Wow, isn’t this odd?

Factors Linked To Relapse Risk In Bipolar Disorder Identified
DO> Take a look, interesting article

There IS A Link Between Genius And Madness
DO> Do you think there is a link?

Anxiety Linked To Impulsivity In Depression
DO> Interesting article, take a look.

Confronting Mental Illness: No Easy Answers
DO> There aren’t don’t you agree?

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews589/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all
aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

You know, if you keep things inside and let them build up, that’s not a good thing for you. If you hold everything in, letting it build up, it can even make you physically ill, if not even emotionally ill as well. For example, it can lead to stress, which can lead to ulcers and sometimes you can even get migraine headaches. It can affect your sleep as well, leading to problems with getting to sleep, insomnia, and staying asleep once you get to sleep. It can lead to a lowering of your immune system, which can lead to all kinds of things, such as infections and colds. All because you’re hold things in. So you have to find a way to release your emotions, so this doesn’t happen to you. Call it “having your say ” with bipolar disorder. In other words, you need to learn how to communicate with your loved one who has bipolar disorder. It’s a necessity.

Unfortunately, too many supporters don’t do this, and end up sick, like I was talking about before. Why? Because they’re afraid. That’s why they end up walking around on eggshells around their loved one. They’re afraid of saying or doing something wrong and “setting off” their loved one. Then their loved one might get angry and turn on them in a rage and do all sorts of things, yelling and screaming at them, calling them names, etc. And you have all kinds of feelings because of these acting out behaviors, in addition to the feelings you may normally have. It’s a lot to carry around inside you. You need to let it out. How? By talking with your loved one. Oh, not when they are in an episode or raging, of course. But choose a time when they aren’t raging or in a manic episode, when they are in a normal period, and are more willing to listen to you. Try to catch them in a good mood, in other words. Tell them that you need to talk with them about something that is important to you. That should give them some indication, at least that it’s important to you. That will make them pay attention, at least. Try to be gentle and non-threatening, so they aren’t defensive, as this could lead to a fight, which is what you don’t want to happen.

Use “I” sentences instead of “you” sentences. In other words, stick to “I feel” instead of “You always” or “You never,” which come off as accusing them, making them get defensive. If you stick to “I feel” (followed by a feeling word, and not the words “that you” which again, is accusatory) you can most likely avoid a fight and get your feelings across to your loved one.

Another way to couch your feelings is in a framework of “When you… then I…” For example, “When you call me names, then I feel hurt.” You are telling your loved one that, as a result of

something they do, you feel a negative feeling, but you are saying it in a way that doesn’t come

off as threatening, so they are less likely to become defensive and get mad at you.

There are ways to have your say with bipolar disorder so that you don’t have to make yourself sick by keeping everything inside all the time – You just have to do it in a certain way. Like doing it in a way that doesn’t threaten your loved one or make them get angry at you.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

I heard a story the other day, about an old man. No matter what was said to this old man, he always responded with: “There’s nothing new under the sun.” Someone said to him: “Look at that mountain, isn’t it huge? Have you ever seen a mountain that huge before?” And he said:

“There’s nothing new under the sun.” Another person said: “Look at that ocean, isn’t it vast? Have you ever seen a body of water that vast before?” And he said: “There’s nothing new under the sun.” A woman said to him: “Look at my newborn baby. Have you ever seen anything more beautiful than a newborn baby?” And the old man replied: “There’s nothing new under the sun.”

The old man never went anywhere new, never met anyone new, never tried anything new, because he always believed “There’s nothing new under the sun.” He died alone, an empty, lonely old man.

The point of this story is that you can’t have this attitude when you’re dealing with a loved one with bipolar disorder. Like I’m always saying, there are many things you can do to help your loved one with bipolar disorder. And you just can’t give up, believing “There’s nothing new under the sun.” To me that just signifies a defeatist attitude. And you need to have a more positive attitude. You have to believe that your loved one is going to get better, and never give up on that. No matter how bad things seem sometimes. And I know from my own experience…

Sometimes things can seem pretty darn bad. But you just can’t give up.

There is always something new. There is always something you haven’t tried. There is always something to be learned. There is always new research being done. There is always someone you haven’t talked to. There is always another session of therapy for your loved one to go to, and maybe this will be the one that will “unlock” them. There is always another medication for them to try. And always…Always there is another day to come. Another day of hope. Another day where you can start over again. Another day where you can try something new. Another day where things might change. Another day where this might be the day that your loved one comes out of their bipolar episode.

This might be that day! This might be the very day where everything changes for you and your loved one! This might be the very day when that new thing you’ve been trying to help your loved one actually starts working! This might be the very day when their new medication starts kicking in! This might be the very day when their mood swings stop being so extreme! This might be the very day when their behavior stops being so erratic!

You can NEVER give up hope. For this might be that very day.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

If you have children, you’ll understand this…When your children were little, did you do this:

When they wouldn’t do as well at something as they wanted to (or as you would have liked them

to)…Did you say: “Well, at least you did your best.” Or, even if you don’t have children… Maybe your parents said that to you to try to encourage you at times when that happened to you.

Good parents say that to their children: “Just try your best.” That’s usually all they require. They just want you to try your best, even if you don’t always succeed. So you try your best and…Let the rest go. That’s all you can do sometimes. Especially when you’re dealing with a loved one

with bipolar disorder. If you don’t learn to just try your best and let the rest go, you’re going to burn out.

See…The emphasis is on letting the rest go here. You can’t do everything right, and you have to

accept that. You’re not always going to have all the answers. And that can be frustrating sometimes. I know…I went through it with my mother. And it was frustrating that sometimes I would think I had the answer…And then that would just stop working! And then I would have to try something else. And that would be frustrating too. So I had to learn the lesson about only trying my best and letting the rest go. Or else I would’ve driven myself crazy! And I don’t want you to go there. I don’t want you to burn out, either.

There are no hard and fast rules when it comes to bipolar disorder. Unfortunately. I mean, when it comes to being a supporter. There are when you have the disorder. Like, there is a hard and fast rule that you have to take your medication every day. That’s a given. That’s an easy rule.

But no one set down rules in a book that a supporter can follow that would make things easy for us. A lot of what we go through is just trial and error. And that can be really hard sometimes.

Some of what we do that works with our loved ones we get from other supporters who have tried things that have worked with their loved ones. And that can help. But largely we’re on our own.

And we have to find out what works with our own loved one. And even with that there are problems. Like sometimes what worked yesterday may not work today. So you have to change your approach. You have to try something different. Again…All you can do is your best…

And let the rest go. Or you will end up really frustrated. You have to keep trying to hold onto your positive attitude…And keep believing that something you will try will work with your loved one.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

You know, we hear a lot about feelings these days, and how we need to respect each other’s feelings. One of the most intense feelings is LOVE. And of love, there are two kinds:

Conditional love and unconditional love. Of course, conditional love is NOT the kind of love you want to have. It means that you have to live up to some kind of standard before someone will love you. Like you have to jump through hoops or something. Or be someone you’re not.

Like be someone they expect you to be, whether you’re that person or not. And if you’re not, well…They’re just not going to love you. See…That’s a love based on conditions. It’s a IF ONLY kind of love. So if you’re wondering whether your love for your loved one is conditional or unconditional…Look at whether you have the words IF…THEN attached to it. In other words…If you think in terms of, say: IF you wouldn’t act that way…THEN I would love you more. Or something like that, that would be conditional love.

Now, I’m not saying that you would WANT to be that way, of course. Nobody wants to love conditionally. It’s just that that’s the way our nature naturally goes. It’s hard for us to naturally love someone else unconditionally. But think in terms of a newborn baby. That baby is easy to love unconditionally. Why? Because it doesn’t ask anything of us. And it offers so much unconditional love in return. And it is so perfect, isn’t it? But your loved one isn’t like that.

Your loved one isn’t so easy to love. Not like that newborn baby. Your loved one is imperfect.

Your loved one has a mental illness. Your loved one has bipolar disorder. Your loved one makes mistakes. Your loved one sometimes acts in ways that make it hard to love them. Your loved one may even sometimes hurt you by the way that they act when they’re in a bipolar episode, for example. Your loved one may say things sometimes that you wish they wouldn’t say. Your loved one may do things that you need to forgive them for because of their disorder.

But they still need you to love them unconditionally. That’s one thing you can do to help them get better. Because most (if not all) of these things they say or do they’re not saying or doing on purpose or to make you feel bad or to hurt you. They’re acting this way because of their bipolar

disorder.

And if you keep thinking things like: IF ONLY you didn’t have bipolar disorder…THEN I would love you more…You’re not going to be the best bipolar supporter you can be to them.

Because using IF…THEN type of thinking means that you’re still using conditional love.

Now I’m not saying that it’s easy to love someone unconditionally. In fact, it’s just the opposite.

It’s hard to love someone unconditionally. And it’s especially hard when someone has a mental illness like bipolar disorder. It’s especially hard with bipolar disorder, because sometimes they can get so caught up in themselves and their own head (their disorder and the things it makes them do) that they push you away, and don’t let you help them. So sometimes, even if you do try to show unconditional love towards them, they may push you away anyway. But the thing is…the way unconditional love works is that even if they do that…You still need to keep trying to show them that unconditional love anyway. You still show them unconditional love, whether

it is returned or not. And eventually, hopefully, it will be.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews588/

Here are the news headlines:

Crossroads Mental Health Care Dwindles While Patient Numbers Rise, Consumers Say
DO> This is so sad, don’t you think?

Mentally Ill Inmates On The Rise In California Prisons And Jails
DO> What do you think is a better plan?

Mental Health and the Battle with Medication
DO> Great article take a look.

Stephen Fry – Manic-Depressive Genius
DO> He really is, do you know him?

Screening for Mental Illness? Yes, There’s an App for That
DO> There’s an app for everything, take a look at this

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews588/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave