Hi,

You know the saying, “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try, try again,” right? Well, it doesn’t say that you keep trying the same thing over and over again, does it? Otherwise, you run into the common definition of insanity, which is: “Doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.”

DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT!

That’s all it takes, sometimes, to change things. Or at least the outcome of something. And it doesn’t have to be something big that makes the difference, either. It can be something small that can make a big difference. The important thing is that you do something different.

When what you’re doing isn’t working, DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT!

If what you’re doing with your loved one with bipolar disorder isn’t working… And you’re getting very frustrated… It’s obvious that something has to change. Chances are, your loved one isn’t going to change. After all, they are the one with the disorder. And you shouldn’t have to change, either. But it’s obvious that something has to change, because what’s happening isn’t working any more. So…

DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT!

Maybe you’re enabling them. Maybe you’re making things too easy on them. So change that.

Stop enabling them. Make them do it for themselves (whatever it is that you are doing for them).

Then they will have to take responsibility for themselves in that area, at least.

For example, maybe you’ve been cooking all the meals. But they are perfectly capable of cooking some of the meals themselves. So you tell them that they are going to have to start chipping in and helping out with the cooking. If they don’t want to, that’s fine, they can go hungry on the nights that it’s their turn to cook (but be prepared to go hungry yourself the first couple times if they test you!).

Eventually, by your doing that one thing, it will change the situation (and, hopefully, your

loved one).

NOTE: This works well with the laundry as well! (so I’m told)

Here’s another example: If whenever you fight, you get defensive, and try to give your side of things, but it just makes matters worse, and your loved one just gets louder and more obstinate about giving their point of view, and it’s very frustrating for you…

DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT!

The next time you fight, try being quieter. It’s hard to fight with someone who won’t fight back,

and your loved one will lose steam a whole lot faster!

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave