Bipolar Lesson From Kid With 22 Ways To Get A Girl

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How’s it going?

I got up at 4:30am this morning
because I couldn’t sleep.

I have a really important bipolar
disorder lesson today.

First I wanted to remind everyone
that if you have bipolar disorder
and need to lose weight, please
take a look at this page.

I have been working non stop over
the last week because I have so
many deadlines for things.

Many of my businesses have all
these reports that have to be done
in December.

Second, I have a really funny story to
tell you about someone I know and
how there is a huge lesson for
those supporting someone with
bipolar disorder.

Let me tell you a story.

I know this kid (actually he is 25
so I guess he’s not a kid).

He never has a girlfriend because he
does and says the strangest things
when he is trying to get a girlfriend.

For example, he went to a new job and
he was working with a girl who was like
20. She was good looking. One of the first
things he said to her was, “Did you see
that special on TV about serial killers last

She thought of him as a “freak” from that point
forward. He asked me why I thought that was, “I
tried hard to break it down to him and he finally
got it.”

He did say to me, “It was a really interesting special,
I thought she might have seen it.”

Anyway, his strategies for getting a girlfriend
are legendarily dumb.

He does stuff and then he asks for feedback
second. It doesn’t make any sense. He should
get feedback first and then take action.

Anyway, yesterday, my one friend comes up to me in
the gym and says, “Dude, did
you hear about Mike?” (NOTE-I changed
his name.)

I said, “no, I didn’t?” He said,
“Dude, can you believe what he said
to Lisa?”

NOTE-My one friend uses the word
dude about 30 times an hour.

I was like, “what did he say?” He
said, “Dude, he like interviewed
her to try to ask her out.”

He was laughing and laughing. He
was all excited.

I was totally confused. Then he went on
to say how Mike tried to ask Lisa out
and asked her questions like:

“What kind of activities do you enjoy?”

“Where do you see yourself in the future?”

“What are your favorite hobbies and interests?”

“How many children would you like to have?”

“What do you find favorable in a boyfriend?”

“What are some of your likes and dislikes?”

My friend said, “dude, he asked them one after
another…dude, one by one…dude can
you believe it. He’s so stupid!!!!”

I started laughing.

I know people are going to write me and
say that I should be laughing, I should help
him out, blah, blah, blah. Come on, this is
funny. Read those lines, it’s crazy 🙂

Who the heck says “what kind of activities do
you enjoy?” Doesn’t that sound like something
that would be in some kind of test.

I said, “come on, did he seriously say this?”

My friend said, “Dude, I am serious, he said
those exact words. Dude, no joke, dude.” Then
my friend told about 1000 other people in the
gym and laughed for like a hour.

NOTE-Isn’t it funny how many times he
uses the word dude?

I was amazed that someone would say stuff
like this and expect a woman to go out with him.

So I asked another friend of mine in the gym and
she said that he had been reading a cheesy book on
“relationships” and had memorized all the lines
and simply said them one after another. She said
that he knew at least 22.

She also told me that the book said he should
“maximize the number of woman he approaches.”
According to my friend, he went from one girl to the next
reciting the same lines and questions. One
after another. Amazing.

I was speaking to this girl who I was friends
with and talked about how crazy this was
and how it made no sense. How it was so unnatural.
How if you needed 22 lines to talk to a girl and
ask her out, there was something wrong. She
totally agreed.

In addition, I found out that he also had
ways to keep a conversation going and get a
girlfriend to stay with him.

According to some sources, he had more than 40
things he had to say and do to make this
all work????

I was amazed. I had never heard of something
so crazy before.

What the heck does this have to do with bipolar

Good question.

As I walked on the treadmill and thought about
all of this, I was thinking about bipolar
disorder and this important lesson.

People come to me all the time. They want
to know the 7 or 3 magic things they
need to know to live with someone who
is unstable with bipolar disorder.

It’s a really strange question.

Why would you want to learn how to live
with someone who is unstable with bipolar

Should the goal be to live with someone
who stable with bipolar disorder?

Here’s what I have to say. If you find
yourself walking on egg shells with a loved
one with bipolar disorder; if you find
yourself having to memorize lines as to what
to say and not say; if you find yourself
not being able to have “normal” and “natural”
conversations with someone with bipolar disorder,
this is wrong. This is a sign the person is not

Too many people try to figure out how to permanently
live with someone who is not stable.

It’s kind of strange. Many people almost give
up and say, “Well so and so is never going to
get better. I just resign myself to living
with them and have to figure out how to deal
with it.”

My dad use to think like this. My mom would go
into bipolar episodes and he would just put up
with it. He wouldn’t focus on getting her
better treatment.

When I started becoming my mom’s main supporter,
this all stopped.

If my mom wasn’t doing well, the goal became
getting her treatment plan modified so she could
do well.

She appreciates this. Imagine if YOU had a disorder
and you were difficult to live with, would you want
someone to try to get you help so you were easy
to live with? Of course you would.

The bottom line is, the goal should be getting a person
into treatment.

If you need help getting someone into treatment
with bipolar disorder, or getting yourself treatment
because you just feel that you are not right
take a look at my courses/systems below:




Does this make sense?

Maybe it doesn’t.

Let me try to be clearer.

What I am saying is this, I strongly believe
that you should NOT have to walk on egg shells
and memorize all these lines to be able to
talk to someone with bipolar disorder.

If you find yourself in this situation, this
means your loved one probably is not stable.

It’s like the kid in the gym. I personally
believe if you need 40 different questions/lines
to be able to talk to and have a girlfriend,
there is something really wrong.

Just like there is something wrong
if: you have to not say these 40 things
to someone with bipolar disorder; you can’t
go in this part of the house; you can’t ask
this question about finances; or you can’t
do this or that, this is a big problem.

Many people live like this on my list
because they are not focused on getting their
loved one into treatment.

There is this one guy that I know. He was
working with him trying to help him out.
What I am about to say sounds insane.

Anyway he told me, and I took notes, that
in order to live with his wife, who was
NOT on medication most of the time,
and had bipolar disorder:

-He never could ask any questions about money.
-She had to be in control of the money
-He could never ask her where she was going
-He had to believe everything she said
-He had to sleep on the couch
-He had to always agree with her
-He had to admit that he was the problem
2-4 times a day
-He had to be able to be hit a few times a week

and a few other things.

He called these things, “The Rules.”

It sounds like I am making this up but
it’s true. He had been doing this for so long,
he didn’t even realize it didn’t make sense.

He was really proud that he found out all
these things that he could do to “keep his
marriage together” for “the kids.”

After working with me, he went all out and
focused on getting his wife into treatment. It
took like 7 months. Now she is doing well. But
prior to talking to me, he lived like this for
years and years and years.

Well I have to run and head off to the
good old gym. Who knows what funny things
that I will hear today. The gyms I
go to are full of funny people with funny
stories many of which lead to lots of
bipolar disorder lessons?

Your Friend,


P.S. Don’t forget to take a look through the
different programs I’ve put together… each one is designed
to help you with a different area of bipolar disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:

P.P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:

P.P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.

  1. Dear Dave, I should have told you a long time ago.My name is Jim Hunter. I was doing this for a friend who is Bi-Polar. His name is Bryan Mitchell.He doesn’t have a Computer.His Phone # is 775-882-4435,thats in Carson City NV.He would like to hear from,He will accept all charges. Thank You Jim Hunter

  2. Hi Dave: I’d like to take a moment to wish you and yours a Happy Holiday. Thankyou ever so much for all the information you have given to so many of us. Sincerly Barbara

  3. Amen, Dave!
    I will no longer be a prisoner to my boyfriend’s bipolar. I will never again let it dictate what I say or do or who I am. It’s ALL about stability!!!
    Happy New Year everyone!

  4. Dear Dave,

    Another great post….as always!

    The weight loss program sounds fasinating. I’m happy that you have finally found a program that works for you. Hopefully everyone subscribing to it will meet with success.

    It was sad to read about your marriage. ‘All abuse is WRONG!’

    Healthy relationships are built on LOVE, RESPECT, CARING and HAPPINESS.

    As for your friend,(Mr.Dude)tell him to kindly shut-up and mind his own bussiness. The ‘kid’ knows exactly what he’s doing.

    “You go Boy!”


  5. First of all…..did your friend ever get any one to go out with him? Bless his heart,he must be really shy!! Surely,there is a girl out there who will see how hard is trying!! LOL I wish him the best! I also know people who say DUDE about every other word…..I think it is so cute and funny! They don’t even realize they are doing it and the more excited they get the more DUDE comes out.Gotta love em! More funny stories from the gym please!
    Laughter is great medicine!!

  6. Nothing serious on THIS post, Dave! As a matter of fact, I, the bipolar, have a boyfriend who, when I first knew him, I felt I had to walk on eggshells around him, not to annoy him or get the “Jeesh” treatment! Fortunately, over time, I realized he had a VERY funny way of looking at the world, and it WASN’T me who was crazy! But I AM familiar with that feeling; although NO ONE I knew EVER felt they were circumventing me in any way just because I was bipolar…

    I saw my psychiatrist on Tuesday and my therapist on Thursday, and they both gave me a “clean bill of health,” so I’m contemplating a wonderful Holiday!

    MERRY CHRISTMAS to you, Dave, and your entire family. I pray your Mom makes it through the Holidays in “fine fettle,” and leaves the “bipolar willies” far behind!

    Also, MERRY CHRISTMAS to all bipolar survivors and those who love them, especially during the Holidays. My prayers are with you. Stay sane, and “party responsibly!”

  7. I know many people, especially family members, who won’t let me be myself and I always have to worry about what to say to them. They so easily take it the wrong way. None of them is bipolar, at least I don’t think so. I would certainly not discuss my boyfriend’s (or my ex-husband’s) bipolar disorder with them, as they would never understand. I still find it hard to understand sometimes, but I’m learning more every day thanks to your emails, Dave.

    During the last couple of days I have spent some quality time with my boyfriend. Judging by the fun we had he seemed to be coming out of his depression. In fact he cheered me up when I was getting a bit down. He couldn’t wait to open his present and told me he loved it and thanked me a hundred times. Today he tells me he was getting down again but he will see me tomorrow. Generally things are looking up.

    I would like to wish Dave and everyone on this site a very happy Christmas!

  8. Dave,

    Thanks for the “dude” story! That made me laugh out loud! But you need to tell him to stay out of “Mike’s” Kool-aid and not be spreading it around the gym, for Pete’s sake. Sounds like he is projecting to minimize his own incompetence!! Really!

    I have been living with rules of my own with my bipolar loved one. I do what I have to do to protect myself, since there is NOTHING wrong with him. It is so strange that he knows that I have GAD, PSTD, and OCPD–all stemming from STRESS, but cannot see that he has mood swings like Jeckyl and Hyde. Whatever. The boundaries have helped. I told him that when he feels angry at me for no reason, and I’m 27 miles away minding my business and have no way of knowing when he’s gonna “flip the script”; he had better pound sand and not even think about calling me or punishing me for my “imaginary crimes” or NONE of the bull mess that I have dealt with for 11 years. I told him, “Since it’s NOT you, but me, YOU HAD BETTER GIVE ME 5 FEET WHEN MR. HYDE emerges!!!!” Wouldn’t you know that me getting ME help, and setting clear boundaries with his bipolar alter ego, he is much better to deal with. He doesn’t go there! He knows he needs help! Since there is nothing that I or no one else can do to get him to a shrink and there is nothing wrong with him, he knows to BACK UP when he is tripping with that bipolar dude. I am spent and don’t have time for it anymore. So many of us fess up and get help; but NOOOOO, not my loved one! We will see if that changes this year….
    Thanks Dave for your support. Keep it coming.

  9. This is the old”forrest/tree syndrome”. We as supporters can get so bogged down in the day to day that we never see the big picture of where our loved one is or what we are doing day-to-day. life gets harder and harder. No one can live like that for long periods. there is no “joy in Mudville” when living this way!!

  10. I think it is wonderful that you do all this. I signed up for oyu free supporter course even though I am the one with bipolar because your $300.00 call is not somehting I can afford. We are under paycheck to paycheck. I have never been able to hold a job for long because of bipolar and the panic attacks that go with it. But I am learning alot for your supporter course. This feedback is just to tell you that you ar doing a wonderful job and helping me to understand where the others( theropy) and such could not.

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