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How’s it going?
I got up at 4:30am this morning
because I couldn’t sleep.
I have a really important bipolar
disorder lesson today.
First I wanted to remind everyone
that if you have bipolar disorder
and need to lose weight, please
take a look at this page.
I have been working non stop over
the last week because I have so
many deadlines for things.
Many of my businesses have all
these reports that have to be done
Second, I have a really funny story to
tell you about someone I know and
how there is a huge lesson for
those supporting someone with
Let me tell you a story.
I know this kid (actually he is 25
so I guess he’s not a kid).
He never has a girlfriend because he
does and says the strangest things
when he is trying to get a girlfriend.
For example, he went to a new job and
he was working with a girl who was like
20. She was good looking. One of the first
things he said to her was, “Did you see
that special on TV about serial killers last
She thought of him as a “freak” from that point
forward. He asked me why I thought that was, “I
tried hard to break it down to him and he finally
He did say to me, “It was a really interesting special,
I thought she might have seen it.”
Anyway, his strategies for getting a girlfriend
are legendarily dumb.
He does stuff and then he asks for feedback
second. It doesn’t make any sense. He should
get feedback first and then take action.
Anyway, yesterday, my one friend comes up to me in
the gym and says, “Dude, did
you hear about Mike?” (NOTE-I changed
I said, “no, I didn’t?” He said,
“Dude, can you believe what he said
NOTE-My one friend uses the word
dude about 30 times an hour.
I was like, “what did he say?” He
said, “Dude, he like interviewed
her to try to ask her out.”
He was laughing and laughing. He
was all excited.
I was totally confused. Then he went on
to say how Mike tried to ask Lisa out
and asked her questions like:
“What kind of activities do you enjoy?”
“Where do you see yourself in the future?”
“What are your favorite hobbies and interests?”
“How many children would you like to have?”
“What do you find favorable in a boyfriend?”
“What are some of your likes and dislikes?”
My friend said, “dude, he asked them one after
another…dude, one by one…dude can
you believe it. He’s so stupid!!!!”
I started laughing.
I know people are going to write me and
say that I should be laughing, I should help
him out, blah, blah, blah. Come on, this is
funny. Read those lines, it’s crazy 🙂
Who the heck says “what kind of activities do
you enjoy?” Doesn’t that sound like something
that would be in some kind of test.
I said, “come on, did he seriously say this?”
My friend said, “Dude, I am serious, he said
those exact words. Dude, no joke, dude.” Then
my friend told about 1000 other people in the
gym and laughed for like a hour.
NOTE-Isn’t it funny how many times he
uses the word dude?
I was amazed that someone would say stuff
like this and expect a woman to go out with him.
So I asked another friend of mine in the gym and
she said that he had been reading a cheesy book on
“relationships” and had memorized all the lines
and simply said them one after another. She said
that he knew at least 22.
She also told me that the book said he should
“maximize the number of woman he approaches.”
According to my friend, he went from one girl to the next
reciting the same lines and questions. One
after another. Amazing.
I was speaking to this girl who I was friends
with and talked about how crazy this was
and how it made no sense. How it was so unnatural.
How if you needed 22 lines to talk to a girl and
ask her out, there was something wrong. She
In addition, I found out that he also had
ways to keep a conversation going and get a
girlfriend to stay with him.
According to some sources, he had more than 40
things he had to say and do to make this
I was amazed. I had never heard of something
so crazy before.
What the heck does this have to do with bipolar
As I walked on the treadmill and thought about
all of this, I was thinking about bipolar
disorder and this important lesson.
People come to me all the time. They want
to know the 7 or 3 magic things they
need to know to live with someone who
is unstable with bipolar disorder.
It’s a really strange question.
Why would you want to learn how to live
with someone who is unstable with bipolar
Should the goal be to live with someone
who stable with bipolar disorder?
Here’s what I have to say. If you find
yourself walking on egg shells with a loved
one with bipolar disorder; if you find
yourself having to memorize lines as to what
to say and not say; if you find yourself
not being able to have “normal” and “natural”
conversations with someone with bipolar disorder,
this is wrong. This is a sign the person is not
Too many people try to figure out how to permanently
live with someone who is not stable.
It’s kind of strange. Many people almost give
up and say, “Well so and so is never going to
get better. I just resign myself to living
with them and have to figure out how to deal
My dad use to think like this. My mom would go
into bipolar episodes and he would just put up
with it. He wouldn’t focus on getting her
When I started becoming my mom’s main supporter,
this all stopped.
If my mom wasn’t doing well, the goal became
getting her treatment plan modified so she could
She appreciates this. Imagine if YOU had a disorder
and you were difficult to live with, would you want
someone to try to get you help so you were easy
to live with? Of course you would.
The bottom line is, the goal should be getting a person
If you need help getting someone into treatment
with bipolar disorder, or getting yourself treatment
because you just feel that you are not right
take a look at my courses/systems below:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Does this make sense?
Maybe it doesn’t.
Let me try to be clearer.
What I am saying is this, I strongly believe
that you should NOT have to walk on egg shells
and memorize all these lines to be able to
talk to someone with bipolar disorder.
If you find yourself in this situation, this
means your loved one probably is not stable.
It’s like the kid in the gym. I personally
believe if you need 40 different questions/lines
to be able to talk to and have a girlfriend,
there is something really wrong.
Just like there is something wrong
if: you have to not say these 40 things
to someone with bipolar disorder; you can’t
go in this part of the house; you can’t ask
this question about finances; or you can’t
do this or that, this is a big problem.
Many people live like this on my list
because they are not focused on getting their
loved one into treatment.
There is this one guy that I know. He was
working with him trying to help him out.
What I am about to say sounds insane.
Anyway he told me, and I took notes, that
in order to live with his wife, who was
NOT on medication most of the time,
and had bipolar disorder:
-He never could ask any questions about money.
-She had to be in control of the money
-He could never ask her where she was going
-He had to believe everything she said
-He had to sleep on the couch
-He had to always agree with her
-He had to admit that he was the problem
2-4 times a day
-He had to be able to be hit a few times a week
and a few other things.
He called these things, “The Rules.”
It sounds like I am making this up but
it’s true. He had been doing this for so long,
he didn’t even realize it didn’t make sense.
He was really proud that he found out all
these things that he could do to “keep his
marriage together” for “the kids.”
After working with me, he went all out and
focused on getting his wife into treatment. It
took like 7 months. Now she is doing well. But
prior to talking to me, he lived like this for
years and years and years.
Well I have to run and head off to the
good old gym. Who knows what funny things
that I will hear today. The gyms I
go to are full of funny people with funny
stories many of which lead to lots of
bipolar disorder lessons?
P.S. Don’t forget to take a look through the
different programs I’ve put together… each one is designed
to help you with a different area of bipolar disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
P.P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
P.P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.