Hi, how are you doing today? I hope you’re doing fine.
I’m really concerned about something, and I think you need to know about it as well.
You know I volunteer at several places where there are people with bipolar disorder, like support groups and such. Well, sometimes I like what I hear, and then I bring that information to you, because I think you can benefit from it.
But what is really bothering me today, and I think it’s been building up and I’m surprised I haven’t brought it up lately, is something that I’ve noticed happens at some of these meetings that is NOT a good thing.
I’ll tell you about it:
It’s when people who have NO clue about bipolar disorder give advice on it – even though the advice is sincere, it is still sincerely wrong! Now people can truly get hurt by this advice, and that makes me mad!
For instance, one person at the support group meeting said, “My friend told me that since I seem
to be doing so much better, that I should stop taking my medications.”
Then other people say, yeah, my friend said the same thing… and before you know it, this one comment is controlling the whole meeting, and it is a totally FALSE thing – a LIE!
I’m sure they’re not trying to steer someone else wrong, they just might not be aware of how harmful bad bipolar disorder advice can be. Even fatal, when you’re talking about going off your medications.
Then, when I try to tell them that that comment can’t be true, or that it could hurt them, or at least that they should check with their doctor before going off their medications, they ALL look at me like I’m some crazy person! Know what I mean?
Or they say their friend told them to stop working and get on disability. Another person said that their friend told them that another friend said that they should take this supplement on the market instead of their medications, and that it worked for their friend’s friend!
But I ask myself, where are these people getting this stuff? And how come people are believing it? Really, sometimes I just want to walk out of these meetings and just keep going. But then I remember why I am there – to help. And sometimes that help is just to tell them the truth about what their “friends” have been telling them.
Unfortunately, there is still no cure for bipolar disorder, no matter what you may hear at a support group meeting. Even though these people are well meaning, always check with your
doctor before you do anything like taking a supplement instead of your medications just because you heard “a friend of a friend of a friend” says it works. Everybody is different. What works for one person great may not work for another person.
Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
Post responses below
Frist I want to say I love your letters,And I know how bad it is to stop taking your meds.I have (HAD)to stop mine 3 times now and its the worst thing I have had to do,Mentily and phyicaly.It seams that ever time I do I end up with a phyical problem.I hate being off of them.
It may be that these people are making it up what their friends said (if the friends didn’t say). Perhaps they themselves want to go off their meds/job for whatever reason and are speaking in the group to get a reaction of those who might have done such a thing. If they know about bipolar then they would know they need to consult their doctor. If they are new to it, or embarrassed to acknowledge that they do not know the answer to making a change, they might mask it with “my friend said”. In which case all the more important for you to be there to share your information.
Dear Dave,
you are so right, some of the advice given me over my daughters BP would make your hair stand on end from notions like:
1) She will grow out of it its only a phase
2) the medicines are part of a pharmaceutical conspiracy ( the companies put something in the medications to make the patient totally dependent or another twist is that the drugs are there to completely annihilate a certain type of person ( ie the mentally unwell)
3) that Rachel is better served going to a healer perhaps a naturopath because they don’t deal in harmful drugs that have side affects.
The list is endless but I seem to be able to stop such ill informed people in their tracks by countering with “2 years ago everyone including you ( the uneducated person giving unsound advice) thought my daughter was a hopeless case….I am here to bear witness to her stabilization and continued good mental health because in part the drug regime she is on and her own courage and desire to remain healthy not because she decided to give up her drug regime”
you are right Dave, we the supporters have to be vigilant yet open hearted, cautious yet affirming most of all we have to believe the evidence before our eyes everyday all day.
regards
Shona
Hi, I wish there was a way we could be notified of when comments are responded to. Im a supporter and sometimes it wears me out. May I as this please? I know for fact that my 44 yr old friend has stopped prescibed med and from the state of the texts i am getting from her i think shes on illicit drugs. if i approach ehr(Only on phone at mo, we are living aprt) I have a lot of tat but how can i advise her to seek medical help without her going off into a rage fit?
I wanted to write about something else that goes on in support groups. There is one in Philadelphia that allows one of the members to verbally abuse other people and the bipolar + (personality disordered) person that attends the groups does this to take control of the group. The facilitator of the group does not stop him, and people have not wanted to go back for support because of this. This person has been called mean spirited and nasty by others yet no-one stops him. It is a DBSA group !