Hi,

How it’s going.

Guess what?

A person on my team upgraded my blog system at www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsupporterblog
and made it much easier for me to use every day and administer it. We have thousands of posts and it was getting out of control managing.

Speaking of blog, I saw this post from someone:

Dave: One thing that DRIVES ME
CRAZY when I am in an episode
(medicated even) is people asking:
“How are you doing?”, “Are you okay”,
etc. I used to scream when I heard those
expressions. A much better greeting for BP
people (or anyone in therapy) is “Good
to see you!”, “I’m glad you are reading
this and hope you are well today.” Some
of “us” feel like we are constantly bombarded
with “ARE YOU OKAY” – when the
answer is NO – but I’ll make it with help.
No we aren’t okay. No, no, no. So quit
asking. It just makes us question ourselves :”
ARE we OKAY?” “WHAT is okay?????”.
Regards!

This is great advice.

There is no need to ask are you okay a million times over.

It does drive people without bipolar disorder crazy and of course people with it crazy.

You should be looking for the signs and symptoms and not have to ask. You can observe.

Some of the better questions to ask might be:

“Honey, is there anything I can get you?”

Or, “Is there something I can do for you?”

“Care to talk about it?”

“I’ll just be here if you need anything.”

And that last one is the best one of all.

Do you know why?

Because it shows respect.

You are respecting their space.

You’re not bugging them.

You’re giving them the right to be “not OK” by themselves, yet be there in case they do want to talk to you.

That’s what many people with bipolar disorder want most of all.

That’s what they consider support.

I had one person with the disorder tell me one time:

“She’s not my mother! She’s not my babysitter! I don’t need her hovering over me!”

Your loved one doesn’t need you to act like their parent or to treat them like a child.

In fact, the opposite should be true.

Remember when I was teaching about being an enabler, like I do in my courses?

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
Well, the difference between an enabler and a supporter is that an enabler does things for the person that they can do for themselves…

While the supporter treats their loved one with respect and understanding, and is just there for them, helping where they need to.

Big difference, isn’t there?

If you were your loved one, which would you want?

Either way, you know it’s hard for your loved one to live with bipolar disorder.

It’s even worse, like the man in the post said, to have people all the time asking you if you’re ok.

Imagine if you just had an operation.

And everyone just kept asking you if you were ok.

They just wouldn’t leave you alone.

You’d never get any rest.

Well, that’s not even 1/10 of what your loved one goes through.

They just want to feel some sense of being normal.

And if you don’t treat them like they’re normal, how can they expect anyone else to?

You need to model the right behavior, set the good example.

When someone asks you how your loved one is doing, it’s not wrong to say they’re doing fine, just as you’re doing fine.

Because you’re loved one is doing fine, for someone with bipolar disorder.

And you’re doing fine, for someone who is supporting a loved one with bipolar disorder.

What do you think of what this man in the post said?

Is what he said something that your loved one would say?

Does your loved one feel like this man does?

Hey, I have to run to the gym. It’s Saturday and today is the day that I have to do lots of cardio and other training
stuff.

Have a great day and let me know what you think of what I wrote.

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.