Hi,
I hope you’re having a good day.
I was talking to a friend of mine about some problems I’m having.
Oh, nothing big, just some problems.
But apparently, I was complaining about it enough that eventually he said,
“Well, it’s not ALL bad.”
I looked at him like he was crazy!
See, to me, at the time, it DID look all bad!
But that’s because I was looking at it from the wrong perspective.
I was looking at it from the problem’s point of view.
I know that sound’s crazy.
I’ve been accused of being crazy before, believe me.
But hang in there with me, there’s a point to this.
The problem has the point of view that, “You’ll never solve me, I’m impossible to solve.”
And you know the thing about it is that people give up too easily.
They agree with the problem’s perspective!
They think, “Problem, you know, you’re right. There is no solution to you.”
But I want you to think of it from a different perspective.
I want you to think of it from the solution’s perspective.
It’s kind of like the hide-and-seek game we played when we were children.
The solution’s perspective is kind of like…
“Here I am, I’m here someplace, you just have to find me!”
It’s not always obvious.
It doesn’t mean to hide. It really is there.
Sometimes you just have to look for the solution.
In my courses/systems, I teach different problem-solving techniques, because they are important both for the person who has bipolar disorder and their supporter as well:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
Remember how when you played hide-and-seek…
Some kids were real easy to find, but others were harder to find?
Well, it’s the same with solutions.
Some are easy to find, but others are harder to find.
You just have to look!
Some solutions are right in front of you.
Some you have to look for yourself.
Others you can get by talking to other people about your problem.
But some you just have to roll up your sleeves, and dig right into the problem.
It’s like you have to say to it…
“Problem, I am not going to let you defeat me. I’m going to solve you no matter what it takes.”
Then there’s your own perspective.
How do you see things?
Do you see things from a negative or a positive perspective?
Do you think, “I’ll never solve this problem,” and then throw in the towel without even trying?
Or do you think, “There’s got to be a solution,” and then give it all you’ve got?
It’s up to you.
Finding the solution to your problems is a matter of perspective.
It really can’t be ALL bad.
What is YOUR perspective?
How do you solve YOUR problems?
David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.
Post responses below
I DO,NT NO DAVE……
I give up theres all ways going to be problems, and if one dosnt want to help solve then am fighting a loosing battle. I am fed up he,s a stubborn tw..
Take Care Linda
There is a book called “The Better Brain Book” which talks about the need for good nutrition to nourish the brain. I was introduced to it from a friend who was on antidepressants for 15 years. She has been able to get off the medication while improving her state of mind as well as physical health over a period of months. It is all about dealing with Bi-polar. She has now felt healthy for almost two years. She feels sad or angry sometimes, but usually cheerful and happy. She never feels the depression she used to feel.
Isn’t it easier to just let them go? Instead of trying frantically to change them and support them and live with them, I have found that it is easier to let them go and let them do their own thing. They will do it anyway, so why not live separately from them so they don’t just drown you in the process? Let them know you care but stop enabling them to be a loser. If they go to jail, they go to jail. If they do drugs, they do drugs. It they finally die of misery, they die of misery. There is nothing we can possibly do to protect them. What happens happens. My best friend Patty committed suicide 10 years ago. She had Borderline Personality Disorder. Nothing her family or me could do anything to keep her alive except keep her locked up in a psych ward and she hated that. She convinced a judge she was OK and went home and hung herself. She did exactly what she wanted to do and talked about for years. While I think it is tragic, I don’t know what pain she was in here on Earth. I now like to think she is with her father in heaven. Miss her? Yes! But could I have changed the outcome of this? No. Can I change ex-boyfriend? Addicted to meth and bi-polar? No. Not in this day and age. Too expensive. Too far gone. Not enough help from mental health agencies. One person should not and can not be responsible. Advise: save yourself!!!
To CHARLOTTE: I can see YOUR perspective; if someone doesn’t WANT help, they will NEVER accept it. Some people are just negative all the way, AND stubborn. Just because I can’t understand WHY Patty hung herself, so I can understand WHY there was a reason she felt she HAD to. I’ve been in psych wards that were reminiscent of “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest,” but the ones nowadays are real nice. I’m sorry for your loss of a good friend, and wish help could have come in time to save her. It’s my firm belief, however, that if someone truly WANTS to end their lives – they will.
I feel I have helped some people on this blog “wait just one more day” before they hang themselves or take an overdose, or jump, but that doesn’t make me a hero. It might PROLONG their lives for that “extra” day, but if the depression/pain is so extreme – they’re going to do it anyway. We can never understand – beyond Heaven – why some take their lives. You have a very mature way of looking at it, and I admire you for it.
Although I’m NOT like our President, I feel change for change’s sake is not all bad. Normally, I’m a pretty optimistic person, and my perspective on things is that I can pretty much solve ANY problem in my way. I’ve had computer glitches for two days now, and I know WHO to call to get them fixed. The reason I’m typing this NOW, is that I figured out – with the help of the COMCAST technician, how to get on the Internet.
BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good. I pray for my country.
I strongly agree with looking at problems from a different point of view. Not only do you see different answers, you can also see that solving one problem can help you solve many others. I have Bipolar and when I face a problem that I cannot solve, I usually share it with a friend. Friends with different backgrounds will solve the problem differently. Also when I have an episode I will usually think differently and a solution to an old problem will pop up.
For everyone else I suggest that you share your problems, sharing your problems doesnt mean that they have to solve it for you. Sharing will allow you to get the problem of your chest, and it will allow new views to the problem.
This is a quote that I liked alot
LIke a finger pointing to the moon; do not concentrate on the finger or you will miss the heavenly glory.
Bruce Lee
Same with the problem… dont concentrate on it, look beyond it, and it will bring new hopes.
Good Luck to all.
As they say, it is a “permanent solution to a temporary problem.” However, my problems are much more serious and they are permanent. I feel some comfort knowing that I can use a permanent solution to solve my problems.
My husband feels like there is no hope of ever getting better. He can only see the problem. I know there is an answer somewhere we just haven’t found it yet.He has been on depacote and Librium. The Dr. put him on Abilify on Saturday. Only 15 mgs a day on top of the other meds. No real improvement yet. I took all his guns out of the house today. I did it to protect him from himself. The Dr. he see’s wants him to go to the hospital for 2 weeks, but he doesn’t want to go and is afraid he will lose his job. He is parinoid (sp?) that the insurance will tell his boss and he will lose his job. he doesn’t see how counseling would do him any good, but I do. I am desperate for him to find what works for him. We have been married for 21 yrs and have 3 kids together. The last yr has been a really bad yr for him and us. He was diagnosed with bipolar disorder About a month ago. it’s really hard to see someone you love go threw all this.