Hi,
I hope this day is a good one for you.
I have to go to a meeting all day today so I need to get going, okay?
Let’s talk about what’s going on these days for a minute.
These days lots of people are worrying over all kinds of things.
Is it the end of the world?
Are we in a depression?
Will things get worse?
Are we running out of oil?
Are there going to be any jobs?
And on and on.
I saw an article that says the average person now spends more than 2 hours a day worrying.
This is highly unproductive.
I see with bipolar disorder people worry, too:
Will I go into an episode?
Will my loved one get ill again?
Will a major episode strike?
Will the bipolar medication stop working?
Will things ever get better?
The problem is that this is wasted time.
Worrying is always a waste of your time.
Know why?
Because the things you worry about are things you have no control over.
You should focus on what you can control instead.
You can waste your time worrying about all the things that could go wrong, you could choose to do that.
Or…
You could think about the things that could go wrong and try to have a Plan A, B, and C, but don’t dwell on all these problems.
Do you see how you have a choice in the way you handle your problems?
I teach problem solving techniques in my courses/systems:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
There’s a wrong way and a right way to go about it.
The wrong way is like I said in the beginning of this post.
There’s always something to worry about.
Always.
Just look around you, and you can find something.
Some friends of mine live in a trailer, and it’s pretty old, so there’s some things pretty wrong with it, like some plumbing problems.
They live on disability, and they barely can pay their regular bills.
And they probably can’t get a home loan.
Now, they’ve got real problems.
So they have a reason to worry.
But are they worried?
No.
Why?
Because this couple is solution-oriented.
They have a Plan A, B, and C.
First they are going to present the problem to their homeowner’s insurance. That’s plan A.
They are going to the bank anyway, because they figure the worst that can happen is that the bank says no. That’s Plan B.
Then, Plan C is that they are going to try to find someone they know who can help them get the work done, so all they have to do is pay for the materials.
Then, if all else fails, they will come up with a Plan D.
Do you see what I’m talking about?
They aren’t sitting there just worrying about the problem.
They are looking at ways to fix the problem.
Because they know the problem isn’t going to just go away by itself.
The problem isn’t going to go away by worrying about it.
The problem isn’t going to go away by talking about it.
The problem will only go away if they DO something about it.
It’s the same thing about bipolar disorder.
You may have some problems managing it.
But you CAN do something about it.
Think of a Plan A, B, and C. Even if you have to have a Plan D, at least you’ll be doing something about it.
Anything is better than just worrying about it.
Agree or disagree?
David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.
Post responses below
I totally agree with you. Worrying doesn’t help the problem at all. Most of the time whatever you are worried about doesn’t even happen.
I agree. My thought is though, what if you exhaust all of the plans and you are left with choosing something that might not be the best solution?
In Pennsylvania you can petition the court to involuntarily commit someone. I had to do this last week. My boyfriend is bipolar, I was told by one doctor that he is the worst case that he had ever seen and that he probably would never get better. He has been involuntarily commited over 10 times. I had to move out of our apartment that we shared because he became violent and I was afraid to sleep in my own house. Believe me, I understand that he is sick and that when he goes into an episode it is his illness, but on the other hand, he refuses to get help when he feels an episode coming on and if you even try to talk about it with him, he goes into a rage. When I went to the crisis center to fill out the petition I asked a lot of questions before I actually decided to fill it out. They all know my boyfriend there, he’s been through there so many times. Their advice was to do the petition because his cycle is to become manic and then he becomes psychotic, so getting him into the hospital while he was manic was better than letting it go and having him become psychotic and then ending up in jail where they would do nothing for him.
So, I understand what you are saying about having plans, but I guess what I’m getting at is I can have all the plans in the world for helping my boyfriend, but if he is not willing to work with the plans, then what is left for me to do. I don’t know if he’ll ever talk to me again. I know I did the right thing, but because of his illness, I doubt he will ever believe that.
Thanks.
Ann
I do agree that everyone needs a plan for life period…My boyfriend has not been officially diagnosed as being bipolar.just things that Ive seen in our relationship that seem irrational,impulsive,very reckless,angry at the world and I think the outside past influences in his life has what has led to this.I truly love this man and we are currently separated due to impulsive circumstances that he just didnt think through and broke a trust with me.I want to help him and be able to continue our relationship but I just dont know how.
HI, I just read about people worrying too much about things. I know I do. I am always thinking about things, trying to find a solution to the problem. There are times though that no matter what solution I come up with I seem to do the opposite. I get things fiqured out then the idea falls. I am always told to keep my head held high and keep on trying. I do, no matter what the situation is. It is hard to do that especially when you have bi- polar.
Ann-
This has been my experience exactly. And I am still being blamed by my bipolar husband who resides in a group home now, because the very things that he needed to do to live as a family, he was unwilling to do. You did the right thing. Protect yourself. There is a bipolar supporter group at Belmont on Tuesday nights from 7-9. And there is the TEC family center the South Eastern Pennsylvania Mental Health Association. I will never understand why we don’t get the support we need as supporters to help someone to avoid ending up in jail, but it’s a strange world of even stranger laws. We have the right to protect ourselves and for someone with mental illness to be involuntarily committed if they are a harm to themselves or to others in PA, but there is nothing to make them take their medications or give them insight once they get out of the inpatient unit. And if you want to keep him in longer than 72 hours you have to go through the mental health court circus where they say “oh, he isn’t psychotic right this very minute”. That’s when you stand up, as my own young son did and tell them “if he becomes psychotic or threatens me one more time, it is your license we will go after and you who will be sued, so you better make sure he never threatens us again”. Of course he did threaten again and even became worse in the years following, but we know we tried and did the best we could and in the end it is up to the person with the illness to follow through on therapy and medication, because if you force them to take medication they will come back at you and scream that you poisoned them. It’s too much craziness for having only one life to live! Believe in yourself and protect yourself. You will find love again if you keep your heart open.
Being in a “mixed episode” DOES have me worrying. I can’t afford (monetarily or TIME-wise) to end up on a psych ward. I’m like that guy on “Ed Sullivan” who has plates on a bunch of sticks all in the air at the same time. What would happen if one of those plates FELL??!! Yeah, it’s a balancing act, and I DO worry about going manic.
However, the one thing that I called my therapist about was about my lady friend. She’s a great prayer warrior, and she prayed in tongues. We both “felt the spirit,” but this is DANGEROUS for me, as I get religious delusions in advance of a hypomania or manic attack. My therapist told me to tell my friend NOT to get “carried away” religously around me. I was afraid she wouldn’t understand – so I brought it up with her when she invited me to breakfast last Saturday. Turns out – she’s FINE with it!! So – I faced down something I was worried about, and it turns out that if I was honest about my illness with my friend, she took it well. It helps that she’s a counselor for other people, although she doesn’t understand my delusions.
Charlie came up to spend the night yesterday – a WONDERFUL time was had by all!!!
BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good. I pray for my country.
HI DAVIE BABS……
Am no good at problem solvin no one wants to no wat comes out of my mush. Lori I must agree with you on this one. Its just shit that come in your head. Then the worry turns to paranoier then becomes the suicidal thourghts.
Take Care Linda. x
My boyfriend is very worried about going into another episode. He’s taking his meds, keeping his appointments etc. and should be ok. Last week it was exactly a year ago when he was taken into the psych ward, so I think it maybe the anniversary syndrome. Also he moved house only a couple of weeks ago and is very happy with his new home. Moving house, even when positive, is always stressful. He is not showing any signs of an episode. I told him that, as I would recognise the signs. He is smoking more and more. He confides in me and told me that he is determined to be independent. He says he is worried that he would go into a manic episode and end up in the psych ward and lose his home again. I suggested he should tell his psych about those fears. He doesn’t want his anti-psychotics increased again, as that makes him depressed (and put on a lot of weight). If he is really worried, I’m sure his psych would give him a couple of extra sessions. Maybe the good thing is that while he is worried, he will stick to meds and appointments and is much less likely to go into an episode. The bad thing is that he doesn’t want to go out or do anything too enjoyable in fear of going into an episode. Creativity, sex, socialising are all seen as danger signs, while I would say that boredom can do worse. I will try to speak to his psych and hope my boyfriend will mention all this to him himself. I think all this worrying is more likely to make him depressed rather than manic – either way wouldn’t do him good.