Hi,

How’s it going today?

I want to start by asking you a question:

Does yesterday help with today when you’re dealing with bipolar disorder?

Another question:

Does tomorrow help with today when you’re dealing with bipolar disorder?

NO. To both questions.

Yesterday is gone, and tomorrow isn’t here yet. The only day you have is today, and the only thing that’s important is what you do with it.

If your loved one is in therapy (and, hopefully, they are), they should be learning this concept.

So it’s important that you learn it too.

It’s called “mindfulness” – being “in the moment.”

In 12-Step Programs, they call it living “One Day at a Time” – you may already be familiar with this concept.

Living with someone who has bipolar disorder is a very hard thing to do (as you know). Being their supporter, you have some very hard issues to deal with.

One of those issues is that your loved one may tend to live in the past, which, as you know, is no good for either of you.

It’s an issue they should be dealing with in therapy, but one which they may or may not be doing.

And, even if they are, they may be taking it out on you.

You should be dealing with what’s happening now and your thoughts and feelings about it, and how to deal with negative thoughts and feelings.

Now, that’s a pretty hard thing to do if you’re still in yesterday, or worrying about tomorrow.

The way to do it is to let go of yesterday. I know, easier said than done.

You’re probably still angry about things your loved one said or did that made you angry, frustrated, or hurt when they were in their last episode. But you have to let that go. It doesn’t help you to deal with today.

In my courses/systems, I talk about the One Day at a Time ideal, or living in the moment, not living in the past or worrying about the future:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

You need to stop worrying about tomorrow – it isn’t here yet, and you don’t know what’s going to happen. Worrying about it just makes your “today” worse.

Just concentrate on what you have to deal with today.

Today, hopefully, your loved one is stable.

Today, hopefully, you are not dealing with a loved one in a bipolar episode.

Be grateful for that today.

Or your loved one may be experiencing mood swings.

But however your loved one is feeling, you must remain constant. Concentrate on your own thoughts and feelings.

YOU ARE OK. You are NOT the one with bipolar disorder.

Separate yourself from your loved one’s disorder. And separate your loved one from their disorder.

Actually I was volunteering and a speaker said some things that are good for this message.

Let me get my notes.

Okay I am back….

She said:

“Try to keep the peace as much as you can.

Try to make today as good as you can.

Try to live in the moment.

Try to take things One Day at a Time.

Don’t let yesterday or tomorrow ruin your today.”

Know what I mean?

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME

Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

I hope you’re having a great day!

You know, too many people think that supporters of loved ones with bipolar disorder are weak, but I think they are some of the strongest people I know.

Think about it…

To watch your loved one go to hell and back when they’re in a bipolar episode…

To see them feel so bad, so sad, so helpless and hopeless, and you not be able to do anything about it when they’re feeling depressed…

To know that you can’t control what they do when they’re in a manic episode, to have to live with the idea that they’re out there somewhere, doing all kinds of risky behavior, possibly leaving you in financial ruin…

That’s not weakness…

That’s STRENGTH.

A quiet strength. The kind of strength that other people don’t see and can’t understand.

Being a supporter takes strength.

Other people don’t know you or your loved one – they don’t have any idea what you go through on a day-to-day basis, so how can they judge?

They can only imagine how they’d feel, so if they’re thinking you’re weak, well, it’s only because they’re looking at a mirror and that they’d be weak if they were in the same situation, so what does that say for them?

You have a quiet strength that others don’t see – it’s not a weakness.

Not any more than that just because your loved one has a “hidden disorder” makes it any less of a disorder!

In my courses/systems below, I talk about what it takes to be a good supporter, and being weak is certainly NOT one of the characteristics!

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

It takes strength to hold up your head when other people are looking at you and your loved one with judgment in their eyes, and to fight the tendency to defend yourself against that stigma, especially when it’s coming from family and friends.

They just don’t understand – they don’t have to live with bipolar disorder like you do. I’d say that THEY are the weak ones, not you! Because it takes strength to fight this disorder on a daily basis, never knowing if your loved one is going to go into an episode or not.

It takes a LOT of strength to be a supporter, as you know.

But people fear what they don’t understand, and they won’t take the time to read about bipolar disorder so that they will understand your strength in the midst of a powerful illness. So they continue to think you’re weak, when really you’re very strong.

So keep up the good work!

You’re much stronger than you think you are!

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME

Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How’s it going?

Hope you are doing well and have a great day.

I want to talk to you today about a concept that I learned from a man named Bill.

I saw this post on my blog and I think Bill’s comment to me a while ago is appropriate.

The post said:

Hi Dave:
just a question if I may. I live in NOva scotia (Halifax) Canada and read your emails all the time. Am dating a man with Bipolar Disorder and care for him very much and we are exceptionally good friends. So I try to learn what I can. One thing you mentioned in today’s email was that your Mom still has episodes.

“The majority of episodes last a few weeks or months. Sometimes they do go on longer. My mom’s has been going on for the last eight months now. If I can handle that, I know you can stand by your loved one, too.”

MY understanding was that when you were properly

medicated and I do know that can change up and down too that episodes don’t occur or the cycling is minimal. My friend adjusts his medications from time to time under the auspices of his Psychiatrist. Can you explain why your Mom would be having episodes for 8 months. I thank you for all of your advice and emails. They have been very helpful in assisting me to understand this illness and my friend better. yours truly and most sincerely,” Lavonne

========================================

So the question is why was my mom’s episode 8 months. It was actually much longer than that.

Here’s the deal.

All my mom’s episodes were not that long through her life. There’s a concept called “catching the episode” that I learned from Bill.

Basically I believe that my mom’s episode went on for so long without proper treatment that it wound up taking a while to stop.

It’s like a train that is running and sees a person in front of it and can’t stop. The train is too big and even if the breaks are hit, it takes a long time to slow down.

I think a lot of this has to do with medications. During an episode like my mom’s, well, her medications got so messed up, it was like her psychiatrist almost had to start all over, and when you have to do that, it takes so long, it’s like playing “catch up.”

Then it takes time for the medications to work, and if some of them don’t work, you have to go “back to the drawing board” and start again with another medication, etc. etc. And all this takes time. So this can go on for months.

Also, her sleep habits were off. So it took time for her sleep to get normal again.

And there were other things that were “off”, too.

In my courses/systems below, I talk about the Bipolar Stability Equation:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

The Bipolar Stability Equation consists of all the elements needed to keep your loved one stable.

Things like medication, therapy, a good support system, a healthy diet, sleep, exercise, etc.

And if any of these things are out of whack, they can become triggers to a bipolar episode.

In my mother’s case, many of them were out of whack, so her stability fell down like a house of cards, and these things had to be put back into place, which took quite a bit of time.

Some things take longer than others. Some things take less time than others. But they all need to be in place for your loved one to be stable again.

Just like Bill’s train analogy, where the train takes time to slow down and stop, it can take time for your loved one to become stable again after an episode, because all the elements of the Bipolar Stability Equation have to go back into place again.

As long as your loved one continues to take their medication, go to therapy, get the right amount of (uninterrupted) sleep, exercise, eat a healthy diet, live a healthy lifestyle, has a good support system, is productive, and does all the things that keeps them stable, there is the best chance that they will not go into an episode.

And it is partly your job, as well, to watch for signs and symptoms of an episode, watch for triggers and changes in their moods, patterns, etc. to make sure they don’t go into an episode as well.

Sometimes it can’t be helped, though, because remember, you’re still dealing with a chemical imbalance of the brain.

So remember the bipolar train effect if your loved one does go into an episode.

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME

Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How are you doing?

I hope you are doing well.

I was working hard yesterday. Michele Soloway and my self have come up with so many new incredible ideas it’s going to be amazing.

You’re going to love our new ideas.I will keep you posted.

Yesterday I saw the movie Quarantine.

If you like horror movies you should go see it. You will NEVER guess the ending of it.

Also, yesterday I was reading a new book on Warren Buffett who is said to be the greatest investor of all time.

It’s a great book.

The title is:

The Snowball: Warren Buffett and the Business of Life

I won’t ruin what it means in case you want to read it.

But it reminded me of a concept I made up for bipolar disorder.

Today I want to talk to you about

THE SNOWBALL EFFECT

Do you remember when you were little and you made snowballs? Did you ever start off making a small ball and rolling it until it  ot bigger and bigger and bigger until it turned into this big ball? (Usually this was done to make snowmen with).

Well, your thinking can have the same effect.

One of the biggest problems with bipolar disorder is called “racing thoughts,” or thoughts that you just can’t shut off.

Someone with the disorder told me he just calls when that happens “times when my brain won’t turn off. It’s like I’ve lost the off switch.”

Usually it’s the fault of the disorder, but sometimes it can be the fault of the person.

I’ll tell you what I mean.

This is how quickly your negative and insecure thinking can spiral out of control, just like the snowball I was talking about:

Have you ever noticed how nervous and anxious you feel when you’re caught up in your thinking?

You start off with one thought, it jumps to another thought, which leads you to another thought, and it’s just like the old   “Telephone Game” we played as children…

and before you know it, your thoughts are someplace totally different from where you started off.

For example, you could wake up in the middle of the night and then you remember a phone call you need to make the next day.

Then, instead of being glad that you remembered the call, you start thinking, “I hope I remember to make that call.”

Then you start thinking, “What if I forget to make the call?” and “What am I going to say when I make the call?” and “What are they going to say?”

And before you know it, your thoughts are going around and around in a circle, all over that one phone call, and you’re getting more and more agitated.

What’s worse is that after worrying about that phone call so much, then you start on all the other things you have to do tomorrow.

And THE SNOWBALL EFFECT starts to, well, snowball!

One of the things I teach in my courses/systems is to make a To-Do List, and it’s for this very reason. Once you’ve made a To-Do List, you don’t have to worry about all the things you have to do tomorrow. You can have peace, knowing all your tasks are on that list.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

Another thing you can do is to keep a little pad or notebook by the side of your bed in case this does happen to you, and just jot a note to yourself to remind yourself about the call, or whatever it is that you don’t want to forget, and then you can go right back to sleep without the rest of the racing thoughts snowballing.

Now, this doesn’t even have to be a middle of the night thing. I know a woman with bipolar disorder who  keeps lists for  everything so she can manage her disorder and keep her thoughts from spinning out of  control. She always has a small notepad with her in her purse for when she goes out, and several around the house. Her husband always teases her about it, but it’s one of the systems she uses to keep her thoughts from racing, and to keep her bipolar disorder under control.

See, not everything to do with management of your bipolar disorder has to be complicated. You know how I’m always talking about systems. Well, this is one of those systems that’s easy to use, and simple to put in place.

But if you don’t, things can get out of hand pretty quickly, and you can suffer from racing thoughts.

Just remember, you don’t want THE SNOWBALL EFFECT to happen to you!

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME

Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

Hope this is a good day for you.

Hey I have to go really, really quick today. I actually mapped this out in my mind last night because I couldn’t sleep.

Oh someone was complaining that I had a typo here and there. Here’s the deal. I spend a ton of time every year on these daily emails.

Up to 75 minutes EVERY DAY. 365 days a year, including Christmas, my birthday, etc.

It’s not the easiest thing to do and I try to get great information out within 75 minutes.

If I have a typo here or there I am sorry. I can’t however spend even more time sending to multiple editors and making the entire process take hours. If I did this, I wouldn’t ever do it at all.

Just think, last year I spend more than 365 hours on this. That’s a lot. BUT I am committed to it. Anyway, I just wanted to address the typo issue.

Oh one last thing. People have asked to edit my daily emails. And then when I ask them if they are willing to do it at 8:00am EVERY SINGLE DAY with NO days off and get the editing done really fast, well they can’t do that or make a promise of that nature : )

Anyway, okay let’s move on.

I was talking to this girl the other day, and she was telling me about how when she was little, her and the girls in her neighborhood would make these things called “gum chains.” It was a woman in the gym. She was bored “out of her mind walking on the tread mill.”

Anyway, she said….

They would take the paper wrappers off sticks of gum, and somehow fold them (I suppose in ways that today we would call origami), and link them together and form chains with them.

So what does this have to do with bipolar disorder?

Well, I was thinking about that story, and it made me think of something like a bipolar liking chain.

It would go something like this:

Your loved one likes you.

They like themselves.

They like to live.

They like their doctor.

They like their treatment.

They like to feel better.

They like their life after the medication makes them feel better.

They like their life with you.

They like their family.

They like doing well.

They like their hobbies.

They like stability.

See what I mean?

It’s like a chain. And the chain keeps growing, and keeps getting better as long as certain things are in place.

In my courses/systems below, the (shall we say) chain starts with a treatment program:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

Now, if your loved one has certain things in place, they will have a good CHAIN:

1. Medication

2. Doctor

3. Psychiatrist

4. Therapist

5. Supporter

6. Support System

7. Treatment Plan

8. Diet

9. Exercise

10. Sleep

11. Watch Triggers

12. Self-Care

See what I mean?

And all these things are necessary parts of the chain.

Some things may be added, like hobbies, and some things may change (like you may have a social worker instead of a therapist), but you must still have a bipolar liking chain.

Like the little girls’ gum chain, if any part of the chain comes out, the whole chain falls apart!

Like the bipolar liking chain, would you like to be the part of the liking chain that was missing? I’m sure you wouldn’t.

So all parts have to be present for your loved one to achieve stability, which is the end goal, after all, isn’t it?

Maybe there’s some things in YOUR bipolar liking chain that I’ve forgotten.

If there are, please share them with the rest of us?

I have to take off. Catch you tomorrow morning.

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME

Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

I hope your day is a good one.

People ask me why I work out so much.It’s because I like too. It has nothing to do with me having a bipolar disorder or anything. Working out is a hobby and I have a something that I have developed to make my workouts work for me. It relates to bipolar disorder perfectly.

If you haven’t learned this concept yet, you will. If your/your supporter or loved one’s routine is upset, it may upset your whole day. In fact, it can lead into a bipolar episode. Really! Upset routines are one of the triggers to a bipolar episode.

You may even have experienced this yourself.

Have you ever had one of those days where you missed your morning cup of coffee and the whole day just went off-kilter?

That’s what I’m talking about – your daily routine was upset.

Now, psychologists would probably tell you I’m crazy, and that this isn’t a proven fact, and where is the research to back it up, or whatever, but you know what I’m talking about, don’t you?

There was this couple where the wife had bipolar disorder and one day she just went totally off because she couldn’t find her brush. Now, he kept offering her different brushes, even showed her that there were several brushes she could have used (more than enough for just the two of them in the house).

But she just got madder and kept demanding that he help her find HER brush!

Do you see what I mean? Her routine was disrupted.

I’m sure you’ve experienced similar events.

Bipolar disorder is like that.

Another man with bipolar disorder happened to wake up one Sunday morning before the paper had been delivered, and just paced and paced, irritable and impatient, because his paper wasn’t delivered on time (when, in fact, it was, the problem being that he had just awakened too early that day, disrupting his routine).

In my courses/systems below, I talk about how important it is for someone with bipolar disorder to have routines and to stick to them. It gives them a sense of order:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

Bipolar disorder is disruptive enough in someone’s life. They will look for anything to restore order to it, and routine is the most common way.

People with the disorder will look for routines to help them. Therapists will encourage them to do this as well. And supporters will, too, because it helps their loved one to manage their disorder.

Routines aren’t just daily occurrences (like taking your medication, reading the paper, getting up at the same time every day, or drinking your morning cup of coffee).

Routines can be every other day or every few days (like tending a garden, reading a book, or calling a friend or family member).

Routines can be weekly (like going to see your Therapist or filling up your medicine container).

Routines can be monthly or bi-monthly (like going to see your doctor).

Routines can even be yearly (like going on vacation).

But never forget the importance of routines!

I have a workout routine that involves working out sometimes twice a day, sometimes taking 10 days off at a time, sometimes high intensity cardio, sometimes low intensity, sometimes weight training, etc.

The bottom line is I have one and you need one for bipolar disorder. It’s critical. So many people dealing with bipolar disorder don’t have one and disaster strikes.

Hey, I have to run. Agree or disagree with me?

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME

Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How’s it going?

I hope you are doing well.

Here is today’s news.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews399

Woman’s Bipolar Disorder Inspires Book, Group
DO> Great article. Take al ook.

Winning the bipolar battle
DO> What do you think of this?

Call for public education on mental illness to be enhanced
DO> VERY important, don’t you think?

Experts ponder link between creativity, mood disorders
DO> I have been saying this for years.

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews399

==>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:

http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

Hope your day is going great my is. Why?

Well I finally got my ipod working and I can listen to all this stuff on MP3s. I am totally low tech so this is a major accomplishment for me. An accomplishment first thing in the morning.

If you are wondering why considering there are like 200 million people with ipods, I don’t have an answer for you.

Okay so yesterday I was in the gym and my friend says to me, “Hey, look at that dude, he looks like one of those dudes from back in the day a long time ago.”

I was like, “huh?”

He’s like “you know those people in the castles that made the king laugh?”

I was like, “huh?”

He was like, “DUDE! You know the guy or the dude that made the kind laugh…I forget what he was called.”

NOTE-Notice how my friend thinks by saying the word dude louder that will help me understand in the world he is taking about. Also notice how he uses the word “dude” twice in a sentence two times.

I was said, “you mean a court jester?”

He was like, “yea dude, that’s right. Your smart.”

I looked at this guy and he really did. He had like a thing on his head like the old court jester. It was really funny.

Now before I tell you what this has to do with bipolar disorder and make sure you don’t think I am insane, I will say….

I DO NOT CONDONE MAKING FUN OF PEOPLE IN THEGYM.

But I will say this, the guy we were looking at was really big and strong so it’s okay to laugh since well he was a big guy and we weren’t making fun of a smaller person : )

Now, funny question, isn’t it –

Are you a Court Jester?

And what does it have to do with bipolar disorder, right?

Well, in old Medieval Times, it was the responsibility of the Court Jester to entertain the King.

So the question really is, are you spending too much time entertaining your loved one?

Here’s the point:

Your loved one shouldn’t need entertaining. Or at the very least, they should be able to entertain themselves.

They don’t need a Court Jester.

What they need from you is companionship.

They don’t need a Court Jester.

What they need is a supporter.

They need someone who can be there for them.

They need someone who can help them manage their bipolar disorder (not do it for them).

They need a partner not a parent (unless you are supporting a child/teen)

In my courses/systems below, I talk about how to maintain a good relationship in spite of the fact that your loved one has bipolar disorder:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Visit:

http://www.survivebipolar.net

You don’t have to feel sorry for them, and you don’t have to be the Court Jester and entertain them all the time.

For example, it’s good for your relationship just to spend time together.

Yes, it’s also good for them to learn how to do things on their own, but companionship is a good thing for them in building a healthy relationship with you (or rebuilding one after an episode).

Spending an hour each morning just being together is a good way to do this. Just talking over a cup of coffee or tea, over breakfast, or just reading the morning paper together and sharing stories from it.

There’s a married couple I know who both have bipolar disorder and are each the other’s supporter, and every Friday night they go on “Date Night” together.

They don’t necessarily do anything expensive or extravagant (one night they just spent the night at home and played board games), but it’s just the companionship that’s important.

Since they started doing “Date Night,” their relationship has improved immensely.

These are just a few examples.

I’m sure you can come up with some more.

What do you think? I have to go to the gym

now so I will catch you tomorrow.

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME

Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.