Hi,
How are you doing?
I hope you are doing well.
I was working hard yesterday. Michele Soloway and my self have come up with so many new incredible ideas it’s going to be amazing.
You’re going to love our new ideas.I will keep you posted.
Yesterday I saw the movie Quarantine.
If you like horror movies you should go see it. You will NEVER guess the ending of it.
Also, yesterday I was reading a new book on Warren Buffett who is said to be the greatest investor of all time.
It’s a great book.
The title is:
The Snowball: Warren Buffett and the Business of Life
I won’t ruin what it means in case you want to read it.
But it reminded me of a concept I made up for bipolar disorder.
Today I want to talk to you about
THE SNOWBALL EFFECT
Do you remember when you were little and you made snowballs? Did you ever start off making a small ball and rolling it until it ot bigger and bigger and bigger until it turned into this big ball? (Usually this was done to make snowmen with).
Well, your thinking can have the same effect.
One of the biggest problems with bipolar disorder is called “racing thoughts,” or thoughts that you just can’t shut off.
Someone with the disorder told me he just calls when that happens “times when my brain won’t turn off. It’s like I’ve lost the off switch.”
Usually it’s the fault of the disorder, but sometimes it can be the fault of the person.
I’ll tell you what I mean.
This is how quickly your negative and insecure thinking can spiral out of control, just like the snowball I was talking about:
Have you ever noticed how nervous and anxious you feel when you’re caught up in your thinking?
You start off with one thought, it jumps to another thought, which leads you to another thought, and it’s just like the old “Telephone Game” we played as children…
and before you know it, your thoughts are someplace totally different from where you started off.
For example, you could wake up in the middle of the night and then you remember a phone call you need to make the next day.
Then, instead of being glad that you remembered the call, you start thinking, “I hope I remember to make that call.”
Then you start thinking, “What if I forget to make the call?” and “What am I going to say when I make the call?” and “What are they going to say?”
And before you know it, your thoughts are going around and around in a circle, all over that one phone call, and you’re getting more and more agitated.
What’s worse is that after worrying about that phone call so much, then you start on all the other things you have to do tomorrow.
And THE SNOWBALL EFFECT starts to, well, snowball!
One of the things I teach in my courses/systems is to make a To-Do List, and it’s for this very reason. Once you’ve made a To-Do List, you don’t have to worry about all the things you have to do tomorrow. You can have peace, knowing all your tasks are on that list.
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Another thing you can do is to keep a little pad or notebook by the side of your bed in case this does happen to you, and just jot a note to yourself to remind yourself about the call, or whatever it is that you don’t want to forget, and then you can go right back to sleep without the rest of the racing thoughts snowballing.
Now, this doesn’t even have to be a middle of the night thing. I know a woman with bipolar disorder who keeps lists for everything so she can manage her disorder and keep her thoughts from spinning out of control. She always has a small notepad with her in her purse for when she goes out, and several around the house. Her husband always teases her about it, but it’s one of the systems she uses to keep her thoughts from racing, and to keep her bipolar disorder under control.
See, not everything to do with management of your bipolar disorder has to be complicated. You know how I’m always talking about systems. Well, this is one of those systems that’s easy to use, and simple to put in place.
But if you don’t, things can get out of hand pretty quickly, and you can suffer from racing thoughts.
Just remember, you don’t want THE SNOWBALL EFFECT to happen to you!
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David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.
Post responses below
Even if you are NOT bipolar, it is good to do this. I have woken up at night time about things tht I have forgotten to do at work and then can not go and sleep as it worries you the whole night. My bipolar daughter’s mind ofter works overtime like this and runs away with her and I will suggest this notebook to her.
Thanks
Lynn
I too keep a to do list everyday and check off things as I do them and add to them .Without it I would go crazy. It does help. I have been keeping a to do list for years. Donna Brittain
I am not sure if my son has bipolar or not. he is 14 and has rages for no apparent reason. the biggest problem is his hate for me, he is very verbally abusive and destructive to our house. i have recently learned that he is involved in drinking, even got suspended from school for a week. He seems to have lost interest in basketball, which used to be one of the most important things to him. He does at times tell me he is going to try in school and at basketball. but, i dont know if he is telling me that because i want to hear that or he is drinking or does he mean it.
how can i know if he is bipolar or just has a behavioral mental health issue.
Thank you for explaining the “Snowball Effect” .. i have had this for years .. ever since i can remember .. my mom said “lets find that off switch .. slow yr thoughts down” another example .. I’m talking on here and i change the subject atleast 3 times within 20 minutes .. its so hard sometimes for ppl to keep up .. most of my friends enjoy it cause they never know what topic i will come up with next .. keeps them guessing .. Now i fully understand it is part of my disorder .. i really appreciate this insight …
Thank you again …
Pollie
Hi Kim,
The only real way of finding out what kind of problem your son is having is for him to be evaluated by a “good” dr. Dave talks all about good drs and bad drs in his supporter course. No matter if he is bipolar or something else. Dave’s supporter package that he mentions in the email for this blog has the link to the package. In it he talks about how to go about finding a good dr. You want to find a good dr because there are bad ones that do more harm than good. It may be bipolar disorder because agitation and irritability are part of it, but mood swings are the nature of bipolar. If you can find a good dr to do an evaluation on him, that is really the only way to find out.
Dave,
About lists, I couldn’t agree with you more. I have had to buy a medium sized book. I keep notes on what I am going to do and what to talk to my drs. about, usually I have a list of 5-6 things. I need to talk to all different kinds of drs. I have internal med dr. psychiatrist. psychologist, back specialist, etc. I always write down between appointments the things I need to ask them because the list is lengthy. It is taking an assertive step in my own care. If I don’t, I forget all about what I was going to ask them, then kick myself for forgetting while I am with them. I also have a note pad by my bed, just for those late night ideas and to-do’s .
Stopping racing thoughts is critical to staying stable. Writing them down will help, but is not always going to work for me. We have to learn the skill of purposefully controlling the down hill train of thoughts that lead to large snowballs which cause episodes. I have learned to do this for the most part. The one area I have most trouble in is when people are disrespectful I tend to snowball a resentment, but I have learned to slow that train down considerably. Also when I make a stupid mistake, I tend to kick myself, but even with these two liabilities, I am able to calm down in a couple days max! Before I would tail spin for weeks or months, and crash and burn. Now I pull myself out of it. There is really no trick, it takes purposeful training by stopping our thoughts that bother us. We have to stop them like we stop doing anything else. Will power in the case of thinking does work! It may not work in other areas, but when it comes to stopping our thoughts, when we are on adequate medication, we “CAN” control our thinking and that prevents episodes in me 90% of the time!
Thanks for a great topic!
Bob
The “Snowball Effect” fits me to a “T.” When I’m overloaded with stressful energies that include external problems, my mind won’t “cut off” until I get a resolution to at least ONE of the things on my “to-do” list. Unfortunately, I haven’t tried using a notebook to write down these racing thoughts as they occur to me; the only list I have is a grocery one!! BUT – I STILL forget at least one thing AFTER I go shopping, that was IMPORTANT.
With my tax debt problem, however, I wrote down EVERYTHING the mortgage broker needed to close the loan. However, it’s been a month since I’ve heard from him that we’re closing, and we STILL haven’t closed. I KNOW that with the market situation as it is, it’s harder to get refinancing, but I was APPROVED more than a month ago. My mind “races” as to what I’m going to say on the phone if I reach him; I usually use the quotes from the Bible that go something like this – “Do not worry what you’re going to say. At the proper time, I will give you the words.” This has done a LOT to calm me when I have important things to talk about. Just leave it in the Lord’s hands…
I also get “brain fog” (there’s another word for it, but I can’t use it here!). I can think of something phrased just right, and a second later, it won’t come back to me. This is VERY frustrating, especially when I’m writing a report to submit for a mystery shop.
Altlhough I’m in a plateau right now with the bipolar, I fear the racing thoughts. They start and continue at their discretion. I try VERY hard to “cut them off at the pass,” so they don’t bother me so much. I agree with the part that says they CAN keep you up at night.
Thanks, Dave, for this wonderful email. I shall continue to try and CONTROL the “Snowball Effect” in my mind; after all, I’m the ONLY one who can do that. Racing thoughts are VERY personal and can be bothersome to those who try to follow what I’m saying. Even my boyfriend says I “interrupt” one train of thought with another, “off the wall” subject, so that he’s unaware of where I’m going with the “new” thought. I will continue to work on this problem, as it is one of my greatest weaknesses.
BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good.
Hi Dave
Thank you for explaining the snowball effect. That is very interesting. I’m just wondering if racing thoughts plays a role in all sleeping disorders, maybe in most of them. I can see that it is a big problem when it comes to bipolar and it is not just for shutting them down. Thanks Dave its good advice.
Have a super day.
Hi Dave
Thank you for sharing the above information it is really a great help. I do have racing thoughts all the time. My planning is at night in bed and I never switch of at all. It is very difficult as I don’t even think a notebook will help, because I feel different every day. I never follow my plans due to the fact that I feel so tired in the morning that I cannot do half of the things I planned ahead. I wish there can be an easier way to just switch off and not think of tomorrow or the next day. Strange enough it does have an effect on my manic episodes, because if I cannot complete what I planned on doing then I go in a complete manic state. I will try and shut down and hope that things will work out for the best.
Thanks for great advice
To Bob-a-Survivor:
I couldn’t agree more!! When properly medicated, bipolar sufferers are just as much in control of their own thoughts as anyone else…maybe a little more focus is required, but if you really want something, in this case peace from racing thoughts…you need to RE-DIRECT your thoughts back into a pattern, read off one of your lists if it helps, force yourself to think of something pleasant, something benign, something that doesn’t require thinking at all…you get the idea. Meditation works for some, others like a scented candle, a nature CD and a cup of herbal tea. Others pet a dog or cat and read a decent book or magazine. Whatever works for you. Just so you all know there IS relief from racing thoughts…had them myself. Actually a warm scented bubble bath WITH a candle AND relaxation CD works best for ME! Let your thoughts flow throught your head, in one ear and out the other, do not dwell on any one particular thing, just let it go…
HAPPY THANKSGIVING from Toronto Canada to all!
David, Don’t even know if you’ll get this …But … Have a cool saying that I think helps my propensity for my ” Zoobrain ” from keeping me up all night. It’s the Any Man: Any man that tries to change anything but his own disposition will waste his life in fruitless efforts and magnify the griefs he proposes to dispose of … You are a very wisdomous guy and I don’t have any desire to listen to what other people have to say about you. You are cool dude … Thanks …WooD!
THANKYOU DAVE…..This is the best advice I have received. I support a lady with bipolar and I am so thankful for this information. At night when Jane goes to bed, I now realize that the reason she has fitful sleeps is because of this. It makes so much sense now. From the bottom of my heart, thankyou. I know now, this is why she had the radio on. I will have to put it back on for her at night. She got out of the routine. I really believe this will help tremendously.
To Dee Dee. Happy Thanksgiving to You from Canada. Good advice also.
I read your post on the Snow Ball effect. I agree with those with BiPolar writing things down and keeping a to do list especially when we are manic and have alot of creative ideas. Doesn’t mean that these ideas are not good ones but sometimes we can overcommit or become to grandiose with our ideas. Maybe when this happens we can revisit them when we are more stable. My to do list provides me with motivation to get things done, stop racing thoughts, accomplishments, and a way not to forget to do something. When I am depressed I’ll tell you I can easily push all the to do list, except for my job, and vegetate on the couch.
Hi Dave,
When I read, “the snowball” effect, I became ecstatic!! I learned now that by writing things or thoughts down in our journals or daily planners, that will not only keep us from failing to do something that we’re supposed to do that day, but it will help us to remember more by being more organized in our thoughts or things. And it will keep negative thoughts away. Last week (and I don’t know if this story I am about to tell you relates to this or similar), while I was on my way to see my psychiatrist, I got a call from Human Resources in D.County stating that I was excluded from teaching C. Middle School (won’t mention the entire name of school, county, or city) because the 7th grade administrator had pulled me to the side after I got her and told me that you could not turn off the (box) fans because the school could get in serious trouble and liable. Well, I had these off-the-chain 7th graders in a 7th period Science class that would NOT give me any respect at all whatsoever. So without thinking, I turned the fans off to make them respect me. The Middle School was without air-condition. So, the Human Resource person that was in charge of the substitutes stated that the exclusion I received was not due entirely to my turning off a fan, but it was the way I reacted when questioned about the incident. All of a sudden, I started crying because 1. I did not want to get into anymore trouble and that I thought the 7th grade a.p. was comforting me saying, “It’s O.K. It’s nothing to cry about” I also told her in an upset voice, “now you’re going to give me a bad reference.” She even told me not to worry about that and invited me to sit in someone else’s office. And number 2. I started worrying and predicting that since nobody hardly ever recognized or welcomed me with open arms, I feared that there was going to be trouble ahead. 3. And I knew this was going to happen because I called my best friend and told her that I did not feel welcomed at this particular school, starting crying and had thought about contemplating suicide. She said, “I don’t ever want to hear you say that because I’m not working like you are right now!” Anyway, after calming myself down for a few minutes at someone else’s office, I STRICTLY remembered this 7th grade a.p. asking me, “Do you want to stay in this office for the remainder of the day, or do you want to go back to the classroom?” I had decided to go back to the classroom. The regular education teacher was really no help, so after I turned the fans back on, I was persecuted even further. One kid kept asking me if he could use the bathroom after I went over the teacher’s rules about using the restroom during locker break in the beginning. I said, “No” and ignored him. I had to speak to another kid (once or twice) in English, but that time in Spanish to spit out his gum!! And there was another kid (a female) asked me if I had any children of my own. And I told her calmly that I could not answer that question at that time. I did not get anything done that day! Anyway, the H.R. person said that the principal stated that I became extremely emotional (which is true, but I calmed myself down for about 5 minutes in that office to control myself and THEN went back to the classroom) and unable to control myself (which I emailed the H.R. person that was NOT TRUE) at the time I was removed from the classroom and escorted to the office where I remained for the remainder of the day. I could NOT believe that the principal lied about the situation about my staying in the office for the rest of the day nor could I believe that I thought I was going to be happy when that 7th grade a.p. who used to be at a high school while I did long term subbing in Spanish in 2007 was going to welcome me with open arms. She said with a straight face that she was talking to another a.p. I even thought she was going to do a reference for me to work for H. County, but it turned out, she never turned it in. I thought this 7th grade a.p. was cool with me. I don’t know if you call this a snowball effect. What happened was that I had two disappointments that caused me to become severely depressed that when some people hardly recognized me at that school, I started having negative vibes, thinking, “What if?” I learned next time to meditate on 2 Cor. 10:4-5 to thwart away negative thinking, pray before I walk into any school building, and most importantly, think before you react when an incident arises. And don’t let them see you sweat nor as Jesus would say, “Don’t let your right hand know what your left hand is doing.” People whom you think are kind to you and may welcome you with open arms will be the main ones to stab you in the back, take things like emotionally crying and unable to control yourself (once you do something wrong and let those negative thoughts come in) and use it against you. They will even lie about you staying in the office for the remainder of the day when you have a Advocate, who is the Father knew that you went back in that classroom calmly, even though those kids acted a fool. One more thing, if a negative thought arises, write a journal to God. That’s what I do. And those thoughts will go so far away; you will have a good day at work. Anybody who reads this comment, I happily welcome you with open suggestions about this matter as to what YOU should think I should do next time. Maybe they thought I was a threat to them in the beginning, like I was a villain looking for trouble to start with. I say the principal even gave me a “fake” smile in the beginning!
Hi,
I have visited your site for sometime now and after this I became receiving informative letters about bipolar disorder.
I am working for some years in biotherapy and psychotherapy with people having various disorders and diseases.
I had a lot of satisfactions working with them and watching them cure of forms of cancer, various “unusual” pains, other inner problems, forms of mental induced / autoinduced “black magic”, etc.
Some time ago I met my actual life partner.
He has bipolar disorder.
I think it was the first time in my life that I came across such a situation. It was shocking. He did not seem that way for the first time. He was very dissimulated and tried to offer another image about himself.
Then after a few days of living together he became acting very unusual , like hating the things that I respected most, especially the fact that I used to do my evening prayer and my daytime prayer – he hated why I could do this and he didn’t, why I could cure people and he couldn’t do it even for himself etc.
He often doesn’t know how to put the problem, he does not want to learn these things , I am talking to the walls – he wouldn’t consider my explanations – I told him that TO CURE IS THE NORMAL WAY OF LIFE FOR ANYONE- IT HAPPENS CONTINUOUSLY WHEN YOU ARE POSITIVE AND WELL INTENDED.
AND TO PRAY IS THE CONTINUOUS CONECTION WITH LIFE AND GOD, SO EVERY PERSON IS BORN WITH EVERYTHING HE NEEDS TO ACCEED TO GOD IN A LIFETIME.
Many years have passed and he didn’t care to give a slightest atention to his problems , to what I was telling him every day, I am doing psychotherapy with him every day and I noticed that with my working very very hard he is now a little different.
I don’t think I will resist any longer if he continues this way.
What would you advice me to do ?
Until now he did almost everything he knew I dislike the most, or especially what he knew for sure I dislike the most or it will produce huge discomfort to me.
Every day with every gesture he acts like he is looking for the solution for discomfort, everything to be upside down, he fights to babilonize me and stop me from doing what I have to do.
What is this ?
You surely have experience with this kind of problems. I did not have such phenomena in my family when I was child. I understood his problems only because I had a lot of experience as biotherapist. And what I saw shocked me.
You know what I see all the time ? I see that people like him are nothing but bad people, destructive, liars, haters, passive agresive, wrong people, the ones who fight to retard the others that threaten to be really good-better then them, etc.
I allways cured the good people who were too exposed to the bad ones or at least were people who understood their mistakes and wanted to make a change into their lives.
What do I have to do with him ?
He asked me for help but so half -mouthed and he so often forgot he ever wanted this. He was thinking that I would make the entire job by myself and he would just wake up one morning completely cured.
I would have liked his healing to work that way. But in the meantime he did not bother to do the faintest effort to talk to me more often, to expres more good sense and a little more seemliness and respect.
How can I work with him like that ?
I am a very compasionate person but I am a fighter – I don’t tolerate bad behaviors as he would like me to do. He doesn’t even realize what he ‘s asking for. He behaves like a drunk person or like a person under drugs though he never takes any of these.
He acts like being two persons – and what tortures me is the fact he doesn’t seem to remember what he did when he was “the bad one”.
I don’t believe him.
I used to, I respected him, I thought that if I respect him and myself – he will do the same.
But with him this does not work.
So if you have a little time sometime please tell me what to do , what will be the best way to solve this problem before he gets to destroy everything.
I don’t understand and I don’t want to understand that HE CAN’T STOP HIS THOUGHTS. My God how can this be possible ?
Is there anyone who cannot do this ?
I never accepted he can’t. He is lazy with this, lazy soul. This is the painful hardest work for me to do – to awake his soul.
He never cared to try do stop his thoughts. He never gave any importance to what I was telling him about the autoimune disorders caused by thoughts.
And I must add that he knows physics and maths and was among the best in the college and University. He had the best marks at the University. He is among the best at his job.
I knew that the ones who had bad character cannot be cured and it’s a lost effort to try to cure them. But I always felt there is hope for him.
At the same time I feel I have to start to do something for myself and to not permit him to force me to give all my attention only to him”just like that” as until now.
Can you provide any advice ?
Thank you.
thanks 4 da info i can use tat 2 help my wife god bless.I will check tat flix out man.thanks