Hi,
How’s it going?
Hope you are doing well and have a great day.
I want to talk to you today about a concept that I learned from a man named Bill.
I saw this post on my blog and I think Bill’s comment to me a while ago is appropriate.
The post said:
Hi Dave:
just a question if I may. I live in NOva scotia (Halifax) Canada and read your emails all the time. Am dating a man with Bipolar Disorder and care for him very much and we are exceptionally good friends. So I try to learn what I can. One thing you mentioned in today’s email was that your Mom still has episodes.
“The majority of episodes last a few weeks or months. Sometimes they do go on longer. My mom’s has been going on for the last eight months now. If I can handle that, I know you can stand by your loved one, too.”
MY understanding was that when you were properly
medicated and I do know that can change up and down too that episodes don’t occur or the cycling is minimal. My friend adjusts his medications from time to time under the auspices of his Psychiatrist. Can you explain why your Mom would be having episodes for 8 months. I thank you for all of your advice and emails. They have been very helpful in assisting me to understand this illness and my friend better. yours truly and most sincerely,” Lavonne
========================================
So the question is why was my mom’s episode 8 months. It was actually much longer than that.
Here’s the deal.
All my mom’s episodes were not that long through her life. There’s a concept called “catching the episode” that I learned from Bill.
Basically I believe that my mom’s episode went on for so long without proper treatment that it wound up taking a while to stop.
It’s like a train that is running and sees a person in front of it and can’t stop. The train is too big and even if the breaks are hit, it takes a long time to slow down.
I think a lot of this has to do with medications. During an episode like my mom’s, well, her medications got so messed up, it was like her psychiatrist almost had to start all over, and when you have to do that, it takes so long, it’s like playing “catch up.”
Then it takes time for the medications to work, and if some of them don’t work, you have to go “back to the drawing board” and start again with another medication, etc. etc. And all this takes time. So this can go on for months.
Also, her sleep habits were off. So it took time for her sleep to get normal again.
And there were other things that were “off”, too.
In my courses/systems below, I talk about the Bipolar Stability Equation:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
The Bipolar Stability Equation consists of all the elements needed to keep your loved one stable.
Things like medication, therapy, a good support system, a healthy diet, sleep, exercise, etc.
And if any of these things are out of whack, they can become triggers to a bipolar episode.
In my mother’s case, many of them were out of whack, so her stability fell down like a house of cards, and these things had to be put back into place, which took quite a bit of time.
Some things take longer than others. Some things take less time than others. But they all need to be in place for your loved one to be stable again.
Just like Bill’s train analogy, where the train takes time to slow down and stop, it can take time for your loved one to become stable again after an episode, because all the elements of the Bipolar Stability Equation have to go back into place again.
As long as your loved one continues to take their medication, go to therapy, get the right amount of (uninterrupted) sleep, exercise, eat a healthy diet, live a healthy lifestyle, has a good support system, is productive, and does all the things that keeps them stable, there is the best chance that they will not go into an episode.
And it is partly your job, as well, to watch for signs and symptoms of an episode, watch for triggers and changes in their moods, patterns, etc. to make sure they don’t go into an episode as well.
Sometimes it can’t be helped, though, because remember, you’re still dealing with a chemical imbalance of the brain.
So remember the bipolar train effect if your loved one does go into an episode.
FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials
David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.
Post responses below
Before I was diagnosed as having Bipolar, I was manic 95% of the time. I would go months in a hypo-manic or full manic state. Most of my senior year of college was spent in a manic state. It was the crash at the end of a manic episode when I was 25, shortly after I graduated university, that ended up with a suicide attempt and me in the hospital where I was properly diagnosed. So yes, it is possible to be in an episode for long periods of time. I love the fire, drive, creativity, and energy I had while manic so I didn’t see anything wrong.
Hi Dave
Thank-you for all your advice, you are truly helping me through a very difficult time.
You often mention the signs and triggers to upcoming episode. I know that you cover these extensively in your course and I wish I could purchase it but I unfortunately cannot afford it at this stage.
Is there any possibility you can give me and indication as to what some to the “generic” signs are of an upcoming episode as well as what some of the generic triggers may be?
From the reading I have established that change in routine may be a trigger, this does make a lot of sense to me, I most certainly experience this…
Many thanks
Cristina
Hey Dave,
I havent written in a while but I do read your emails often. I wanted to tell you about my brother. He fought bi-polar all his life, 90% of it was self medicated with drugs and alcohol. Back in 2001 he overdosed on lithium and was in a coma for about 3 weeks. Since then, he pretty much left the alcohol alone and completely stopped all the drugs except pot. He’s had a pretty good run since then. He finally got a disability check which wasn’t much since he owed child support, but he and his girlfriend of 13 years made it work somehow. Anyway, he had bi-polar so you know the deal.
On August 31st of this year we buried my sister after losing her battle with cancer.
My brother, even after the loss of Angie (my sis) seemed like he was dealing.
Anyway last week a series of events occured that eventually led to his suicide.
I found out that he hadn’t had any meds in a while. But didn’t seem to effect him since he was functioning. He had been in an accident and hurt his neck a few years ago and recently was going to rehab for it. The doctor prescribed vicodin for pain. Apparently it wasn’t enough and with his history of drug use, he knew what he could do to stop it.
Him and a friend were shooting up a coctail of xanex, vicodin and whatever else they had for pain on Thursday night. This put him into an episode that lasted until he took his life on Saturday morning.
I guess the reason I’m telling you this is because I haven’t technically been diagnosed with bipolar but all the signs are there. I also have a history of drug abuse and alcohol. I have learned that positivity works wonders. I don’t know what to think about my brother, but I do know that he battled this thing his whole life, till finally I guess he’d had enough. I want to let people know how serious this imbalance is and mixed with drugs and alcohol it can be dangerous. For people with bipolar, it doesn’t take a whole lot to set them off. And folks don’t understand that once that happens it takes a long time to settle them down to the “norm”. (If thats what you want to call it).
It’s nothing to play with.
Anyway, thanks for your emails, they really do help.
Your friend,
Tara
Hi David,
I want to thank you for creating this support system. It has helped me to understand the disorder a lot more. I am still have problems dealing with the rath of it. I am married to a man with an exsteam case of bipoler disorder and he will not stay on his medication. I don’t know how to get him to and I don’t know how to cope with his extreamly harsh mean words that come out of his mouth when he is having an episode. We also have two kids that have to deal with his harshness and I don’t know who much of it we can take. Is there any hope for us?
Hi David,
Your newsletter is a BIG help to me.
My girlfriend of 1 year was diagnosed as Bipolar with Anxiety (severe) 6-7 months into our relationship. I’m trying to learn as much as I can to understand what she’s going through but sometimes it seems as though she doesn’t want to get better. Just recently she abruplty stopped taking her medicine without saying anything about it and that sent on a downward spiral…it scared me. She started self medicating, and won’t listen to any advice I try to offer her. She just started taking her medicine again and now I know it will take awhile for the medicine to work. In the meantime, what can I do??? Thank you, David.
Running out…of options for now,
-AL
Hello David – my question is dealing with a 16year child who is unwilling to take any type of medication. Is unwilling to see the psychiatrist, counselor et…. – Now keep in mind this has been court ordered but she refuses to speak at all when she is there so I consider that not seeing them. She was originally diagnosed two years ago. I began seeing signs around 12 years old. It runs on her father’s side of the family. He has killed himself, his grandmother has killed her self and his mother is extremely depressed and shows signs which are strung around having alzyheimers as well. My question how do you put a stategy together to get this child the help that is need and available. Unfortunatley, I’m just waiting for her to turn 18 and move out – and we all know that won’t help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. Thank you Linda
I have been on medication for years and I still have eposides. I think it just happens. When I bottle all my emotions up I tend to go off eventually. And I am still on the same medication. It helps but it don’t completlty stop it from happening. Donna
Hi David,
i am grateful for your emails,it strenghthens me greatly.i am battling with bipolar for the last ten yrs,previously they diagonosed it as schizophrenia,i am working but like others i have a dreadful feelings that i will end up in an instittuiton after a horrible relapse,but now am facing the life boldly,thx for yr emails.
punitha
It is one thing to be a friend to a bipolar, it is another to live with them. I know because my husband used to be married to one who refused to take the medication, stating it didn’t make her feel right. She also drank liquor constantly. Now from what I hear she is not in an episode, but I wonder how long that will last. She remarried before we did and there was an episode during her courtship, and the guy married her anyway, it was with alcohol drinking. I think that if she still is drinking which has happened for over 26 years of being drunk and not coming home maybe for days or weeks it isn’t going to change her behavior now, am I right?
I use my cell phone calendar and my Outlook calendar on my office email all the time, which helps me ALOT, to just put it in there and know I will be reminded when the time comes. I also establish routines and once I do something a few days, I will keep remembering that I need to remember.
I just replied sepaately by email yours today.
I omitted to express my sincere hope that the problem afflicting your mother and many others that you know about, will subdue in time and thus help continue their precious lifes enjoyable with their dear ones.
Hi dave.
thanks for all the advise and email. it has helped us alot in understanding
these difficult problems, in dealing with people who have bipolar,dep, etc.
my son has these problems, along with drugs and drinking.
He self medicates, I have tried to help him as much as possbile, but he is so weak to drugs, that after all the help we have given him, he returns back to his same habit..
He does not remain on his meds, because of the life style he enjoy, drugs,drinking. he moves from place to place, and job to job, just enough money to get by.
we had to ask him to leave home, because we were not going to help him, since he wanted to live his dyfunctional life style, with drinking and drugs.
he has been in court, jail, rehab, etc.etc..
He only calls, when he needs help with a problem, otherwise I don’t hear from him.
He knows what he must do, to get stable again, but as long as he continues, to do his thing, them we keep our distance from it.
Bipolar Disorder, depression, is not a free -pass for dyfunctional behavior, when there is help avaible.
thanks again.
Tony.
I am married to a man who has been bipolar as long as he can remember, but was only diagnosed about six months ago. After about the first year of our marriage, there was a definite change in him. He would go from being a wonderful loving husband (which is all that I had ever seen) to being a mean, hateful person who was capable of saying unbelievably mean rotten things to me. This cycling was very rapid – sometimes many times in a day, other times it could be for a week or so at a time. The cycling seemed to vary based on what was going on in his life at the time, and also how things were between us. If I would say anything that he could take as negative in any way, it would throw him into a hypo-manic state where he was very irritable. Things in our house were either very good, or very bad, and typically he had no true understanding of what he had said or done when he was hypo-manic. I thought that he sas schizophrenic. Then things took a turn for the worse, we had a few stressful events happen, he quit sleeping and went into a full-blown manic state. He became very irrational, violent, paranoid person who I was terrified to be around. This lasted until I could talk him into going back to his therapist and psychologist, where he finally was truthful with his counselor and psychologist and was diagnosed and prescribed medication. While he is much better than he was then, he still averages once to twice per week of irritability, which can last from a couple of hours to three to four days. Medication does not remove the episodes, but can drastically shorten them, or lessen them.
Dave,
Thanks for the continued information on bipolar. I am a bipolar II
I failed or had bad reactions to so many medications. I have gone for months without meds because of this. I am currently on Keppra.. don’t know if it is going to work. I am trying to understand my triggers and what brings on episodes. It can be really hard sometimes and very frustrating. Racing thoughts, fast talking, anger are all so terrible. Just wanted to say thanks for the info you continue to send.
Lori
Can anyone explain ‘bipolar III” ???? I looked it up last night, but I still don’t have a clear understanding of it.
Hi Dave
I know exactly what your mother went through as I had episodes that also lasted for a ccouple of months. Although on medication the symptoms was there all the time even while on treatment with the help of doctors and psychiatrist. Did she also experience pshysical symptoms like head-aches, abdonimal pains, muscle spasm? Recently I have experience symptoms of depression which caused sadness, irritability, frustration etc. What is the reason for the symptoms re-appearing after you’ve been on a medication for a period – you were stable and out of the blue your symptoms re-appear. Is it possible that the medication have no effect because I have no side-effects, except for severe anxiety, panic attacks and hot flushes. I feel exhausted and fatigue has also stepped in. Maybe my medication needs to be increased or changed. For all the time I had BP my medication has been changed once or twice a year even the E.C.TC. did not help much. Tell me Dave did your mother ever consider E.CT. Please let me know what you think of that treatment because I know that is the last resort if medication don’t help and you are unstable or having severe symptoms.
Hi Dave, Everyone…
I am bipolar II, ultra rapid cycler. I would like to explain what is going on that so many of ya’ll seem to have problems with. Using the train analogy, there are bells and lights that flash “BEFORE” the train comes and we get hit with an episode. I have had bipolar II been a rapid cycler since I can remember. I had my fist suicidal thought when I was 7 yrs old. I was seriously considering it, and I guess I was too scared to do it the only way I knew how. Anyway, I have been in psychological therapy since I was 23, I am 43 now. I was abused as a child and self medicated to deal with it all. It wasn’t until I was 38 that I was diagnosed as having bipolar, but to keep this short, I was 40 before I was able to put together how to notice the signs of the train coming. Note!!! I quit self medicating at 38, other wise I could not use this skill I am about to explain…
A while back, say 7 years ago, one therapist told me to learn to “STOP THINKING” when I started to notice I was getting angry! It took a lot of hard work, but it works! There are things supporters can do to help those of us with bipolar get out of the way of the train, but the main thing to do is to teach the person with bipolar to Simply Stop Thinking when an episode is coming. It took me about 3 years, with the help of the previous 17 in therapy, and an excellent Psych who got me on the right medications to learn how to control my thinking. But the way to get out of the way of the train is to help teach and remind your loved one to stop thinking when ever they are getting upset. Granted, they have to understand and agree with you that this is what needs to be done for it to work. You can’t stop them from thinking, but the person with bipolar needs to learn to spot the warning bells and flashing lights that are triggers for them. Mine are being disrespected, that will mean I will have to stop thinking about being disrespected until I calm back down. Having money. I will have to stop thinking about spending it until I can not “Feel Compelled” to spend it. When I make a mistake, usually a stupid one, I tend to beat myself up, so I have to stop thinking about that mistake to stop beating myself up.
I practice this by absolutely stopping my thoughts before episodes, when I am calm. I just take a break and totally stop thinking for short periods of time to practice for when the trigger is pulled. Once I can stop my thinking, change the subject and think about something else, “DISTRACTION” of my own thoughts, which I do by my self, is what stops me, like you stop your car at a rail road crossing to let the train go by. Then, once the episode/train goes by, then I can resume thinking along the lines of what was triggering to me. But I had to learn to do this by my self. If you can support someone to stop thinking and think about something totally else, it is in a way a magic bullet so to speak. When they start getting upset, try to remind them that they are getting upset. They must fully acknowledge that they are trying to do work in this area and stop thinking about what is upsetting to them and think about something else until they have calmed down. We calm down in perhaps hours or days, but if we keep thinking and thinking and thinking about what makes us upset, that is what brings on episodes!!!
I hope this helps some of you know what to teach your loved ones to do, and if you are the one with bipolar to know what to do. This keeps me functioning at a high level. I also constantly look for things to be grateful for. Instead of being mad when I remember that I forgot something at home half way down the street, I make myself grateful that I remembered before I got where I was going without what I needed when I got there. Being grateful and stopping negative thoughts are the most “CRITICAL” things we can do to keep from getting rail roaded by the train! We might get hit by the train a couple times while we are learning to do this, but eventually, we get it!
Hope this helps,
Bob
Hi tried them all: I sent you some info on Bipolar III, hope it is helpful.
Cheers
Diane
Hi Dave …
To start this out i had no idea that there were different types of bipolar .. for what i have been diagnoised with i have no idea .. I’m not the only one out there that fully understand the meanings behind either stages .. if there is away of bringing us up on what each level means .. i would definitly appreciate it ..
Now to do with the train effect .. im still trying after 4yrs of bein diagnoised with bipolar to slow myself down .. ive had like 6 different medications .. none of them actually work but the one im on now helps for about 4hrs .. takes the edge off .. if you want to describe it that way .. my train just doesnt seem to want to stop .. slow a lil but that is it .. even at night .. i get approx. 3hrs sleep off and on .. then mid day i get approx. 45 minutes .. any sleeping medications i have takin have the effect of having like a hang over the following morning and i dont feel like i have slept at all ..
Besides having bipolar .. i have also been diagnoised with fibromylgia and Hep. C .. so all 3 put together makes it very difficult to deal with at any time of the day ..
Anyways .. Dave .. thank you for all the info that you have been sending to all of us about bipolar … its always great to hear other ppl’s stories about how they deal with bipolar or how their friends and family have ..
Til Next Time …
Every1 Tc and Stay Safe ..
Pollie
Greetings everyone-thought I’d join the club and add my 2 cents worth. First off, let me congratulate you, Dave, for using your GOD given gift of knowledge to educate multitudes who know or are involved with someone who suffers from this particular disease. Bipolar runs in both sides of our families, many are undiagnosed, as with my husband who is too proud, ashamed and scared to seek help, in fear of being ‘labeled’. We have two teenage boys- the oldest is autistic, and our youngest is ADHD/BipolarII. I, myself was diagnosed about 4 months ago with bipolar II. Our household may be uneventful, but never boring. Where I see bipolar symptoms in my little family, arguing, yelling,rough-housing, outbursts, well, I won’t allow myself that behavior, so I try to keep the peace whenever I can, thus, suffering in silence, all the while my diabetes takes it’s toll and when the stress factor goes beyond the richter scale, I break out in hives-EVERYWHERE. Finances play a huge part in all of our lives, especially in the current state of the economy, which makes everything seem worse. It’s very hard to focus when you’re trying to make everybody else feel calm and comfortable. While alcohol isn’t a factor and none of us have ever had any trouble with the law, my husband and I do indulge in the smoking of “herb’. Friends who have no health insurance indulge as well, because it’s cheaper than seeking treatment. On occasion we have ‘group’, where we actively listen and offer remedies to certain problems. Listen- let’s face it, the world is getting worse all the time, road rage, the homeless, the hungry…it seems like anger is everywhere. Pick up a paper, people are killing their families and themselves. I fear for the manic depressed that walk this earth undiagnosed like a ticking bomb. See? I worry about how to save the world…no wonder I can’t sleep. My life’s philosophy has always been,’Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime’. Uh, sorry, I believe I should jump off my band wagon before it turns in a novella. Dave, graciously thank you for your listening ear. Faith goes a long way and I’ve never felt ‘alone’ on my life’s journey. I send my best to your mother and to all your followers. Humbly yours, B.J.
I was always confused that I would go into a manic episode even while TAKING my meds. I can’t say WHAT the triggers were/are, but I end up getting sexually promiscuous, abusing alcohol, staying up for hours, and generally enjoying myself! When I remember all the good times I had in my life – they were associated with a manic episode!
Right now, I’m under sooo much stress from external sources, that my sex drive has reared its ugly head, and I have a “f**k buddy” who visits once or twice a week. I get it all out of my system those times, and then I’m “back to normal.” I still sometimes don’t get enough sleep, but I make up for it other days when I sleep 12-14 hours.
I take my meds religously, eat well, and exercise, and am listening for the “bells and whistles” of the train that comes when I least expect it. AND – when I’m in a hypomania (or full blown manic episode), it lasts for MONTHS before something “bad” happens that requires me to check into a rehab or hospital for treatment. The last hospitalization followed a car wreck (I wasn’t driving, but WAS drinking), that totalled my car. I also got into a physical fight with the guy who was driving my car, and nearly got thrown down a flight of stairs. When the “bad” happens, it SCARES me so much, I KNOW I’m in a mania.
To all the bipolar survivors out there – don’t we REALLY “like” the hypomania (that usually leads to a manic episode), and thus want to continue enjoying the “high” until something happens that brings us back to our senses? I’ve only had one clinical depression (one too many), but never attempted suicide in my life. That’s not to say I didn’t have suicide ideation, but only the “thoughts” about it. SO – I can’t relate to those of you who have attempted it, and come out the other side.
I don’t know WHY the meds DON’T work IN a mania. It’s just the train coming down the tracks that I don’t hear or see, that hits me, and I’m a goner. I can usually “get through” a crisis, but after it passes, THAT’S when the hypomania hits. I’m worried NOW that when the IRS and the State agree to my partial monthly payments, and I get my roommate settled, and my loan closes – I WILL get “hit by the train.”
BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good.
The thing about getting better with bipolar disorder is….the meds make you gain weight, take away your sex drive, stop you from feeling INTENSELY anything….but weren’t those wild spending sprees and nights of wild sex and getting up to no good FUN?
I had to give up drinking altogether cause of my meds…have gained 40 pounds in ten years, don’t feel like exercising other than walking the dogs, have zero sex drive. Sometimes I feel like I’ve lost my “zest” for life, but then I rememer…I have bipolar disorder. I’m lucky to feel the way I do.
Dear Dave,
Thank you for giving me a little hope in a life that I now see as filled with only darkness! I was diagnosed with bi-polar 1 disorder (borderline) recently and it is hard to take. My job is very important to me and very stressful, but I enjoy doing it, and even though my doctor says that I can go back to work, I have my doubts. But it seems, thanks to your newsletter, that this condition can be controlled with the right medications. I am on one mood stabiliser at the moment and a calming drug if and when necessary. However have been feeling down again since last morning and don’t want to slip into depression! My doctor has suggested that I may have to go for a stronger drug, but that drug I know will only knock me out fully and I don’t want this! I want to be active. Any suggestions?
i am trying to get my wife back she is living with a diffrent man and he says that she dosn`t have bi-ploar disorder and she has been dianosed twice and he dines it so can you help any dave
You know the proverb, “There’s light at the end of the tunnel?” I think the light is from another train coming at me from the opposite side of the tunnel. It has been my life, so far, anyway.
Dear David
Thank you so much.
Your site has brought me so much hope. I cannot thank you enough!
With kind regards and best wishes
Yours sincerely
Carla Martin
what are the chances my child could inherit this anyone know
David,
Today is sunday the 19 of Oct. I can say that I have been busy.
My two day out of town cost me a filthy floor, which has taken me 3 days
to get back in shape again (CLEAN). If you want to check for patience just
have a party scrub each grout place between each tile. Like I said it has
taken me 3 days.
I’m one of those folks that hates things in a disaray. I like to be able
to lay my hands on an object when I need it without having to look
all over the place for it. I also have a filing system for all of my pd bills
and an envelope for everything that I purchase like gas, food, and ect.
I also have the month and yr on envelope. So I am a very organized per
son.
So as for productivity, I have accomplished what I set out to do.
one more room to finish.
Have a great day.
carol
January 9, 2009
David: I am very disappointed in your offer; re: 87
people to join in “YOUR INNER CIRCLE”!! I read pages and pages of very interesting material and when I get to the part of signing up – at the very bottom it reads:
“After March 7, 2007 – get that 2007!!! you are not accepting money orders or certified cheques in U.S. Funds from anywhere.” What kind of ‘Crap’ is this??? I am an angry Bipolar who desperately needs help! As a Bipolar I can’t have credit cards – I wonder why? Do you know why??? So, certified cheques or money orders in U.S. Funds is how I order anything from the United States. By the way, I have a University Degree and if you think that wasn’t hard – think again! I’ve worked for the largest Companies in Canada. Imperial Oil,
Accountinging Firms and then taking a job at Bell Canada which I couldn’t pass up because of the money and
the benifits and the pension plan. There – your perfect
candidate just got away. Because you won’t take my money!!! Word gets around!! Trust me! I have a Website
also…… Sorry we couldn’t do business!
LYNN M. SHEDLER