Hi,
Is everything going well for you?
I hope so.
I normally clean on Thursdays so I was thinking of cleaning and bipolar disorder for some reason. Now you might be wondering….
Ok, so what does cleaning your house have to do with bipolar disorder, you probably want to know, right?
Actually, it was someone else, someone who has bipolar disorder who explained this concept to me.
First, she pointed out that you don’t make your bed in the living room, right? (and of course I agreed)
Then she said that you don’t wash the dishes in the laundry room, do you? (and I thought, well, that’s pretty obvious)
And then she asked me, “You don’t do your laundry in your bedroom, right?”
Now, I still didn’t know where she was going with this, but she sure had my attention. Especially because I knew it had to do with bipolar disorder, because she had the disorder and we had been talking about it.
Ok, so here was her point.
Say you’re cleaning your house. There are different rooms in your house, and you clean each room differently. So you have a system for cleaning your house.
(Aha! I went, as I finally started getting the link!)
What she was saying was that the concept was that you have to have systems. And I believe that, because I teach about many systems in my courses/systems below:
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Ok, so the concept is that you have to have systems.
I know a couple where they both have systems for everything.
In fact, each of them has different systems for some things than the other person (even people without bipolar disorder do this).
For example, the way they groom themselves is different.
The way they fill up their medication boxes is different. And also, she has to take meds both in the morning and at night, while he only has to take his at night.
But the important thing is that they each have a system for managing their medications.
The way they manage their diets is different, because they don’t like the same foods. But they have a system where they still eat their meals together. They just eat different things.
Their system for exercise is pretty much the same, though. They go to the same gym together; however, they use different machines. But they finish together and go home together. When they walk, they walk together.
They both have a system for their treatment, too. Although they see the same therapist and psychiatrist, they see them at different times, and confidentiality is observed.
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Do you see what I’m getting at?
You have to have a system for everything in order to manage your/your loved one’s bipolar disorder.
Otherwise, it will get out of control.
Just like your house will get out of control if you don’t have a system for cleaning it up!
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Post responses below
Yeah, I am Bipolar. But when depressed, my house is in chaos. But when manic, I am energtic and clean my house. And the chaos seems to disappear and my family is happy that I am cleaning, but geez, wish, they would help out more.
3 young adults and my dog Cupid, I wish they would get on board and clean up their messes too!
I am getting tired and exhausted.
Any suggestions welcomed.
That helped me out! It took my daughter all day to fold one basket of laundry, when her kids and I came home. I asked the girls to put their clothes away. The basket would have sat in the hallway for a year. My daughter was very upset, because we had toppled her system!
I am waiting to learn why and how treatment and counselling brought out her disorder very quickly. She went for alcohol and drug addiction treatment, ended up in a mental hospital, seeing things, hearing voices, people reading her thoughts so now she wears a hat.
We always thought her quick temper, controlling behavior were related to her ethnic origin so we never thought she was ill for 30 years. Thanks for all the info I am getting from you.
Hi David~
I am excited about ordering your basic program. I am a mental health worker who has been dx w/ BP I. utilize I plan to educate my clients, advocate and most importantly reduce stigma. With the parity passing- things can only get better for us!
Thanks again for your dedication to this brain illness. We can manage it.
I have a friend who thought she was Bipolar, She read a book by Karen HORNEY. It was amazing, she yelled I have found out what is wrong with me. It was written in 1950. CHECK IT OUT everyone! NEUROSIS???????
Hi Morag,
You can offer a system of rewards for your young adults helping out. It doesn’t have to be money, but small perks work just fine. Like cooking what they want for dinner, or ordering pizza on Friday if they do the work, or any thing you can think of that they like to do or have, money is just one thing. But always reward them if they do help out, don’t reward them if they don’t help out. That is a good way to enlist their help.
As for systems. I totally agree with you Dave. I have a system for my medication, I have a system for eating, I have a system in place to control my spending, I exercise and drive my car in the country when I get a chance for recreation as often as possible. I wish gas would go down some more, but thank God it has gone down to just under $3 here for regular unleaded. That is a good question, why do they call it regular unleaded? Is it regular, or unleaded? Anyway. I always see my psychologist on Friday a the same time if possible. I go to bed the same time, I wake up the same time, I do have so darn many dr. appointments that it is hard to keep a schedule, so I got a small 8X10 book/spiral to keep track of my to-do’s and my appointments. I haven’t forgotten to do one thing since I got this book. I highly recommend writing things down if someone doesn’t have a set schedule everyday like me.
Bob
To ANDREW OLIVER SATCHELL: If you don’t have something coherent and appropriate to the “lesson” of the day – PLEASE refrain from your comments. Not only are they annoying to most of us here, they bear NO relevance to what is going on. I hope the next time you blog, it will be to tell us some of your experiences with bipolar!!
I do NOT have a “system,” but know I SHOULD. I take my medications religiously, and eat at the same times every day (when I don’t get up late in the afternoon, and my schedule is blown all to heck). But I AM trying to get to sleep at a reasonable time, even though I don’t wake up as scheduled. My condo is CONSTANTLY in chaos – I remember back as far as the Third Grade, when our teacher said, “A messy desk indicates a messy mind.” Well, I HAD a messy desk, and thought that gave me a stigma as far as the other students were concerned – it hurt me. Now that I’m “grown up” and have had bipolar for 40 years, I KNOW I have a “messy mind,” but as long as I’m comfortable with it and it’s not hurting anybody else, I do the best I can when I clean.
I have someone come in and do the heavy stuff – taking out garbage and vacuuming, doing the kitchen and bathroom. I’m going to have to cut down on tham because of my finances, but there ARE certain things I CANNOT do.
BTW, I have rented my extra room! The roommate is moving in Nov. 1st! So, at least ONE of my BIG stressors is gone. Thank you for all your prayers over this concern 🙂
Bringing up the tax debt: If I were more organized, I wouldn’t have had to scramble to get the information I needed to file the “Order in Compromise.” It took me maybe, three times as long to get it in to the IRS and Dept. of Taxation than it would have been if I had a system. Believe me, I have learned my lesson.
To BOB-A-SURVIVOR – You’re teaching me SO much about being organized. I have recently been an advocate of a grocery list, and don’t buy ANYTHING that is NOT on the list. And this way, I get ONLY what I need, and don’t overspend.
BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good.
Hello David…..
I have not sent a message on here for a quite a while, no I am not ignoring you, I love your site, it is the best, life is so crazy right now
Anyways, the e-mail I do have a chance to respond to is your “house cleaning” one and Bi-polar….well let me tell you, I am very Bi-polar, and when I get in my “BP moods” I clean the house, top to bottom for hours, it is an obsession, OCD, what ever it does, with me, can’t speak for anyone esle, but cleaning has been a big OCD for me. I have done commercial cleaning, residentail cleaning…cleaning was my thing. Even if I am in the “good days” I will “clean”, and we are talking top to bottom, I just can’t stop my self when I start, and we have a pretty big house, five rooms, three level split, so it is not a small house.
So with me Bi-polar and cleaning go hand in hand with me, especially if I am cleaning someone elses house, I will become obessed in making sure it is above average clean, OCD right out…. what about anyone else?
Christina. M
Prince Goerge BC, (Canada)
I can see where disorganization creates chaos in anyone’s life. I know if my belongings were better organized and I had a system, I would not feel as badly as I do. I had the paramedics come last night to take me to the hospital and I could not find my driver’s license or other identification. I was so cufused, my head was hurting, I did not know where I was and was very disoriented. Now, I have to have an MRI of my brain and a spinal fluid test.
TO TRIED THEM ALL. Missed seeing those letters. When do you go for your MRI, and is anyone going with you? Did something happen prior to this that disturbed you alot? I am on your side wishing you the absolute best. Been thinking of you and wondering how you were, now I know you are going through a whole lot of upset. You are in my prayers. Jeannie
Tried them all: Words cannot express how badly I feel right now. I was shocked to read what happened to you. Did something specific happen to set you off, or did you just get fed up, as you said you were getting? I hope you didn’t listen to anything those negative people in your famiy had to say! Is there anything I can do do help you? Would you like me to email you my phone number so we could talk? Is your email working again? Please let me know, I am VERY worried about you.
Diane
I seem to stay more depressed than manic. I am trying to have some kind of system, but it’s really hard when you have a grown son and his pregnant fiancee who is so frikin spoiled all she has to do is walk by you and her stench is so poignant. Our son is lazy as all get out. I can’t seem to get them to help unless I lose my temper. They just can’t seem to think of doing anything on their own. I am about to lose it. My husband is the only one with a job and we are hurting really bad financially. We live in a basically one bedroom house. I just can’t seem to get a handle on things. I am totally at my wits end. I just feel like telling them to hit the @#%* road. I just don’t know what to do.
I just read all the posts before me. It really helps alot to know that one is not alone. I just actually noticed for the first time that there was a reply note. I hope I get to know you all and I will continue to read the messages I get from David. Thank you.
hello david i want to thank you very much for this message today because my life has its ups and downs . and your right everyone needs to have a system. i just wish i could only do one at a time i get so many things going at the same time. i also have short term memorie which dose not help me with manic bypolar disorder w/s .. please tell me how i can improve my short term memorie please? i am on meds now as it is. 90 % of the time i stay to my self . i dont like being imbressed when i forget things. thank you david for all of your letters. i read them everyday. that my system..