Hi,

How are you today?

I want to talk about something serious today – something that can mean the difference between success and failure with your loved one’s stability with their bipolar disorder.

Something that can mean the difference between your success or failure as a supporter of a loved one with bipolar disorder.

Something that can mean the difference between even whether your marriage is a success or not!

It all boils down to one word:

DETERMINATION

This can determine whether:

1. Your loved one succeeds or fails with
their stability with their bipolar disorder.

2. You are a success or failure as a
supporter of a loved one with bipolar
disorder.

3. Your marriage succeeds or fails.

I guess you would say that DETERMINATION is pretty important then, wouldn’t you?

I think it is, anyway.

I’ve watched people with DETERMINATION accomplish some pretty incredible
things!

I have a friend who went to school to become a respiratory therapist.

A respiratory therapist is someone who helps people to breathe better – you know, people with lung problems like asthma, bronchitis, pneumonia, emphysema, and even lung cancer.

Here she was in college at 35 years old with four children, going back to school again, and she had never flunked a test in her life!

Well, respiratory school was really hard and, guess what? (scroll down for the answer)
She not only flunked her first test, but…
(scroll down for more…)
She almost flunked out of school, until…
(scroll down again)

The dean of her school recognized her DETERMINATION to learn what she needed to learn to become a good respiratory therapist and to help people, so… (scroll down for the ending)
He put her through a battery of testing, which showed that she actually had undiagnosed ADHD!
So she went on medication for it, and ended up graduating at the top of her class!

She worked as a respiratory therapist for many years, helping lots and lots of people, both children with asthma up to adults with end-stage lung cancer.

Until she was diagnosed at 45-years-old with bipolar disorder.

Still, she had DETERMINATION.

She wasn’t going to let the bipolar disorder beat her, so she learned how to manage it, and today lives a very stable and happy life.

DETERMINATION is a good characteristic to have, whether you have bipolar disorder or are supporting someone who does.

It is a positive characteristic, and positive characteristics (and a positive attitude) are some of the things I go over in my courses/systems below:

NEW
LEARN THE SECRETS OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL WITH
BIPOLAR DISORDER?
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/bipolarmastersystem/
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
With the same DETERMINATION as this woman had, your loved one can do the things they need to do to become stable with their bipolar disorder.

With that same DETERMINATION, you can become the best supporter of a loved one with bipolar disorder in the world!

And, with that same DETERMINATION, even a marriage where one of the people has bipolar disorder can still be a successful marriage (no matter what other people say)!

So, do you see now how important DETERMINATION can be?

In what ways has DETERMINATION affected YOUR life?

Have you surpassed other people’s expectations of you, like the woman in the story, despite the odds being against you (like having ADHD or bipolar disorder)?

If so, please tell us how you did it? It might help someone else to do it, too.

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

I hope your day is going well.

Today I want to talk about responsibility.

For example, these days a lot of people who got bad mortgages blame the people who sold them.

The people who sold them, blame the people who got them.

Same thing with cars.

The people who buy them from a used car lot and then something goes wrong with the car, blame the people who sold it to them.

The people who sold it to them say they sold the car “as is,” and blame the people who bought
it.

Well, I see this in bipolar disorder too.

The people with bipolar disorder go off their medication.

Then they go into an episode.

So they blame the doctor for not telling them what would happen if they go off their medication.

The doctor blames them for not getting the right information to tell them what would happen if
they go off their medication.

Or they go into an episode and they blame their therapist for not treating them good enough.

The therapist blames them for not trying hard enough in therapy.

They blame the psychiatrist for not stopping the episode before it happened.

The psychiatrist blames them for not telling him that they were thinking they might be going into
an episode.

They blame their support group for not being there for them.

The support group blames them for not participating enough.

They blame their supporter for not noticing soon enough.

The supporter blames them for not listening when they told them that they noticed the signs of an impending episode.

The list goes on and on…

And who is really to blame?

Who didn’t take responsibility?

That’s one of the things I talk about in my courses and systems: What is the person’s responsibility, and what is the supporter’s responsibility.

NEW
LEARN THE SECRETS OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL WITH
BIPOLAR DISORDER?
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/bipolarmastersystem/
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
In the examples I used above, whose fault is it that the person went off their medication? The
person or their doctor?

Whose fault is it that the person went into an episode?

Whose responsibility was it to prevent the episode in the first place?

Is it the person with bipolar disorder’s responsibility to stay stable, or is it their doctor’s, psychiatrist’s, therapist’s, or supporter’s?

These people can all HELP, but is it really their responsibility?

No, the responsibility belongs to the person who has bipolar disorder.

They have to do the things that keep them stable.

They can get their doctor or psychiatrist to prescribe and moderate their bipolar medication.

They can get their therapist to listen to them and help them with issues surrounding their life and their bipolar disorder.

They can get their supporter to be understanding and supportive, and to help them in whatever way they can.

But they cannot ask these people to do things for them that they can do for themselves.

These things they have to take responsibility for.

Like taking responsibility for what happens during an episode.

Like taking responsibility for their own bipolar disorder.

Like taking responsibility for their stability.

What do you think?

Is it your responsibility or theirs?

Hi,

How are you today?

Today I want to talk about a lesson we can all learn from this quote I read:

“Work is more than earning money.”

Too many people equate work with having a job.

But I want you to see what this quote has to do with bipolar disorder.

Let’s replace the word “work” with “productivity.”

Now let’s talk about how important productivity is to someone who has bipolar disorder, like I do in my courses/systems.

NEW
LEARN THE SECRETS OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL WITH
BIPOLAR DISORDER?
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/bipolarmastersystem/

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
Someone who had to leave their job and stay at home because of their bipolar disorder no longer works for money, but they still need to be productive.

That’s because if they’re not, they could become bored, or idle, or stay in bed, or sleep too much, or become depressed, and all these things can become triggers to a bipolar episode.

So I think we can agree that productivity is important.

Well, that’s work!

Only it’s work without getting money for it.

Now, I could have said that it’s work without pay, but the pay you get can be more rewarding than money sometimes.

For example, if the work you do is to help your supporter around the house, then it’s rewarding, because you’re helping them not to stress out by doing too much by themselves.

It can also be rewarding because you’ll have a closer relationship by doing things together.

Your work can be your hobbies.

Your work can be just taking care of yourself and your family.

Another way you can work without getting paid is to volunteer.

You can offer your time, which is worth more than money.

If nothing else, volunteer to help at your bipolar support group.

This could be for supporters, too, because they usually have their own support group.

Or volunteer for an organization that could use your help.

There are many of these, such as Literacy Volunteers, where you help people to read who can’t read, or others who don’t know English very well and you can help them to learn it…

Or volunteer at your local Animal Shelter if you love animals…

Or help with the needy… or shut-in elderly people…

There is so much you can do that is rewarding, just by volunteering your time, that is worth more than money, and you will feel appreciated for whatever you do for a cause.

You can also do things that are productive for yourself.

You can keep a To-Do List, for instance.

Put things on the list that you want to do for that day.

(Don’t make it too long, because you don’t want to get too overwhelmed.)

Then, at the end of the day, you will feel a sense of accomplishment when you complete the things on your list.

Now, here there’s a difference between work for money and productivity as well, because you’re doing this for yourself and the management of your bipolar disorder.

This will help you to stay stable.

And sometimes working at a paying job does just the opposite – sometimes it makes you feel nervous, stressed, and anxious, which isn’t good at all for your disorder.

If you have children, being a stay-at-home parent can be work, as you know, and you don’t make money for it.

But boy can it be rewarding in other ways!

The lesson to be learned from all this is that work means using our time and skills to make things better for ourselves, those we love, and those around us.

What do you think?

Do you agree or disagree with the quote: “Work is more than earning money.”

What ways have you found this to be true?

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How’s it going today?

I hope you’re having a good day.

I have been having the worst time in the last few days dealing with a company I use for this organization called infusionsoft.

I can’t even begin to tell you all that went on yesterday. I spent about 8 hours on the phone trying to get things solved and figured out.

Anyway, my long running infusionsoft nightmare made me think about this topic today.

You know, we live in a country where there’s freedom.

And you’re probably just as grateful for that freedom as I am.

Many people have given their lives so that we could have that freedom – many still are, unfortunately.

But the US has many laws that govern it too, and we’re supposed to obey those laws.

There are penalties for breaking those laws.

It just has to be that way, right?

Or else everything would break down, and there would just be chaos!

I’m not preaching or anything, and I hope you agree with what I’m saying.

When we were little, we were taught that there are rules, and we have to obey them.

Our parents set down rules for us, and we were punished if we didn’t obey them, right?

Well, we had to obey them. We didn’t have a choice.

Some things we just have to accept in this world. We don’t have a choice.

Some things we just have to accept.

It’s like rules. We just have to accept them.

Well, it’s like bipolar disorder.

You just have to accept that you or your loved one has it.

But NOBODY said that you had to LIKE it.

Got that?

Yea, they say that you have to accept your disorder.

And I do teach in my courses/systems that you need to accept your disorder to manage it.
NEW
LEARN THE SECRETS OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL WITH
BIPOLAR DISORDER?
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/bipolarmastersystem/

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
You DO have to accept that you have bipolar disorder in order to manage it, in order to get stable.

But there is NO rule that says you have to LIKE it!

That’s not in the rule book!

What freedom there is in that!

That you can actually have the thought that you can accept the disorder but NOT LIKE IT!

I heard this young woman say that she deals with her bipolar disorder by separating herself from it.

She says that it’s easier to keep her own identity that way.

Like, she thinks of the disorder as a dragon, and she says she HATES that dragon, because she has to fight it every day.

But she can love herself, because she sees herself as kind of the damsel in distress that she has to
rescue every day from the dragon bipolar disorder.

It almost sounds like a fairy tale, doesn’t it?

With dragons and damsels in distress?

No, she’s not delusional, and she is very stable, as a matter of fact.

But she tells me that she HATES her disorder.

And I figure it’s ok for her to do that.

Because they say you have to accept your bipolar disorder, but they never said you had to like it!

That’s NOT in the rules!

Accepting your disorder, however you have to do it (not like how this girl does it is for everyone, each has to find their own way of coping with it) –

But accepting it is what you do have to do in order to become stable.

But asking you to like something like bipolar disorder is like asking someone with cancer to like their cancer!

Now, doesn’t that sound ridiculous?

Or asking someone with diabetes who, like us, has no cure, and has to take medication every day just to stay stable, if they LIKE their diabetes?

Ridiculous.

Do YOU like your bipolar disorder?

Supporter, do YOU like your loved one’s bipolar disorder?

You can accept something without LIKING it.

Agree or disagree?

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How are you?

I hope you are doing well.

Here is today’s news.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews426

College Hospital to pay $1.6 million in homeless dumping settlement
DO> What do you think of this?

Cardiff researchers to test first online treatment for bipolar depression
DO>Very interesting concept, what are your thoughts?

Alternative is great but not cure-all
DO> What do you think of this?

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews426

==>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

I hope you’re having a good day.

In one of my companies I had someone who is working for start doing some odd things.

Nothing major, really. He just simply wasn’t around to pick up the phone when I called. He was always busy on the other line.

As long as I knew this person, this was different than normal.

It deviated from the norm.

I asked him what was going on and he told me there were some things going on that he had to take care of but it would be handled by the end of the week.

Well, at first I didn’t think much about it. I mean, everyone once in awhile does things that might be a little different from usual.

Like at first, I thought it wasn’t a problem, because he was just kind of busy, which happens to people in business. And even though it deviated from the norm, I didn’t really worry about it.

But then he also wouldn’t take my calls, so that was then 2 things, again deviating from the norm.

Then he said he had things to handle, but assured me that they would be taken care of by the end of the week.

Well, guess what?

You’re right. They weren’t. Three strikes.

Definitely deviating from the norm.

I was talking to Michele about all of this and we were talking about how important it is to look for the deviation from the norm when you are a supporter of a loved one with bipolar disorder.

What’s that mean?

Well, you start to notice things your loved one may be doing that aren’t what they normally do (or don’t do things that they normally would do).

At first it might be something small, like that your loved one just isn’t hungry, or starts skipping meals.

And even though it’s deviating from the norm, you’re not concerned about it, because it’s just one thing.

Then you notice that they’re not sleeping much. Again, this is deviating from the norm. But you may not worry about it because, after all, it’s only 2 things, right?

Does this mean there is an episode coming? Not necessarily, but possibly.

I talk about the signs and symptoms of an episode in my courses/systems, and how you need to be prepared in advance for one:

NEW
LEARN THE SECRETS OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL WITH
BIPOLAR DISORDER?
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/bipolarmastersystem/

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

But then say your loved one starts talking a lot, and really fast. Now you’ve noticed 3 things deviating from the norm.

And if they start asking for money to go spend? You know they are REALLY deviating from the norm, and at this point, you’re probably thinking they may very well be going into a manic episode.

So, being a good supporter, you start watching your loved one closely for any more deviations from the norm, because these could be signs and symptoms of an oncoming episode.

And just by noticing these things closely and being aware of them, you could help your loved one to avoid that episode.

Many supporters don’t do that. They may not even realize that you always need to be on guard.

They may not even notice when their loved one is deviating from the norm.

They don’t notice the first symptom out of the ordinary.

But like I said, this may not be anything to worry about, so that could be ok.

But then they don’t notice the second symptom, either – another deviation from the norm.

And if they miss the third symptom – yet another deviation from the norm – their loved one could very well go into a bipolar episode, and the supporter just shakes their head wondering why.

You have to be vigilant.

You have to watch for any deviations from the norm.

Sometimes they don’t mean anything, but other times they can be signs of an episode coming on.

Has this ever happened to you?

What did you do?

Were you able to keep your loved one from going into an episode?

Hi,

How are things going for you today?

I hope you have a great day!

I got this email from a supporter the other day:

“Dave, I thought I was a good supporter,
and I try to do the things you tell me to do in
your emails, but my husband keeps going into
episodes anyway. When I try to help him, he
just gets mad at me, and we end up fighting.
I think I’m doing the right things, but he won’t
even listen to me. I’m so sad and frustrated.
I just don’t know what else to do. I know it’s
all my fault. I must be the worst supporter
in the world. Deborah”
——————————————————-

I’ve gotten many emails like this from supporters just like Deborah.

Now, I’m not a therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, or anyone like that, but I now how she feels,
because I went through it with my mom.

I experienced all those feelings, too, and I didn’t know what to do.

Until I developed my courses/systems, other supporters didn’t know what to do, either:

NEW
LEARN THE SECRETS OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL WITH
BIPOLAR DISORDER?
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/bipolarmastersystem/

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

But let me address Deborah’s email directly, since so many supporters are going through
the same thing.

The biggest thing I sense is GUILT.

And that is very common.

And what I have to say to that is:

IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!

You could be the ace, #1, absolutely BEST supporter in the world, but if your loved one refuses to do what they’re supposed to do for their OWN stability, then nothing you do is going to change that.

Again, it is NOT your fault. It has nothing to do with you.

It is THEIR problem, and not yours.

Now, Deborah says that she follows what I say in my emails for supporters.

But I also write emails for people who have bipolar disorder.

And if her husband was doing what I told him to do in my emails to him, he would be listening to her, he would be doing what he needs to be stable, he wouldn’t be fighting with her, and he
sure wouldn’t be going into episodes, now would he?

It sounds like Deborah is trying to do the right things.

She is trying to help her husband.

She is trying to be supportive.

She is trying to get her husband to do the things he should do to stay stable.

But you can’t force someone to do something that they don’t want to do.

That’s where her frustration and sadness are coming from.

But here’s the most important thing (and I hear this from so many supporters):

Deborah is BLAMING herself for her husband’s bad bipolar behavior and lack of stability.

You can tell, when she says, “It’s all my fault.”

Well, I’m not a psychologist or psychiatrist, but it sure doesn’t seem like it to me!

It seems to me like she’s trying everything she can to be supportive to her husband.

How is it her fault that he won’t listen to her and won’t let her help him?

He is an adult, and makes his own choices. He can choose to let her help him or not. He can choose to listen to her or not. He can choose to be stable or not.

It is NOT her fault if he makes the wrong choices.

“I must be the worst supporter in the world,” she says.

But the very fact that she reached out to me and sent me that email proves that she isn’t!

The fact that she is asking for help for her and her husband proves that she isn’t!

Have you ever felt that way?

Maybe you’re even in the same situation that Deborah’s in right now.

What would you say to Deborah?

What do you think she should do?

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.