Bipolar Supporter Blog

Hi,

How’s it going today? Yesterday something
happen to me that happens all the time
when people are dealing with bipolar disorder
or mental health in general. I call it
“the turn around.”

It’s kind of funny but I like to give things
names. My friends make fun of me about that.

Let me explain what happen and then explain
what the turn around is. Okay, I am currently
moving. If you have been on my list for more
than a week, you are probably really tired
of me talking about it.

You might think, “Dave I am tired of
you moving, I wish you would just move,
what the heck is wrong with you?”

I don’t know what’s wrong with me either.
The move has taken way longer. It’s because
there are a bunch of people involved and
each one has let me know. Well not everyone
but most of the people. Anyway, let me get
to the important bipolar disorder warning.

So yesterday I went into a big store that
was suppose to measure my window and make
my blinds. I started this entire process
July 3, 2007. I just got my measurements
for the blinds yesterday. It’s only suppose
to take like 3 to 4 days. That’s it.
I had to call the store maybe 7 to 8 times
and go by and try to hunt down the measuring
people or people with the information. I made
about 4 trips with the right people being
“out”, “sick”, “on lunch”, etc.

So yesterday I was super mad. I called up
the manager of the store and I got the
operations person. To make a really long
story, I explain what happen from a to
z with a time line. Guess what? He turns
it around on me. He did the turn around.
The sad part is, I know what happens in
mental health with let’s say bipolar disorder.
How the turn around is used all the time,
but I wasn’t expecting it. So I kind of
got caught off guard until about 25 minutes
into the conversation.

Basically he said that it was my fault
because it took so long. And there was the
4th of the July holiday and I didn’t
give the store the right phone number. And
I didn’t come into the store fast enough. And
if one measuring person was taking too long
then I could have requested another one (like
I would know that), on and on and on.

He basically talked down to me like I had no
clue and then kept saying, “I don’t know why
you are getting so wound up.” Hmmm. Maybe
because I spent money to get some stuff and
it took like 12 days longer than they told me
it should.

Then I used a technique you should and probably
are going to have to use for bipolar disorder.
As this person was talking to me I finally realized
he is no different than a bad mental health worker/
provider so I prepared to treatment this way.

I finally said, “Dave (that was his name too),
you seem to be doing something I call the turn
around in mental health terms. You are not
taking responsibility for what’s been going on
and turning it around on me the customer. I have
not done and thing wrong and you are suppose
to be about customer service. You have failed.
Because I run several mental health sites including
one that gets over 1 million visitors a year, I am
an expert at dealing with very difficult people
who don’t accept responsibility for a given matter.”

I then asked him for:

His first and last name
His title
His boss’s name
And thanked him for his time. I then indicated that I would
be calling corporate to get a third party to evaluate the
situation and the timeline to help figure out what should
be done since he was turning it around on me. I told him
how I was going to write probably a 3 to 5 page letter
by tomorrow and send and call as well.

I noted that I had times/dates and people. I then asked
several times if he was new to being a manager
because he seemed to have a different philosophy
then most people that do customer service or are in
charge of a store.

IMMEDIATELY he changed his tune. He said, “Well you
don’t have to do all that. What will make you happy?”

I told him. I want my measuring fee back, I want
the right measurements and I want some to give me
the right estimate on how much my blinds are
going to cost and to sit with me for 10 minutes
to make sure I am getting the right stuff. I know
NOTHING about blinds.

He said “oh, okay, no problem.” So it was done.
It took 5 minutes after I got tough with him.

LESSONS TO LEARN FOR BIPOLAR DISORDER

I really want to warn you. And I am not kidding
around. You will find in mental health you’re
going to get the turn around all the time. People
in mental health almost never accept responsibility.
And if you have bipolar disorder, it’s worse. It’s
so easy to blame it on you because you have a mental
illness.

If anything goes wrong, most places and people in
mental health will simply try to turn it around
on you, blame you, make you go away WITHOUT what
you should or what you really want and beat
you into the ground while making you feel dumb.
This is the truth. I am going to get tons of
hate mail from people who work in the field
telling me that what I say is not true.

It’s true.

So, here’s what you do. When you are going
to deal with someone for a mental health related
issue like:

Why medication was wrong
Why a prescription wasn’t filled
Why an insurance bill was not paid or overcharged
Why you can’t see your loved one’s doctor
Why you were overcharged for something
Why your loved one was put somewhere they weren’t
suppose to
Why you or your loved one didn’t get a part of care
you were suppose to
Why the police mistreated you or your loved one
ETC.

Most of the time, you will get the turn around.
They will try to turn it around on you. Blame you.
Be prepared. Get a small note book and carry it
with you at all time. Write first and last names
down, times and places. Make notes. People hate
to give their first and last name. They hate
when you talk about writing their boss or
the head of the organization. It scares them.

They don’t want you to make trouble for them
because whatever bad they are doing, they
are doing to many other people so if they
keep you quiet they can keep on doing it.

Final thing, make your requests reasonable
not a joke.

In my courses/systems many people who
I interview talk about the turn around
all the time and how it’s a big problem
in the field and some ideas on how to
deal with it. I feel that my method works
very well even though you have to be tough:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

Well I have to run. Catch you tomorrow. I really
hope this makes sense because this is really
serious stuff.

Did you know that the big episode my mom
went into starting in 2003 through 2004
was because her OLD doctor would not
put her in the hospital even though my
mom asked him to multiple times. Imagine
that. My mom asked to go to the hospital
because she was very sick. He didn’t respond
at all and she got worse and worse. When I questioned
him, he turned it around on her basically saying
she didn’t ask him correctly? He’s a dummy.

POST RESPONSES TO THIS EMAIL HERE

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com

Hi,

How’s it going? Yesterday I sent an email
about how he a positive attitude makes
all the difference when supporting someone
with bipolar disorder.

I got some emails from people saying that
I am contradicting myself.

About what? Well they are saying that on
the one hand I say that you shouldn’t be
negative towards someone with bipolar
disorder. They (the people who wrote me),
said that I say: You shouldn’t say the person
can’t be successful, is child like,
needs constant monitoring, is a pain,
is a major problem.

And they say (the people writing me) that
I also say that you should have a positive
attitude and hope for the best but plan
for the worst.

So they are basically saying that on
the one hand I say “Don’t be negative
towards people with bipolar disorder.”
But they are saying on the other hand
I say, “Plan for the worst” which is
negative.

Let me try to clarify how I think about
this. It’s true. I think that you should
have a positive attitude when you are
dealing with bipolar disorder. Whether
you have the disorder yourself or you
are supporting someone with bipolar disorder.

However you have to have a realistic
attitude as well. You have to realize
that bipolar disorder is a mood disorder
or mental illness that affects the
way someone thinks and his/her moods.

I don’t think that I am contradicting
myself when I say that you need a positive
attitude BUT at the same time you have to
plan for the worst.

Let me try to give an example of how
I think people should NOT be.

You should be a caregiver or supporter
of someone with bipolar disorder and walk
around and say things like:

-my life sucks because I support someone with
bipolar disorder

-my loved one is such a pain in the neck

-I hate being a caregiver

-Why me? Why did I have to have a loved
one with bipolar disorder

-I can’t stand them

-I hate my life

-They are a liar

-I hate the position that I am in

These are all examples of someone with
a poor attitude. They are actually real things
that have been said to me over 2 years of
volunteering in 3 different places in
New Jersey.

So that’s an example of being negative.

But you can be positive and at the same
time realistic and plan for the worst.
For example:

-I love my loved one BUT I have to plan
if he/she goes into an episode

-Being a caregiver is tough BUT I’ll get
through it because I am tough myself and
I have a lot of resources at my disposal

-We don’t have a lot of money now because
systems weren’t setup and my loved one
wasn’t getting the right treatment BUT now
we have the systems in place, and I am working
to improve my c.redit score and also s.tart
a b.usiness on the side to make extra money.

-We can’t go to late night parties because of
my loved one. BUT we can do lots of things in
the day.

-My loved one has a mental illness that is
very serious. BUT it could be worse, my loved
one could have a deadly fatal illness with no
cure like certain cancers. (REREAD THIS 25 times
because it’s true. Bipolar Disorder is not
as bad as many illnesses people get these
days.)

See what I mean? Look at those statements.
So I would just like to repeat, I am not
contradicting myself. You have to have a positive
attitude but at the same time plan for the
worst. Nothing contradictory about that.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

Well I have to take off for the day. I have
to wait for the phone person to fix my
phone so I finally can have a new phone in
my new place that I am moving into.

Hey someone wrote me that I need to buy
a course on how to move because it’s taking
me too long. That person is right. I should
have but I don’t know where to buy it :).

If you sell one forward me a website address 🙂

See you tomorrow.

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com

Hi,

How’s it going? It’s 6:47am Monday July 19, 2007 and
I am writing you this email about something really
important.

I was thinking of this concept because of
my move that has not gone to well. If
you are new to my list, I have been moving
over the last week or so and it’s been
kind of a disaster.

I wrote an email the other day about how
I had incorrect expectations about how the
move would be easy and when I changed my
expectations I was less frustrated.
I indicated this is the same thing
with bipolar disorder.

Many people expect that medication will
work right away, coping strategies
will work instantly, doctors will be falling
over themselves to help you or your loved
one with bipolar disorder, money will not
be an issue, things will fix themselves
right away. If you don’t know this already,
everything that I wrote is really the opposite
with bipolar disorder.

I wrote this the other day. But today I want
to talk about another very important
concept–attitude. It makes all the difference.

I notice that many bipolar supporters and caregivers
have horrible attitudes. I can understand why. If
you have been beaten down by a loved one’s bipolar
disorder for a long time, you may become: negative,
cynical, doubtful, skeptical, angry, hateful, resentful,
etc.

But here’s the deal. The worst your attitude becomes
the more difficult it is to deal with a loved one’s
bipolar disorder.

I can say this because I use to have a bad attitude
with my mom’s bipolar disorder. I was everything I
just described and more.

But these days, I have a better attitude. My attitude
can be summed up with the following statement

I hope for the best but plan for the worst.

This concept has served me very well with bipolar
disorder.

Let’s take a look at it. What does it mean to hope
for the best. Well that means I hope my mom does
great, never goest into another episode, her
bipolar disorder is nonexistent, it creates
no problems at all.

But I plan that she will go into an episode, her
doctor may retire, her medications could stop
working, she may refuse to go into the hospital,
etc. I have a plan for the WORST case senarios.

Some call me negative but this way works for
me and many other people. The alternative to
this is to hope for the best and plan for
the best things to happen.

My dad kind of operated like this. He always
imagined that everything would just work out
like magic. I don’t know why but that’s how
he handled it. And it NEVER did.

I speak to a ton of bipolar supporters and
many do the same exact thing. I use to preach
a warning sermon to them all but now I just
let it go. I tell them how I think and just
a simple warning how if you don’t think this
way. But I will tell you, if you don’t think
the way I do, I think it’s kind of be
really hard to be a supporter.

Why? Well because bipolar disorder is tricky.
It’s like a cunning master con artist. It’s not
your loved one who is the manipulator it’s his/her
disorder. And if you imagine a person that is a master
con artist, would you think everything would work
out just right?

Also if you HAD to deal with a master con artist,
what kind of attitude would you have? You would
have to have one of acceptance and one of trying
to prevent the person from getting over on you.

In my head, call me crazy, but I think of
everything this way. There is my mom and there
is my mom’s bipolar disorder. It’s her bipolar
disorder that’s the problem not her. It’s (bipolar
disorder) the enemy
and that’s what I focus on. I know it’s a slick
formidable enenmy that I have to stay on top
of.

Does that make sense? Some might read this and
think I am out of my mind. I have lost it. Maybe moving
has made me finally lose it 🙂 LOL.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

Reread my email a few times. It does make sense. I am
not telling you what to do but consider what your attidue
is and how you handle being a supporter.

I have to run now. Have a good day. Catch you tomorrow.

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com

Hi,

How’s it going? I don’t have much time today because
I have to run. In the middle of moving, yesterday
I got a call on my cell
phone from someone who got one of my courses
and she said she was amazed how much f.ree information
she got on bipolar medications using a very simple
technique in my course.

It’s so simple that I can explain it in this
email easily.

How do you get f.ree information on bipolar
medications? The answer is by calling
the toll f.ree number of the manufacturer
or the medication or going to the drug
company’s website.

You’ll find tons of f.ree information
and almost the side effects that one may
experience.

Here are some other places you can get information
on bipolar medications.

-From your doctor
-The manufacturer of the bipolar medication’s website.
So, each medication is made by someone. That person
will have f.ree information on the medication on their
website and might even have an entire website devoted
to the bipolar medication.

IMPORTANT NOTE

If you are bad at internet research, simply
ask a friend, a person at the library or a smart
kid to help you. You can go to stores like staples
and they are filled with smart kids who you can
ask internet research questions about and they
will show you. They have lots of smart kids. I know
many people who just go to a local staples and
get f.ree help over there.

-Toll f.ree phone number of manufacturer. Most of
the drug companies have toll f.ree numbers and
you can call and talk to real live human beings
who actually know what they are talking about.
Check your bottle, check the drug company’s website,
and you’ll find this phone number.

-From resources that are written in hard copy
in the library. Go to a big library, ask the
reference librarian to help you find credible
information on the medications you are looking
into. Stress you need it to be credible.
-SOME and I stress SOME websites online.

WARNING!

Watch out for information you get on the internet
or bipolar supporter groups in reference to
medications. Most of it’s wrong, or not totally
correct. I especially hear lots of incorrect information
disseminated from local support groups. How do I know?
I have been volunteering at several for 2.5 years now,
so I know.

Also be careful of what you hear from people reporting
side effects. Many people often exaggerate what
the side effects really are because they hate
medication and want to suggest it’s super
bad. It’s not. Medication is the key to bipolar
disorder. Period. No ifs, ands or buts.

Now after you get all this f.ree information, make
sure you have system to reduce side effects.
This is a more complicated issue.

In my courses/systems I go over this:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

BUT the bottom line is, you have to work
with your doctor when you or your loved one
has side effects. Don’t hide anything. Report
EVERYTHING to your doctor. AND, after you
get your f.ree information on you or your
loved one’s medication, you then know what
side effects to look for and report.

Right now, take the time to go and get some
f.ree information on you or your loved one’s
bipolar medication. It’s totally f.ree so
you have nothing to lose. Do this today
and don’t wait.

I have to run now. Catch you tomorrow. Have
a great day.

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com

Hi,

How’s it going? I hope you are doing well. Well,
you might know by now that I am moving from
one place to another. It’s been a total nightmare.
Everything has taken longer and gone wrong.

-AC broken
-Cable broken
-Lost furniture
-Damaged furniture
-No water
-No power
-Internet not working.
Etc.

I am really annoyed. BUT there is an important
lesson for bipolar disorder in here.

I have been explaining to someone all my problems. And
this person said to me, “What did you expect?”
I thought about it and said, “I guess it would
take a week and be done.” She laughed and
asked how many times have you moved and when
was the last time you did? I said the last time was
a while ago.

She said, “Well you have no clue. Moving is
never easy.” She said, “you have to expect
delays and problems or you will get mad.”
She then went on to explain how no matter
how hard she planned, she had problems
moving the 5 times she did.

I then go to thinking about bipolar
disorder and the problem of expectations.

Many people expect:

-Bipolar Disorder Medication to work fast
-Doctors to know the right medication immediately
-There to be no side effects with medication
-The mental health system to want to help
you or your loved one.
-People to be courteous and nice
-Doctors and therapists to have answers to all your
questions.
-M.oney to never stand in the way of treatment
-You or your loved one given lots of time to talk
about everything
-Medications to be reasonably priced

None of the above is reality. Actually it’s the
opposite. So when you are dealing with
bipolar disorder, expect delays, problems, difficulty,
unknowns, things you have to figure out. The one
thing you try to do is gain knowledge from others
or from material like mine:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

To help to reduce the delays and problems. BUT, even
with my material, there will be problems and delays
just not as many.

When you are dealing with bipolar disorder, the illness
is complex and random and you can’t plan for everything–
you would love to but you can’t.

Incorrect expectations creates major
problems with bipolar supporters and those with bipolar
disorder. I especially see many people with bipolar
disorder get close to stable and then quit their medication,
stop going to therapy, or stop going to see the
doctor. Why? Because they aren’t seen the exact results
they want fast enough. So, they almost get to the
finish line and then fall short and lose the game so
to speak.

People get really frustrated because they don’t
realize what to expect.
If everyone in the system just said it
will take time, we aren’t perfect, hang in there and
people could see more case studies of those who were
successful both supporters and survivors, and the
time it took to achieve success, more people
would be successful and not give up because of the
expectation problem.

This is one of the reasons that I have an audio
module called my mother’s story where I detail exactly
how long it took her to become stable. I explain everything
in great detail.

It’s the same with moving I guess. I had the wrong expectations.
I expected everything to get done fast. Now I have a different
attitude. I expect to take time and if it’s quicker I am
happy.

When I was first helping my mom, I wanted results FAST,
FAST, FAST. They didn’t come. Then eventually I realized
that it would take time. Actually I figured more than a
year to clean up everything but her de.bt. Changing
my expectations made things much easier on me.

I have shared this method with others and it’s really
helped. I hope it does for you as well.

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com

PLEASE FORWARD TO YOUR FRIENDS

Hi,

Here is the current Bipolar Disorder news. There
is some really interesting stuff. It costs me a lot
of money to put it together so I URGE you to read
it.

Take some time now.

Visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews333

There’s some really interesting news stories this week.
Take a look at them. Also, write me some feedback by
visiting my blog below.

Here are some of the headlines:

Petersen suicide ‘no more likely in jail’

Dad gets 7 1/2 to 30 years for torturing daughter

LA bipolar inmate charged with cellmate’s death

The Bipolar Child: The Definitive and Reassuring Guide to …

Sally Fields’ Golf Obsession

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews333

My Resources For Bipolar:

Quickly And Easily Explain Bipolar To People
Go here for more information.
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/explainingbipolar

Need Money Because Of Bipolar Disorder?
Go here for more information
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarbusiness

Dating Someone With Bipolar?
Go here for more information
http://www.BipolarCentral.com/bipolardating

Want To Marry Someone Who Has Bipolar?
Go here for more information
http://www.BipolarCentral.com/bipolarmarriage/

Need Affordable Health Insurance When Dealing With Bipolar Disorder?
Go here for more information
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/insuranceguide/

Problems With Drugs, Alcohol And Addiction?
Go here for more information
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolaraddiction/

Trying To PREVENT A Divorce From Someone With Bipolar Disorder?
Go here for more information:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolardivorce

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

How’s it going? I must say, I am have a super hard
time with my move. It’s been a nightmare. But, on
Saturday or maybe Sunday, I am going to be sending
out an email about an important concept that
you can use with bipolar disorder that I have
used while moving. You’re going to like it
and it’s SUPER important.

Well yesterday I was checking my email and I got
this email:

“Take me off your list, I am Bipolar,
I don’t want to be part of your mass marketing
campaign. I have enough problems. I hop your mother
is alright, I hope she is getting some compansation,
considering you are riding her mental illness for profit.”
-Chris

======
I get probably 5 of these a day about of about 800
responses.

Obviously this person is totally clueless when it comes
to running an organization. I did use to take these
things personally but now I realize most of the people
that write things like this are really sick. Also
they really have no idea what they are talking about.

They think:

Writers are f.ree
Advertising is f.ree
Websites are f.ree
Paper is f.ree
Cds are f.ree
Shipping is f.ree
Boxes are f.ree
Staff is f.ree
Etc.

When I have confronted people who have written
me nasty emails, I find that they are
really sick and I feel bad for them.

Today is a good day to talk about this. Remember
bipolar disorder is a mood disorder and people can
say and do things they normally wouldn’t do.
This is very hard for people to understand. It use
to be really hard for me to understand.

Back when I started, people could just call me
up. This was odd. I would have people call me at
like 1:00pm and scream at me. Then 15 minutes later
email me that I was doing such a great job. I was
new at this all and it was really strange. It was
hard for me to take.

I use to get mad. I think the thing that would get
me the most was when people would say that I was
part of giant conspiracy with drug companies trying
to medicate them so they couldn’t function. That
would really make me mad. I have some really mean
emails, voicemails and letters in the mail about
how I am a “tool” of the drug industry and I am
liar. I don’t have a mother with bipolar disorder
and this is all made up to sell bipolar disorder
medications.

Sounds crazy? Well it is. The reason why I think
medication is so important is because of what I have
seen. EVERYONE that I know who is stable and doing
well is on medication. EVERYONE not some people but
EVERYONE. That’s the bottom line.

Anyway, you have to learn not to take things personally.
And if you have bipolar disorder, I have an important
message for you later on in this email.

Anyway, back to my point before. When I was first
helping my mom, she would say the craziest things to me
and I would not understand why. Then I wasted my time
defending myself.

Then I realized bipolar disorder is a mood disorder and
I just started to ignore anything that was an attack
and not take it personally. That made me feel a lot
better.

I highly recommend that you do this as well. Imagine me.
I get up to 1200 emails a day. About 1% of them are
super negative and are sent from very sick people or
people who have no idea what they are talking about.
The person above who also wrote me the email that
posted in my email sent another one that I can’t
even post because of the language.

Last week, I received multiple threats of harm
from someone and this week that person says I am
doing a great job.

I wanted to write you this, to remind you
that I get attacked and you may too if you are
a bipolar supporter but all of us can’t take
any of this personally. I know it’s easier said
then done. I have come a long way, if my mom says
something to me or I get something from one of my
subscribers, these days, I am unfazed. But it took
me about 1.5 years to get this way.

Anyway, if I took it all personally, I would get
super mad each day. It does take time to develop
the skill of not taking things personally. But it’s
totally possible.

Just remember who your loved one is when he/she is
stable. And compare that when bad things are done
or said. This will help you realize it’s not really
them acting out of saying things, it’s their bipolar
disorder and that’s the enemy.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

IF YOU HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

Note: Notice I had if you have it,
not if you are it. I hate when people say
“I’m bipolar.” It drives me crazy. You
have the disorder you aren’t it.

Anyway, if you have bipolar disorder, you have
to learn how to ignore totally stupid things
that stupid people may say to you about
your disorder. For example, my brother’s wife’s
brother once said that and I quote (and he
said this at Thanksgiving), “Bipolar people
have their wires crossed and that makes them
crazy.”

I was so mad when he said this I was going
to verbally destroy him BUT my mom kept
hitting my leg not to say anything and she
made me promise not to say anything and let
it go. This was about 2 years ago and yes
I did take it personally because he was
attacking my mom.

Anyway, I have heard some of the dumbest things
from people in reference to people with a mental
illness. If you have bipolar disorder, you have
to learn to ignore this kind of nonsense. Don’t
take it personally. I know it must be tough.
I don’t have bipolar disorder myself but I would
be super annoyed if I heard someone say something
about my disorder that was way out in left field.

Well I have to run now, more moving related things
and I have to go to work. Have a great day.

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com

Hi,

How’s it going? I hope you are doing well.
I wanted to drop you a quick email today about
something really important about bipolar disorder.
I call it the small things make the difference.

Now, you know that I am a HUGE believer in medication
for bipolar disorder but there are other things
that I have seen with the people who work for me
and my own mother that make a huge difference as well–
it’s the small things people might take for granted.

Bipolar supporters and also people with bipolar
disorder need to realize this. I don’t even think
most doctors fully appreciate how impactful the
small things are on bipolar disorder.

You might be wondering, “Dave, what are the
small things?”

Here’s are just some of them (for people with
bipolar disorder):

-Keeping stress low
-Eating well and avoiding trigger foods (sugar is a
trigger food for my mom…meaning too much of it
can significantly contribute to her going into a bipolar
episode
-Having a routine if you have bipolar disorder
-Not watching TV late at night (several people I know with
bipolar disorder report too much TV at night can contribute
to a bipolar episode)
-doing positive self talk
-Taking medication at the right time that your doctor recommends
-Taking medication consistently
-Getting so many hours of sleep

Now if you are a bipolar supporter, you should be helping
your loved one with bipolar disorder accomplish the small
things and you should not be creating problems for them.

Let me explain. Okay if you are a bipolar supporter and
you and your loved one make a list of all the small things
that must be done for your loved one to manage his/her
bipolar disorder then you should help to make sure that
list is accomplished each day.

I find that many supporters are not helpful. Some by accident
others just really don’t try to be helpful. Let me give
you an example so you are clear. Okay, so if you know
your loved one should not be around lots of stress, has
to take medication later in the evening and needs to get
at least 8 hours of sleep, if you decided to constantly
recommend going to late night parties each weekend,
you would be part of the problem not part of the solution.

Does that make sense? Even my own dad comes up with
some ideas and I am like, “Dad, how is that going
to work for mom?” He says “Oh, yea you’re right.”
But then I think in my head, I wonder why he doesn’t
think of this before I say something.

What you should do now. You should make a list
of all the small things that you feel will lead
to either your or your loved one’s stability with
bipolar disorder.

Then you should work to make sure these small things
happen on a daily basis.

It sounds really simple but it’s powerful. I have
seen time and time again, even people taking medication
find that if they don’t do many of the small things right,
it negates the effectiveness of the medication.

For example, if my mom doesn’t get any sleep for many days
in a row, and watches tv late at night, her bipolar medication
doesn’t work right and she becomes unstable. I have no
idea but this is the case with her.

In my courses/systems, most of the successful people
who are interviewed talk about the importance of
the small things and it was through these interviews
I began to focus on them.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

Well I have to run now. Can you believe this? As
a side note, it’s taken me about 45 minutes to think
about and type this email up. I have been on hold
with Sprint customer service trying to undo a bill
that I got from them for a cell phone I do not
own and know nothing about. I must say, sprint has
horrible customer service. Last week I waited more than
55 minutes and never spoke to someone. It’s a total
joke.

Anyway, there is a good lesson to be learned with
this which is persistence. When you are supporting
a loved one with bipolar disorder, many times you will
be faced with people, places and things that almost
seem impossible to deal with. They will lie to you,
stall, try to block you, etc. when you are trying to
help yourself or your loved one.

Make sure you take great notes on who you talk to. And
here is another tip that I am using right now with
sprint, you go into these things knowing they are going
to take a long time to deal with. You have something
else to do so that you can occupy your time as you
wait to get through the system.

Anyway, I have to run. Remember this tip because I GUARANTEE
if you are dealing with a mental illness you will be faced
with people that are like the sprint people I am dealing
with now.

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com

Hi,

How are you? Yesterday I sent you an email about
a person that I interviewed that was really
successfully managing his bipolar disorder.

I said in the email that he talked about
“catching” a bipolar episode before it became
a full fledged episode. He said that if
you don’t catch it in time, it has to
run it’s course.

I agree with what he is saying and think his
thinking makes perfect sense. With that said,
I received emails from people asking if you
could catch bipolar disorder from someone.

Many bipolar supporters indicated that they
felt like they were catching bipolar disorder
or becoming bipolar from being around their loved
one who has the disorder and is not stable.

Here’s the deal. First let me say I am not a
doctor and not offering medical advice. Based
on what I know and have read and I have studied
this for a long time now, you can NOT catch
bipolar disorder.

BUT, I know for sure, there are these situations
that can make a person feel like they are catching
bipolar disorder from someone else.

If you are around an unstable person with bipolar
disorder long enough you may:

-start mirror their behavior
-get really frazzled and start acting erratic
-start to feel angry and have mood swings yourself
which tends to go along with your loved one’s mood swings
-get depressed about the situation you find yourself in
supporting a loved one with bipolar disorder
-feel really angry that you are not making progress with your
loved one
-scream and yell at other people because you are taking out
your anger on them
-find yourself missing appointments because you have lost track
of time trying to help your loved one
-feel like you are going “insane” because your loved one accuses
you have so many things, and says them with such certainly,
you feel almost crazy when you hear the accusations.

If you look above some of these things I listed are signs
of bipolar disorder. SOME but not all. And there’s a lot
that goes along with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder. I find
that if you are experiencing the feelings that I just wrote,
it’s perfectly normal if you are supporting someone with
bipolar disorder and they are not stable.

It’s not that you are catching bipolar disorder rather
your situation is causing you to feel a lot of things
that the person with the disorder actually can feel.

THERE’S A SOLUTION

The solution to this problem is to focus on getting
your loved one proper treatment. Once your loved one
has proper treatment, he/she will not do all the things
that cause you to feel like you are catching bipolar
disorder. You may be thinking, “Well Dave, that’s common
sense.” Although it may be common sense, it’s really
uncommon with many supporters in this situation. Most
keep banging their heads against the wall not really
having any strategy, focus or goal rather only
hoping for some kind of miracle that will fix their
loved one and make all the problems go away.

This won’t happen generally. If you are a supporter,
you have to help your loved one. And I will say this.
If I had bipolar disorder, I would want someone who
is my supporter to go all out to help me get the
right treatment so I would be stable and not be
doing and saying things that create lots of problems.

In my courses/systems:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

Many supporters talk about feeling like they
were going insane or that they were getting sick
themselves. BUT, the people who are success when
it comes to supporting someone with bipolar disorder
focus on getting a loved one into treatment even
if they don’t want to go. This is why in my material
for supporters I have a lot of information and strategies
on how to get someone into treatment that doesn’t want
to go.

Well I have to take off for the day. Have a great day
and see you tomorrow.

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com

Hi,

How are you? I hope you are doing well. I must
say, I did a FASCINATING interview with a former
drug dealer who has bipolar disorder. I want
to stress again FORMER drug dealer.

This 60 minute interview was incredible. This
guy knows his stuff when it comes to bipolar
disorder.

One thing he talked about was about was
catching bipolar disorder before it goes
into a full blown episode

I have never really thought of that term
or concept. BUT, that’s what I do with
my mom. At first I see if she is going
to catch her own bipolar disorder episode
and if not, I will step in if I know
what’s going on. My dad is suppose to do
the same thing but isn’t really on top
of things.

Anyway, this particular person was telling
me, something I totally agree with,
that you can catch many episodes but then
there’s a point where the episode is to
far along to stop it and it has to run
it’s course.

He indicated that the key to his
successes with bipolar disorder was to
see a great doctor, work with him/her
regularly, take medication and go
in for tune ups regularly and go to
a therapist AND having one or more
solid supporters around you.

This person has to get a number of
“tune ups” with his medication. He said
that he learned a while ago that his medicine
is not set in stone and he has to go in
for regular visits to his doctor.

It was interesting to hear how important
he thought therapy was. This particular
person is 6′ 5” 260 pounds with two
black belts. He’s obviously a tough
person. I told him that some guys
think therapy is for woman or for wimps (which
I do NOT). He laughed and said it’s not
and it’s for smart people and those
that want to do well with bipolar disorder.

There are many people that think therapy is
for wimps. It’s crazy. BUT this guy is no
wimp. I am told that he is like a one man
army if need be. HE goes to therapy and loves it.

I must say it was an amazing interview.
This person is from the south, really quiet,
soft spoken and you just would never know that
a) he had bipolar disorder, b) he was a former
drug dealer c) he had so many strategies on how
to manage bipolar disorder.

I really enjoyed the fact that he stressed how
it’s possible to have bipolar disorder and have a
normal life. He says he has a normal life. Meaning
a life like everyone else.

In all my course/systems:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

My goal is to teach things that help a person
have a normal life. I think that in the mental
health world, many people just think that
those with a mental illness can’t have a normal
life.

I know there are some that maybe can’t. But I haven’t
met any people like that. Even the worst people that
I have met there is hope for. AND I notice the worst
most unstable people become stable and productive
when they get proper treatment and follow a proper
plan.

Without a proper plan and treatment my mom would
be totally unstable and unable to be lived with. She
would be probably homeless.

I must say, I have a lot of friends with mental
illnesses and also many people who work for me
now and they all have normal lives. But 90% of
them use to have nightmare lives that were
NOT normal. They weren’t normal because they didn’t
follow a good system.

Always remember if you are supporting an adult,
supporting a child or have bipolar disorder yourself
the goal is to be in a situation that doesn’t require
24 hour a day monitoring and there is a normal life.
I think a lot of people forget this.

The person that I interviewed said, that was always his
goal.

Which points out something important as well. The power of
goal setting and focus. The person I interviewed set a goal
and focused on it and realized this goal. I notice that many
people who are caregivers of those with bipolar disorder
or have bipolar disorder themselves do not have clear
goals related to any of the disorders they are dealing with.

You have to start setting goals. When I started with my
mom, my goal was to help her become independent of me.
I accomplished this goal. I still support my mom but
she is not totally dependent on me.

As for the interview it’s going to be part of a new
course that I am working on that not coming out
for a long time. BUT I may include it as part of the
Bipolar Inner Circle next month if people are interested
in that.

And if there is enough interest, I would ask this
person to go on a teleseminar where he would do a live
presentation and then take 30 minutes of questions
at the end. This would be for those in the Bipolar
Inner Circle as well.

If you are interested in this, drop me an email at
feedbacktodave@mentalhealthworld.net

Hey I am still moving. It’s a total joke. I am the
worst mover in the entire world. I had a giant box
of stuff and everything fell out the bottom when I walked
with it. I looked like a fool in front of my new neighbors
:).

Hey have to run. Talk to you tomorrow.

Your Friend,

Dave

P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/

P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com