thank you so much for your advice….its very helpful. i’m a supporter and my ex/boyfriend has the disorder, but refuses medication right now. he been calling me since he told me we should break up…then out of no where he said i told u i wanted to break up and you are pushing a relationship on me and i’m thinking to myself you’ve been calling me. every time i do something he doesn’t like he will say i’m getting a restraining order on you. you are forcing me to be with you and he is allowing me to come over and spend time and calling/texting me too. his mother has the disorder as well and he doesn’t want to be a “pill popper” as he states (i apologize if that offends anyone it breaks my heart to say that) i don’t know if i should call his mom to ask her for help to get him medication or counciling. please someone give me advice i know he doesn’t mean any mean things he says b/c when we are together his actions are so kind and thoughtful. i want to just help him anyway i can. i don’t want to give up on him b/c i love him and his disorder is just a unfortunate hand he was dealt that i’m willing to help him play.

David I am beignning to understand what you are saying. I used to work for Social Security as a Service Rep and at one time I had to talk a yound lady out of commited suicide. That was the hardest thing I had ever done, but I believe it worked. I am currently supporting a friend who is bipolar. He’s staying with me and my brothers at our house. I’m learning all I can about his illiness, so I’m so happy that I found your column. Next Wednesday I’m going to start going to a support group. I believe I’m the only person he knows that is taking an interest in his well being. My own family is a little off-centered 2. I believe in a Jimmy Buffet song, “Fruitcakes”, God took us out of the oven a little too early and we’re all half-baked to some extent. You are doing a great job with this column and I hope your Mom is doing okay.
Thak you again.
Sandra Noah

I look forward to your daily messages and find something of personal value in each one. I am a new supporter and it is nice to know I am not alone and that there are things I can do to help our lives be more managable. My husband’s diagnosis was a relief – at least we finally understood what was behind his actions, decisions, and uncharacteristic personality swings. He is getting proper treatment and medication and is reaching a stability that I never thought would be possible. Through your help, I have learned that I play an important role in this stability and that my new responsibilities (monitoring his meds / actions / thought processes for signs of oncoming episodes, etc.) This has helped me so much, and my husband has accepted this and will communicate freely with me. His doctor has confirmed the importance of a supporter. I know that our future looks much happier and stable now. We have so much hope. Thank you for all your hard work and information.

Hi Dave,
I really enjoy your emails and information about supporting people with bipolar disorder. My first husband had it and now my adult daughter does too. Although not diagnosed, I believe my new husband has it. I think I attract people with bipolar!

My one comment is that I find the English usage in your emails distracting. As a former teacher, I of course see every incorrect tense of verbs, etc. I don’t think that English is your second language, but sometimes the wording of your writing sounds like it. A good example is the verb use. You often say “I use to be upset” or something similar when you actually mean “I used to be upset.”

I really think you are doing a great job and that your information is very helpful. You just might need an editor to clean up the grammatical problems.

Thank you for all your hard work.

Edie

Hi I have a bipolar disorder just wanted to say to everyone we are not crazy just a little unwell. I have been this way since 1984 on paper but really all my life. But take your meds they work I played around with them at first. But since my last sucide attempt in 92 I take them faithfully and since I married a wonderfull man who stands by me no matter what i do. Dont get me wrong I still have my moments and things seem out of place. I guess thats how to put it and i mess up but i hang in there and it allways gets better. So thinks for listening or reading this hope it helps a little.
Teresa

Hey, I have Bi-Polar and I have also had a major stroke. The way you address the disease on a daily basis is extremely imortant.
Truth is we all need your abvocacy. Please never stop. I am physically disabled now after years of being a sucessful Administrator, Manager, Co-ordinator in Government.

Dave

i always enjoy your emails so much and yes they are diagnosing me with bipolar disorder now i spend a lot more time in the mania phase though and people tell me i am on crack all the time i just laugh and say i tried it in my younger years did not like it much. Now however since my accident the Ms thing has come up and i am actually seeing a neurologist today. I am excited to talk to him because i know my body and i know i have not felt right i was recently forced to see how important sleep really is i was so stessed about my life and fighting with my own family that i just took off went up in the mountains survived on the land did not sleep for 5 days + everything started shutting down i could barly even talk some freinds finally came and got me and i agreed to taking sleep meds and am feeling much more like myself
annie green

I am a woman who suffers from Bipolar Disoder. I have suffered from it since a child. My disorder went uncaught for many years. The disorder wass not diganosed until I was 24. It wa so hardfor me. I knew there was something wrong with me but, eveyone just shrugged it off and said “wow she’s a bitch”. I knew that that was not me. I would g to the doctor b/c I would be so sick and depressed and did not undestand. They turned me away and said it was a weight issue. SO I went years thinking I was crazy and could not figure out why I was so sick. As sad as it sounds I was actually relieved to find out that I had been suffering from Bipolar Disorder all these years. I was at wits end with myself and my life. I just wanted to curl up in a ball and die. My doctor put me on meds that worked great. Then about a year later my husband and I were expecting our first child. I was rght at 7 months pregnant when I lost our son. This set me back to the severe depression. I got so sick I was blacking out, having mild seizures, could not even get out of bed.I was very ill. This was my worse episode ever. I even attempted to kill myslef 2 times. Thank God my husbad loves me so much he saved my life. It has been 1 1/2 years since we lost our son ad I am on new meds now and am doing much better. I still have episodes, and from what I am told will for the rest of my life. This is so scary to me and to my family. My husband has no idea how to act around me, I know he always has to “walk on egg shells” around me. I love him for putting up with my crap all the time.

I think what you are doing is a great thing! I love how you are educating people about this diorder. This helps my husband to better understand what I go thru and to kow how to deal with it. All I have to say is: Keep it up, and Thanks!

I find it is easy and difficult at the same time to know how to handle such request for money. I have volunteered for many programs at times, and currently help out with the church”s lunch program. It is very important to understand that there is probably a genetic element to the disease, and that any child of a bipolar, is high risk to have inherited the disease. These children need the right kind of support, but all to often are victimized by the system. In our case, we were exposed to family violence as a result of my father’s bipolar disease, and that was never dealt with by any one in authority. The result of this approach, is that when my brothers both had symptoms of the disease, it was not well handled,and instead of getting help they ended up as suicides. If ours was a family with a history of cystic fibrosis, or diabetes, no one would question the need for medication, and great strides have been made toward the control of those diseases. Unfortunately with psychiatric illnesses, support and monitioring of sufferers is sorely lacking. If they have a family to help, they are lucky, if not, of if the family connections have been so sorely taxed, then the patient is most likely to fall through all the cracks, and end up homeless, or in jail. Often family members are helpless, and must act to save themselves.

O.K. Dave,
So, here it goes! I will contact my significant other’s Doctor tommorrow and tell him that the meds that he put my boyfriend on are not only NOT working, but they are the wrong meds and he’s been diagnosed wrong, again. He acts like a mad-man. I am getting sworn at and degraded with the filthiest of names now that he has this new medication. To come to find out, that it’s not a psychiatrist who prescribed the meds, it’s a regular M.D.(???)
Even if my man wants to leave to be on his own and run around out there, I believe that I should at least let his Doctor know what’s happening and that his Doctor should direct him to psychiatrist and that his Doctor should also keep an open line of communication with my boyfriend, since I won’t be in my boyfriend’s life anymore.(his choice) This will stop a lot of my worry for my boyfriend’s future as well as very possibly guide him to get the right treatment.
By the way, your writings about moving make me want to move furniture for a living all over again. I did it for a few years and was supervisor of the truck a couple of years. The work was heavy work, all meals were essentially eaten in the truck or wherever we stopped, but there were great freedoms that came with being on the road all day and the money was great. It’s a business that I know like the back of my hand. Boy was it fun!

You woke me up today, Dave! I always say, “I’m bipolar,” but now realize that the disorder is just a diagnosis and NOT a description of me or my personality. I am a widow who is experiencing on-line dating, and the very first nice guy I went out with – to a VERY expensive restaurant – was talking about Britney Spears and her bizarre behavior. I said, “I’ll bet she’s bipolar, and by the way, so am I.” We discussed this awhile – he seemed interested – and then talked of other things. We had a second, walking date, and then he called for me to have dinner and watch a DVD the next week. Needless to say, he NEVER called after that – to cancel, or to confirm – and I never heard from him again.

Now, whether this means I scared him off by admitting my disorder or not, it feels as if I did. And I felt really bad that it didn’t work out…

I have another male friend who I’ve been seeing off and on for a year – who lives an hour-and-a-half away (I only see him on weekends) – and he told me that as soon as I told him I was “bipolar,” he researched and investigated bipolar so that he would be “up” on what to expect. He even said when he told friends about me, they asked him if he wasn’t afraid of me! Like, I’d pull a knife, or something! I gave him YOUR materials to read, and he said, “What is this? Ths Encyclopedia Brittanica? Is there an exam?” But he did glance at it.

We have a rocky road ahead of us, and he’s been giving me MORE than one chance to “shape up” – for which I am grateful – because he realizes it’s a MOOD disorder. My problem is separating the needs of the body from the needs of the emotions. I won’t go into the problems we have been having in THAT department, but you can use your imagination…

So – dating with bipolar CAN be VERY difficult, especially when you have to measure your words and whether to even bring it up. But-I am maintaining, and having a wonderful time!

After reading this i feel kind of bad. i live with my boyfriend who suffers from bipolar. he is on medication but he still suffers ‘mood swings’ which i am unsure if this is still supposed to happen. but i get quiet upset when he speaks to me sometimes like i am stupid or in a mean tone, i love him and most of the time he is great, but during his ‘highs’ he can be kind of nasty and i dont like him during those times. i then feel bad that i could think like that about him. i am going to the doctor myself next week because think i may be depressed a little myself from dealing with some of this stuff. i have also considered leaving, but i read something David wrote the other day about if he had cancer, we would just struggle on, so why is this different? there are struggles and problems with all couples, are mine so different?
thanks.

I have Bipolar Disorder I just wont to say that I love your e-mails.You are the best help to me.I wish I could get your couse but I can,t,my hubby is not working he broke his foot and it tuck 9 mounth to heal.2 surgeres latter, he lost his job.We had to barrow money from his brother we are up to $10.000 dollers,and I am on disabilaty and my meds,are taking a big bit out of that, we try to get food out of my money but that don,t last.But I am getting a lot out of the e-mails you sent me.Thank you for that.Keep tham coming.
SOFTHUGS
Judy Seagreaves

Please could you send me your interesting articles in Word or PDF format as I am compiling a document of what you have to say and there is too much paragraph editing to be done with line breaks in the middle of all your sentences.
Kind Regards,
Mark Goldberg.
goldberg.mh@gmail.com

I am 31 yrs old a wife and mother of 2 young children. I am bipolar. I also have debt because of bipolar. I commend you for your research and helping your mother. Some of us are having a hard time paying our bills much less buying extra things. For you to make this course is good for people who can afford it but for those of us who have nothing we can’t. Every email you send has a great topic but you have to buy something to get something. Take us off your list.

David,
It is so very difficult when many around the one with a diagnosed case of BiPolar Disorder are uninformed, uneducated and even mentally unhealthy themselves! SO much name calling and misinformation gets tossed out there. If you try to enlighten them, it sometimes only escalates things into more unwanted chaos!

It’s hard to know when to draw the line with your own family and friends, isn’t it? But much easier to teach total stangers your program! Most of the time anyway!
Susi-
Although I have the Disorder- I swear I am the more stable, SANER & KINDER of the bunch in my entire family!

Dave, I too, enjoy your daily emails. It is obvious that you have done a lot of research on this matter. I am high manic and I do talk a lot, and go from one subject to another. I am well medicated, but sometimes my thoughts run rapid. I had 3 uncles who were alcoholics, and I truly believe they were bipolar. I know many alcoholics and drug addicts who are bipolar and chose not to take their medication. There isn’t a whole lot you can do for someone who doesn’t want to help themselves. I know I am going to get a few comments about what I just said in the recent sentence. My sister in law had her husband put in a mental health facility and he walked right out after 2 weeks. It is hard to have someone commited, and it is hard to live with someone who doesn’t want to take their medication.

When someone makes a joke about me being bipolar, I have learned to overlook ignorance. I say that I am crazy in a joking matter. As the song goes, “I’m not crazy, I’m just a little unwell.” Maybe I have come to the point to where I don’t care what people say to me, and actually not many people say much to me. Those few who do, it doesn’t bother me. It’s their own ignorance, or perhaps they are bipolar themselves.

Let me tell you something that means a lot to me. THru your e-mails amd web site, Ive been brave to see a doctor and I got the right medication for bipolar and I have never felt this good in my entire life, all my friends and family van see the difference.
Thank you very much!!!!!!

Hi Dave,
I don’t know how I would get thru these endless sleepless nights without your website. You help me so much. In fact, I told my husband tonite that the only person that I believe truly understands the depth of this illness and how we really feel is you! He didn’t disagree. He try’s but he is not one that takes the initiative to research and learn about what I live thru every day. In fact, I think he is just too sensitive and can’t help but take it personal and he thinks that I just don’t love him anymore. Which is the farthest thing from the truth, I just am allways very angry because I am manic all the time. Been in a very bad epispode for the past 4 months and I have just want to be left alone.
Anyway, regarding your tip for me to ignore what’s said hits home, because I have a very hard time doing that. I just don’t talk to anyone anymore. I feel like everyone thinks I am just saying I have this so I can use drugs, because I do self medicate and I don’t want to, but I am dual diagnosis and I truly can’t stop. My husband only talks about that, never my illnesses, 2 of them, he thinks I am saying that so I can use. I even had him listen to your CD with the Dr. on addiction and bi polar and how we can’t stop. Oh well, he is very hard headed. I have basically given up on his support which is sad because he is all I have. I made a true attempt at suicide about a week ago and he just yelled at me all night. I had taken so many pills that I couldn’t talk and he said I was talking insane like I am. I gave up after that. I asked him a few days later why he didn’t take me to the hospital after I told him all the pills I had taken and how he hurt me. He said I do that to get attention and I have before so why should he take me serious? Well, I walked away thinking that this time I was serious and I was angry that it didn’t work. So, this is a biggy to ignore, but I am glad I didn’t succeed. I just have a hard time ignoring all his remarks about the drugs being the only problem and he just stopped talking to me anymore.

Anyway, thanks for your way for me to vent, it’s the only one I have and it sure helps.

Don’t ever leave us. I know I would be lost without you.
Thanks,

Laurie
Sleepless in Phx
and lonely.

But I do have God!
Goodnite.
3am

Hi Dave,
It’s me in Phx, of course not sleeping again…. I hate to sleep, I know it is so bad for me not to but I am always manic and I can’t stand to go to sleep. So, anyway, I love writing to you on your blog. I am not sure if you read them or not, boy there sure are a lot of them. If you do , you must never get anything done. I am still struggling with my life. But, today was about the best day I have had in 4 months, so there is still hope.

talk soon,

sleepless in phx.
Laurie

take care and God bless!