Bipolar Supporter Blog

Hi,

How’s it going today?

I have a friend that has a business problem. A big one.

They were going along in their business doing this, that, and the other thing. (It doesn’t matter about the technical parts.)

Basically, they had been doing something that had worked and worked really well.

Month in and month out.

Then all of a sudden this person changed something in his business process — Something super small.

No big deal right?

Well, his sales fell in half!

He was told by the person who did it that the decrease in sales could NOT be from this small change. (Despite the fact that nothing else changed.)

Eventually, he undid this “small change” and guess what?

Sales went back to normal!

Do you know the moral of the story and how this relates to bipolar disorder?

Scroll down for the answer.

The SMALL things can make a BIG difference.

Even though the person thought it could not, it did!

One time my mom moved up her bedtime one hour every day for about two weeks.

Just a small thing, right?

But she started going into an episode.

You would think that’s a small thing and it wouldn’t affect anything, but look what a big thing it became to my mom!

There are many little things that I talk about in my courses/systems that can make big differences in stability with bipolar disorder:

NEW
LEARN THE SECRETS OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL WITH
BIPOLAR DISORDER?
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/bipolarmastersystem/

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
If you don’t think that small things make a big difference, consider this:

Josie, a woman on my mailing list with bipolar disorder, wrote me this email:

“Dave-
I can relate to what you’re saying
about isolation. At first I just started
staying in bed for short periods of time.
Then they were longer periods of time.
Then I started pushing my husband away,
like I didn’t want to be with him. Then
my family. Then my friends. It’s like
I just wanted to be alone, you know?
It didn’t seem like a big deal to me at
the time. But then it got worse, and I
couldn’t seem to get out of bed at all.
I couldn’t even talk on the phone any
more. I got really, really depressed.
I couldn’t do anything around the house.
And the next thing I knew, I was in an
episode. All because I didn’t think
isolation was any big deal. Anyway,
thanks for listening. Josie.”

————————————————-

Isolation.

A small thing.

But it led to a big thing for Josie, and has for many others.

You see, isolation is one of the biggest triggers to a bipolar episode, just like the lack of sleep was for my mom.

What about supporters of loved ones with bipolar disorder?

They’re not off the hook just because they don’t have the disorder.

Small things can make a big difference to them as well.

If you stop watching for signs of a bipolar episode, even for a few days (that’s just a small thing, right? Just a few days? No big deal.), your loved one could go into a bipolar episode.

And what if you stop taking care of yourself? What if you think, well, that’s just a small thing. My loved one’s needs are much more important than mine.

But that’s not true! If you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t be able to take care of your loved one!

Do you see how small things can make a big difference?

What about you?

How have small things made a big difference in your life?

Please share the answer on here, because your answer may be able to help someone else.

Hi,

How’s it going?

This guy at support group was talking to me the other day, and the conversation went something like this:

HIM: I’m so tired of dealing with my wife.

ME: Why?

HIM: Well, she never does anything.

ME: What do you mean?

HIM: She never gets out of bed.

ME: Do you think maybe she’s depressed?

HIM: What does she have to be depressed about? Now me, I have a lot to be depressed about!

ME: Well, maybe if you talked to her…

HIM: (cutting me off) Why should I talk to her?

ME: Communication is very important if you’re going to be a good supporter.

HIM: Well, I come to these meetings, don’t I? That shows support.

Well, needless to say, I tried to tell him about what being a good supporter means, like I talk about in my courses/systems:
NEW
LEARN THE SECRETS OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL WITH
BIPOLAR DISORDER?
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/bipolarmastersystem/

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
But he didn’t seem to want to listen to what his side of things should be as a supporter to a wife with bipolar disorder. He just wanted to complain about her.

So this really made me think.

And I want you to do something today:

I want you to use your imagination.

Remember the old saying about how you can never judge a person until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes?

Well, today I want you to walk a mile in your loved one’s shoes.

I just want you to imagine it.

Imagine you’ve been told you have a disorder – a disease, if you will.

Only there’s no cure for this disease.

And it’s in your brain, not your body.

So it’s a hidden disorder.

And you’ll have to take medication for it. Every day. For the rest of your life.

Then you find out that there are side effects to the medication, and some of them aren’t very fun. In fact, some of them you don’t like at all, but you have to put up with them, because the medication helps you to get better.

Now imagine this…

You’re life is completely different than it once was.

You have bipolar disorder.

You can’t work, and you’re probably on disability now, so you have less money than you used to have. Your income is substantially lower. You feel so much less productive.

Your mood swings are horrible.

Sometimes you feel so sad, so helpless and hopeless…

And other times you feel as if you could conquer the world.

The only problem is…

You never know which mood you’re going to be in, and when the moods are going to change.

Imagine living with that kind of fear, that kind of doubt.

Now you have a doctor, a psychiatrist, and a therapist that you didn’t have before. And you have to see each of them on a regular basis. You probably hardly ever even went to the doctor before this! I mean, only when you were sick, or for your yearly flu shot.

Now it feels like you’re always going to some kind of appointment.

Ah, but you have your supporter.

Bless your supporter, who understands what you go through.

Or do they?

Imagine what it would be like to be your loved one…

Can you imagine now what your loved has gone through with their bipolar disorder?

Can you imagine now what they go through every day?

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How’s it going?

I read the greatest thing the other day:

“I once heard a Buddhist teacher say
that life is a lot like gambling in Vegas.
You have to be present to win. But
sometimes winning entails much more
than just showing up. It requires making
a bet on your best, bravest self and then
stretching beyond what you already believe
you can do to win the jackpot of your full
potential and deepest desires.”

I thought that was one of the most inspirational things I’ve ever read!

Makes me want to go out and conquer the world today, you know?

If it wasn’t for work, I probably would.

Oops – I’ve just done what I wanted to talk to you about today.

COMPLAINING

I just complained about having to work, and I shouldn’t have done that.

Because I truly love what I do, running bipolarcentral.com, sending out these emails, hearing from people, writing the courses and other materials, volunteering at support groups, giving talks about bipolar disorder, talking to doctors and other experts, interviewing success stories, etc.

And I’m really not a complainer.

That’s why I wanted to write this email.

And yet I got caught doing the very same thing – that’s how easy it is to do!

See, so many people complain, and make excuses for this and for that.

Some people blame all their problems on the economy.

Boy, do we hear a lot of that these days, don’t we?

But there are many people who are NOT using the recession as an excuse and are cutting back
on their expenses and living within their means, and are NOT COMPLAINING!

There are really no excuses for complaining.

It’s like that reading I quoted at the beginning of this email.

I know I seem to “preach” about it a lot, but it really does have to do with your attitude.

If you have a negative attitude, you’re not going to believe in yourself and your ability to reach “beyond what you already believe you can do to win the jackpot of your full potential and deepest desires.”

So there’s no excuse for having a negative attitude.

On the other hand, people with a positive attitude are getting things they desire every day!

Just look at some of the success stories at bipolarcentral.com!

That’s why I talk about having a positive attitude so much in my courses/systems.

Because I believe that having a positive attitude is just as important a part of your treatment as medication and therapy when it comes to stability.

NEW
LEARN THE SECRETS OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL WITH
BIPOLAR DISORDER?
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/bipolarmastersystem/

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
So there really is no excuse for not having a positive attitude.

But you do have a choice – nobody ever took that away from you. You can choose whether you want to be positive or negative.

Just like you can choose stability or not.

Just like you can choose whether to even accept that you have bipolar disorder or not.

Yes, that’s a choice.

But it is NOT an excuse!

And you shouldn’t complain about it.

Complaining doesn’t get you anywhere, certainly not towards stability.

Using the fact that you have bipolar disorder as an excuse for unacceptable behavior is simply a cop-out for not accepting responsibility for that behavior.

And I know that sounds harsh, but I’ve gotten so many emails from supporters saying exactly that.

Complaining is negative. It is NOT positive.

And negative things keep you stuck where you are.

If you want to move further ahead towards stability, you have to do certain things.

And the first thing you have to do is stop complaining about the fact that you have bipolar disorder.

You’re not the only one to have it.

Over 4 million people in this country have bipolar disorder.

You’re only ONE of them.

And don’t use it as an excuse to not do things.

You are most likely still healthy otherwise.

You still have your supporter, and maybe friends and family to support you as well.

You at least have a roof over your head, food to eat, and clothes to wear.

You have other things in your life that you should count your blessings for – things big and small.

You may not have chosen to have bipolar disorder. Nobody does.

But you can choose what to do with it – you can choose to get stable.

But you can’t use having bipolar disorder as an excuse.

And you can’t complain about it if you’re going to become as stable as you can be.

Not if you’re going to “win the jackpot of your full potential and deepest desires.”

Don’t you want to “make a bet on YOUR best, bravest self?”

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

How’s it going?

It hasn’t been going well for me over the last couple of days.

First a few days ago, I had a serious computer problem.

I took it to a specialist and he messed it up big time. I had to wipe off my entire hard drive.

I had backups but not was missing some stuff.

It was a total nightmare.

There’s an incredible bipolar lesson I am going to be telling you about all of this in the next week or so.

Even though I am really annoyed about all of this.

We are going to talk about being happy today.

Here’s something interesting for you to think about:

I dare you to be happy.

Yep, just like when we were kids, and somebody dared you to do something. Or double-dared you…

I dare you to be happy.

You might ask me, “Well, Dave, how can I be happy when I suffer from bipolar disorder or
depression?”

Well, I still dare you to be happy!

See, happiness is a state of mind – an attitude.

It doesn’t depend on whether everything is going right in your life.

It has to do with how you FEEL about your life.

I know a person who has bipolar disorder, and she still has episodes from time to time, but she
is still happy, because she has a good life.

How can she do this?

Even though she has episodes (because she still has a chemical imbalance in her brain), she
has learned how to manage her bipolar disorder.

This woman is one of the most positive people you’d ever want to meet, and I think we can all learn a lesson from her.

See, this is what I’m talking about:

This woman still has bipolar disorder, but she is HAPPY!

It’s all about your state of mind (your attitude) towards life.

You can choose to focus on the negative or you can choose to focus on the positive.

You can choose to be unhappy or you can choose to be happy.

It’s your choice.

So…

I dare you to be happy!

In my courses/systems, I talk about how there are some things you have control over, and some things you don’t have control over:

NEW
LEARN THE SECRETS OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL WITH
BIPOLAR DISORDER?
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/bipolarmastersystem/

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
Your attitude is one of the things you DO have control over.

Regardless of your moods, or the mood swings that come with bipolar disorder, that is.

And for supporters of loved ones with bipolar disorder, who might suffer with depression, it’s the same thing.

You could be depressed from time to time, but you can still be happy with your life
in general.

I know, that sounds weird, doesn’t it?

But depression is a temporary state of mind – it will pass, if you let it.

But generally speaking, you can be a positive person.

No, you can’t control others.

No, you can’t control the world.

No, you can’t control the state of affairs.

No, you can’t control what happens to you.

BUT…

Someone once said that “Life consists of 1% what happens to you and 99% of your reaction to it.”

You CAN control your reaction to what happens to you.

And, like I said before…

You can control your attitude, and still be happy with your life,

You can still be happy with yourself,

You can still be happy with things in general.

So, despite bipolar disorder, despite depression, you can still be happy, that’s what I’m saying.

SO…

I dare you to be happy.

I double-dare you!

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

Hi,

I hope you’re doing well today.

Let me ask you a question.

Are you a willing person?

I bet you are, aren’t you?

Because you’ve been willing, all this time, to put up with your loved one’s bipolar disorder.

Now let me ask you something else.

Is your loved one a willing person?

I don’t mean strong-willed, because that’s something else. Many people with bipolar disorder are strong-willed people.

But is your loved one willing? That’s what I’m getting at.

Because if your loved one is willing, they might be willing to do this:

CHANGE.

Without the willingness to change, there is no hope for stability.

But with the willingness to change, there IS hope for stability.

And isn’t that what it’s all about?

Here’s how it goes:

Willingness leads to change.

Change leads to growth.

Growth leads to stability.

Now think about yourself.

Are you the same person you used to be?

No.

That’s because you’ve changed.

It’s because you “grew up.”

You matured.

Somewhere along the line, you changed the way you thought about things, and changed those patterns of thinking into new ones.

But has your loved one done that?

Perhaps not.

Perhaps they even resent you for doing it while they haven’t.

Maybe it has to do with you being positive, willing to change, while they’re still being negative, and unwilling to change.

In my courses/systems, I talk about how your attitude has so much to do with how you or your loved one progress in your recovery:

NEW
LEARN THE SECRETS OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL WITH
BIPOLAR DISORDER?
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/bipolarmastersystem/
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
Have you changed enough to be willing to help your loved one to change as well?

Have you learned enough about bipolar disorder to know that change is very hard for someone with the disorder?

I know someone in a 12-step program, and they told her when she first got in the program, “The only thing you have to change is everything.”

Can you imagine being told that?

Well, that’s practically what your loved one was told when they were diagnosed, isn’t it?

They thought things were a certain way, and then they were told they have bipolar disorder. And with that diagnosis came some changes they would have to make.

What changes? Everything!

Their sleep patterns. Their exercise patterns. Their eating patterns.

Their daily routine. Probably their job.

The way they think. The way they feel. The way they deal with things (and other people).

The way they approach life, and especially stress and stressful situations.

That they have to take medications every day now.

That now they have to see a doctor, psychiatrist, and therapist on a regular basis, and report to them (now, that’s probably a REAL big change for them – they’re an adult, after all, and not used to reporting to anyone!).

Can you imagine all these changes at once? It must have been so overwhelming for your loved one.

Still, these changes must take place in order for them to reach stability.

And, in order for you to become a good supporter, you had to join in on many of these changes as well. And that may not have been very easy for you.

I know, because I had to do it, and I had to help my mom through it.

But change is necessary for growth.

And growth is necessary for stability.

And so I ask you:

Has your loved one been able to do it?

Have you been able to do it?

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

PLEASE FORWARD TO YOUR FRIENDS

Hi,

How are you?

I hope you are doing well.

Here is today’s news.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews424

Bipolar Disorder Supplements
DO> Interesting article

Teen Travels to Lansing with Message on Bipolar Disorder
DO> Good story you should read.

Add-on Treatment may Reduce Treatment-Associated Weight Gain Caused by Antipsychotic Treatments
DO> VERY interesting article for a big problem with bipolar disorder

Lack of Mental Health Services Leads to Patients going Untreated
DO> This is really the truth, don’t you think.

Virgil Swing: Many People still Uninformed about ‘Mental Illness’
DO> Another story that reveals the truth.

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews424

==>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all
aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

How’s your day going?

Let me ask you a question:

Have you ever had someone tell you not to complain because it was just a waste of time?

I bet you have.

Well I don’t think that it is sometimes.

I think that complaining about bipolar disorder whether you are a supporter or a survivor is good sometimes.

Why?

Am I insane?

NO ( not yet, anyway : ) .

Anyway, it’s because it allows you to vent or release tension.

It’s good therapy, in my opinion.

When you are not allowed to complain, you sometimes feel like you are going to explode. and that is not good.

Too much complaining is bad, however.

No one likes to listen to a complainer, especially if that’s all they do.

I think it’s good to let loose and complain every now and then, though.

IF you’re doing something about it, like I teach in my courses and systems:
NEW
LEARN THE SECRETS OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL WITH
BIPOLAR DISORDER?
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/bipolarmastersystem/

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
There’s a positive way to complain and a negative way to complain.

If you complain and don’t do anything about your situation, that’s complaining in a negative way.

Like, I’ve been to support groups and, week after week, the same people, all they do is complain, and they come back week after week, and they’re still complaining.

And every week they complain about the same thing.

The same people, complaining about the same thing!

Till it gets to the point that nobody wants to hear it any more.

Do you know why?

Because they’re not doing anything about their situation.

But here’s an example about a good way to complain.

Say your loved one is having problems with their bipolar medication.

It’s giving them all kinds of side effects, and it’s really bothering them.

And they complain and complain and complain to you about it.

Well, that’s bad complaining, because YOU can’t do anything about it.

But if they call their doctor and complain to HIM about it, it’s good complaining.

Why?

Because the doctor CAN do something about it.

That kind of complaining is positive, because now your loved one can get something done about the bad side effects of their medication.

See the difference?

That’s what I’m talking about.

Not like the complaining like the people in the support groups who complain to the point where nobody wants to hear it any more.

Or those types of people (everyone knows someone like this) who complain about this or that or whatever every time you see them.

Or hypochondriacs who are always complaining about things that are wrong with them.

And who knows if these things really are wrong with them or not?

But they complain about them anyway.

Here’s another example:

Say you see a charge on your credit card and you know you didn’t make that charge.

If you don’t complain about it, you’re going to have to pay that money.

So, in this case, you better complain, right?

So there are times when complaining is the right thing to do.

There are times when complaining gets things changed.

Like your loved one and their bipolar medication.

Or a bogus charge on your charge card.

So my point to all this is that sometimes complaining is negative, but sometimes it can be positive, too.

Do you agree or disagree?

Can you think of a time when complaining worked in your favor?

Tell me about it.

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.