Hi,
How’s it going today?
I have a friend that has a business problem. A big one.
They were going along in their business doing this, that, and the other thing. (It doesn’t matter about the technical parts.)
Basically, they had been doing something that had worked and worked really well.
Month in and month out.
Then all of a sudden this person changed something in his business process — Something super small.
No big deal right?
Well, his sales fell in half!
He was told by the person who did it that the decrease in sales could NOT be from this small change. (Despite the fact that nothing else changed.)
Eventually, he undid this “small change” and guess what?
Sales went back to normal!
Do you know the moral of the story and how this relates to bipolar disorder?
Scroll down for the answer.
The SMALL things can make a BIG difference.
Even though the person thought it could not, it did!
One time my mom moved up her bedtime one hour every day for about two weeks.
Just a small thing, right?
But she started going into an episode.
You would think that’s a small thing and it wouldn’t affect anything, but look what a big thing it became to my mom!
There are many little things that I talk about in my courses/systems that can make big differences in stability with bipolar disorder:
NEW
LEARN THE SECRETS OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL WITH
BIPOLAR DISORDER?
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/bipolarmastersystem/
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
If you don’t think that small things make a big difference, consider this:
Josie, a woman on my mailing list with bipolar disorder, wrote me this email:
“Dave-
I can relate to what you’re saying
about isolation. At first I just started
staying in bed for short periods of time.
Then they were longer periods of time.
Then I started pushing my husband away,
like I didn’t want to be with him. Then
my family. Then my friends. It’s like
I just wanted to be alone, you know?
It didn’t seem like a big deal to me at
the time. But then it got worse, and I
couldn’t seem to get out of bed at all.
I couldn’t even talk on the phone any
more. I got really, really depressed.
I couldn’t do anything around the house.
And the next thing I knew, I was in an
episode. All because I didn’t think
isolation was any big deal. Anyway,
thanks for listening. Josie.”
————————————————-
Isolation.
A small thing.
But it led to a big thing for Josie, and has for many others.
You see, isolation is one of the biggest triggers to a bipolar episode, just like the lack of sleep was for my mom.
What about supporters of loved ones with bipolar disorder?
They’re not off the hook just because they don’t have the disorder.
Small things can make a big difference to them as well.
If you stop watching for signs of a bipolar episode, even for a few days (that’s just a small thing, right? Just a few days? No big deal.), your loved one could go into a bipolar episode.
And what if you stop taking care of yourself? What if you think, well, that’s just a small thing. My loved one’s needs are much more important than mine.
But that’s not true! If you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t be able to take care of your loved one!
Do you see how small things can make a big difference?
What about you?
How have small things made a big difference in your life?
Please share the answer on here, because your answer may be able to help someone else.
Post responses below
I totally agree that supporters must always, continually take care of themselves too- their ambitions, health, needs….I started back writing music as well as exercising recently. The mental as well as physical benefits do wonders in keeping me focused in all areas of my life and helps makes me a stronger supporter for my loved one.
Dave,
Thanks for the many tips, and you are 100% correct..I have found that if I don’t do the things that I normally do, my husband then thinks that he is doing something wrong. As of right now he is doing fantastic! We talk alot about his disorder, and we cope with it one day at a time. Before he went to the Dr. for his meds, it surely was not a good time. But he found the right Dr. and the right medication and is doing wonderful. Its like living with a totally new person. The thing being is if I change my habits, it sets him thinking that he is doing something wrong. Keep up the good work, you are an inspiration to alot of people.
Sandie
I have recentlly been diagnosed bi-polar after being committed to phsch ward. The absolute worst experiencece in my life! I have stopped drinking, smoking dope and taking pain pills. still cutting and burning, dont know why. Taking medicine which is giving me trouble but i guess they just need to find the right combo for me. I have to be honest Im scared as hell. I have been fighting this for years before finally hitting rock bottom after trying to over dose on pain pills. I fell as low now as I have ever felt. I am a sale manager for a car dealership, Im used to people looking at me as a force to be recogned with, but now I feel Knee high to a grass hopper. Just having a huge amount of trouble dealing with this, cant believe its me. worried about losing my job are if I can even handle my job any more, its very stressful with long hours. trying to salvage my marriage which is a roller coaster. this really sucks!
well, SMALL things do make a difference some days the supporter,is just to tired to help or even want to help,it is hard to have to always watch every SMALL thing every day some times it is hard enough just to watch my self ,it feels like like i am two people I need to watch myself and my family member too,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,did you sleep well???????? did you eat this morning ???????? did you take your meds???????????did I sleep well?? did i forget to eat ???? did i brush my teeth???am I going to work ??? are you goinging to work ????I wounder if i am going to make it threw the day??? I havent even left the house yet and i feel tired ,maybe i didnt sleep enough ……maybe I should just go back to bed my self ???????????????????????????
Dear Dave,
When the time changed (I didn’t really prepare for it, like I used to do with my children when they were little, start putting them to bed earlier, in small increments over the weeek before) I was totally thrown off of my sleep schedule and had to call off of work for a day or two, because I couldn’t get up in time for work. It did eventually straighten out (I started to going to bed an hour earlier than my normal bedtime and my internal clock readjusted after a few days). Next time, I will adjust my time BEFORE the time changes. Just a little thing.
Chris
I have an 11-year-old daughter just recently diagonsed with bipolar disorder. After months of uncontrollable rages, 3 hospitalizations, and doctors telling me I am making the episodes up, she is finally getting the proper treatment. One little thing I have done that improved the stability of my daughter is to go for a walk every night with her after dinner. It may be a small walk, just down the block and back, or a walk for an hour or more, but it has made a world of difference. She has not had a rage since I started the ritual. She raged 4-5 nights a week, even on medication, and still shows the signs of adjatation around 8-9pm every night, but NO RAGES since the walks began. Another little thing I’ve done for her is get up and cook breakfast for her every morning. She leaves for school at 7am, and getting up to make her breakfast is not an easy feat for me some days, but if it helps her start the day in a better mood, it is a feat worth doing for me and her well-being.
I read some of the comments above & I relate to the one of the Car Sales Manager. My husband was diagnosed as being bipolar & also with depression, however, when his mother came to visit over a year and a half ago, (she lives in another country), she and he together convinced him he is not bipolar & did not need his meds. He had only taken them a couple of weeks & said they were working great. (He had been on meds in the past, but never took them very long, & these seemed to be doing better); however, despite that, they both convinced him thwt I was just trying to get him hooked on pills, which is definitely NOT the case! I just needed some stability, because the episodes were killing me.
Anyway, my husband stopped taking the meds & we have since been back & forth like a roller coaster, as the Car Sales Manager said. I think this is it. I can’t take it anymore. My husband gets aggressive & verbally abusive & I cannot live with a person that does not want to get help. He refuses to get any spiritual help through Church, for example, psychological, etc. I do not know what to do anymore. I have small children & I do not want them to see us this way anymore. My husband is great when he is not having episodes, but then something will “trigger” him, & I can & do see the signs, & he goes off again, many times worse than others. It is unbelievable, & I have lived like this for so many years, but I cannot help someomne who admits then doesn’t admit & has numerous episodes without getting any help.
Please let me know what you think, & thank you so much for your e-mails. They are a true blessing!
Dave and All,
Your observation skills are abundant!
Domino effect. Everything seems to effect something.
Even a pebble will ripple the whole surface of a pond. There is also a consequence below the water’s surface, that we don’t see. The fish react, the sediment at the bottom will be stirred…etc…
Any time we have the priveledge of making a choice, we should do it with respect for the consequence of the things it will touch. Especially, the things we don’t see.
The immediate gratification can be reflected in what we see. But, the hearts we stir should also be considered.
Thank You, for listening.
May God Bless All,
vicky
Right on!
Hi there,
Everyday there is something new innovative or just plain common sense in these emails.
Thanks for telling that story Dave,every little clue for a supporter is gold.
I have been so emmersed in my daughter’s big episode I hadn’t thought of the detail they do say the devil is in the fine detail: Rachel is about to come home we will be moving to bigger place soon to cope with her moving back in: and I hear what you are saying -I will have to plan for what is a 10 on a scale of 1 to 10 in stress factors and change dynamics.
I find it remarkable that every time Im about to turn a new corner in my supporter role, and Im worrying about these changes might have on my daughter and myself,and I click on your email, you are talking about stuff that I have just been through or am about to embark on. Having read this latest email I figure that my daughter and myself need to cojointly build a road map for this change this move to a new place.We have 4 weeks before the move I better get started.
I might might start by talking with her mental health providers
It may mean that Rachel is not involved in the actual move itself, because that is very stressful and maybe we will visit the new place each week to acclaimatize to make and discuss plans A B C…. I need more help folks if there is anyone else who has been in a similar situation and has some helpful tips I would be grateful.
Regards
Shona
YOOO…..
First of all donna loved your myspace site rock onn girl.
As for little things Mmmm if a can say this ma dogs little
with a huge heart.
Take Care Linda x
World Peace
Dave, I am a 73 yr. old caretaker for my 58 yr. old daughter with bipolar. I have been caring for her for almost 3 years now, and it doesn”t get any easier though I understand somewhat what triggers her episodes, but sometimes it’s like living on pins and needles. I get so worn out watching her actions all day long, making sure I give her meds to her on time, and being very careful what I say, as she tends to change the meanings of what I’m trying to say to her, and blows everything out of proportion.
I hope that makes sense. I have a wonderful husband, we are now retired, and just want to take some travel time which we have not been able to do. My husband gets depressed, as I do, being confined day in, day out. Thank you for your Emails.
Readers,
Daylight Saving Time was inspired by someone who wanted to create confusion. It takes me several weeks to completely adjust to that small change. Sometimes even the anticipation of the change will affect me. Small changes can create big changes in moods.
Dear David,
I have found out something about bipolar that may help some. My daughter is only 8 and has a chromosome translocation with 1 and 11 and it causes bipolar and Schizophrenia.She also was adhd and now we can not give her the adhd meds cause it goses aginst the bipolar she has. How i came to find this out i had to have a amio done cause i was 35 when i got pregant and they told me that this was going to cause her to have heath problems. So i asked her dr. about it , he told me that this was very important information. here she was acting up in schoool fighting cussing you name it she was doing it.so he sent her for blood work to check everything out. And it came back and it was ture and now we have to have her to go the special drs to help with her due to what it can do to her. Just a small change in the chromosome can do alot damage in a person i will be glad to send you the web sights if you would like to check into them and dig futher for why people can have bipolar and it is inhearted for the family jeans. Just let me know if you would like to have those sights and i will be glad to send them to you. Thanks Becky
dear dave
this is so true one little change in schedule clothing or anything sets my son in a rage but some changes just have to be made so we have to deal with it as it comnes because dr visits he has to go and so do i i am so glad you put the part about taking care of your self because i am verry guilty of that i will push my needs aside for my son and i know this it took time in a hospital to actually make me realize i was doing this i really try hard now not to make that mistake again but i still do it alot because my son has never been stable and we have been doing this years its like he is manic daily every day so its hard not to isolate your self because at any second he will start raging
Turn it up Dave;
Why send me your ROT if I cannot post a response to it which contains ONLY PROVEN SCIENTIFIC & MEDICAL FACT?
I SEE AS NOTHING PSYCHIATRISTS EVER DO IS BACKED BY ANY SCIENCE NOR MEDICINE!
PSEUDOSCIENCE.
YOU ARE NOT ONLY A JOKE, YOU ALSO KNOW YOU ARE PEDDILING FRAUD, FOR IF WHAT YOU REGERGITATE IS TRUTH, YOU WOULD PUBLISH MINE FOR IF YOU ARE RIGHT,I AM A FOOL & I AM WRONG…
OK CLOWN/PUPPET, where is the 1st Posting?
I will retype it tommorrow for I met a Woman last night & I am supposed to be at Hers Now.
Hmmm I got off the “Antipsychotics” & “Mood stabilizers” NOW I am Regaining a Life.
Though GOOD People you must wean slowly off the TOXIC TRANQUILIZERs.
OR you will suffer a WHITHDRAWAL effect.
The Quack will tell your Fplks it is an acuite eppisode. and “Proof” you need the Mind Body & Soul Destroying ROT for Life…
LIVE LONG;
LIVE STRONG.
PROVE THEM ALL WRONG.