Hi,
How’s it going?
It hasn’t been going well for me over the last couple of days.
First a few days ago, I had a serious computer problem.
I took it to a specialist and he messed it up big time. I had to wipe off my entire hard drive.
I had backups but not was missing some stuff.
It was a total nightmare.
There’s an incredible bipolar lesson I am going to be telling you about all of this in the next week or so.
Even though I am really annoyed about all of this.
We are going to talk about being happy today.
Here’s something interesting for you to think about:
I dare you to be happy.
Yep, just like when we were kids, and somebody dared you to do something. Or double-dared you…
I dare you to be happy.
You might ask me, “Well, Dave, how can I be happy when I suffer from bipolar disorder or
depression?”
Well, I still dare you to be happy!
See, happiness is a state of mind – an attitude.
It doesn’t depend on whether everything is going right in your life.
It has to do with how you FEEL about your life.
I know a person who has bipolar disorder, and she still has episodes from time to time, but she
is still happy, because she has a good life.
How can she do this?
Even though she has episodes (because she still has a chemical imbalance in her brain), she
has learned how to manage her bipolar disorder.
This woman is one of the most positive people you’d ever want to meet, and I think we can all learn a lesson from her.
See, this is what I’m talking about:
This woman still has bipolar disorder, but she is HAPPY!
It’s all about your state of mind (your attitude) towards life.
You can choose to focus on the negative or you can choose to focus on the positive.
You can choose to be unhappy or you can choose to be happy.
It’s your choice.
So…
I dare you to be happy!
In my courses/systems, I talk about how there are some things you have control over, and some things you don’t have control over:
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Your attitude is one of the things you DO have control over.
Regardless of your moods, or the mood swings that come with bipolar disorder, that is.
And for supporters of loved ones with bipolar disorder, who might suffer with depression, it’s the same thing.
You could be depressed from time to time, but you can still be happy with your life
in general.
I know, that sounds weird, doesn’t it?
But depression is a temporary state of mind – it will pass, if you let it.
But generally speaking, you can be a positive person.
No, you can’t control others.
No, you can’t control the world.
No, you can’t control the state of affairs.
No, you can’t control what happens to you.
BUT…
Someone once said that “Life consists of 1% what happens to you and 99% of your reaction to it.”
You CAN control your reaction to what happens to you.
And, like I said before…
You can control your attitude, and still be happy with your life,
You can still be happy with yourself,
You can still be happy with things in general.
So, despite bipolar disorder, despite depression, you can still be happy, that’s what I’m saying.
SO…
I dare you to be happy.
I double-dare you!
David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.
Post responses below
Davo,WHY IS IT not UP FOR MODERATION?
WHY IS IT IT TELLS ME DUPLICATE?
NOTHING ELSE IS UP YET?
You started out SO WELL.
Then it died in the arse.
Yes right at that:
“Chemical imballence.”
If you can analize the chemical Nature of a Living Brain. You are the only one ever to Breathe who can.
However as it CANNOT be found even in a Cadiver…
How on Earth can Drug Cartels use ROT like:
“Corrects the Chemical imballence.” ROT.
“iT’S LIKE INSULIN FOR DIABETICS.” ROT.
IF LIED LIKE THAT FOR MY COMPANIES, I WOULD BE SHUT DOWN VIA LAW SUITS.
When for one they don’t have a clue what the ballence is supposed to be…
I know a Woman with a PROVEN Zinc/Copper imballence. SHOWN IN A BLOOD TEST.
psych. QUACKS/WHICH HUNTERS have been “treating” her in an institution for 15 Years.
She merely gets worse.
She had a life, & great job… PRE PSYCH. AS WE ALL HAD.
Her Mum tells the QUACKS of the Zinc/Copper imballence Which CAUSES it. QUACKS don’t believe in that.
Perhaps as that is SCIENCE NOT pseudoscience!
Same as Mercury & other heavy metals CAUSE Madness.
Toxins & Heavy Metals including Lithium can be removed with Liquid Zeolite.
Yes Hair,Urine & Blood tests PROVE IT.
Same as LOW Cholesterol will CAUSE depression. As do “Antidepressants.”
“Antipsychotics” Make me psychotic…
WHAT PROOF DO PSYCHIATRISTS HAVE?
NILL, THAT’S POSITIVE.
NO SCIENCE NOR MEDICINE BACKS ANY THEY SAY OR DO.
WAKE UP DAVE, THE SMELL OF THAT PSYCH. CA$H HAS YOU DLERIOUS.
Dave;
I did like the:
“Call your friends with good news.”
That works wonders for me. I forgot to mention it.
Yes doing good things for yourself & others brings a great feeling.
Telling people good news about others I find best, each to their own.
However I did not read the whole Post. So ther was more than likly some psych. BABBLE there somewhere?
A DRUG PUSH?
A PUSH for PSEUDOSCIENCE?
I don’t know, no time to read had to save lives & Families.
Dave: Have you studied any Layer, Carpenter (Spelled as Builder) or Champie yet?
Nor have I, no time, been Surfing.
Sharks, just attack them, they are not used to it…
HI MENTLE HEALTH WORLD…..
It all about your state of mind and being positive, people around you, Positive people towards you as well, And your
feelings have to come in to it. I seem to have a stay calm
reaction most of the time, I try not to let things bother me I tell my self to back down or take no notese. Attitude
in life sometimes stinks but thats just me. But am all so
HAPPY just for you.
P.S sorry to hear about your computer.
Take Care Linda. x
Hi, Dave,
Right on. I remember how my Dad would explain my good grades to my younger brothers & sisters. He said, “95 % persperation (can’t spell it correctly), and 5 perseration inspiration” meaning that the good Lord game me some brains but I worked my tail off.
Lee
Okay, that was timely. I was really dreading today. And just reading that made me feel better about today. Today will be difficult but I will approach it with a more positive attitude. Thank you.
Good Morning, Troy I feel so bad for you it seems like you are in so much pain. Do you have a good support system or are you alone in this. Where do you call home and maybe I could help you try and find someone to support you. It doesn’t have to be like this for you.
It would make so much easier for those suffering from depression if they did have “control over their life”
I totally agree with your statement that “you can’t control what happens to you”. Since we don’t have that control if we endure a chemical imbalance you also can’t control what your reaction will be.
Since you mention to us often about the experiences of your mom, and how helpful it is to have lived though the bad spots with her, and how healthy she is now.
To give you an idea of the other end of the spectrum I would suggest reading some books available by Kathy Kronite,Andrew Solomon, and of Kay Jamison. Their books are compliations of stories from those who have suffered.It gives a person who is not doing well, the eye-opening perception that there are others that struggle, and unfortunately some stories are being told by those that are left behind.
I dare you to walk a day in the life of a bipolar. No make that a week or a month or a year or a decade. Try 4 decades. WHY do you insist on happy? Can’t it just be regular. Bipolar sucks the spark of joy out of what may once have been happy people. Is it drugs that does that or the continual unpredicibility of waking up each day? Too much diversity of attitude and one longs for regular. Get up. Eat something nutritious. Exercise. Work to support oneself. Watch some TV or read a book. Talk with your friends or loved ones. Sleep. That is what a happy day looks like to a bipolar. Why insist I be an ambassador to the world for happiness. This is not a happy circumstance.
Right on David! Yup…your attitude DOES
determine your happiness:) AMEN!
Hey David,
Hope your day is going better now that your computer is getting fixed. I know what you were saying about some things not based on situations. For instance a clinically depressed person isn’t necessarrily sad about a particular incident but rather the chemical imbalance makes it a state of mind. And a person can choose to fight it or let it control them and all that they do.
I did want to add one thing however. “Happiness” actually is defined by the Greeks as based on situations. We can be happy and quickly be unhappy. I think what you were actually speaking of was “joy.” And it is that that can never been taken from us. That inner contentment despite situations bad or worse. And it definitely can put a smile on our face even during the worst of it.
I’m very grateful for your blogs. I send them to my bipolar I daughter,to encourage her in her pursuit of living with this illness, and my non-bipolar husband so that he can understand us better. Some days your blogs really help lift my spirits or help me to actually put to words how I am feeling. Thank you so much for using your personal pain for something higher and better. You are appreciated in our home.
Though I put on a “happy face” when I’m out in public, I am suffering through “mixed episodes” combined with a LOT of anxiety. For one, I’m going to have too much month at the end of my money! Sound familiar??!!
And, YES, Troy, I believe in “better living through chemistry!” If I take this little blue pill, I KNOW I will feel BETTER. I’m “adjusting” my own meds right now; I was taken off Valium and put on Klonopin at night. However, the anxiety has taken over, and I find myself reaching for the Valium. Believe it or not – it works! But, NO, I’m NOT a believer in over-medicating; just enough to get me through the day.
I like Trisha’s description of “Why insist I be an ambassador to the world for happiness.” Sometimes I find it VERY hard to show “happiness” to ANYONE, much less myself. Yes, I’m “happy” I have a home, my two cats, and food to eat. But – way down deep – I’m STILL bipolar, and I don’t feel well…
I have a date for dinner with a very nice older man on Wednesday, but I KNOW what we’re BOTH going to have on our minds, and I “think” THAT’S what’s driving my anxiety. It’s been a looong time since I’ve had THAT kind of attention from a virile man, and I’m scared. I feel I won’t measure up (my apartment is cluttered; there are papers everywhere, etc.). Am I good ENOUGH just being ME??!! I’ve told him I have bipolar, and he’s confused about it, but willing to give me a try anyway. Another long-distance romance (he lives in Williamsburg; I live in Charlottesville), with all the time constraints that involves. But – I LIKE him very much, and have no reason to be nervous. I’m a big girl now…
BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good. I pray for my country.
I am also very familiar with having to put on my “game face” when going out in public.
Know what it’s like to be alone. Also what it’s like to have someone special in your life.
Suzanne I will be thinking of you Wednesday evening.
This has nothing at all to do with the topic at hand.
It would be good for whoever is responsible for moderating this blog, to check a dictionary for the spelling of the word, previous.
Troy dude. I’m bipolar and happy! I know you are two dude. Flight of thought is fun for a bit but man, GET SOME SLEEP AND BACK ON THE MEDS and it will be fine and you’ll get over it. Listen to some music ♪♫♪♪♪♫….
To WILLY: Thanks for your kind thoughts 🙂 I think it will go all right, because I FINALLY figured out what’s REALLY affecting my mood right now – “Anniversary Reaction.” For those unfamiliar with it, it’s a subconscious reaction to events, either traumatic or celebratory, that are relived in the psyche that affect MOOD. I usually get the Anniversary Reaction around Easter time, as that is when my Dad died in 1969, and I got married for the first time, in 1984. Unfortunately, that marriage ended 5 years later with the death of my beloved husband.
Especially when you have 2 direct opposite emotions at the same dateline, it makes it hard to decipher what, precisely, is going on. Because I haven’t been affected by the Reaction in YEARS, I failed to recognize the clues. Shallow breathing, panic attacks, and a LOT of anxiety are just some of them.
I’m seeing my therapist on Thursday, so I can talk it out with her; better than letting my date in on my “dirty little secret!”
I’m looking forward to a VERY good evening Wednesday night…
DAVE, too true that we can all get depressed from time to time. Those of us without bipolar get depressed for a definable reason. When we have worked hard towards an aim and the door is slammed in our face just before we reach it … that depresses anybody. Likewise we are happy when we accomplish something and see everything fall into place, for which we have worked or waited for a long time. Then, of course, there are the strange menopausal moods. It’s amazing how well my boyfriend understands them, because they are so similar to his own bipolar moods. We both had some good news recently and are feeling happy. Sometime this coming week we will be going out, which we haven’t done in ages. Right now we’re full of the joys of spring.
SUZANNE, you’re right about anniversaries. My boyfriend gets those same anxieties. Seasonal changes also affect him big time. It’s coming up to the anniversary of his episode leading to the psych ward. A month ago, with the possibility of “the joys of spring” developing into another episode (he had got a little hypomanic) the doctors increased his anti-psychotics. Within days he plunged into a depression. Thank God it didn’t last long and with the combination of meds right now he is absolutely stable. Good luck to you on Wednesday!
TROY, you have been in this episode a long time. You are very likely to crash if you don’t accept help.
Glad you posted this. I am happy most of the time.When I’m not,I ask myself “What can you do about what has you so upset.?”The answer is usually very little. I do what I can do and get back to being happy.It anoys a lot of people,but I do not waste time being upset.I need all the energy I can muster without letting other people rent space in my head.Keep up the good work.
Amen to inner joy! As I read what Randee wrote; “it can never be taken from you” it sparked such a truth! We may not be happy when we stub our toe, yet it shall never affect our inner joy! I recently shared with a dear friend, “My husband can hurt my mind with untrue statements delivered in vulgar language and a cruel temper, and he can hurt my body with pushing and spitting in my face, however he cannot touch my joyful spirit!
As always, thank you David for another wonderful email. Yes, everyone has the free will over controlling their reaction to what happens to them……….. This is key! My husbands ‘world’ (as he calls it) blames his reaction on what has happened to him in his past. He claims everyone is out to punish him and includes me sometimes…….. very sad. Therefore, his bad attitude about everything, large and small is always somebody’s fault… all of his behavior he backs up with “If you, he, she didn’t do this, that, or something,…. Then I wouldn’t have to drink, curse, scream, destroy things…etc.
He has such a simple concept twisted ……… I am so sad for him and there is NOTHING left for me to do! We have attempted every path to admit, cope and manage…….. it never lasts. Although I am SO UNHAPPY WITH THE CIRCUMSTANCE ……… it cannot strip me from my personal inner joy… I still love and feel love.. I still forgive and understand, I am still patient and kind. It is my free will to be. Thank you David………. May everyone dare to take your dare!
Phooie Dave one can’t think oneself happy I have been there and done that for the past 7 months. AThe only thing I get is deeper down the drain. I surround myself with happy people,try thinking happy thoughts,try helping others(this always gives me Joy),doing all my exersises that I have been taught through the years and still I am slipping further away each day from being happy. I am not on medication because my doctor says that there are no more meds for me to try. I say phooie to that too because there are tons of drugs out there and I sure haven’t tried them all. I just don’t want to see or hear from the human race anymore.
Dave, you are so right about “happiness.” In “What the Bleep Do We Know?” the man says that when he wakes up in the morning, “I create my day.” Speaking of miracles, after several years of being psychotic and off his meds, my son signed himself into the hospital last year and after two weeks of treatment, they put him on one medication instead of five and he has been doing very well ever since. He has tried very hard to get better, and his attitude as you mentioned is what has helped him the most. Thank you again for all of your encouragement!