Hi,
How’s it going?
I read the greatest thing the other day:
“I once heard a Buddhist teacher say
that life is a lot like gambling in Vegas.
You have to be present to win. But
sometimes winning entails much more
than just showing up. It requires making
a bet on your best, bravest self and then
stretching beyond what you already believe
you can do to win the jackpot of your full
potential and deepest desires.”
I thought that was one of the most inspirational things I’ve ever read!
Makes me want to go out and conquer the world today, you know?
If it wasn’t for work, I probably would.
Oops – I’ve just done what I wanted to talk to you about today.
COMPLAINING
I just complained about having to work, and I shouldn’t have done that.
Because I truly love what I do, running bipolarcentral.com, sending out these emails, hearing from people, writing the courses and other materials, volunteering at support groups, giving talks about bipolar disorder, talking to doctors and other experts, interviewing success stories, etc.
And I’m really not a complainer.
That’s why I wanted to write this email.
And yet I got caught doing the very same thing – that’s how easy it is to do!
See, so many people complain, and make excuses for this and for that.
Some people blame all their problems on the economy.
Boy, do we hear a lot of that these days, don’t we?
But there are many people who are NOT using the recession as an excuse and are cutting back
on their expenses and living within their means, and are NOT COMPLAINING!
There are really no excuses for complaining.
It’s like that reading I quoted at the beginning of this email.
I know I seem to “preach” about it a lot, but it really does have to do with your attitude.
If you have a negative attitude, you’re not going to believe in yourself and your ability to reach “beyond what you already believe you can do to win the jackpot of your full potential and deepest desires.”
So there’s no excuse for having a negative attitude.
On the other hand, people with a positive attitude are getting things they desire every day!
Just look at some of the success stories at bipolarcentral.com!
That’s why I talk about having a positive attitude so much in my courses/systems.
Because I believe that having a positive attitude is just as important a part of your treatment as medication and therapy when it comes to stability.
NEW
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So there really is no excuse for not having a positive attitude.
But you do have a choice – nobody ever took that away from you. You can choose whether you want to be positive or negative.
Just like you can choose stability or not.
Just like you can choose whether to even accept that you have bipolar disorder or not.
Yes, that’s a choice.
But it is NOT an excuse!
And you shouldn’t complain about it.
Complaining doesn’t get you anywhere, certainly not towards stability.
Using the fact that you have bipolar disorder as an excuse for unacceptable behavior is simply a cop-out for not accepting responsibility for that behavior.
And I know that sounds harsh, but I’ve gotten so many emails from supporters saying exactly that.
Complaining is negative. It is NOT positive.
And negative things keep you stuck where you are.
If you want to move further ahead towards stability, you have to do certain things.
And the first thing you have to do is stop complaining about the fact that you have bipolar disorder.
You’re not the only one to have it.
Over 4 million people in this country have bipolar disorder.
You’re only ONE of them.
And don’t use it as an excuse to not do things.
You are most likely still healthy otherwise.
You still have your supporter, and maybe friends and family to support you as well.
You at least have a roof over your head, food to eat, and clothes to wear.
You have other things in your life that you should count your blessings for – things big and small.
You may not have chosen to have bipolar disorder. Nobody does.
But you can choose what to do with it – you can choose to get stable.
But you can’t use having bipolar disorder as an excuse.
And you can’t complain about it if you’re going to become as stable as you can be.
Not if you’re going to “win the jackpot of your full potential and deepest desires.”
Don’t you want to “make a bet on YOUR best, bravest self?”
David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.
Post responses below
Phenomenal simple truth! Thank you David! You are an inspiration to all who allow you to touch their lives! The owner and founder of the company I used to work for ALWAYS responded to “Have a nice day” with “Thank you I will, I’ll MAKE it a nice day.. and YOU DO the same”
Great man! Wonderful boss, friend and asset to all!
Thank you for sparking this thought! I have not said this in years! ….. Nice to share one of my many inspirational moments!
Have a nice day! (You know the response! …. May you live it!)
YOUR RIGHT! We shouldn’t complain at all! Being bipolar myself, I have found myself blameing things on my disorder. This topic was very helpful to me. I should be more grateful for what I have instead of complaining about what I don’t have OR will never get because of the economy! Gd has blessed me, I took a moment after reading your e-mail and just thought about what I have, what my life is, where I’m at in life and realized that I am truely BLESSED! Thanks for your e-mails, I love them!
Janell, NC
Where do you draw the line between complaining, and either calling out for help, or just needing someone to listen to at situation where you seem to just be grasping at straws.
Need to be careful what straw you grasp at.
HI MENTLE HEALTH WORLD….
Yes we all should be gratefull for what we got:
a roof over or heads, food, clothes we wear:
All that we are thankfull for we appreciate everything we have, some poeple avent got any of that its so sad.
But most of all I was blessed with 2 buitifull buterflys
“children”.Mmmm my depest desires dono what that is. I want to now my true purpose in this life I am determand to find out, dose any one really no.
Take Care Linda x
David, Do you have anything to say about bipolar relationships where two people are bipolar? My partner has been bioolar II for about thirty years. I had depression which turned to bipolar II five years ago (but I had had some hypermanic episoses before that which were not diagnosed as such.) I have been to hell and back coping with my partner and his bipolar I type of high. I think he has less to contend with as my hypermania does not go to destructive levels. He has, at times, believed he can go without medication which naturally leads to disaster. Now that is complaining!
I have written you many emails over the past year; not once have you written back to me personally. I have some really true issues that I need help with. MY son is manic dep bipolar and myself, have anothe daught with it and a daught with schizophrenia and they are doing terribel things to her at a state instit. Have sent you many emails asking for info and no reply. She has had this for 6 yrs and never put in leather restraints and here at state hosp did and not for harm to self or others and left bruises on both arms from wrist to elbows and refuse to let her sign 72.please advise
Dave – where does it say a person with bipolar is sometimes “out of their heads” and just CAN’T take responsibility for their actions? When I’m in a manic episode, I’m not AWARE of it until the “bad things” start happening. Yes, I do things I’m not proud of in a mania, but just apologizing for them to anyone is not the answer. How can I be kept accountable for my actions when I am deemed “incompetent” by the courts?? I was adjudicated “insane” by a judge and sent to the State Mental Hospital. My actions could NOT be held against me because I was “not guilty by reason of insanity.” No, I didn’t commit ANY crime, except I was bipolar.
So – please don’t live in your Ivory Tower and tell us people with bipolar that we must, AT ALL TIMES, be held accountable for our actions. Yes – I WANT to BET that I can be “all I can be,” and, for the last 32 years, I haven’t had a significant manic episode. BUT – that doesn’t mean I WON’T some time in the future. I can only rely on the professionals at the local Community Mental Health clinic to assess my “daily” moods.
I am going through a VERY hard time, accentuated by Anniversary Reaction, where I am “nervous as a cat,” and can find NO relief. Please DON’T be so “high and mighty” in your own assessment of how true bipolar mania makes us. A “positive attitude” is one thing; hypomania/mania is another.
BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good. I pray for my country.
Dear Dave,
You can choose stability, have a happy attitude, think positively and still get knocked off your happy, stable life into an episode. Life events effect stability as much or more than just wishing it were so.
Thank you for the ability to discuss the bipolar lifestyle. It allows me an anonymous outlet for discussion of bipolar challenges without having to burden my family, friends and clients who neither care (relate) or understand.
Have a happy day.