=>PLEASE FORWARD TO FRIENDS, FAMILY AND LOVED ONES <=
Hi,
How’s it going?
I hope you are doing well.
What a nightmare it was for me yesterday.
The second after I sent out my daily bipolar
email, I started getting calls from my mom.
I thought, “oh geeze.”
I was suppose to go to the library and
do some serious work.
I am actually working on a book on
investing for private equity funds, hedge
funds and investment banks–really technical
stuff.
So anyway, I was suppose to a lot of work
in this area in addition to some work
on bipolar disorder stuff.
Plus I had a lot of meeting scheduled.
Also, I have so many people now working
on projects, I have to keep track of them.
I have some amazing people who get things
done so fast and so right, the problem
is me and approving projects and moving
on to new ones.
I have given extremely complicated things
to some people and they get it done
so fast weeks or a month ahead of time.
Then they wait for me to look it over.
I had to do a whole lot of that yesterday.
These are all bipolar related projects.
So my mom called and she was talking
really fast and I knew that she was
stressed and currently manic.
I thought in my head, “I just don’t
have time to deal with this right
now.”
She basically she told me how her computer
was messed up but she was fixing it with
my dad. I asked where he was and she said
he left. I knew then, she wasn’t well.
How did I know? My dad rarely leaves
the house before 9:00am. He does that
when my mom isn’t well to avoid having
to do anything. He has done this my entire
life.
As a kid, I remember my mom not doing
well, my dad at work and my brother taking
care of me. Sometimes when I think about
it, I feel bad for him when he was a kid
and had to deal with it all by himself.
But anyway, I knew that my mom wasn’t
doing well because anytime she isn’t doing
well, my dad leaves the us really early
and comes home really late.
So anyway, basically my mom started
getting mad at me.
So I put my foot down and said, “mom
you sound like you are manic or getting
manic and you need to make the right decision
and help yourself.”
She then got mad at me and said:
I am not manic stop telling me that.
If I am manic, because you made me manic
You’re going to put me into an episode
On and on and on. I just listened and
didn’t argue.
NOTE-Don’t argue with someone who is
attacking you.
In my courses/systems this is a key
strategy for both bipolar supporters
and bipolar survivors.
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
So I said, “Mom, here’s the deal, I don’t
have time for this. I have to go to the
library and then I have a HUGE gigantic
consulting client to talk to today and
I have to be ready and I can’t sit and
argue with you. I will not let bipolar
disorder screw up yet another thing
for me. I am expecting that you’ll
do the right thing. You know what you need
to do so I am confident that by the
end of the day you will do it.”
Then my mom said, “you want me to
go to the hospital???????”
I said, “I have to go, I am confident
that you’ll make the right decision
and do what you need to do before
it gets totally out of control.”
So I hung up.
Here’s the deal. These days, I refuse
to stop my entire life and miss out
on stuff because of bipolar disorder.
I did that for so many years and will
not do it again.
I could have driven to see my mom, cancelled
everything hurt my reputation in consulting
but I chose not too? Why? Well I have tried
that kind of thing and it never
worked.
I said to my mom that she knew what she
had to do and would make the right decision.
That’s where my focus was.
What’s the right decision? To call her doctor
and therapist and go and see them.
So we will see what happens. I really don’t
know what happened. I had too many things
to do yesterday to check.
So might think this sounds mean but
after years and years of jumping
every single time there is a problem
and spending every last dime I ever had
on problems, I refuse to do it again.
If I am a betting person, and I am not
because I don’t believe in gambling,
my mom will call her doctor and therapist.
I am confident my mom never ever wants
to have a huge episode again.
We’ll see.
Here is what I could have done and why
I don’t think it would work:
I could have defended myself when my
mom or her bipolar tried to blame me.
Why not? It never works.
I could have stopped everything and
driven over to see her.
Why not? It would have told her bipolar
that basically it can manipulate me. I have
tried them probably 100 times in the past
and failed 100 times.
I could have argued with her.
Why not? Arguing never works. I have tried
probably 1000 times and failed 1000 times.
I could have started yelling back.
Why not? It never ever works. Escalation
never works. De-escalation works much
better.
I could have called and ask my dad
what was going on.
Why not? He never given valid information.
It would take me an hour to get him to
tell me the truth. He would say “she’s
doing great.” He never admits what’s
going on unless I ask 50 times in 50
ways and take about 1 hour and I don’t
have time for that kind of thing.
So that’s that.
Even worse yesterday I had a lady get
my cell phone number and call over and over
again right before I was to talk to this
huge investment bank. She was demanding
that I fire a person named Jerry. I don’t
even have a Jerry that works for me.
It made no sense.
Then I had another lady who left threatening
voicemail messages.
Yesterday was one of those days that I said,
“What did I get myself into.”
I was bipolared out for the day. Imagine
you have to do consulting with an investment
bank and mintues before some one is threatening
you about total nonsense.
I have to go now. Catch you tomorrow.
Your Friend,
Dave
P.S. Want your own copy of these daily bipolar
emails sent to you for F.ree? If so, visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/register3
P.P.S. Don’t forget to take a look through the
different programs I’ve put together… each one is designed
to help you with a different area of bipolar disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp
P.P.P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/
P.P.P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com